₦airaland Forum

majekdom2:
How about you get blessed by the word of God ?

dem don come again

franugo:
I

L
O
V
E

Y
O
U

Blood Of Jesus

Aystarz:
Dayuum.! Like Ishilove like standd. It's little wonder they're pals.

This satire catches the true statusco of the average naija fake lovelife. Brilliant stuff here.

Thanks Aystarz....

standd:
Blood Of Jesus

na the Jesus naim tell me 4 dream say me n u, you n i need 2 align

Ishilove:
Call me old fashioned, but I still believe in love

Surely love exists. Once in your life, you meet someone that blows your mind completely. Someone who loves you completely and you love that person back.

Babe, love exists. Although in today's society the word has been so bastardised, and the true meaning lost, but it surely exists.

Yes, love exists, I said that already. But Ishi, I once read a comment of yours, where you advised people in love to apply sense in relationships when they know that their traditions/customs/folks may kick against their choice of a life partner...Tell me, how can you fall in love with a person and still not cross the tribe-boundaries. Like, I love you but you are Igbo so I will learn to un-love you. This country, I repeat is not for relationships/Marriage kind of love.

Justfollowit:
Standd

All these for you



You have just spoken my mind

Love do not exist in the context of which we have been brought, and if we are to be practical - Love is subjective.

It is not just about Nigerians, it is what is obtainable everywhere.



The most important factors in relationships are what you have already listed

'But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.'

searching4love

This piece is for you o

WTF?

Justfollowit:
Standd

All these for you



You have just spoken my mind

Love do not exist in the context of which we have been brought, and if we are to be practical - Love is subjective.

It is not just about Nigerians, it is what is obtainable everywhere.



The most important factors in relationships are what you have already listed

'But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.'

searching4love

This piece is for you o

I even think the present generation mention love all the time just to get what they want. Nothing serious, nothing tangible, just some English word to be thrown around when ever we want.

I don't know how else to explain this. Love can be truly seen/felt between a mother and a child but between the so-called lovers of today, all-na-wash. I have said it before and I will say it again.

searching4love:
WTF?

Lol Easy

bro...its quite obvious that i cant gain a thing frm your story.......

standd:
Lol Easy

I don't take poo from Nigerian women. Y'all should learn to stay outta ma way

UjSizzle:
Yeah, we don't really understand love, but we try when we believe our feelings are honest.
That's not to say there aren't people who lie though. One would be smart to nurse a healthy skepticism for anyone who professes love freely.

So what is love? Who knows really. Just eliminate all that doesn't seem like love instead.



Love your voice, Standd.

Perhaps what you mistake for love is the innate quest for security, mutual respect, infatuations, lust and other feelings wrapped up to look like love. Nigerians do NOT know what it is to love in the context of relationships/Marriage. We only try to conform to the dictates of time by mouthing off the word LOVE seeing that the rest of the world is doing so. I could begin to quote examples but knowing that you are a Nigerian in Nigeria, I'll leave you to find instances all around you.

I am so f**king sure of this, some people in this country have NEVER EVER mentioned the word love to their parents or siblings. But immediately they see someone they yearn to 'devour', they begin to mention love per second, just to get what they want.

searching4love:
I don't take poo from Nigerian women. Y'all should learn to stay outta ma way

standd:

Bleep you

sweetcocoa:
Nice one standd.

Funny but true and deep.

Still, there are people who genuinely love and stay true.

Our fore fathers didn't have to tell their wives anything, the women then, practically did all they were told by their parents, including who to marry, once married, these women become properties of their hubbies and literally worship/fear him, so they endured all the men's excesses without complaining.

It's not as if they had it better.

Yes, my point is we still share the same DNA with our fore fathers as long as mutation hasn't occurred in Nigeria. Why then should we suddenly pretend to understand Love in the context mentioned when an average Nigerian has to check a list before falling in love. For instance, your parents don't want you to marry from a particular tribe because the tribe fought with yours in 1807, then you decide never to even pay attention to anyone from the tribe.
We can turn love on and off in this country...I just feel we should find another word to use instead of love when it comes to getting hitched.

searching4love:
Bleep you

Bleep you too niccur

Why can't I like this post an 100 times?

alberto2k:
Nice one standd


I don't understand why I have this weird feeling that seun himself moved this thread to fp

Lol All your feelings have been wrong from the very beginning. Haven't I told you this before?

standd:
Bleep you too niccur

I hate u with passion. Don't mention me again

searching4love:
I hate u with passion. Don't mention me again

Mtcheeewwww Your hatred or even love will not add one day to my lifespan...So stay calm and keep searching for love

toykathy:
wow! Standd, this piece of urs is so deep n real. So so on point. Nyc one sweetie.

