₦airaland Forum

prissyluv:
Wow,quite insightful. Thanks a lot.
So if a partner who wedded under the customary law goes to a court of law to dissolve his/her marriage,what evidence will he/she present to the court as being married to the said person? Will the terms of property sharing and who takes responsiblity of the children(if any) be decided by the court too?

So,is it possible to have a statutory marriage forgoing the customary without aftermath consequences?

Hope you dont mind my too much questions. Thanks

Napoleone:
The evidence of a customary marriage is the payment of BRIDE PRICE by the family of the husband to the family of the wife. Therefore, failure to lead evidence to the effect that the bride price was paid leaves the court with the conclusion that it's mere cohabitation.
The court can also make pronouncement on property and children under maintenance and custody of children respectively. It must, however, be noted the rules governing these two subject-matters differ from those of the statutory marriage. Although the husband is obliged to maintain the wife under customary marriage but she's not automatically entitled to the husband's property like the statutory marriage.(The more important reason not to take statutory marriage with levity). Also, as regards custody of children, the man has exclusive custodial right i.e he is the owner of the children unlike under customary marriage where the child is given to the best person that can take care of the child, even if a third party.
As regard foregoing customary marriage, it may not be advisable. The reason being that each have a role to place and this has led to a high incidence of double deck marriage. For example, it is customary law that gives the society the impression that you're married. It also helps family harmony most times because, apart from the fact that no family member will disturb the marriage having given consent to your union, the family can also help resolve dispute and protect the sacrosanct institution of marriage. Quote me! Marriages where the family of the wife loves the husband so much and vice versa lasts more.
I don't mind the questions. It's my joy when people walk on this path without missing it. You're welcome.

bukatyne:
Court marriage also depends on the church you are getting wedded.

If your church is licenced to wed, then you can get a license from the court and get joined in the church.

Since the certificate is from the court, it is backed by legal jugunu same as doing court wedding.

Some people don't also believe in court wedding; worldly things and preparing for divorce.

prissyluv:
Thanks so much dear. I am more than grateful.

Sunnypar:
7 REASONS WHY YOU ARE NOT
GOING TO GET MARRIED
1) You have TRUST ISSUES, you
claim you have been hurt before,
and so it's difficult for you
trusting someone else again.
Well unless you go for
Counselling, just like you believe,
IT WILL ALWAYS BE DIFFICULT
FOR YOU TRUSTING ANYONE, and
sincerely speaking, without trust
a Relationship or Marriage can
NEVER survive.
2) You grew up in the midst of
FAMILY SECRETS, and had to tell a
lot of lies to cover up perceived
shame. And now you have
become a Pathological liar. Even
you are amazed at how you
can't say anything without
telling a lie. You want to tell the
Truth, but it is foreign to you.
Without Truth, you can't build a
lasting Relationship or Marriage.
Someday, EVERY LIE you have
told will come to light, and you
will be found out to be a
STRANGER, anyone and everyone
should run away from. Why
don't you seek Counselling.
3) People say you are Proud, but
don't know that it's because you
have a Complex. You have done
a good job exhibiting a
Superiority Complex to keep
people from coming closer to
you, because if they do, you
don't believe they will truly like
you as you are. Even you don't
like yourself, and that attitude
may be tough in a Relationship
or Marriage, because it takes a
person who loves and accepts
himself to love and accept
others. So with the help of an
expert, run a Personal Check on
yourself to have a very good
understanding of your
Personality, and how to make it
work for you.
4) You are NEVER wrong. As far
as you are concerned, you
believe you are the Seat Of
Wisdom. And so everybody
knows you are ready to argue
about anything and everything,
because you just have to be
right, while everybody else is
wrong. The way you get Angry is
also alarming. Haven't you
noticed that people are always
eager to stay away from you?
Now that won't work in a
Relationship or Marriage,
because it's only those who
prefer someone else to
themselves and are ready to
make the other person take the
shine, that relationship and
marriage works for.
5) You are Self-Serving and
Selfish. You always do things for
YOURSELF, and have no one else
in mind. So you cheat because
even though you are getting
80% of what you need from
your friend, you take it for
granted and go in Search of the
20% you think you are not
getting, but need from someone
else, and eventually lose the
Diamond in your possession
while going after Glitter.
Marriage only looks good on
those who put the other person
first and into consideration,
before they consider themselves.
6) There is a hole in your heart,
and no matter how many people
try to love you, you cannot
receive love. You drink, smoke,
and have sex with anything and
anyone. Commitment is difficult
for you. You are not even
committed to yourself, not to
talk of another Person.
Unfortunately for you, Marriage
requires TOTAL COMMITMENT or
nothing else. Get Counselling,
find out the root cause and deal
with it.
7) You have No Relationship
with God. Really? So why do you
want to get married? Don't you
know Marriage was instituted by
God. YOU NEED A RELATIONSHIP
WITH GOD IF YOU WANT TO GET
MARRIED AND STAY MARRIED!
But Jerome, I don't agree with
you, I have some of these flaws
and I am married today.
Really? Do you think having a
Wedding is the same thing as
Getting Married? I know you had
a big wedding, but ARE YOU
MARRIED?
Consultation with Jerome is not
free.
Whatsapp +2348037194335
SOUNDmind 2AFF30BF
jerome@jeromeis talking.org
08053JEROME.

