₦airaland Forum

Renylee:
First of, I'd sit her down and ask her why she agreed to marry me. This is pure undiluted nonsense. If I were a man, I would never take this from any woman. The woman is lucky.. If she was in the man's shoes now, she'd be screaming 'my husband us cheating on me'.... Nonsense

my dear I blame d man for everytin. Most men r blinded n controlled by physical beauty of women. I'm sure he chosed not to notice these bad bhaviors frm d woman b4 marriage. Any woman who gives u set of rules durin courtship sure has a lot of rules for u in marriage. #nonsense man
And somebody expects me to spend millions to marry/inherit dis kind of wahala

saasala:
Do you think I was mad when I said I wouldnt get married? A man stands to gain nothing from marriage. You lose your freedom. She nags you to hell. You live your entire life to satisfy a woman. She suddenly hates sex, loses her pristine beauty and becomes a fat pig with saggy booobs and tasteless asss, your jokes are no longer funny to her, she doesnt like to go out for fun any more, she now hates picnics and the cinema. You can get more than enough what you tend to gain in marriage by remaining single: Free sex, free movement, you can even have a baby mama if you are so crazy about having a child, plus nobody will call you oloriburuku for being single unlike the females. Guys, dont get married. Think well before you cross that rubicon. Seun Osewa has known these facts hence his decision to remain single (Well, I guess). Why get married when you will end up losing your happiness, and probably divorce. As for me and my head, ama stay single for life ni o...and I dont even give a hoot about having kids. This life is messed up already, why bring another innocent child to participate in it. Think Brothers.

Iseeeeee!!!!!

Please keep to that promise and don't let anyone pressure you out of it
I would hate to see a woman and children go through hell

kajadans:
no wonder

no wonder what?

This is what happen when we human do nt ask for GOD's help when getting marriage, @op please tell that man to invite HIM into his home and every thing wil be ok.

saasala:
Do you think I was mad when I said I wouldnt get married? A man stands to gain nothing from marriage. You lose your freedom. She nags you to hell. You live your entire life to satisfy a woman. She suddenly hates sex, loses her pristine beauty and becomes a fat pig with saggy booobs and tasteless asss, your jokes are no longer funny to her, she doesnt like to go out for fun any more, she now hates picnics and the cinema. You can get more than enough what you tend to gain in marriage by remaining single: Free sex, free movement, you can even have a baby mama if you are so crazy about having a child, plus nobody will call you oloriburuku for being single unlike the females. Guys, dont get married. Think well before you cross that rubicon. Seun Osewa has known these facts hence his decision to remain single (Well, I guess). Why get married when you will end up losing your happiness, and probably divorce. As for me and my head, ama stay single for life ni o...and I dont even give a hoot about having kids. This life is messed up already, why bring another innocent child to participate in it. Think Brothers.

dis one na mental case!

5minsmadness:
This couple have been married for three years and have two kids. The man met his wife at his workplace during which time she had just finished nysc. They got to know each other better and soon they became a couple and got married. The man helped her get a job at his place of work but noticed she didn't mention his help to her parents, making it look as if she got the job herself. However he overlooked it thinking it was no big deal.

Recently however he has come to realise that his wife doesn't love him. He feels this way because she never acknowledges his good deeds around the house, is never willing to listen to any advice he has to give but rather takes her friend's advice over his. Most times he asks for sex she says she is tired or in her period or that they should postpone it to the next day And when the next say reaches she pretends to forget. If the man insists it turns into a big fight and they don't talk for days.

The man decided to be helping her around the house in case housework was overwhelming her as they don't have a nanny. He washes the clothes, picks the kids from school, cooks food for the kids and feeds them when she comes late from work and he is the one at home. Despite all this it seems he is making no headway as their sex life has not improved. The man decided to stop asking for sex but the wife didn't even notice.
She rarely serves him his food properly. He comes from a traditional family where the woman serves the man food as soon as he comes back from work. She says she was not brought up that way and starts cooking the food when the man comes home. He decided to be understanding and accepted to wait. But he finds if he doesn't remind her, she doesn't near the kitchen to cook for him. He had now resorted to serving himself when he gets home, thinking his wife will get the message but she is comfortable with it.

He feels the wife no longer has feelings for him and left for him would have divorced her long ago, but he doesn't believe in divorce. Also he is worried about the kids and how it will affect them if they separate.


