₦airaland Forum

First letter from a married woman to single ladies.
Dear Single Ladies,
Na wa. Yes, na wa. Not because I am ignorant of appropriate ways to begin a letter but because no other beginning could be more expressively appropriate for you. "Na wa" because it is a common expression of bewilderment like when we hear Sister Lucy is called Candy outside church. "Na wa" because it is fitting for disgust like when we see Sisi Kemi is becoming a grandmother - scratch that, mother - as she is pregnant for Baba Ade. "Na wa" because we are fatigued by speechlessness seeing that when we say the Lord's prayer for our husbands, we should replace "temptations" with "evil single ladies". Hence, on these counts and more, I greet you "na wa".
I have tried to make sense of your thing with our husbands. Though it is common knowledge that people cheat (it obviously transcends gender), you don't find it easily accepted. Permit the truism that people won't cheat if they've got no one to cheat with. Indeed, it is an issue we have to settle with our husbands. Yet, I dare to play the woman-to-woman card and clear this repugnant air with you. Trying to see things through your eyes, I wonder: what makes you accept married men as lovers?
Money? How much exactly? How much can a man possibly offer you that you can't challenge yourself to make by yourself? That you are single means you are young, free and vibrant. So why not make that work positively profitably for you? I mean, except you are a daft, lazy, gold-digging leech (which I want to believe you are not), then you can be independent.

I have seen some of you sincerely swear that no single man can say he pays your bills. This is true because first they are not single and second because they are mostly "various" men. But I certainly don't mean independent like that.

You like older men? I can't judge you for that penchant. I really understand. Especially since many young men are still stuck on Jay Z's "Young Forever" and are this close to leaving puberty in their 30's. Since your turn-on is understandably maturity, I insistently scream, "By all means". However, I have a simple request: leave the married men alone. There are widowers who would love their second wives deeply and elderly men who for some reason never got married. These are a perfect class of options for you to frolic with or build that better-than-Telemundo love story. But please, leave the married men alone.

We are messed up married women? Our husbands tell you we suck in bed, nag their hormones dead and still smell of maggi no matter how we bathe? So, you become their aspirin for we headache-wives. Very kind you. But the beatitude on peacemaker doesn't in anyway mean this neither are Nobel for Peace so won. Really want to help? Leave matter for "Matayas".

Further thought on other reasons have yielded nothing. Don't join a man in defying his vows. If you have no regard for God who warns that none should put asunder (I'm astounded that you don't see a retribution there), then fear the Devil. Wives are getting vicious. Ezinwa died stuck in intercourse with Papa Emeka. Onome has gone mad. Sarah has razor cuts on her face. Our husbands can't be excited by dead girls so how do you miss these vile stories?

Another emphatic plea: leave married men alone. Person wey talk say our water no go boil, dem no go sell matches for hin village o.
For Slighted Wives,
A Concerned Wife.

Single lady to the married woman

Dear Married Women,
Abeg, go and sit down, it is also a common expression of bewilderment like when we know a man of God is a flirt outside church (Lord have mercy), go and sit down because Mr. john is begging Rita to have a baby for him and send her abroad, go and sit down because we are fatigued by speechless seeing that when we say the Lord’s prayer for ourselves, we should replace temptations with evil married men (your husband), hence on these counts, I greet you too.
Curiosity has always made me wonder why married men cheat, leave you at home and would not let we single ladies be and allow our fellow single guys have a good chance with us. Throwing gifts, money and vacation at us without asking or without agreeing to their request yet, who doesn’t like good things?

To think one can live a free life being an independent pretty lady has been robbed off us, yes ladies that pays their bills with their earning without your husband’s money do exist (Shout out to my fellow independent ladies out there) but if your husband decides to take it upon themselves to help pay our bills, who are we to say no, it’s their choice and why should we reject an harmless offer, it ease our responsibilities. In case you don’t know, they beg for our attention, affection and shower us with gifts and vacations we don’t ever ask for.

You think we like older men, for your mind, you think we like we way your husband look at us lustfully because we’ve been blessed with a beautiful figure eight shape, you think we like the way you husband look at our boobs while they talk to us and the way they look at our butt while we walk away and can’t report them or do anything about it because they are our boss, you think we like them bombarding us with calls and attention, you think we like the fact that they only last 2minutes in bed and not more than one round (boring)?

Yes they’re matured, they offer to pay our bills (we don’t ask them to), they offer us vacation abroad just to spend time with us (most of us haven’t been outside Nigeria before), some even go as pleading that we get pregnant for them, send us abroad and continue our life there, please who doesn’t like good things especially when they are free?

