Pls my people, is it proper for a housewife to ask her husband for a monthly allowance since she is not working yet? All my married sisters in the house, I need your advice.

I think its ok. I work but my husband gives me a monthly allowance to take care of the home, go to the market etc.

ekakids:

pls my people is it proper for a housewife to ask her husband for a monthly allawance since she is not working yet.all mymarried sisters in the house i need your advice

even when she starts working you are still expected to pay.

or would u prefer other men pay it for you sir?

it is your responsibility any responsible man would gladly give his wife allowance

oga oh, so if she isnt working and you don't give her an allowance other than grocery money, how would she take care of herself and buy the things she needs. If she needs sanitary pad for her monthly or need new underwear, would you prefer she come to you to ask for that or would you want her to give you a list of what she needs so you can get them for her. If she starts looking hagard now, you will be the first to complain about not looking the way she was before you married her. If you know what is good for you and you don't want any problems in your marriage, you better take care of your wife.

I work fulltime and still get allowance from my hubby, and its not like i even asked him for it. He pays for my hair to get done and my pedicure to be on point. I take care of whatever else i need and part of our bills with my paycheck.

its not that i dont get the monthly pay to stock up the house with food stuff,just that i feel i should be getting my own personal allawance

ekakids:

its not that i dont get the monthly pay to stock up the house with food stuff,just that i feel i should be getting my own personal allawance

I thought the husband posted the topic. If you are the wife, we are all on your side. Yes, you should be getting allowance for your own personal needs. If you don't how do you intend to take care of yourself e.g clothes, hair and other things women need to look good. Request for it otherwise, you need to get urself a job or ask him to give you some money to start a business so you can get some spending money from ur porfit  cos it seems your husband cannot take care of you.

ekakids:

its not that i dont get the monthly pay to stock up the house with food stuff,just that i feel i should be getting my own personal allawance

Ok sorry I thought you were the husband asking too! Sorry. Make a list of what you need each month - for both the house and for yourself - and ask him straight up for it. He should be taking care of you as his wife.

As a dude i agree that an allowance should be given to the Mrs monthly , whether she works or not. not only does it give you pride but the good Lord will also bless you abundantly

It looks like a prostitute service. Sad and pathetic.

michelin89:

It looks like a prostitute service. Sad and pathetic.

i disagree wholeheartedly. a man has to provide, all religions support this. which prostitutes get monthly allowance, na ur village that one dey happen?

I thought the poster was asking on her sisters' behalf ,the statement below got me confused.

ekakids:

its not that i dont get the monthly pay to stock up the house with food stuff,just that i feel i should be getting my own personal allawance

Anyway, I have a little problem with the phrase "demand for allowance"
What type of relationship is this?

me never will I give allowance to my wife,,we both work and spend our money based on our budget.we operate all the accounts we have.There is one we don't touch at all and we invest adequately for our future.basically we are approaching the stage where she would start staying with the kids at home,,and we have saved more than enough to start a business that would give her adequate time for the kids and family while I continue my with work.
She can,t sit at home doing nothing because of the way I have groomed her in this relationship,,I still have over 15 years to put into my job or even 20,,and God is helping us all the way.She is no doubt the proverbs 31 woman and I wish all women could be like her.

who made her a "housewife" ?
The hubby "ought" to make provisions for her without her demanding

ekakids:

its not that i dont get the monthly pay to stock up the house with food stuff,just that i feel i should be getting my own personal allawance

Add ur personal needs to the "monthly pay" he gives u.or get a job

While we are still asking for allowance, why not add salary, benefits and retirement package.

ifyalways:

who made her a "housewife" ?
The hubby "ought" to make provisions for her without her [i]demanding[/i]Add ur personal needs to the "monthly pay" he gives u.or get a job

why should any able bodied woman be at home demanding an allowance in 2009.
why can't she get off her madam behind and earn a living like a normal human being and stop begging for money like a small girl and then compalin when she's treated exactly like one.

$osisi:

why should any able bodied woman be at home demanding an allowance in 2009.
why can't she get off her madam behind and earn a living like a normal human being and stop begging for money like a small girl and then compalin when she's treated exactly like one.

Gbam!!

Osisi!! I am so glad women like you still exist.

$osisi:

why should any able bodied woman be at home demanding an allowance in 2009.
why can't she get off her madam behind and earn a living like a normal human being and stop begging for money like a small girl and then compalin when she's treated exactly like one.

