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She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. - Family - Nairaland

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She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by 5minsmadness: 2:34pm On Mar 14, 2015
This couple have been married for three years and have two kids. The man met his wife at his workplace during which time she had just finished nysc. They got to know each other better and soon they became a couple and got married. The man helped her get a job at his place of work but noticed she didn't mention his help to her parents, making it look as if she got the job herself. However he overlooked it thinking it was no big deal.

Recently however he has come to realise that his wife doesn't love him. He feels this way because she never acknowledges his good deeds around the house, is never willing to listen to any advice he has to give but rather takes her friend's advice over his. Most times he asks for sex she says she is tired or in her period or that they should postpone it to the next day And when the next say reaches she pretends to forget. If the man insists it turns into a big fight and they don't talk for days.

The man decided to be helping her around the house in case housework was overwhelming her as they don't have a nanny. He washes the clothes, picks the kids from school, cooks food for the kids and feeds them when she comes late from work and he is the one at home. Despite all this it seems he is making no headway as their sex life has not improved. The man decided to stop asking for sex but the wife didn't even notice.
She rarely serves him his food properly. He comes from a traditional family where the woman serves the man food as soon as he comes back from work. She says she was not brought up that way and starts cooking the food when the man comes home. He decided to be understanding and accepted to wait. But he finds if he doesn't remind her, she doesn't near the kitchen to cook for him. He had now resorted to serving himself when he gets home, thinking his wife will get the message but she is comfortable with it.

He feels the wife no longer has feelings for him and left for him would have divorced her long ago, but he doesn't believe in divorce. Also he is worried about the kids and how it will affect them if they separate.


Pls advice needed.

7 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by adanduka: 2:59pm On Mar 14, 2015
5minsmadness:
This couple have been married for three years and have two kids. The man met his wife at his workplace during which time she had just finished nysc. They got to know each other better and soon they became a couple and got married. The man helped her get a job at his place of work but noticed she didn't mention his help to her parents, making it look as if she got the job herself. However he overlooked it thinking it was no big deal.

Recently however he has come to realise that his wife doesn't love him. He feels this way because she never acknowledges his good deeds around the house, is never willing to listen to any advice he has to give but rather takes her friend's advice over his. Most times he asks for sex she says she is tired or in her period or that they should postpone it to the next day And when the next say reaches she pretends to forget. If the man insists it turns into a big fight and they don't talk for days.

The man decided to be helping her around the house in case housework was overwhelming her as they don't have a nanny. He washes the clothes, picks the kids from school, cooks food for the kids and feeds them when she comes late from work and he is the one at home. Despite all this it seems he is making no headway as their sex life has not improved. The man decided to stop asking for sex but the wife didn't even notice.
She rarely serves him his food properly. He comes from a traditional family where the woman serves the man food as soon as he comes back from work. She says she was not brought up that way and starts cooking the food when the man comes home. He decided to be understanding and accepted to wait. But he finds if he doesn't remind her, she doesn't near the kitchen to cook for him. He had now resorted to serving himself when he gets home, thinking his wife will get the message but she is comfortable with it.

He feels the wife no longer has feelings for him and left for him would have divorced her long ago, but he doesn't believe in divorce. Also he is worried about the kids and how it will affect them if they separate.


Pls advice needed.

Looks like both couples feel the other spouse doesn't love them and they've started acting up.
I suggest you go for professional counselling. If you have not been paying attention to her needs she may be able to talk to someone who really cares to know.
Divorce is never the solution. You may move on to a worse person.

15 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Nobody: 3:04pm On Mar 14, 2015
I have always loved polygamy as a traditional man, I don't know about u? Yes u reading this

36 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Nobody: 3:14pm On Mar 14, 2015
First of, I'd sit her down and ask her why she agreed to marry me. This is pure undiluted nonsense. If I were a man, I would never take this from any woman. The woman is lucky.. If she was in the man's shoes now, she'd be screaming 'my husband is cheating on me'.... Nonsense

73 Likes 5 Shares

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by DeCritique(m): 3:14pm On Mar 14, 2015
Nothing to say for now... Lemme join the "Reading the comments crew" with my popcorn

1 Like

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by iceberylin(m): 3:14pm On Mar 14, 2015
Its easy.....