Sleekyshuga:
It's quite a lengthy topic but also, an eye opener . Your patience is appreciated.

What Is Marriage?
It is a union between a man, and a woman who makes a permanent, and exclusive commitment..
It is otherwise called Matrimony or Wedlock..

What Is A Court Marriage? It is a legal back up union between a man, and a woman or the sealing of a marriage by Law..
***********************************

I got into a conversation with a friend this afternoon. He talked about his intentions to settle down when he comes back home (Nigeria, since he has been in Asia) by December.

He literally asked for my assistance in helping him search for a lady he can settle down with. I vividly remember the last time we spoke (Sept. 2013). When I asked about his girlfriend, he said she was fine, and that got me a little confused.
************************************

Fast forward to today.....

Jenny: You want to settle down?
Agozie: Yes!
Jenny: What happened to your girlfriend?
Agozie: She is fine.
Jenny: Why are you in search of another lady when you have a girlfriend?
Agozie: Her problems are much.
Jenny: *eager to know*.. What kind of problems?
Agozie: She is constantly asking for a court marriage.
Jenny: And what's wrong with that?
Agozie: Hmmmm... Ladies, and your sense of reasoning. She wants to 'Reap where she did not sow'. Traditional and white wedding is OK for us..

It got me thinking, and I got interested.. I randomly asked few males on my list (25-32 years) range on their take on court marriage.. I'll try to quote them..

1st guy: Why court marriage when I'll properly get married to her? Court marriage na for people wey get belle b4 marriage or people wey their parents no gree give approval..

2nd guy: I've not really thought about it, maybe because I still see it as a Western type of marriage..

3rd guy: Why should I? Na she buy me property?

I continued in my quest to know/learn...

4th guy: Yes, I will. It's the best form of marriage. It protects the lady from any form of maltreatment..

5th guy: Yes, I will. It gives the lady a right, and separation will follow due process..

6th guy: Yes, but other people's opinion matter (such as my spouse family), etc..

My fellow Nairalanders, what's your opinion(s) on court marriage.

Napoleone:
Wow! This is very nice...in fact, I'm falling in love with you right away!
It is noteworthy that the term "court marriage" is informal. It is called "statutory marriage" or "marriage under the Act". In essence, it is not the venue of the marriage that matters or determines but whether the procedures stated in the Marriage Act have been strictly followed. For instance, apart from going to the registry, a statutory marriage can also be conducted in a licenced place of worship-this requires the certificate to be returned to the registry. This goes to show that church blessing is not tantamount to statutory marriage.
However, it is not uncommon for woman to leave the wedding arrangement in the charge of the man. If the man fraudulently pretends to have done 'court wedding' and starts using that to maltreat the woman or threaten to divorce her by any means, the woman can seek legal redress and succeed.
I must also address the fact that "if you're not ready to share what you have with your partner, then why tell her you love her talkless of marrying her?". Research has shown that most males shy away from statutory marriage for a number of reasons which includes, but not limited to, the desire to enjoy the potential to marry as many wives as possible(which the customary marriage guarantee), the reluctance to share both movable and immovable property with the woman, the mischievous intention to divorce her in any manner and at any time etc
The disadvantages of a lady undergoing only a customary marriage with a man are countless but I will mention a few.
1. Polygamy: The man has the right to marry as many wives as possible. In fact, it has been submitted that he has a right to commit adultery.
2. Divorce: The man can divorce the woman in an unscrupulous manner. For example, he can just wake up one morning and send the woman packing. That's the end of the marriage.
3. Custody: The man will have exclusive custody of the children. In other words, the man is the owner of the children unlike statutory marriage where they are jointly owned. The implication of this is that if the man has been nowhere to be found since the birth of the child and the woman has been taking care of the children, he can even come when the they are less than 18years to take them away. Etc
My submission is that any man that refuses to marry you under the Act i.e 'court wedding' is not worth marrying you at all because he is subjecting you to grave insecurity. You should be suspicious of such man.
LADIES!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!