Pls advice needed.

So a man helps around the house and expects to be thanked and worshiped for what the woman does daily without thanks
She didn't tell her parents you got her a job?
This man is so petty
What does serving his food properly mean?
She is not serving it on her knees?
Some men will not pamper a wife or show her love,won't even buy ordinary birthday card then and at night he wants to whip out his pinis
It doesn't work that way nna
Love is 90% emotional and 10% physical especially for women so he should ask himself why his wife has disconnected sotay his blokoss is now an eyesore
I don't see any issues here o
What I see is a nagging man who is not taking the time to attend and connect to meet his wife's emotional needs
Attend to her emotional needs,and keep your pettiness in check and you will have the woman you desire

Sincerely speaking, the man is a disgrace to manhood!

I can't tolerate such nonsense from a woman, just imagine?

a woman is fragile by looks but very ruthless in the inside, once women start an atitiude, they have started and they dont stop, ur wife dosent find the marriage interesting again, for her own reasons,and her love for you have faded badly, she will now start torturing you for the rest of ur life, so stop trying to please a stone, save urs in time, at least seperate for some time,stay apart,in that way you two have some time to reinvigorate and see wether there is any last solution for the problem..but honestly speaking, the days of that marriage is numbered..

grandstar:
is the wife circumcised? many circumcised ladies hate sex has they have n clitoris

I think it was lust at first site and not love

Now they are married, what should he do?

We, he should first investigate whether the wife is cheating

if not, then stage 2

He should analyse himself Are there things I do that cut her off? He should talk with friends

If none,u r not worthy of the wife's cod behavior, then its stage 3

he should ca the wife and have a heart t heart discussion with her If it yields nothing

Stage 4

Call her parents and discuss her behavior with her especially the sex part, if that makes no long term headway, then he is stuck with her sorry

Posterity will be kind t him Even the kids will admit he tried

Why did your friend marry her? The fault lies entirely with him marriage is for better or for worse

By the way, no more kids

thanks for your reply.
he has discussed with her numerous times, the last time was after their last kid when she denied him sex for several months with the excuse that she was still in pains following delivery (she had a cut), he later called her aside and asked if there was anything he had done wrong as he had asked his married friends around and none of them said thier wives starved them of sex for 3months due to pain. He even offered to take her to the hospital but she refused. she apologised and said she would be better. she became more sexual for a while but soon she fell back to her old ways. right now the guy doesnt ask for sex unless she approaches him but instead satisfies himself with porn. He didnt have any qualms telling me all his issues cos he said he wants to make sure he has done all he can before he takes the next step.

he wanted to report to the mum but she said she would change that he shouldn't embarrass her. her dad and mum have been separated since they were little so the dad has little or no say in the matter.

i dont think she is circumcised. i will ask him.

Timbuktou:
Sadly, your friend is trying to negotiate attraction which will only lead to more disinterest from his wife. I'm afraid, he only ever was a means to an end. If he likes, he can do all her office work and housework for her, she'll instead lose more interest in him and use the spare time to be shagging some jobless dude somewhere. I might come back later with help for him.

ok

she has a lover out there, the earlier he realises this fact the better for him.nobody likes divorce but sometimes menh it becomes the only option you have, life is too short for all these .

elantraceey:
You took the words out of my mouth


Mttthheewww

u cn imagine wat we going tru in d hands of u ladies.

babyosisi:
So a man helps around the house and expects to be thanked and worshiped for what the woman does daily without thanks
She didn't tell her parents you got her a job?
This man is so petty
What does serving his food properly mean?
She is not serving it on her knees?
Some men will not pamper a wife or show her love,won't even buy ordinary birthday card then and at night he wants to whip out his pinis
It doesn't work that way nna
Love is 90% emotional and 10% physical especially for women so he should ask himself why his wife has disconnected sotay his blokoss is now an eyesore
I don't see any issues here o
What I see is a nagging man who is not taking the time to attend and connect to meet his wife's emotional needs
Attend to her emotional needs,and keep your pettiness in check and you will have the woman you desire

u deserve two hot slap! Just two!

safarigirl:
OP this your story sha....

