21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage - Family (2)

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21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by moonnstar(f): 7:33pm On Mar 03, 2015

I no fit marry man where go do me all dis tinz,epecially cutting me off 4rm family n frnd.never

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by freecocoa(f): 7:37pm On Mar 03, 2015

Very good points.

Unfortunately some people will say, "he/she loves me hence the behavior"

2 Likes

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by StunnazJay(m): 7:38pm On Mar 03, 2015

This is the reason why I think society should reconsider its stance on marriage, because many couples are going into marriages ill-prepared to deal with marital issues.

Date yourselves as much as you can, don't be in a hurry to tie the knot because some dude just introduced you to so and so who is looking for a wife.

But now that you are married, I suggest she involves some of the elders who joined the union about the abuse.

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Vitaglyde: 7:38pm On Mar 03, 2015

This is something that should be discussed more widely

1 Like

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Obodo999(m): 8:05pm On Mar 03, 2015

Ishilove:

How any woman can take this shaitza is beyond me. Humiliating/embarasssing me?

Who told you its only women that suffer emotional abuse in Marriage.
Lots of men suffer it too. aibelt in silence.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Ewuro4: 8:07pm On Mar 03, 2015

Pamcrest:
Lool Op, then we are all abusers. Though I agree with some points, I think some are just sometimes reactions to an unpleasant situation. Take myself for e.g, when he hurts me, my initial reaction is a loaded silence. And it will persist till he realizes his mistake. That's not emotional abuse naa
My humble submission

My humble submission.

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:13pm On Mar 03, 2015

Pamcrest:
Lool Op, then we are all abusers. Though I agree with some points, I think some are just sometimes reactions to an unpleasant situation. Take myself for e.g, when he hurts me, my initial reaction is a loaded silence. And it will persist till he realizes his mistake. That's not emotional abuse naa
My humble submission

Your loaded silence is a reaction to his hurt.

He knows What is wrong and How to make amends.

If you go silent on him for no cause frequently, then that can. be termed abuse

2 Likes

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Ishilove: 8:15pm On Mar 03, 2015

Obodo999:

Who told you its only women that suffer emotional abuse in Marriage.
Lots of men suffer it too. aibelt in silence.

It's still terribly wrong and nobody should take it.

2 Likes

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by chival(f): 8:33pm On Mar 03, 2015

Sometimes, emotional abuse stems from the abuser's own insecurities and psychological issues which end up making him/her feel the need to put others down in order to feel better.

That said, I am a strong believer in prayer. There is NOTHING prayer cannot change.

2 Likes

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Nobody: 8:40pm On Mar 03, 2015

freecocoa:
Very good points.

Unfortunately some people will say, "he/she loves me hence the behavior"

that's foolishness.

2 Likes

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Nobody: 8:49pm On Mar 03, 2015

Babyosisi, my girlfriend has some of dis traits. Sebi dats enof warning signs not to marry her abi? shocked

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by anyaekekehinde(m): 9:22pm On Mar 03, 2015

All this things you listed is caused by lack of TRUST... ANY relationship i repeat ANY relationship that has trust issues will suffer from any one or more of this.

Build trust and it will all fade away.. trust starts from trusting in ones self before trusting the other partner

1 Like

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by blessedgreat(f): 9:32pm On Mar 03, 2015

Obodo999:

Who told you its only women that suffer emotional abuse in Marriage.
Lots of men suffer it too. aibelt in silence.

. Very very very true.

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by leggo: 9:40pm On Mar 03, 2015

babyosisi:

Sadly majority of abusers are men
Statistics ( like hips ) don't lie

. But the overt sexism in the world has rendered any man who reports abuse, a sissy. So stats like those are quite flimsy

1 Like

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by wigram: 9:49pm On Mar 03, 2015

[quote author=Chrystover post=31230254]^^
Yes, simple. Stay away from marriage. Its not the ultimate.
i hear

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Darteyyyy(m): 10:02pm On Mar 03, 2015

I almost dated this one girl that'll shout at me at every misunderstanding, lie, manipulate, change my dp to her pix, upload her pix on my instagram...

Cut the phone on me at every slight provocation, insult me if I do something and it's not going her way. Scan my chats and read every message and ping. First I thought she was just being girly and all...

Then I noticed how she treats one other guy with respect and all... Admiration and happiness...

No one told me before I parked her in one place and ran for dear life.

Now we're sworn enemies all because I've drawn the line and stopped every form of communication with her.

Tis not only men that abuse. Some women are grandmasters in this scheme.

Damnation to the abusers... Both men and women.

2 Likes

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Darteyyyy(m): 10:04pm On Mar 03, 2015

obongproff:
Babyosisi, my girlfriend has some of dis traits. Sebi dats enof warning signs not to marry her abi?

PROF, RUN NOW O... A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by PreciousBro: 10:50pm On Mar 03, 2015

As Far as I'm Concerned, The Only Abuse Men Are Often Guilty Of Is Physical, Men Tend To Endure a Whole Lot Such That It Doesn't Read On Records Hence No Statistics For Such.