Get another wife . grin

4 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by aristocrazzy: 3:15pm On Mar 14, 2015
That one na their cup of tea.

1 Like

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Babaneh(m): 3:17pm On Mar 14, 2015
I think u two should come up with whatever pleases u...

Don't ask us brain teasing questions... mtcheeeeeeeeew
Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by adesewa4uyahoo(f): 3:17pm On Mar 14, 2015
Toh.... God help them..this one love is not available on their network make them Sha no kill each other later.... O wa risky fa

2 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by canalily(m): 3:17pm On Mar 14, 2015
I better go for divorce and hav my peace...angryis it imprisonment?

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by tiamiyukunle69(m): 3:17pm On Mar 14, 2015
Let him sit his wife down and talk to her
Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by quivah(f): 3:17pm On Mar 14, 2015
I believe the op is a Christian, divorce isn't an option neither is polygamy nor infidelity.. okk..
its left to you to endure, talk it out, or accept things the way they are cheesy
but its better to walk out of this sham cause sooner or later the woman will break it off after leaving you in pieces..


waiting for the , pray, wear red boxer, buy gifts crew cheesy cheesy

3 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Gaucho(m): 3:18pm On Mar 14, 2015
Its a common phenomenon nowadays. They guy should find himself another woman,and wait for her to be caught in the act before sending her away. The kids will live their lives.

9 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by saasala(m): 3:19pm On Mar 14, 2015
Do you think I was mad when I said I wouldnt get married? A man stands to gain nothing from marriage. You lose your freedom. She nags you to hell. You live your entire life to satisfy a woman. She suddenly hates sex, loses her pristine beauty and becomes a fat pig with saggy booobs and tasteless asss, your jokes are no longer funny to her, she doesnt like to go out for fun any more, she now hates picnics and the cinema. You can get more than enough what you tend to gain in marriage by remaining single: Free sex, free movement, you can even have a baby mama if you are so crazy about having a child, plus nobody will call you oloriburuku for being single unlike the females. Guys, dont get married. Think well before you cross that rubicon. Seun Osewa has known these facts hence his decision to remain single (Well, I guess). Why get married when you will end up losing your happiness, and probably divorce. As for me and my head, ama stay single for life ni o...and I dont even give a hoot about having kids. This life is messed up already, why bring another innocent child to participate in it. Think Brothers.

39 Likes 4 Shares

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by elantraceey(f): 3:19pm On Mar 14, 2015
Renylee:
First of, I'd sit her down and ask her why she agreed to marry me. This is pure undiluted nonsense. If I were a man, I would never take this from any woman. The woman is lucky.. If she was in the man's shoes now, she'd be screaming 'my husband us cheating on me'.... Nonsense


You took the words out of my mouth angry


Mttthheewww

1 Like

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Dyt(f): 3:19pm On Mar 14, 2015
Just a little shake up they will realise how much love they share

6 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by demmy0325(m): 3:19pm On Mar 14, 2015
..
Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by safarigirl(f): 3:19pm On Mar 14, 2015
OP this your story sha....

If he doesn't believe in divorce, he should have an extrta-marital affair. Some women like taking good men for granted. She never see anything, na the guy dey dull

The same office he found her, there are many women waiting to take her place, if she can't see the good man she has, he should make her see it. He may even find a woman that truly loves him in the process instead of wasting time with the current occupant (no be wife she be)

Some women deserve to be cheated on, even Jay-Z cheats on Beyonce so wetin the woman dey form? If she too do, she won't even have a husband to form for soon enough

16 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by emilyone(f): 3:20pm On Mar 14, 2015
Its so obvious that woman is tired of the marriage

They are no longer married couple but flat mates grin

8 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by SAMBARRY: 3:20pm On Mar 14, 2015
iceberylin:
Its easy.....



Get another wife . grin
another bush meat grin

1 Like

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by grandstar(m): 3:21pm On Mar 14, 2015
is the wife circumcised? many circumcised ladies hate sex has they have n clitoris

I think it was lust at first site and not love

Now they are married, what should he do?