And why not? If you have children and one person's salary is enough to care for the family why can't she stay home to raise the children? Even if there are no children and the husband is agreeable, I see why not.

REAL TRUTH:


She can,t sit at home doing nothing because of the way I have groomed her in this relationship. . .

Do you really mean this?

@ Poster
I work and I still get allowances from my husband; helps to teach responsibility. I wasn't getting it before as I felt I was an independent woman but he found other uses for his money including putting his extended family first. Now he will consider his responsibilities at home before being Father Xmas.

ladej:

i disagree wholeheartedly. a man has to provide, all religions support this. which prostitutes get monthly allowance, na ur village that one dey happen?

Prostitute get daily allowance.

On a serious note, it's still degrading and disgusting to me. Is he paying her for cleaning, cooking and screwing for him?

michelin89:

Prostitute get daily allowance.

On a serious note, it's still degrading and disgusting to me. Is he paying her for cleaning, cooking and screwing for him?

Obviously not.

But is she supposed to go to him to ask for every kobo she needs? If she wasn’t home, would he/they not pay for someone to look after the children? Though this is not even about payment for services rendered- don’t know the right words- but this is done out of love and caring for the other as well as a sense of pride in a man due to his ability to provide for his family. Surely even the bible says something about a man providing for his family? Even parents give their children pocket money.

Are you married? It’s easier to find it utterly disgusting/degrading when you are not. I used to as well, not any more.

Yes its proper for a wife to ask for allowance especially if she has given up her career to look after the children.

i can understand a person who is not working expecting some form of allowance, but for a working woman. . .perhaps i too should still be collecting alawi from my folks


it has already been stated, as long as you are financially dependent on a person, he/she will piss on you. its just human nature. all those advocating for stay at home moms should realize this. a man will always think twice about hitting cheating on or misbehaving in any other way, with a woman who has the fiscal means to tell him to go to hell


right now, in my office, one of my colleagues has more or less moved out of her husband's house. (the mans's jnr sis was beating up on her or some such and the man was more or less approving of the whole thing. she sits opposite me, so i get to hear the phone conversations etal) the man and so many people have been calling. if the woman was a housewife, na soso i jam staircase one would have been hearing every other day. those who will hear , let them hear, get a job! one of my uncles took a second wife some years back. the wife could do nada, as she was a pure housewife.

@Topic
You have to ask??!!!!

Na wa oh, all sorts of Orisirisi on Nairaland.

JJYOU:

even when she starts working you are still expected to pay.

or would u prefer other men pay it for you sir?

it is your responsibility any responsible man would gladly give his wife allowance

How do I love thee. . . let me count the ways

On a different note, I hate that word. . . allowance.

Allowance!

Allowance Ko, permissionance ni

Nonsense

oyb:

i can understand a person who is not working expecting some form of allowance, but for a working woman. . .perhaps i too should still be collecting alawi from my folks


it has already been stated, as long as you are financially dependent on a person, he/she will piss on you. its just human nature. all those advocating for stay at home moms should realize this. a man will always think twice about hitting cheating on or misbehaving in any other way, with a woman who has the fiscal means to tell him to go to hell


right now, in my office, one of my colleagues has more or less moved out of her husband's house. (the mans's jnr sis was beating up on her or some such and the man was more or less approving of the whole thing. she sits opposite me, so i get to hear the phone conversations etal) the man and so many people have been calling. if the woman was a housewife, na soso i jam staircase one would have been hearing every other day. those who will hear , let them hear, get a job! one of my uncles took a second wife some years back. the wife could do nada, as she was a pure housewife.

This has absolutely nothing to do with being a house wife or not. A man that wants to misbehave will do so regardless of how much money the wife puts on the table and so will a man that will abuse his wife or let his family do it for him.

@ poster
I believe the husband should know his responsibility and should know his wife needs money for upkeep. He should wait till she demands as u put it. That expression kind of like picture the marriage as an endurable one rather than an enjoyable one.

However, for the men who wants to be told everything, there is a way u can approach ur husband and talk it over. Make it personal and not official. God bless u!

@ post.

You should not have to demand it. I believe a responsible man should trust a responsible wife with all his money and vice versa since they are one and have the same goals.

My wife (who has a job) has two of my credits cards and my atm card.  She also has access to all my financial accounts. She never asked for the cards - she earned them. Cos i know she's either spending to take care of the house, my child or herself to look good and presentable. That way, she never has to ask me for money, although she tells me when she needs to do something major. We do not waste money. And when we want to send money to our extended families, we're both ok with it since we need them to be happy too.

it's all about the relationship you have.

