₦airaland Forum

Rose2014:
Could u please throw more light on what u mean by 'treat people the way they treat u except family(by blood)
Thanks

good day lady, what I mean is that one shouldn't turn their backs on their family no matter what(and by family I mean blood) , u might treat their f ups but u still gonna kick back with them because once ur family by blood ur bound to be family till whenever unlike some one u met someday and became family by agreement or friends .for example no matter the kind bad things that my mum does to me no matter how crazy or whatever I will always love and respect her, NO MATTER WHAT!! but I can't say that about any other person.

there situation (the guy and his girl) is not rocket science, call a spade a spade... u all know that.

mcdokwe:
I don't and it is my greatest regret.
My hitting her can never equate to the verbal, emotional and often physical abuse she subjected me to even though the later comes to nought as I am stronger than she is.

Believe, any man who loves you would wish that you are all laughter all the days of your life, but women often give room for that as narrated above. And had women more physical power than men, the male folks would have gone into extinction.
No man would be as stupid as to hit a woman for no cause.

Why not take her to court? Do not make this an excuse to not be a father to your child. You probably don't want to cause anymore issues by going after her for the child but the woman might be ill, like bipolar or something. You need to make sure your child is with the right person mentally and emotionally. Your ex doesn't seem balanced in the head. I am not saying to take the child away but make sure he/she is in your life and don't feel sorry for the mother if the child has to be in your custody, your child's health and wellbeing is more important than anything.

babyosisi:
Ok he got angry beat her,let me try to understand that
Why pummel her latter at another location ,same day to the extent that some women present couldn't stop him
This is a man totally out of control more than he is willing to admit
Doesn't he know how to walk away?
Even with all the embellishment of his story,he comes out many shots and grades less that Buhari's copied and pasted WAEC certificate

TOTALLY OUTTA CONTROL?? what do you think pushing one against the wall or SNAPPING IS?!?! let me reiterate honey he SNAPPED, LOST CONTROL, LOST HIS MORALS.... is that hard to comprehend?!?

doesn't he know how to walk away?!?!? didn't you read the story or understand it?! HE TRIED TO WALK AWAY BUT LOCKED THE DOOR AND ATTACKED HIM AND SMASHED HIS PHONE... honey I guess the ability to comprehend is sooo expensive

yinkus4u2c:
Myopic u say? smh...i dont tink u knw wat dat means.
D lady had her faults, yes! but did d mister's actions solved d probs? Hell no! but rather complicated it. This is whr d issue of selfcontrol comes in,women will always be women.
Ladies r not meant to be trampled upon but be cared for.
at ds juncture...i quit

"...women will always be women".Lie.Dere r WOMEN n dere r women,ur type can neva be a wife material,if u live wit dis ur awkward notion."Ladies are not meant to be trampled upon but be cared for"...most dumbest feminist line eva..so it is men who r 2 be trampled upon?U beta change ur mentality,cos a lady lyk u,wud turn her husby 2 houseboy all in d name of "i want care as a woman".

icedbeatz:
good day lady, what I mean is that one shouldn't turn their backs on their family no matter what(and by family I mean blood) , u might treat their f ups but u still gonna kick back with them because once ur family by blood ur bound to be family till whenever unlike some one u met someday and became family by agreement or friends .for example no matter the kind bad things that my mum does to me no matter how crazy or whatever I will always love and respect her, NO MATTER WHAT!! but I can't say that about any other person.

there situation (the guy and his girl) is not rocket science, call a spade a spade... u all know that.

I greet u back sir
Dont u sense any bias in this your theory?

kandiikane:
Why not take her to court? Do not make this an excuse to not be a father to your child. You probably don't want to cause anymore issues by going after her for the child but the woman might be ill, like bipolar or something. You need to make sure your child is with the right person mentally and emotionally. Your ex doesn't seem balanced in the head.

I believe there could be a better way to get around that. My daughter couldn't have asked for a better mum when she is in her elements. I trust her with the child and hope with time I could get to play a fatherly role without recourse to unnecessary litigation.

mcdokwe:
it is fools like you who go about creating problems in other people's relationships after all, you have been to America
Little wonder we get a handful of news about men killing their Nigerian wives. I do not owe you or anybody an explanation, like said earlier I didn't create this thread to paint her as evil but let her and others who might fall under the evil influence of people like you in the form of advice understand that it is not as bad as people make it to be. Those who know the parties involved who are also happily married understand those who advised her were in no mental or moral position to offer a workable advise just like you.