We, he should first investigate whether the wife is cheating

if not, then stage 2

He should analyse himself Are there things I do that cut her off? He should talk with friends

If none,u r not worthy of the wife's cod behavior, then its stage 3

he should ca the wife and have a heart t heart discussion with her If it yields nothing

Stage 4

Call her parents and discuss her behavior with her especially the sex part, if that makes no long term headway, then he is stuck with her sorry

Posterity will be kind t him Even the kids will admit he tried

Why did your friend marry her? The fault lies entirely with him marriage is for better or for worse

By the way, no more kids

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by missstella(f): 3:21pm On Mar 14, 2015
iceberylin:
Its easy.....



Get another wife . grin
yeye stanley shey na so u leave me go marry ggrin don't worry our case dey heaven, OP they should go for counselling
Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Nobody: 3:22pm On Mar 14, 2015
Like I said earlier, the guy was always only a means to an end, in this case the end is the woman's comfort and financial security. We know this guy has no other value apart from laying golden eggs as far as this woman is concerned. We can tell from her lack of appreciation of his efforts from the beginning till date.

Unfortunately, your friend unwittingly enslaved himself to this woman, and while he thinks he's being a "responsible" man he's only a cash cow.

Now, to the issue of no sex: I'm afraid she never really felt sexually attracted to him and only apportioned puscy to secure her financial future, which she has sealed by having kids for this fella. I guarantee you, if a woman wants to straff she will straff even after breaking rocks all day; have you not heard of babes going from PH to Nassarawa to go and collect the D? Do you know how long the journey from PH to Nass is? No amount of communication will make her release that yansh my brother. In fact, the more the communication, the more secure the lock to her honey pot. Your friend now spoilt everything by doing chores to avail her free time to straff, smfh, he will soon have to resign just so he can score some at home. This one is American wonder o; bearing in mind she's not as cute and cuddly as she once was. That fella is paying Range Rover money for a Volks Beetle.

SOLUTION?:

1. Your friend should stop all those rubbish dish-washing and toilet-scrubbing he's doing. If the housework wan kill am make she die.

2. He must stop asking for sexx from this woman. No respectable man requests for sexx, especially not from his wife.

3. He should get a hobby that makes him come home later than usual.

4. He must get a side chick.

5. After 3 months of this little little adjustments to his lifestyle, he should makes moves to copulate with wifey. If she continues on this path, ignore her for another 3 months. Meanwhile, if she does make moves for sexx let her know it will not happen because you are not interested. She should begin to get the idea that her arze has lost its potency and value.

Caveat: The process to gaining his manhood in that home is going to be long and ardous process and will be an everyday fight. It could well take years to reclaim his headship and my list is not exhaustive, not by a long shot. You guys can reach me for further consultation: grin wink

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by crackhaus: 3:22pm On Mar 14, 2015
The guy has been boxed into a corner, he tipped his hand and has shown all his moves - it will be hard for him to come back from this one because his wife now has more game than he does, unfortunately.

So much for being Mr. Nice Guy.

4 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Sweetguy25: 3:23pm On Mar 14, 2015
After they will start asking where all good men are. Its better you ask for a divorce because that woman will you drive you to your early grave. I would have advised you have extra marital affairs but I doubt if she would even care, she may also see as a justification to have one too. Tell her and her parents that you're tired of the marriage and your decision is final.

9 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by Nobody: 3:24pm On Mar 14, 2015
If a husband is nice and only have interest in his wife, then the wife starts denying the husband intimacy.

This is how satan uses a wife to break her home

8 Likes

Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by freshness2020: 3:25pm On Mar 14, 2015
Hmmmmmm ..
Re: She Doesn't Love Him, But He Doesn't Believe In Divorce. by SmooshCHN: 3:25pm On Mar 14, 2015
sluvy4tune:
Was there no courtship ? or even boyfriend & girlfriend relationship before the marriage ?
Seems like a fling happened and belle come enter so he gats marry her
You can't say, I've seen a case where she quit her job and just decided not to go to work once the Husband became Director. He does the dishes, cooks sometimes or buys food outside cos she no longer bothered to cooks what he likes and all she does is wake children up for school and stays at home all day. And asked why she quit she said she needs rest and why should I work when he earns enough. He one time had to patronize a runs girl to satisfy urges and keep him company his wife never gave. Her attitude changed after like 6months when her husband had 2weeks leave and during that period left a fake Sack letter on the sofa she always sit watching movie.
I feel for him. God'll see him through.

3 Likes

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