If he doesn't believe in divorce, he should have an extrta-marital affair. Some women like taking good men for granted. She never see anything, na the guy dey dull

The same office he found her, there are many women waiting to take her place, if she can't see the good man she has, he should make her see it. He may even find a woman that truly loves him in the process instead of wasting time with the current occupant (no be wife she be)

Some women deserve to be cheated on, even Jay-Z cheats on Beyonce so wetin the woman dey form? If she too do, she won't even have a husband to form for soon enough

nyc 1 and nyc dp as wel.

@Post

The husband and wife should sit down and have a one-on-one discussion and iron out their differences. If they tell una make una no marry una no go gree. Now some of you come here to disturb us with your marital problems! Did we send you to go and get married? mtshew!

pbs4real:
u cn imagine wat we going tru in d hands of u ladies.

Not all ladies are like that.

5minsmadness:
ok

modified my post already

5minsmadness:
thanks for your reply.
he has discussed with her numerous times, the last time was after their last kid when she denied him sex for several months with the excuse that she was still in pains following delivery (she had a cut), he later called her aside and asked if there was anything he had done wrong as he had asked his married friends around and none of them said thier wives starved them of sex for 3months due to pain. He even offered to take her to the hospital but she refused. she apologised and said she would be better. she became more sexual for a while but soon she fell back to her old ways. right now the guy doesnt ask for sex unless she approaches him but instead satisfies himself with porn. He didnt have any qualms telling me all his issues cos he said he wants to make sure he has done all he can before he takes the next step.

he wanted to report to the mum but she said she would change that he shouldn't embarrass her. her dad and mum have been separated since they were little so the dad has little or no say in the matter.

i dont think she is circumcised. i will ask him.

Nna check yaself
A toad doesn't t run in the afternoon for nothing
If a wife refuses a man for three months there must be done thing he isn't doing right
Check yaself well well

Timbuktou:
Like I said earlier, the guy was always only a means to an end, in this case the end is the woman's comfort and financial security. We know this guy has no other value apart from laying golden eggs as far as this woman is concerned. We can tell from her lack of appreciation of his efforts from the beginning till date.

Unfortunately, your friend unwittingly enslaved himself to this woman, and while he thinks he's being a "responsible" man he's only a cash cow.

Now, to the issue of no sex: I'm afraid she never really felt sexually attracted to him and only apportioned puscy to secure her financial future, which she has sealed by having kids for this fella. I guarantee you, if a woman wants to straff she will straff even after breaking rocks all day; have you not heard of babes going from PH to Nassarawa to go and collect the D? Do you know how long the journey from PH to Nass is? No amount of communication will make her release that yansh my brother. In fact, the more the communication, the more secure the lock to her honey pot. Your friend now spoilt everything by doing chores to avail her free time to straff, smfh, he will soon have to resign just so he can score some at home. This one is American wonder o; bearing in mind she's not as cute and cuddly as she once was. That fella is paying Range Rover money for a Volks Beetle.

SOLUTION?:

1. Your friend should stop all those rubbish dish-washing and toilet-scrubbing he's doing. If the housework wan kill am make she die.

2. He must stop asking for sexx from this woman. No respectable man requests for sexx, especially not from his wife.

3. He should get a hobby that makes him come home later than usual.

4. He must get a side chick.

5. After 3 months of this little little adjustments to his lifestyle, he should makes moves to copulate with wifey. If she continues on this path, ignore her for another 3 months. Meanwhile, if she does make moves for sexx let her know it will not happen because you are not interested. She should begin to get the idea that her arze has lost its potency and value.

Caveat: The process to gaining his manhood in that home is going to be long and ardous process and will be an everyday fight. It could well take years to reclaim his headship and my list is not exhaustive, not by a long shot. You guys can reach me for further consultation:

Noted!

saasala:
Seun Osewa has known these facts hence his decision to remain single (Well, I guess). Why get married when you will end up losing your happiness, and probably divorce. As for me and my head, ama stay single for life ni o...and I dont even give a hoot about having kids. This life is messed up already, why bring another innocent child to participate in it. Think Brothers.

What? I've made no such decision! I have seen some good marriages so I know that marriage can be beneficial and pleasant. I have also heard and read about bad ones. You have to marry the right person; someone whose life goals, decision-making style, communication style, religious views, views on the role of each partner in marriage, sex drive, etc are compatible with yours. And you also have to acquire some qualities that every marital partner needs to have e.g. maturity & diplomacy. The decision to marry must be based on serious thoughtful calculations. Personally I'm a bit conflicted about the purpose of marriage. Is it just to raise kids in a healthy environment, or is there more to it?