Because I consider her a friend and someone whose best interest I have at heart whether or not we end up together, I won't let you push me to divulge very personal details about our relationship because that would have defeated the essence of this post which obviously is lost on you and pass me off as one who is truly on the look out for sympathy. So swerve and continue fooling yourself in the name of living in America like you are the first

and the madness continues...

icedbeatz:
@babyosisi good day ma, I respect ur opinions about many other things on nairaland but this one I don't agree with at all...
what he means by saying he regrets is that he hates the fact that he raised a hand on a girl he loves so much, then she deserved it means that its her stupidity and barbaric attitude caused it.... by the way remember this good guy was pushed to the wall till he SNAPPED!!!!!! and when one snaps he loses all moral sense in him or her... I'm not saying its good to beat any lady but when a bitcch have blown the roof top or goes mad the guy should first try to be reasonable with her and calm the situation (which he did) but if it yields nothing good then by all means reset her brain with some azz whooping...
@babyosisi by the way how have you been?? I bet u won't try such thing with ur hubby, would u :-)

A good guy that goes for a a technical knock out after round one on a woman he supposedly loves?
I am glad the girl has responsible parents

dinachi:
So in essence you are saying that women are meant to push a man to the wall through verbal, emotional and physical abuse? And men are supposed to show self control and DIE of high Blood Pressure?
You must be a CLOWN!
Why can't women show self control? Or are you suggesting that women are inferior and therefore incapable of self control?

Dont mind all these female clowns that parade themselves on nairaland..I just read were someone said his gf hits and slaps him about 11 times when they get into an arguement, and the very day he couldnt take it any longer he hit her back and was labeled a beast..The lady that has been hitting all this while remains a saint. SMH.

They expect that a man should show self control meanwhile they are permitted not to have self control..thats just crazy.

Rose2014:
Lol. U gbadun him cos he's yelling at me abi

Issorai

Sister, no be so o.

Finally before I go prepare diner, no woman should cohabit with a man she's not married to even if they're seriously engaged. It makes the woman have a natural complex. It's worse when she's not bringing anything financially to the table. Everything the man does easily makes her act like an Agbero in maza maza motor park.
What I'm saying in essence is women should get very busy with productive things so they can have less time for friends/gossips. Same with men. Everyone needs to get busy. All these beat me I beat u are evidence of being idle minded

mcdokwe:
I believe there could be a better way to get around that. My daughter couldn't have asked for a better mum when she is in her elements. I trust her with the child and hope with time I could get to play a fatherly role without recourse to unnecessary litigation.

Speaking from experience, you waiting for time won't change the situation, unless you want to wait until your daughter is at an age where she just doesn't care who her father is then fine, that is your decision to make. When she is in her better elements? She should be a better mother constantly not when her jinn comes off her. Anyhow, it is up to you whether you want to be in your daughter's life from the start or midway through her life.

icedbeatz:
TOTALLY OUTTA CONTROL?? what do you think pushing one against the wall or SNAPPING IS?!?! let me reiterate honey he SNAPPED, LOST CONTROL, LOST HIS MORALS.... is that hard to comprehend?!?

doesn't he know how to walk away?!?!? didn't you read the story or understand it?! HE TRIED TO WALK AWAY BUT LOCKED THE DOOR AND ATTACKED HIM AND SMASHED HIS PHONE... honey I guess the ability to comprehend is sooo expensive

You should lend him your shoulders to cry upon rather than growl at me
This is perhaps his third thread on this issue and the girl is gone
Check his topics
He is hurting bad
Do you a woman for him

mcdokwe:
I was going to marry her immediately she took in but she said her dad was still very mad and can't entertain my presence, she it was that advised we take it slow.

Her being a good girl doesn't however extend to hauling unwarranted insults at me at will

so she has always been very insultive?

mcdokwe:
Having observed a lot of things, I have come to a plan to get married in 2years time. I felt it would be fun growing up with my kids. The issue of kids also came to play after having achild with my ex and discovered a lot of joy in parenting despite the ominous sacrifices. To be made.

It was painful watching her leave but my resolve remains unshaken.

