U re a big fool...how does dat make me less a man?..u shud have said dat spanish men are not men cos of dia naming system...change ur local mentality...village id.iot

IYANGBALI:
you na man?you no be man now,you just get preek by mistake

donbenedict:
abegi.. That's d way it suposed to be .. Deal wid it

You apparently want a heifer to breed for you, that's not a marriage, you simply want livestock for breeding.

lampardizik:



Then why say your vows??

Makes no sense

What vows? I don't know of any vow in my CULTURE and RELIGION, however I know of responsibilties and my role.

yorubaboiy:
nibo....to ba fe je oruko baba e ko kuku duro sibe....loju temi iranu ni

asa wa ni ile yoruba ko fi aiye gba irufe osi yen

Posts like this reminds me of two things. One is that this world has lost all known values created over generations and warfare. Women now asking questions and making demands while expecting the status quo. If it should not be a big deal to the man y u spoiling the fun by ur name inclusion making it a big deal. Secondly stop searching for people who might complement ur beliefs. Rather find out all u believe and search for somebody who believes the same load of crap. Happy married life

MrsChima:


Submission in the bible indicated BOTH parties in the marriage...not just the woman.

The bible also speak about loving the woman as Christ loved the church...do you think Jesus will forsake you if you choose not to do some things in your freewill? So whys the hypocrisy?

I did'nt see any hypocrisy rather you are the one getting it all wrong. The wife is to Submit to the husband while the husband is to love the wife. The word submission is used when one party have authority over another. So in this comtext the man is the head of the house or except you want equate a woman with a man in the home which i know you won't cause if you do, i just can't help but to imagine what your home will look like.

dyabman:


Somethings are being done right before we were born and few of those things in marriage as we are speaking of has affected us positively with pride as couples. We youth of today try to do something new something different and right now such improvised idea of putting your surname even after you are married as a lady seems disrespecting and distracting to the union. #myopinion.

You said it right...your opinion. It has nothing to do with God.

Timbuktou:


There's really no law that mandates anyone to get married. I promise you, you stand no legal risks of you refused to get married. I'm sure Oprah is a big mentor of yours, you can always keep a man with whom you can have sexual relations, we will understand. Seriously, why get married with a chip on your shoulder? And you claim to be modern, and enlightened,smh. Pfft.

I can't because of my religion. However Marriage or no marriage, boy-men (for example, you) must be rendered disposable!

Justfollowit:


Haha, you wish

You are the low-lifer here. The one that needs his ego to be massaged every now and then to feel like a ‘man'.

You've made no interesting 'unknown' discoveries here. Men need the ego massage like women need the romance/romantic massage. Yet, I don't need this massage to 'feel like a man'. I already know what it means to be a man, I just won't tolerate any woman who doesn't know and doesn't want to learn how to treat a man. It's pretty simple, really.

By the way, are you going to bring forward points on this thread or are you going to fingerfuck yourself while staring intently at my moniker and comments?

dyabman:


Somethings are being done right before we were born and few of those things in marriage as we are speaking of has affected us positively with pride as couples. We youth of today try to do something new something different and right now such improvised idea of putting your surname even after you are married as a lady seems disrespecting and distracting to the union. #myopinion.

Of course, a lady's refusal to bear her husband's name is disrespectful

You want to marry me but want to retain your father's name? My tolerance hasn't reached that level. You better go back to your father even if he is Obama. Nonsense.

Justfollowit:


What vows? I don't know of any vows in my CULTURE and RELIGION, however I know of responsibilties and my role.

Talking of culture,if you were a Mexican then I would say that using your father's name is allowed,so what does a Nigerian culture have to do with using your father's name instead of your husband's

You want to marry me but want to retain your father's name? My tolerance hasn't reached that level. You better go back to your father even if he is Obama. Nonsense

Justfollowit:


I can't because of my religion. However Marriage or no marriage, boy-men (for example, you) must be rendered disposable!

You're nothing but a pawn. You're still held by religion and you dare insult my legacy? Sweety, I feel pity for you now where you used to disgust me. Enjoy your 'religion', I hope it provides enough healing for you broken soul.

Btw, I'm sure you've got a love-hate mindset about this religion of yours, whatever the fvck it is. Seriously, stop quoting me, you're so intellectually limited. You have nothing but a few pages of this movement you're so twistedly passionate about. Please, stop quoting me, it's disgusting.

gloryl:


well................ i haven't really given it a serious thought till i get to that bridge...

You're not entitled to any thought. Na you dey pay bride price?