If You Ask Me,I'd Say Men are The Victims When It Comes To Verbal Abuse Which Is a Spark For Being Depressed(Emotional)

That Non-Communication Is a Deadly Weapon, Women That Carry Such Trait To Me Should Be Avoided, Damn!! The True Definition Of The Term "Holy Serpent"

I've Had My Share Of Experience and I Know What/How It Feels Like To Be Emotionally Abused.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by PreciousBro: 10:58pm On Mar 03, 2015

There's Just Something Bad About Not Communicating,Not Letting One Know Your Mind/Thoughts as To Correcting Wrong.

Being Silent or Subconsciously Assuming What The Other Thinks Hence Solving Things Your Way Or Choosing What Suits You To Say Is Totally Wrong,Your Partner Deserves To Know How and Where and What Got You Mad,Don't Assume Telling Him Will Be This Or That, Tell It,Damn it!!

Don't Think For Me, and Don't be Dramatic With Your Over-zealous Boost Of Self Righteousness and Making The Other Feel as Though The Devil Should Take Lessons On being Bad From Him/Her.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Simplymeah: 9:22am On Mar 04, 2015

anyaekekehinde:
All this things you listed is caused by lack of TRUST... ANY relationship i repeat ANY relationship that has trust issues will suffer from any one or more of this.

Build trust and it will all fade away.. trust starts from trusting in ones self before trusting the other partner

But how can u TRUST wen u av evry reason not to...

1 Like

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Gabbyswit(f): 9:53am On Mar 04, 2015

Admit you are being abused: the first step in getting help, is to admit you really need on. Snap out of your self denial.

2. Talk to trusted people: most people who are abused find it extremely difficult to talk to anyone. They believe they should protect the abuser. When you talk you get a strong support group, who will help you through it all.

3. Work out an escape plan: remember you have just one purpose in mind getting out of the relationship. It will be a good thing if you really plan how you will go about it. A safe and secret place to stay, some extra cash, clothes and important toiletries.

4. Make your plan to leave a secret: if your abuser gets to find out you are about to get out of a relationship they will do everything within their powers to keep you. Make your plan to leave a secret.

5.If possible, have evidence of the abuse: you should have an evidence of the abuse, you could record the person when threatening you or take photographs in the case of physical and sexual abuse. It will help you if you want to take up the case legally.

Stay safe and away from abuse. You deserve to be happy.

MizMyColi:
Could you please proffer a way forward?

1 Like

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by joey2002: 10:07am On Mar 04, 2015

Chrystover:
^^
Yes, simple. Stay away from marriage. Its not the ultimate.

Sorry for you. You need serious therapy

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by MizMyColi(f): 10:12am On Mar 04, 2015

Gabbyswit:
Admit you are being abused: the first step in getting help, is to admit you really need on. Snap out of your self denial.

2. Talk to trusted people: most people who are abused find it extremely difficult to talk to anyone. They believe they should protect the abuser. When you talk you get a strong support group, who will help you through it all.

3. Work out an escape plan: remember you have just one purpose in mind getting out of the relationship. It will be a good thing if you really plan how you will go about it. A safe and secret place to stay, some extra cash, clothes and important toiletries.

4. Make your plan to leave a secret: if your abuser gets to find out you are about to get out of a relationship they will do everything within their powers to keep you. Make your plan to leave a secret.

5.If possible, have evidence of the abuse: you should have an evidence of the abuse, you could record the person when threatening you or take photographs in the case of physical and sexual abuse. It will help you if you want to take up the case legally.

Stay safe and away from abuse. You deserve to be happy.

Awwwmmmmm
Thanks.

I'm sure those who need this would find it very resourceful.
Thanks again.

1 Like

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Ryabcool(m): 3:20pm On Mar 04, 2015

Ishilove:

How any woman can take this shaitza is beyond me. Humiliating/embarasssing me?

women are the major emotional abusers in a marriage. Men are usually more inclined to physical abuse. Sometimes physical abuse might be as a result of being unable to bear the constant emotional abuse. None of them are good though and should be avoided by all means

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 21 Tell Tale Signs Of Emotional Abuse in marriage by Nobody: 1:37am On Apr 13, 2015

Darteyyyy:
I almost dated this one girl that'll shout at me at every misunderstanding, lie, manipulate, change my dp to her pix, upload her pix on my instagram...

Cut the phone on me at every slight provocation, insult me if I do something and it's not going her way. Scan my chats and read every message and ping. First I thought she was just being girly and all...

Then I noticed how she treats one other guy with respect and all... Admiration and happiness...

No one told me before I parked her in one place and ran for dear life.

Now we're sworn enemies all because I've drawn the line and stopped every form of communication with her.

Tis not only men that abuse. Some women are grandmasters in this scheme.

Damnation to the abusers... Both men and women.

Hmmm touching

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