So by my 30th birthday in 2017, I hope to be married. In between this period, I do hope to find someone to love, build a career path or establish a business to guarantee a steady income. So help me God.

Don't even ask me why I had to post this.

Cause the answer is obvious,
boredom

This is the Op on another thread looking for love
And still you haven't learned a thing

mcdokwe:
loving is not the problem...
Loving the wrong person right
Loving the right person at the wrong time
These are the problems

As I lay on the cold floor of the police cell, having just a dirty torn carton for bed, among common criminals, wishing that both morning and sleep comes fast, I just couldn't help to ponder on what they told me

guys are here because we were hustling, and you are telling a stupid story of being here because of love

How could I ever imagine I would spend my first night in detention just because I loved someone?

But that was my story...

No part of this story might be reproduced in any form without due consent from the author.

All rights reserved.

Akirika
Only one night?
Her parents are too kind

Kimoni:
The saddest part of it all is that the thread is full of cheerleaders urging him on and telling him exactly what he wants to hear.

Hopefully, he will be able to sift through the advices given to him and do some soul searching himself. He is going to kill somebody very soon if he continues to beat women like this whenever he thinks they "deserve" it.

the truth is I know when I am wrong and don't need anybody to tell me I am. In this case I might have a justification (her deserving it) I still feel guilty (the regret). Nothing I do or say can change the fact that I hit or plummeted her like others would have it. She isn't just any girl to me, she is the mother of my precious jewel and I really want to tell my sons not to hit a woman and brag that I never did (but I can't brag about that now) but I won't fail to tell my daughters and sister not to give any man a reason to hit them justified or not.

Dragonking:
Dont mind all these female clowns that parade themselves on nairaland..I just read were someone said his gf hits and slaps him about 11 times when they get into an arguement, and the very day he couldnt take it any longer he hit her back and was labeled a beast..The lady that has been hitting all this while remains a saint. SMH.

They expect that a man should show self control meanwhile they are permitted not to have self control..thats just crazy.

any lady that has these qualities or support these qualities is a lesser being

Owliver:
hahaha rose rose... No be so ooooh. One love

Karleb:


Sister, no be so o.

Oh ok

mcdokwe:
That Sunday had started just like any other day, I had been withdrawn for quite a while and spent most of my days indoors. I had been expecting Nkem and her Dad, I only wish they would come along with my little princess so I could have a chance to see her after such a long time.

I was engrossed in this state of mind when I heard a knock on my door and a voice informing me of their arrival, I impulsively asked if they brought my sweet daughter along, I got an answer in the affirmative and set to meet them.

I hurriedly did the room, took my bath and brushed my teeth.

I really missed Nkem and our daughter, it pained me so much why she would decide to leave after all we had been through together and the promises I believe our togetherness holds. I was finding it too difficult a pill to swallow, but knew that you don't force someone into staying with you when they want to leave, Dolly Parton's song when someone wants to leave had been my favourite whenever I thought about what was happening.

She had gone to the landlord's house with her father on arrival, and I knew it wouldn't take long before I am being summoned. I did occasionally peep through the window when it was taking too long for me to be summoned, it was during one of such moments that I saw the landlord alight from a motorcycle, and at that instant I knew why he had not sent for me earlier.

Ten minutes later, Chidi came knocking on my door, I wanted to appear ignorant and play cool, so I took my time before answering the door and subsequently proceeding to the landlord's apartment.

Akpuruka
His previous posts and threads are hilarious
I thank God for the parents of Nkem
Man pass man

mcdokwe:
I met Chisom drawing by a table in front the house and stopped by to question her for composure.
Nkem's father appeared through the door and made for the gate like someone who was in a hurry only to pass a glance towards my direction, muttering a response to my salutation, he spread a beckoning hand towards Nkem and guided her to himself like I was going to harm her by merely looking at her, she kept a straight face and hurriedly walked through the narrow passage dragging her footwear along. In her arm was my other love, a child we brought into the world and with promised dreams to give her the very best, she seemed to have grown a lot since I saw her last, I quickly recalled the last day I spent with her and a realisation of the phenomenonal stages of her life that I have missed swept through me.

Hehehehehe
Papa Nkem,a gi nwe aka a

sambisa5:
no one has said men don't deserve good wivies,,,,,,better still you can get a girl that you love so well, and you understood each other so well....she is well brought up and with all the good manners you can think of.......put her in your house ,,,,DON'T PAY HER PRIDE PRICE and let her be producing children for you like fowl......