My wife asked me for an allowance and i told her i couldn't afford it but i would rather she table her needs as they come so that i would solve them based on available resources. She got angry and refused to tell me her needs altogether except for pressing needs like making her hair, buying pads or recharge cards.

I don't have any problem with my wife coming to me every now and then asking me she needs this or that and i don't see any reason why she should not be able to tell me her needs.

After sometime, we had issues and she attributed it to my refusal to cater for her needs claiming that i should know when she has needs like changing her undies, buying her cream and toiletries or new clothes since we live in the same house.

At the end of the day, she decided to get a job and she is working now. I expect that since she is working and earning enough to meet her needs the problem is solved. But not at all. she's still calling me a wicked, mean and an 'akagum' of a man even though she doesn't contribute a dime of her income to the upkeep of the home.

Do we really understand wot an allowance is?
For me it like giving one pocket money.
From the topic, it is clearly stated that the wife is not working.
Why should I give her pocket money when I personally would rather prefer her working. Lets say her qualification cant take her into the corporate world then I will open a business for her. She has to learn how to make the money. I as a man know my responsibilities in the home, which by the grace of God I will not be found wanting in but until she makes effort to earn her own income, she might never appreaciate the value of my rising early and coming in late to provide for her. What if she wakes up one morning and the Lord has called me home, wot happens to her and the kids.

For those women who are married to real men & have agreed not to work but to look after the kids then they know they deserve a stipend/allowance/money/salary (call it whatever) money that is necessary to meet their personal obligations sanitary pads, perfume, roll on, pedicure, nails, hair etc

A woman should not be made to ask or demand for a reasonable sum in order to keep herself well groomed; no real man will subject his wife into such ordeal. If your wife is working then a certain percentage of her income (or the joint income) should be agreed by both of you to be used monthly for her upkeep without having to account to you. I don't think most men finds it OK having to account to their wives for every kobo they spend from their income so it should be vice versa.

Lol, allowance! Get a job ma'am! But if he's the one stopping you from getting a job, you have every right to demand for it.

Roughlen:

My wife asked me for an allowance and i told her i couldn't afford it but i would rather she table her needs as they come so that i would solve them based on available resources. She got angry and refused to tell me her needs altogether except for pressing needs like making her hair, buying pads or recharge cards.

I don't have any problem with my wife coming to me every now and then asking me she needs this or that and i don't see any reason why she should not be able to tell me her needs.

After sometime, we had issues and she attributed it to my refusal to cater for her needs claiming that i should know when she has needs like changing her undies, buying her cream and toiletries or new clothes since we live in the same house.

At the end of the day, she decided to get a job and she is working now. I expect that since she is working and earning enough to meet her needs the problem is solved. But
not at all. she's still calling me a wicked, mean and an 'akagum' of a man even though she doesn't contribute a dime of her income to the upkeep of the home.

Lol,

my wife tabulates what she needs every month and collects the money and then collect her salary! all from me! house is it proper?

oyb:

i can understand a person who is not working expecting some form of allowance, but for a working woman. . .perhaps i too should still be collecting alawi from my folks


it has already been stated, as long as you are financially dependent on a person, he/she will piss on you. its just human nature. all those advocating for stay at home moms should realize this. a man will always think twice about hitting cheating on or misbehaving in any other way, with a woman who has the fiscal means to tell him to go to hell


right now, in my office, one of my colleagues has more or less moved out of her husband's house. (the mans's jnr sis was beating up on her or some such and the man was more or less approving of the whole thing. she sits opposite me, so i get to hear the phone conversations etal) the man and so many people have been calling. if the woman was a housewife, na soso i jam staircase one would have been hearing every other day. those who will hear , let them hear, get a job! one of my uncles took a second wife some years back. the wife could do nada, as she was a pure housewife.

I could kiss you.
Unless there's an ill child that requires the mother's care or the woman herself has some terminal illness, no woman should be a fulltime housewife.
I don't care how much the man makes
she should gerrout there and get a J.O.B even if part time
she needs to earn her own money.
That's the only way she'll be seen as partner in the marriage, moreover she gets to appreciate the value of money rather than demanding money like it grows on trees.
With the high rate of divorce,infidelity and abuse in marriage why would any woman with a brain put herself in this  precarious position

a housewife do not need to demand allowance from a RESPONSIBLE man.
it is natural for a man to give his wife allowances for the upkeep of the house and other micellaneous and for a full time housewife she need a personal allowance. .