Thank you

standd:
•
Standd. On Love and a typical Nigerian.
© 2015

All rights reserved ®

****

By now you know I am a Nigerian- Born, 'bread' and 'ewa-agoined' in Lagos, Nigeria.

And oh, I have been in love, with people, places and the good things of life. Now to the topic of discourse..

I once told my friend that when a Nigerian talks about love, he never really understands love in the context of relationship and marriage.
Even our ancestors did not buy into the sham called love in the contexts mentioned above...

****
200 years ago, in one remote village in Nigeria...
Bala went on a journey to a land far away, and returned home with 18year old maiden named yejide. No questions asked, no fanfare, no useless and unnecessary profession of love and whatnot, no shawarma, no trips to the mall, no lies...
Bala and his maiden bride, lived happily ever after.
Bala became a successful cocoa farmer, with 12-15 children sired from his loins...
Let us not forget that Bala probably married other wives and never slacked in his duties as a husband, father and head of the home...
Bala probably never mouthed the word love, yet he lived with his wives in peace and contentment.

****
Two years ago, Lekki, Nigeria.

Freda met Jude inside one of the many shops at Spar...

'Cheiii, see this clean guy, designers from specs to shoes, nice hair-cut, sweet skin-tone...God pls let him look at him...oh God! I love him already'

Freda mused within while pretending not to see Jude. She then stylishly turns her backside to him, ensuring that her well proportioned 'Ukwu' is in Jude's line of vision.

Then the Ukwu catches Jude's eyes...(Pls note, the Ukwu, not Freda's character, caught Jude's eyes)

'Oh my god! Baba, see yansh, if I no knack this babe, make I die...na my food be this one'

Meanwhile, Jude has a fiancée, a girlfriend at his work-place, a side-chick and Chinwe, the FWB.

So, Freda meets Jude and in the course of talking and gisting, they mention LOVE a thousand times, over and over again.

They exchange pings and buzzes, send a million emojis, Jude dazzles Freda with his cash and swag while Freda swings from cowgal to 'kukere' on the king-sized bed.

Pls, don't ask me what Jude and Freda are up to right now...We all know Jude will not get married until he is nearing 60, when there are a million Fredas asking for his 'Love' and then maybe there's no job ( Ok, pls blame Jonathan) or perhaps Freda's wife-material can barely sew a blouse ( forget the love they claim to share) or maybe, just maybe, one pastor somewhere saw a vision that Jude's wife is fair-skinned...If Freda is dark-skinned, then love will frizzle into thin air...

And Freda just realized she is nearing 40 and her biological clock is about to crash ( No, she can not change the battery)... So she no longer loves Jude...

Oh! She even blocked him on whatsapp...end of story.


****
2 weeks ago, somewhere in Nigeria, two people meet on an online forum and 'fell' in 'love'.
They exchanged PMs, flirt and cat-fished each other to Jerusalem and back. Then finally, they meet...

Boy: Oh! You are so lovely. I love you so much. I will marry you. I feel like I have met you since forever.

Girl: I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.

Boy: I love you

Girl: I loved you first.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you and I want you.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you ( insert 'kiss' smiley ten times).

They have sex (though they say it's making love).
They profess love over and over again like mentally-challenged oafs.
****
Three years later, they are still dating...Ten years later, their engagement and wedding ring, lay in chibuzor's shop in Balogun market, waiting to be bought.

And they keep on dating and dating and dating till eternity....


****
Okay, for some gals- love equals how many shawarma you can buy, and how much you have to spend. For some, they will love you by washing your entire house, cooking Onugbu, Ogbolo, Masa, Jollof rice, and cat-fish pepper soup just to increase their wife-material...

Some men will love you only when your yansh is in the air, and you will hear them yelling their love as they cum all over your destiny.

Some will love with all their heart, introduce you to their folks, help you loosen your dirty braids, and even buy you a BB Z200...But please, love will not stop them from slapping your mouth till you bleed if you irk them a bit or straffing the gal down the street.

*****
Nigerians are good people, they look out for each other, welcome strangers, they help the old to cross busy roads, return 12 million naira found in Airport toilets. Nigerians are hard working, peaceful and very open. But please, can we all go back and ask our aged folks, elders and kinsmen what they said in place of 'love'.

Because as it is...
Our brand of LOVE in Nigeria can barely cross from Osun to Nnewi.

Our brand of LOVE sees and appreciate facial beauty to character.

Our brand of LOVE do not respect poor husbands but can take kicks and blows from rich husbands. Forget the lies about staying for the children, if Baba Biliki was a Vulcanizer, you will not think twice before kicking his ass out.

Our brand of LOVE do not understand marriage vows, some would say the vow today and drive to pekas tomorrow to pick up the 'fair sisters'.