Only the childish ones say bad things about their wife, they say good things about you and how they also respect you. We are more than aspirin to your husband, we help keep your husband sane and also make them insane when we want to, and we always have them in our palms.

We are not putting asunder to anything or helping to defy his vows, your husband can’t see a hot pretty independent lady as a friend, secretary, colleague and look away, it turns them on and it’s never our fault they get turned on even without being touched, some of us ladies are wonderfully made with hot bodies.

Single ladies are getting vicious, remember Mr. Efe sent his wife packing, Mr. Femi comes home once a month and Mr. Remi has not been himself lately, so be warned.

They cry like babies when we tell them we are no longer interested, they beg us with everything when we are angry with them and throw tantrum at you at home, they are our babies.

If you want peace, talk to your husband not us and tell them to leave the single ladies alone.

Hello everyone, I am a male, a ceo, an executive director and a contracted staff for two different companies, in as much as my busy schedules get the best parts of my time, I still create time to address the important things in my life hence, I’m also a huge fan of the important and useful news of this blog.
I’m in my early 30’s, a silent millionaire, unmarried and I would like to give my own version of my 2-cents in this “single, married, independent, dependent, somewhere in-between, not-sure-of-where-I-stand-yet” bruh-ha-ha of the female species and how you generalize the male folk in a very serious series of assumptions but yet, comical lifestyle.
I read the letters of both the single and married women to detail and I can tell you for a fact that you women (whether single or married) are the ignition to our drive, you either help us build the dream or destroy it and by dream, I mean the game plan of how, where and what we do with each other for now or the future. We didn’t wake up to start misbehaving, it is your inability to supply the help we need [hence the Biblical passage of you being referred to as “our helper”] that sets things messy on the long run.

You see, we are insatiable to the bone, we live for three things: MONEY, POWER, SEX – finish. If we as men cheat on you, that’s ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, and for so many reasons – For the married women: When we first spotted you, you were fresh, yummy, intelligent (not all of you sha) and possessed a killer model-body frame [yes we fall for what we feed our eyes on]. We did all to get you, we married you and we fed our fantasies until……….when you stopped, you gave birth and it didn’t occur to you that staying in shape was one of the things that turned us on in you, why then look like an egg-roll all of a sudden after a couple of kids? Now you can’t lift a leg anymore and you complain that we complain, listen up sweethearts, do you notice that the other lady(ies) we cheat on you with are mainly younger and IN SHAPE? When it comes to our sex, don’t cut us short, we want you to play out all our fantasies, be our lover, our prostitute, our naughty nurse, our run-to-girl, our stripper…..yes, you can be all that bundled into one person. I tell you ladies that when your man is fed with these alter egos of you, he will dare NOT cheat cos not all women are like you and the thought of you giving it good to another nigger cos you guys split will haunt him all his life, no man wants to leave a bad b*tch / good woman.

This is just one of the many reasons why we cheat, others include……when you…..

· Double date / Get gifts from your ‘uncles’ / Sleep around for the fun of it / Lie consistently / All you do is ask for money / Cos we can’t buy you Gucci / Wink at another dude / You're talentless / You're an olodo / Can’t cook / Bad breath / hygiene / Bad English / Bleach / Argue uselessly……….etc

Now, I earlier said we live for three things, now here are three things we want in one woman:
[b]1. A woman who’s street smart, a lady who knows business and can hold her man’s business in his absence (quick tip) – Save the cash your man gives you from time to time, snuggle up to him one cozy night, show him the cash and say these words: “Honey, here’s the thing, I want to start a biz that can be an asset in our future, I know quite a bit but I want you to school me, *present the cash* here’s quite an amount I saved from the cash you’ve been giving me”. Sweetheart, you just swept yo man off his feet and turned him on, the sex that night will be legendary. I assure you he will go out of his way to make you his only woman.

2. A woman who can cook. My lawd, if all you know how to cook is indomie, just die. It is true that the way to our hearts is via our tummies.

3. Finally, you’ve got to go all out on the love making, I explained this earlier. You’ve got to be a freak in the sheets, why else do you think we cheat on you? We want to be fed, it is very possible for us to stick to yo’ confused angry asses, if we close from work by 5pm, we’ll defy gravity to close by 1pm. If you don’t know how to be a bad b*tch to us, follow kim kardashian and see why kanye wants to die there.
N/B: We love freaky ish and we listen to good girls who talk dirty, that’s why we cheat , cos these thots give us what you refused to give us.


