₦airaland Forum

I just want to give my suggestion based on my personal experience.

I will be getting married in May. It ought to have being on the 28th of March, but elections in Nigeria made us move the date.

My fiance and I started dating in 2006. I already had my first degree then and preparing for NYSC, while he was studying to be an engineer. By the time he had his B.Sc, I already had a few years work experience.

Like you, I am very driven. I started a business at 20. I am one of those people that can start 5 projects, run a business at the side while holding down a job and still think of fresh new opportunities to explore. He was laid back, I had to push him to always go for more.

In fact, I did not have a problem with being the bread winner until the Holy Spirit convicted me and told me I was subtly placing a curse on my intended. I mean it is NOT the place of a woman to be the SOLE provider. She is the helpmeet, the support system. The bible says a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel!

When I got that understanding, I revamped my mindset. I showed him the scripture, and told him. You know me. You know how driven I am and you know I will not let myself be limited by a man. I will not soft pedal on achieving my dreams because I don't want you to feel inadequate, so you need to sit up.

Then, I began to find ways to push him towards accomplishing his goals. While he was awaiting NYSC, I was the PR manager in a school. I organized the annual Christmas party, which was unlike any the school ever had. We had sponsors and media coverage. He is a great dancer and had a group in school, so I suggested he should consider training the students in dance;salsa, ballet etc. He was excited. I proposed the idea to the board and he was hired as the choreographer. He did an EXCELLENT job!

Next, I had an idea for weddings, talked to him about it and we made business cards. He was the MD and I Business development manager. Our biggest client was from him. (An aunt of his).

Shortly, he went for NYSC and I secured another job in another city. I developed his resume and would check for jobs online, write cover letter and apply on his behalf.

Now, several years after. I am AMAZED at the man he has become! I am soo proud of him. He is a sales Engineer, confident, driven and dedicated. He once told me he used to think he couldn't get a job without connections. But now, he doesn't think there's any interview he'll go for that he wouldn't scale through. I remember, I used to prep him for interviews back then.

I asked him recently, where that unmotivated, timid guy was, and he gave me one kind look. LOL. Now, I don't have to do any of those work I used to do because he is on top of his game.

I really thank God because even his mum, turned around and loved me when she saw the direction her son's life was headed and realized he was at his best with me in his life.

In summary, I just want to say, we should endeavor to make an impact in the lives of people we encounter. 9months is too short to give up on him. Give it your best, if it means finding time to search for jobs with him and even applying on his behalf, do it. His seeming controlling nature may just be because he feels insecure. Help him get past the insecurities. I believe the role of a woman is to build up her man, to help him reach his full potentials. That is why there is no end to how high a man can rise if he's got a good woman by his side.

That laid back dude today can become a driven, goal oriented man tomorrow. Mine is a living proof. he is not just an Engineer, he got certified in HSE and picked up great designing skills. I once got a contract to supply table top calendars. He designed it and managed the printing process. I would have spent 100k, paying a designer for the designs. He stays dedicated to tasks and wouldn't give up until he has seen it through. I didn't see these qualities in him before and wouldn't have known it was in there if I gave up on him.

All the best gurl.

Source: https://www.nairaland.com/2147859/babyosisis-marital-advice-new-intended/84#32279325

[quote author=2sex post=33124451][/quote]hmmmm gurls of ur type are very scarce ....cabt even imagine myself having a gurl like u.....

redsconsult:
hmmmm gurls of ur type are very scarce ....cabt even imagine myself having a gurl like u.....

bros, it's not me o. I saw it somewhere and I decided to share it here.

2sex:
bros, it's not me o. I saw it somewhere and I decided to share it here.

better post source before your fellow guys start to chyke you

Oahray:
better post source before your fellow guys start to chyke you

I don post suace ooooo

Wow! Such a lucky guy her man is..

2sex:
bros, it's not me o. I saw it somewhere and I decided to share it here.

oooh i taught its u ooo if u can emulate it i will marry u

redsconsult:
oooh i taught its u ooo if u can emulate it i will marry u

marry a man ?

cc Oahray:

Nature8:
Wow! Such a lucky guy her man is..

very lucky indeed!

D lady is indeed a virtuous woman. Her hubby wil 4 eva cherish her

This her pre-wedding photos

https://www.nairaland.com/2274037/pictures-evinas-pre-wedding-shoot