I am NOT sorry to say this, love in the context of relationships and marriage is not a Nigerian thing. My opinion...


Sometimes, a man will genuinely love a gal but then the guy's mother who is from Anambra will not let him bring a Delta girl home... Not even a gal from Imo. They can love from Gaza to Namibia, love in Nigeria do NOT cross boundaries!

But surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

They say love in Tokyo, not love in Nigeria after all.

****
Then if the guy is unlucky enough to be Hausa, and the gal's father is a very 'holy' Man of God...Then, they should fling their love in the nearest lagoon....In my country, if you truly want to love when your traditions and folks are not smiling, you simply elope. Gather your mat and bride, and flee to Egypt...If you send foreign money some years later, they will forgive you and hop the nearest bus to find Western Union Money Transfer.


****
Still on the matter......Maybe,

40 years later, somewhere in the Mega city of Lagos, Nigeria. ( Yes, Nigeria..or you think there's Biafra and Arewa Republic? )

Amy meets Kamalu in the electric train plying Ikorodu to Berger....


Kamalu: How are you ma'am?

Amy: Fine, thank you.

Kamalu: Where are you from?

Amy: Nigeria.

Kamalu: Cool, me too. I work at Chevron.

Amy: I am a tailor.

Kamalu: It's a pleasure meeting you.

They exchange numbers and plan to meet again.

**
After about five dates....

Kamalu: You are really nice and homely, will you give me 3 babies?

Amy: *blushes* Why not?

Kamalu: Ok. Let's meet at Orions clinic. I will have them freeze my sperm. When you get there, just mention my name and they will collect your eggs.

Amy: Okay.

Deal sealed. No mention of love or marriage or all these yamayama lie lie things.

Lol (Pls, I wasn't laughing at all when I said that, the same way I don't feel anything when I type - 'I love you' )

Everyone is saying it, no be only me waka come.



****
Seriously, I really wish people can come out clean and define what they want from the get-go. You want to knack a gals bum, tell her (promise marriage and thunder will fire you).

You see a nice homey girl, groom her and table your desires before her, work on yourselves and take a vow to cherish and truly love..(Pls, you can not love Chinwe and Bola and Augusta and Sumaiya all at once, fear God na).

You want to attend pekas-fellowship and Ashewo-community your entire life, brother, pls do. Your kini is your own to use as you deem fit. But don't turn that gal who truly wants you into a tramp. And don't get married, if your kini has been ordained from heaven to render community-service. (There's no crime in staying single, don't mind the noise in the market)

You see a guy that you fancy, he fancies you too and starts to woo you. Decide what you want, do you want to settle with a man, or you desire you to be gang-messed by the entire male community, all in the name of 'big-gal', your name is on the register of every club..
You want to pull a Toke-Makinwa on every party organizer...
Pls, sister...decide what you want. It's your life after all.
But pls, don't get married if you still desire your ex's anaconda or you are not inclined to love and truly love.


*****
Yes..true love exist in Nigeria, as long as people still build and visit orphanages, give to the poor, help the helpless and homeless, look out for neighbours and basically, show love and respect others.

But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.

Shouldn't we be asking our 'fathers' what they told our 'mothers' back in the days before the 'oyinbos' crossed the rivers to land on our shores.

Choiiii!

'Megida, I love you so much'
Meanwhile, what she loves is his looks, his cars, his cash and his spending-abilities'

'Rebecca, I will never leave you for any other'
Meanwhile, his spirit already left his body to visit Mary.. and the desk in his office is scarred with the indents of several female butt-shapes.

How do we all mouth 'I love you' in Nigeria and still manage to keep a straight face.


Even the not-so-good-looking Sister Mary in DLCM is nearing 50, and no man has seen her in his dreams or approached her. Pls, we know the Holy-spirit does not discriminate, so tell me, why is Sister Mary not married! Why?


Love kooo, love niiiii...
Say you like me and I'll smile and say thank you but you meet me today and you say you LOVE me and you are a NIGERIAN....
*Blood of Jesus*




******
This is my opinion....Comments and contributions are welcome.
Please like and share.
Thank you.

Visit my blog:
Chesapeakesblues

****
Standd,
Feb, 2015.

Enter d elite employee quest 2015,0-5yrs experience needed
Click:https://tips.naij.com/enter-the-elite-employee-quest-and-win-big.html

majekdom2:
How about you get blessed by the word of God ?

OK sir.