As for the independent woman who said we owe you loyalty cos we married you, excuse you? Sorry boo, we paid your bride price, you owe us loyalty with some change by the side, if we cheat, we ain’t doing it with goats, we doing this with your species, you on the other hand are the ones that my species hunt, we are not to blame, you are to blame cos you ain't loyal to yo man, you want free KFC but won't work for your own cash, you were lazy at some point, do you talk to us about it? Do you indulge us as a couple?

An independent woman doesn’t need a man to give her things in order to be comfortable, HE PROVIDES, RELIEVES HER OF STRESS AND HIS PRESENCE IS A BONUS to her life. We as men deserve your best when we provide for you (it’s not the same as dash) and if you are in it cos of what you can get from us, then STFU when karma taps your behind.

[/b]
Lastly, this is a shout out to the real hardworking ladies that are out there keeping the rep strong, the real women who can hold real men down, those who can turn a house into a home, those who will stand by their men no matter what, those who know the value of their worth, those who can turn down expensive gifts without batting an eyelid, you are the real women that make real men blush.

Enjoy your day folks.

kilokeys:
booked space.. read later.. for now.. make i chop my roasted yam and oil first

ahnie:
as in eeh...the longivity of this epistle nor be here o

Shollypopzz:
Is this satire??

Are they trying to highlight the stupid mentality that some folks have towards married men cheating? Then, they would be doing a wonderful job.

BABE3:
They all have valid arguments. Very solid points. And that's why there will always be husbands, wives and side chics.... till thy kingdom come.

greatgod2012:
One more thing, married men, leave the single girls alone, spend the money you're spending on those girls on your wife and see, if you will not see changes.
Initiate the kind of play you do with your wives, and see if she won't reciprocate.

Tolerate your wives the way you pampers those girls and see if she won't satisfy you.




One more question, what do we call a man who has a very beautiful wife at home but decides to flirt with almost a beast.....what is his problem
Blindness
Covetousness
Jazz
What exactly

chibic:
Mtcheew!!

When a married woman hits 40-plus, at that time majority of them won't look beautiful or attractive again, their husbands may lose interest and start dating hotter chicks and other men out there won't be giving them attention nor toating them..they will suddenly remember that it is time to fight or write to single ladies to leave their husbands alone. I hear you! But you forgot that in the early stagies of your marriage, a lot of you married women cheated so much on your hubbies because you were still young and attractive and men out there who didn't know you were married were toasting you every hour and your head was swelling. You thought you were the only girl in the world. And you also thought you could eat your cake and have it. Well, reality have dawned on you. Now that you are older and unnattractive, you have to go through the pains of being cheated on.
If you cheated in the early stage of your marriage like after 2,3,4,5 yrs of your marriage which, according to what I've witnessed a lot, is the period married women cheat the most, then by the time you get older and no man is looking your way again, and your hubby is old but still look fresh and good-to-go like men do, then accept your fate when he returns the same cheating favour to you. Yes, I know that it pains more at this point due to the fact that no man wants you any more..loooooool...it feels good to be a man!!!

Mandu94:
Another woman hater.

chibic:
I guese truth is bitter!

Everthing I said there is the truth. Do you have to pretend as if you don't notice what is happening in this world? Or atleast Nigeria?.ma lot of married women cheat these days and they should stop making noise about men cheating. A lot of them cheated on their hubbies in the early stage of their marriage. I'm not making this up, its the truth!! Some do it with their ex, some do it with their colleagues. The bottomline is that they cheat too and they will cry when their hubbies returns the favour..especially when they don't look attractive anymore...looooooool

Timbuktou:
Mister, Nigerian women do not cheat. They do not cheat. Please be guided in your utterances

chibic:
abi o!..they do not cheat yet, they ranked NO 1 in world's most adulterous wives...the single girls nko?..5 boyfriends at the same time all in the name of test driving. Honestly, they do not cheat!!..looooool

chibic:
I guese truth is bitter!

Everthing I said there is the truth. Do you have to pretend as if you don't notice what is happening in this world? Or atleast Nigeria?.ma lot of married women cheat these days and they should stop making noise about men cheating. A lot of them cheated on their hubbies in the early stage of their marriage. I'm not making this up, its the truth!! Some do it with their ex, some do it with their colleagues. The bottomline is that they cheat too and they will cry when their hubbies returns the favour..especially when they don't look attractive anymore...looooooool