You believe it's very important for your wife to remain equally slim and fit and sexually active after marriage? Marry a fitness fanatic who is also a nyphomaniac. Problem solved. You want your wife to continue to laugh at your jokes after marriage? Marry a woman who actually shares your sense of humour. In other words, a friend. You want your wife to enjoy going out after marriage? Marry someone who loves going out as much as you do, and don't try to stop her from hiring a maid to take care of the housework while she's gone, because someone has to do it.

I have no problem with marriage because I've seen good marriages but it is better not to get married until you've surely found the right person.

But for the fact that fornication is a sin to hell with marriage.

Ladies who misbehave in their marriage for no justifiable reasons are so dumb because if they are thrown out they should never think men will place so much value on them.

There are too many fresh unmarried ladies looking for guys to marry so why should the married ones hop out of their marriage to start hoping for a fresh guy.

I pity this guy.

alright babyosisi how should he check himself? be specific.
Av guyishly asked him if he maybe cheated on her and she found out, he said no, he has been faithful from day one except the porn which he is trying to stop. This guy cooks food sometimes, washes clothes and even irons it for the wife all to please her. i thought it is the kind of thing you feminist ladies like? god knows if it was me I would have thrown her from the window by now, but this guy is a genuine nice guy, well known at the office and at home. what do you think is making the lady behave this way? i want to hear "you people's" point of view.

babyosisi:
Nna check yaself
A toad doesn't t run in the afternoon for nothing
If a wife refuses a man for three months there must be done thing he isn't doing right
Check yaself well well

babyosisi:
Nna check yaself
A toad doesn't t run in the afternoon for nothing
If a wife refuses a man for three months there must be done thing he isn't doing right
Check yaself well well

I think there is lack of communication btween them.

This is why I hate introverts. Speak out your grieviances and stop acting cynical.

Seun:
What? I've made no such decision! I have seen some good marriages so I know that marriage can be beneficial and pleasant. I have also heard and read about bad ones. You have to marry the right person; someone whose life goals, decision-making style, communication style, religious views, views on the role of each partner in marriage, sex drive, etc are compatible with yours. And you also have to acquire some qualities that every marital partner needs to have e.g. maturity & diplomacy. The decision to marry must be based on serious thoughtful calculations. Personally I'm a bit conflicted about the purpose of marriage. Is it just to raise kids in a healthy environment, or is there more to it?

You believe it's very important for your wife to remain equally slim and fit and sexually active after marriage? Marry a fitness fanatic who is also a nyphomaniac. Problem solved. You want your wife to continue to laugh at your jokes after marriage? Marry a woman who actually shares your sense of humour. In other words, a friend. You want your wife to enjoy going out after marriage? Marry someone who loves going out as much as you do, and don't try to stop her from hiring a maid to take care of the housework while she's gone, because someone has to do it.

I have no problem with marriage because I've seen good marriages but it is better not to get married until you've surely found the right person.

Such wisdom
Some people want to plant ewedu and harvest mango from the same plant
The same mindset that will make a man chase out a wife that bore him only girls forgetting the chromosome that determined the gender came from him.
If you interview this wife being vilified here,you will hear an earful
Sometimes a man will wash a few dishes once a month and call it helping
Women will practically worship a husband that helps around the house
This one the wife is running at the sight of his ojolima speaks volumes
He should check himself

safarigirl:
OP this your story sha....

If he doesn't believe in divorce, he should have an extrta-marital affair. Some women like taking good men for granted. She never see anything, na the guy dey dull

The same office he found her, there are many women waiting to take her place, if she can't see the good man she has, he should make her see it. He may even find a woman that truly loves him in the process instead of wasting time with the current occupant (no be wife she be)

Some women deserve to be cheated on, even Jay-Z cheats on Beyonce so wetin the woman dey form? If she too do, she won't even have a husband to form for soon enough

its very possible that she's playing the away game sef. This is what good men normally gain from most women. They see their husbands as people that can not hurt a fly. And once they find out that they can trust such men, they will start misbehaving and messing around.

This man has time for rubbish. I dnt like divorce but I wnt put up with a bullshit character.the man has tried enough.let them go for counseling n if she dsn change, send her away.

I seriously doubt if the children she bore belong to the husband!

If the story is true, then I'll say there has never been "love" in that house!

Almighty Father kindly protect Your children from the hands of "evil women"! (Amen)!