This is wot i tell people,dont go about telling ladies you love them because you are nt sure,just tell d lady you are attracted to her and in the course of d relationship you will knw if you really love her,can you cope with her strength and her weaknes

joeyemi:
This is wot i tell people,dont go about telling ladies you love them because you are nt sure,just tell d lady you are attracted to her and in the course of d relationship you will knw if you really love her,can you cope with her strength and her weaknes

True that. Men will profess love and then for instance, if the gal visits for the first time and bed-wets, love will dissappear ...But why, why?

davidflo:
OK sir.

standd:
Lol All your feelings have been wrong from the very beginning. Haven't I told you this before?

Nah... But most times my instincts are on the right path

sweetcocoa:
Nice one standd.

Funny but true and deep.

Still, there are people who genuinely love and stay true.

Our fore fathers didn't have to tell their wives anything, the women then, practically did all they were told by their parents, including who to marry, once married, these women become properties of their hubbies and literally worship/fear him, so they endured all the men's excesses without complaining.

It's not as if they had it better.

So we were told....Or so we want to believe

There have always been bad husbands and always will be. But our forefathers had a proper view of marital commitment. Though there were cases of woman who left their husbands house because of domestic violence, the majority knew that there was no way two or more people would live together without problems, yet they were determined to stay no matter what. I was opportuned to meet my grandparents, and it was my grand dad who bore my grand ma's 'bad mouth' without raising his hand on her. And they lived together till his death at 75.

My point is, our generation has a wrong view of commitment and marriage. When something is about to go bad, we work to repair and not throw it. For me, that is true love. The romance is a side attraction.

I must ask my pa what he said to ma then.
But your writings are making me fall in ''love''
what should i say? '' I love your brains?

standd:
Perhaps what you mistake for love is the innate quest for security, mutual respect, infatuations, lust and other feelings wrapped up to look like love. Nigerians do NOT know what it is to love in the context of relationships/Marriage. We only try to conform to the dictates of time by mouthing off the word LOVE seeing that the rest of the world is doing so. I could begin to quote examples but knowing that you are a Nigerian in Nigeria, I'll leave you to find instances all around you.

I am so f**king sure of this, some people in this country have NEVER EVER mentioned the word love to their parents or siblings. But immediately they see someone they yearn to 'devour', they begin to mention love per second, just to get what they want.

It's not a Nigerian thing, Standd; it's a global phenomenon. We just don't understand love. We try to, but we don't completely get it because our emotions and sentiments are tied to everything we do. So far though people explain love like they perceive it to be, which is why I said that to know love, one must first eliminate that which isn't love. Hopefully we will gradually draw nearer to what love means in a marital context.

Oh I know you're not Christian, but here's what the Bible says anyway. A man must love his wife like Christ loved the church, even to the point of death. And a woman must respect (read submit) to her husband, as the church to Christ because he is the head.

That aside, here's what I think is really the problem with our version of love: We haven't learnt to create the balance between self-preservation and loving another fiercely (romantic love I mean).
That's one. The other is that you're being unfair by suggesting that a person who ticks off a check list doesn't know love. To love your neighbor and to love a man aren't quite the same thing. The former must exist irrespective of personal desires, the latter though...
I believe that one must fit a person's standards for them yield their vulnerability over, otherwise we'd be an open book for every Tom, D and Harry

The Op is blessed. Just what I needed to start my day.


I laughed so hard the woman sitting beside me here in this bus started thinking I was going Gaga.

Standd, awesome piece, I must say. It's a shame that we (humans, especially Nigerians) generally prefer lies. I hope that changes soon, though I doubt it ever will.

UjSizzle:
It's not a Nigerian thing, Standd; it's a global phenomenon. We just don't understand love. We try to, but we don't completely get it because our emotions and sentiments are tied to everything we do. So far though people explain love like they perceive it to be, which is why I said that to know love, one must first eliminate that which isn't love. Hopefully we will gradually draw nearer to what love means in a marital context.

Oh I know you're not Christian, but here's what the Bible says anyway. A man must love his wife like Christ loved the church, even to the point of death. And a woman must respect (read submit) to her husband, as the church to Christ because he is the head.

That aside, here's what I think is really the problem with our version of love: We haven't learnt to create the balance between self-preservation and loving another fiercely (romantic love I mean).
That's one. The other is that you're being unfair by suggesting that a person who ticks off a check list doesn't know love. To love your neighbor and to love a man aren't quite the same thing. The former must exist irrespective of personal desires, the latter though...
I believe that one must fit a person's standards for them yield their vulnerability over, otherwise we'd be an open book for every Tom, D and Harry

This is why I brought this to NL..I have learned a lot from every comment. I understand your point but please oh, I still don't understand love in relation to Marriage/Relationships in Nigeria. I don't understand, I swear.
Thanks for contributing.
BTW, I was born Moslem but now a Christian...Funny enough, I don't understand the Nigerian brand of Religion too...Maybe I will have to relocate to Togo