The end will tell you,wether you are placed on a curse,,or a curse is place on you.

Lol!!!!! No curse anywere!!!! My friend, you better get rid of these superstition and free your mind from being enslaved by all these unnecessary norms: bride price, a child shouldn't drop from d back of her/his mother, bend down or goes on your knees to greet your elders and all these craps.

In the days of our progenitors, these measures were put in place to instill some morality, sense of entitlement/ownership to the bride and nothing more and of course to attach importance to d institution of marriage.

And I like I stated in my earlier post, I have seen many broken marriages after couple of months and I believed that bride prices were paid in those failed marriages. Y

There are load of guys like you out there who believed that things like bride price and some other trivial things could be d cause of disharmony in marriage. But i m here to tell you that u r wrong. Trust me on this, if a lady really want, care and love you for real, the least thing in her mind would be a bride price. All what would matters to her is your happiness.

Pls d moment a lady says that the reason she is getting upset with you or giving you problem at home is cos you have not been to her family to pay a bride price, my friend, u better think twice.

I was speaking to some friends few months back and they were bragging about how much their In-laws love them and all that but guess what I told them. I told them that they should give d credit to their wives cos their wives must have been a good PR of her family in the presence of her parents and siblings, otherwise........

If you are unfortunately married to a lady who believe in other things-bride price, material stuff over your happiness, the delivery of her PR job as a girlfriend or wife when she doesn't get what she wants would be really disastrous to your household. She ll bring u down in d presence of friends and her family and portray u as a bad person regardless of good things you have done for her. And that is why u see some husbands being disrespected by their In-laws.

dinachi:
It is only in self defense!

really? And I am Cleopatra

cococandy:
really? And I am Cleopatra

cococandy

babyosisi:
Akpuruka
His previous posts and threads are hilarious
I thank God for the parents of Nkem
Man pass man



Hehehehehe
Papa Nkem,a gi nwe aka a

I use to think you were mature,
oh well never judge a book by its cover.

GentleToks:
Pls and pls @all, don't ever believe that marriage should be managed like a secular companies. You all deserve the best after going thru that stressful primary education to tertiary institutions; searched for jobs in labour market for months and eventually got one. Pls don't entertain their idea of managing a wife, you all deserve the best and go for the best.

The least ting you deserve after stressful day at work is peaceful home but if you allow a bad lady to cajole u into marriage under d pretence of "Bride price", hmmm!!! I pity u and unborn children who ll grow up to see a miserable life.

Well Bro,

Women need This message more

They should not entertain the idea of managing a husband....

However hope you Don't mind divorce rates skyrocketing

Seems like the OP has a history of violence and not just mere misunderstandings with this girl. Obviously this is not the first time her parents and other people have mediated to bring peace between them. Even the way he described the father of the girl beckoning on her to move away from him as if he could hurt her by just looking at her, speaks volumes.

He's a good writer. I give that to him.

I like the way she left. Pretend like everything is OK and disappear when he least suspects.
Case settled.

babyosisi:
Akpuruka
His previous posts and threads are hilarious
I thank God for the parents of Nkem
Man pass man



Hehehehehe
Papa Nkem,a gi nwe aka a

Rose2014:
I greet u back sir
Dont u sense any bias in this your theory?

in which aspect, clarify pls.

bangleslover:
cococandy

what?

logica:
Psychotic females everywhere. I blame their fathers.

Their father's (men ) must have been terrible

Well well terrible men = terrible daughters

When We tell you guys to be responsible and reasonable, you don't listen

cococandy:
Seems like the OP has a history of violence and not just mere misunderstandings with this girl. Obviously this is not the first time her parents and other people have mediated to bring peace between them. Even the way he described the father of the girl beckoning on her to move away from him as if he could hurt her by just looking at her, speaks volumes.

He's a good writer. I give that to him.

I like the way she left. Pretend like everything is OK and disappear when he least suspects.
Case settled.

good thing I didn't finish the story leaving you and your likes with wandering imaginations and misguided insinuations.

cococandy:
what?

lol.....guess you remember me, you helped me with my thread months back.

my signature will remind you

Thanks again and just decided to greet.