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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Despair (1333 Views)
Despair by Nobody: 7:22am On Mar 19, 2015 |
I woke up from my slumber To the harsh hand of hunger I couldn't help but ponder Why life is really an asunder I just hope God will perform wonder Clutching my stomach in pain I couldn't even make use of my brain I don't know if I was still sane If only God could make food rain Heaven and Earth must attest to my vain And query God for making me lame My eyes had grown tired of shedding tears I wish I could talk my mouth I wish I could hear with my ears I wish I could express my anger and let out a shout And get a notion from the look in humans eyes I want to be referred to as human. I need your critics..... Cc. Ishilove, humbledbygrace Laykorn, jigsawkillah, larrysun, theorbiters, darkrebel666, dre11, joseph1832, mizmycoli, mznelly, dimple192 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:05am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Um......you didn't even title the poem. The poem is centered on......hunger? 1 Like |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:25am On Mar 19, 2015 |
MzNelly:I'm no poet, just a writer..... can you help with the title? |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:29am On Mar 19, 2015 |
D1ck: What message are you trying to pass across? |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:33am On Mar 19, 2015 |
MzNelly:The poverty life of the disabled..... partially deaf, dumb and lame peeps |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:41am On Mar 19, 2015 |
D1ck: The poem doesn't hit it Poetry ain't your forte |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:43am On Mar 19, 2015 |
MzNelly:Well this is my second..... I'm still a learner! So what topic do you think best fit this |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:44am On Mar 19, 2015 |
D1ck: I dunno Confusion |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:48am On Mar 19, 2015 |
MzNelly:I guess I'm gonna wait till the biguns arrive..... |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:51am On Mar 19, 2015 |
D1ck: Sure; go on |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:52am On Mar 19, 2015 |
MzNelly:D1ck |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:53am On Mar 19, 2015 |
D1ck: |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:55am On Mar 19, 2015 |
... |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:59am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Lol |
Re: Despair by JigsawKillah(m): 3:55pm On Mar 19, 2015 |
D1ck: Untitled! it says you're hungry and helpless and angry that you're disabled the title should be up to you, something that can connect with what you're saying |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 4:27pm On Mar 19, 2015 |
Title: Emancipation or Emancipated My 1p |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 11:38am On Mar 20, 2015 |
Dimples192:Done |
Re: Despair by joseph1832(m): 1:40pm On Mar 22, 2015 |
D1ck:I just saw this and didn't even know I got a mention. I read your poem and I must say you did quite well for a learner. However I don't agree with the title of the poem. 'Despair' should be the title of the poem not emancipation or emancipated! |
Re: Despair by joseph1832(m): 1:44pm On Mar 22, 2015 |
JigsawKillah:Hunger, pain, anger, tears, hopelessness, anguish = Despair. That should be the title. However d1ck still hold the aces in deciding the title. |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 2:01pm On Mar 22, 2015 |
joseph1832:Thanks bro, Done. 1 Like |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 12:24pm On Apr 01, 2015 |
MzNelly |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:08pm On Apr 01, 2015 |
D1ck: Lol, yeah |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:10pm On Apr 01, 2015 |
MzNelly:Mirexxx is looking for my trouble on your thread, should I attend to her or ignore her.... While you're deciding could you pls drop that ERM... digits |
Re: Despair by mirexxx(f): 1:11pm On Apr 01, 2015 |
D1ck:quit mentioning me butt!hole! |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:21pm On Apr 01, 2015 |
D1ck: Do what you want I no dey |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:22pm On Apr 01, 2015 |
D1ck edit that post |
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:28pm On Apr 01, 2015 |
MzNelly:gotcha8) |
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