Sard:
I honestly don't think it's crazy. As long as she and her spouse agree on it, then it is fine. She should just include her husband's name, there's no need for her to completely remove her father's name.

dats true 2lk jare

You think they know that? They all scream culture! tradition !but know nothing about it. Just letting unnecessary ego and domineering spirit lead them on. Go ask your great grandma how it was in those days.
Chimamanda gave them a perfect explanation citing tradition of the Igbos and since then,none of them dare question her again on why she retained her father's name and not take up her husband's.
Not every decision a woman takes relates to feminism. I will take up my husband's name but see nothing wrong with those retaining their father's eg Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, Omotola Jalade Ekehinde.......etc. mind you,these women are still living peacefully with their husbands and that's simply because of understanding. It doesn't make the men weak or 'woman wrapper' and for fame sake just like Chimamanda,it wouldn't be so easy to switch because 'Adichie' is her trademark. Besides,their husbands are not complaining,why make it your headache?!

AABeauty:


Did women take their husbands last names in Nigeria prior to the introduction of European/Western culture?

Justfollowit:


That is the Bible

My Qur'an clearly distinguished men from women. No one is arguing against the superiority of men however I reject every nauseating and unnecessary situations men create to feel superior where any reasonable human can tell that the superiority rule does not apply.

Well i don't see how the "superiority rule" does not apply in this case. I don't see it as them trying to feel superior, what i see are men who are reacting to new societal changes that put them at a disadvantage and/or even rob them of their headship position in the home and society which is not only against God but contrary to nature too.

There is nothing wrong with that...

martineverest:
U re a big fool...how does dat make me less a man?..u shud have said dat spanish men are not men cos of dia naming system...change ur local mentality...village id.iot

aaaahhahhahahahahahhaha kai the thing pain am well well. Iyangbali 5 - 0 martineverest

truthalways:
I recently noticed that our newly wedded ladies are retaining their fathers name after marriage. You hear names like Bisi Johnson-Adekunle, Evangeline Ojukwu-Chukwuma or Halima Haruna-Ciroma. Guys can you allow this and ladies why are you doing this?

Before I got married to my wife she raised this issue saying she wanted to retain her father's name. I asked her a simple question: do you want to get married or not? She understood and arranged herself.

Timbuktou:


You've made no interesting 'unknown' discoveries here. Men need the ego massage like women need the romance/romantic massage. Yet, I don't need this massage to 'feel like a man'. I already know what it means to be a man, I just won't tolerate any woman who doesn't know and doesn't want to learn how to treat a man. It's pretty simple, really.

By the way, are you going to bring forward points on this thread or are you going to fingerfuck yourself while staring intently at my moniker and comments?

Romantic massage?

You clearly have no idea of who you are dealing with. I don't need romantic massages. Those close to me know that I am extremely altruistic and I give everyone a chance and once they have proven themselves. I give back the same energy I receive. I' don't have to sweat it. Guys who like me, do so on that basis. If you compliment me politely I will do the same and if you check up on me when I am sick, I will do two folds of that if you fall sick. I will challenge you if need be I would never condone unwarranted and unnecessary insolence in the name of ‘I am a man'. I treat humans as humans, no more no less.

Woe betide the men other than my husband who call me ‘sexy', the only MAN (not a boy-man) that has the right to call me that is my HUSBAND.

Sard:
I honestly don't think it's crazy. As long as she and her spouse agree on it, then it is fine. She should just include her husband's name, there's no need for her to completely remove her father's name.

gud, I luv ur post

yorubaboiy:
nibo....to ba fe je oruko baba e ko kuku duro sibe....loju temi iranu ni

Eyi ni o kereju ninu nkan ti mo fi le dupe lowo baba mi ti o ko lati gboro si ogbogborun okunrin egbe e ti won si wa ninu okunkun pe ofo owo ati akoko ni riran omo obinrin lo ile iwe. Dandan ni TOEYEAN ADEBAYO *******

MrsChima:


Isaiah 4:1 speaks of women will marry a married man just to say that they are married and to bear his name is a sign of marriage in those days.

When it spoke of seven women. It was given an example number of how desperate women were back in the days to marry. It has nothing to do with honoring a surname.

Women didn't have much rights back in the days and for a woman to live well.. she has to be married. If she was unmarried by a certain age she was considered not marriageable.

It was a fit for survival back then and I am willing to bet those seven women didn't love that one man that they "fought" to bear his name. As I said....taking a surname doesn't improve quality of life nor marriage

The bible is talking about the significant of women changing their surname's to the husband's name. Am not talking about quality of life here rather am talking about WHAT OUGHT TO BE DONE. Talking about women's right is retaining your father's name part of it?