Seun:
What? I've made no such decision! I have seen some good marriages so I know that marriage can be beneficial and pleasant. I have also heard and read about bad ones. You have to marry the right person; someone whose life goals, decision-making style, communication style, religious views, views on the role of each partner in marriage, sex drive, etc are compatible with yours. And you also have to acquire some qualities that every marital partner needs to have e.g. maturity & diplomacy. The decision to marry must be based on serious thoughtful calculations. Personally I'm a bit conflicted about the purpose of marriage. Is it just to raise kids in a healthy environment, or is there more to it?

You believe it's very important for your wife to remain equally slim and fit and sexually active after marriage? Marry a fitness fanatic who is also a nyphomaniac. Problem solved. You want your wife to continue to laugh at your jokes after marriage? Marry a woman who actually shares your sense of humour. In other words, a friend. You want your wife to enjoy going out after marriage? Marry someone who loves going out as much as you do, and don't try to stop her from hiring a maid to take care of the housework while she's gone, because someone has to do it.

I have no problem with marriage because I've seen good marriages but it is better not to get married until you've surely found the right person.

like tonto dikeh right :p

5minsmadness:
alright babyosisi how should he check himself? be specific.
Av guyishly asked him if he maybe cheated on her and she found out, he said no, he has been faithful from day one except the porn which he is trying to stop. This guy cooks food sometimes, washes clothes and even irons it for the wife all to please her. i thought it is the kind of thing you feminist ladies like? god knows if it was me I would have thrown her from the window by now, but this guy is a genuine nice guy, well known at the office and at home. what do you think is making the lady behave this way? i want to hear "you people's" point of view.

f

If you are a man reading this please get this fact here and now

98% of ladies hate good guys and the 2% who does appreciate good guys must have learnt their lessons.

Most ladies deserve to be treated like poop and that will make them love you the more but be mr nice and she will take u for granted.

I'm not saying beat her up or be cruel to her nvertheless most of them deserves bad guys.

If the story is true then the guy shoulld sit her ass down and discuss with her and if he has some shortcomings he should adjust else he should simply move on with his life cos life is too short to be in a prison in the name of marriage.

emilyone:
Its so obvious that woman is tired of the marriage

They are no longer married couple but flat mates

very funny but I will suggest the man first validate the paternity of the kids then if genuine it means the marriage is passing through a phase. Its own phase. It takes a MAN to marry because due to side attractions either can lose focus. He should not cheat on his wife but love her more and pray hard for his home to overcome this phase. Every sweet marriage has a story to tell but it depends on the Speaker

5minsmadness:
alright babyosisi how should he check himself? be specific.
Av guyishly asked him if he maybe cheated on her and she found out, he said no, he has been faithful from day one except the porn which he is trying to stop. This guy cooks food sometimes, washes clothes and even irons it for the wife all to please her. i thought it is the kind of thing you feminist ladies like? god knows if it was me I would have thrown her from the window by now, but this guy is a genuine nice guy, well known at the office and at home. what do you think is making the lady behave this way? i want to hear "you people's" point of view.

Do you know what I will advise since you are friends with them
Call the wife aside if you are that close or have a female close to her call her aside and ask what the issue is
You will be shocked at what you will hear
The man is just telling you what he wants you to hear and that's why it's shocking to you because it doesn't make sense
It doesn't make sense because the story is incomplete.
Go and hear from her them come and tell us
I promise you will Come out with a different perspective

Toks2008:
I think there is lack of communication btween them.

This is why I hate introverts. Speak out your grieviances and stop acting cynical.

The problem isn't lack of communication, the woman knows exactly what she's doing, trying to always talk about it, will make the man look more desperate and end up empowering her.

The woman didn't get tired of the marriage either, this was her plan from day one. And yes, the woman is cheating, and it is not due to the man's fault. The woman waged a psychological warfare on the man from day one of the marriage.

One reality we need to face is that the marriage might be irredeemable. The woman might actually not be his true wife.

If we dig deep, I am 100% certain that the wife in question would have suffered trauma, abandonment or abuse as a little child and his acting out in attack as a subconscious protective mechanism against the man.

There is little the man can do about her, her problem and solution lies within her, not externally, so let the man try as best to ignore and live his life. Show her he is not concerned, that will in the short term grab her attention but in the long term, my instinct tells me the man is in for hell