Beface:

I did'nt see any hypocrisy rather you are the one getting it all wrong. The wife is to Submit to the husband while the husband is to love the wife. The word submission is used when one party have authority over another. So in this comtext the man is the head of the house or except you want equate a woman with a man in the home which i know you won't cause if you do, i just can't help but to imagine what your home will look like.

I can imagine what YOUR home appears to be. Don't worry about my home and my husband is the man of the house and I am the woman of the house. We do not have any discord in our home and we highly respect each other!

Now getting back to what you appears to be confused about and that's why I like fighting with Christians who think they know the bible only to regurgitate what others think a family home should be. As I must add not every family is Christian. The bible doesn't work on those of Islam or Buddhist faith to name a few.

Genesis speaks of the parties leaving their parents home and cleaved as one...it also said that Eve was created from a rib..not toe or heel hone. She was created to be a help mate to Adam who was alone with other creations. Genesis clearly states equality between man and woman.

Now going back to Ephesian 5, which is an example of a Christian family. It doesn't apply to those who are not Christians. Chris is the head of the body, the man is the head of the family, and the woman is his help mate. The man is to submit to God and when a man submit to God, a woman submit to her husband as a reverend to Christ. The man is to love the woman as Christ loved his Church, which means that he is to have unconditional love for his wife and DIE for his wife.

Remember Christ died for those he loved so they can have grace before God.

Now Genesis states man and wife is ONE and ONE is interchangeable with each other. We can't pick and choose what is applicable when it is clear that man and woman is one=equal.

sagitarius:
If it's not agreed by both parties, then it's not right. These are some of the 'little' issues that can cause marital conflicts. If you're married, you've left your Father and Mother, then you and your spouse are now one. Stop all these modern-day trends in marriages.

dats vry tru my broda nd dats hw its suppose to be

Are Nigerians so inferior to the point where they readily adopt any alien culture they see? Even in the west, most women regardless of wealth or family status, drop their maiden name when they get married.

Except your surname is Clinton, Kennedy, Dangote, Gates, or Buffet.. You have no excuse retaining your maiden name.

This isn't about pride or power, it's about, uniformity, family one-ness and being on the same page.

Personally, I don't really care if a woman choses to retain her maiden name, as a matter of fact, it makes it easier for us to live parallel lives, which I will appreciate a lot being a guy who enjoys keeping secrets.

As long as my kids bear my name, I'm ok.

Timbuktou:


You're nothing but a pawn. You're still held by religion and you dare insult my legacy? Sweety, I feel pity for you now where you used to disgust me. Enjoy your 'religion', I hope it provides enough healing for you broken soul.

Btw, I'm sure you've got a love-hate mindset about this religion of yours, whatever the fvck it is. Seriously, stop quoting me, you're so intellectually limited. You have nothing but a few pages of this movement you're so twistedly passionate about. Please, stop quoting me, it's disgusting.

Says a man whose whole existence is devoured to woman-bashing . You shouldn't hate the man you see in the mirror, what you have assumed that I represent is exactly how you seem to other posters.

Swallow your own bitter pill graciously if truly you are man

Hmm... I dnt no y sum people keep arguing over a nameless thing,becus to my own view about dis matter if a woman wants 2 continue 2 bear her father and her husband name to which her patner agrees then no qualms.but if her patner doesn't agree their is notin bad in droping her fathers name! I notice sumthing among our males becus d way dey talk i sense dat they dnt take their patner serious at all d mentality of saying dere wife are like their maid is bad! saying he had paid her bride price and there is noting she can say.HABA show sum respect! they are nt sold and can never be sold! Sumone even said he as paid her father... Plz let dat mentality stop... Or ladies in d house am i nt right?

MrsChima:


I am a woman who don't conform to the mass idea of how one's should live their life because society say so.

I am a feminist of gender equality. Most females have their father 's name and if feminism has to do with surname..we will be advocating for women NOT to take their father's surname which is NOT the case.

My stance is women do not have to take their husband's surname if they don't want to and taking surname doesn't prove ANYTHING.

hold on with all the feminist load of crap
u wanna be feminist, start paying for meals and drinks on dates
u wanna be feminist, start doing ur own heavy lifting
u wanna be feminist, stop waiting for the man to step up to the challenge all the time
u wanna be feminist, be the alpha in the relationship
its not just the society its how it is dear
ive dated a so called feminist and at d end of the day, she just went to being a woman dat she really is
feminist ideology is just like lil kesh tryna speak british english on tim westwood, we all kn its all decoration and fake