lilspiceyy:

Love isn't just enough the aftermath is wat is important my sis. Cos I am facing the aftermath of my parent's union. Here is my story:

my dad is from west while mum is from the east, they fell in love and had both my 4 kids (my younger ones and 1) and 17 Yrs after marriage in 2002, I lost my dad and that wen things took a Good TURN( I like to call it dat way) dad secretly married someone from his tribe and hid it from my mum tho we got to knw before his death bt we weren't acknowledged by my dad's pple.

They always call us the OMO IBOs and in the end isolated themselves from us and made life difficult for us. Mum cldnt bear it anymore and died of HBP in 2007 leaving me (19 year old girl) behind with 3 younger ones they never came to her burial not even a baby from my dad's hometown! She was eventually buried in her hometown and mum's pple puts the blame on us cos we are our father's children.

But God has been faithful and never left us! We are doing very well bt that hatred is still there... that scar....is difficult to erase. Moreover, we left the house to stay with my mum's only sis after mum's death and the house was sold in our absence by my dad's younger brother who claimed took all my dad's properties.

Although, I don't totally hate the pple from the west bt.... i wldnt want to marry from the west cos I have seen 2 pple go tru same issues and it wasn't easy at all. we the kids are really facing the aftermath of inter-tribal marriage honestly.

lilspiceyy:

Love isn't just enough the aftermath is wat is important my sis. Cos I am facing the aftermath of my parent's union. Here is my story: my dad is from west while mum is from the east, they fell in love and had both my 4 kids (my younger ones and 1) and 17 Yrs after marriage in 2002, I lost my dad and that wen things took a Good TURN( I like to call it dat way) dad secretly married someone from his tribe and hid it from my mum tho we got to knw before his death bt we weren't acknowledged by my dad's pple. They always call us the OMO IBOs and in the end isolated themselves from us and made life difficult for us. Mum cldnt bear it anymore and died of HBP in 2007 leaving me (19 year old girl) behind with 3 younger ones they never came to her burial not even a baby from my dad's hometown! She was eventually buried in her hometown and mum's pple puts the blame on us cos we are our father's children. But God has been faithful and never left us! We are doing very well bt that hatred is still there... that scar....is difficult to erase. Moreover, we left the house to stay with my mum's only sis after mum's death and the house was sold in our absence by my dad's younger brother who claimed took all my dad's properties. Although, I don't totally hate the pple from the west bt.... i wldnt want to marry from the west cos I have seen 2 pple go tru same issues and it wasn't easy at all. we the kids are really facing the aftermath of inter-tribal marriage honestly.

here:

I am married,inter tribe.It's heavenly and cannot afford to think of life outside this union or how it would have been without my family but you see you and I are 2/10.
You know we arent fighting right?
Just wanted answers because I know there is a problem but guess you cannot see it.

babyosisi:


This is the main reason Igbos resist it when their daughters are marrying Yoruba men
Many Igbo women who do it end up wounded and regretful
It's not good to generalize but when you see a recurring pattern it's difficult to ignore it
Igbo women have to make this clear
Discuss this culture of extra wives and secret mistresses and extramarital babies and put your foot down,let him know you are totally against it and won't tolerate it or accept that alien culture
I don't know why they keep looking for trophy Igbo wives and then end up keeping a Yoruba mistress/ w.hore on the side
If his family is such that his father had kids indiscriminately or he was one of those kids ,that should scare you,an apple doesn't fall too far from the tree
Born again or no born again,makes no difference
And if the family doesn't accept you during courtship,you will be foolish to go ahead with the marriage and bring up children that will be hated by their fathers family
Just take care of your self and your siblings and move on and embrace the family that loves you
You don't need people like those of your fathers family in your life

Imagine calling little kids names

BeloHorizonte14:
Please oh,what about the part she said her mother's family blamed her and her siblings for their mother's death,isn't that worse(did you consider the psychological impact on them at that age)?

If the father's people are actually bad people according to your post,tell me; are the mother's people in anyway different?

softysparky:

So sad!
Most times it happens when a woman married against her parent's wish or she might have fought every member of her family and elope with the said husband. That's the reason why some of them are always ashamed to go back home even when being abused by their husbands.

softysparky:

So sad!
Most times it happens when a woman married against her parent's wish or she might have fought every member of her family and elope with the said husband. That's the reason why some of them are always ashamed to go back home even when being abused by their husbands.

coogar:


you don't totally hate but you partially hate? see - the whole outcome depends on the individuals involved. if the man & the woman put up a united front against their detractors, they would overcome.

softysparky:

So sad!
Most times it happens when a woman married against her parent's wish or she might have fought every member of her family and elope with the said husband. That's the reason why some of them are always ashamed to go back home even when being abused by their husbands.

lilspiceyy:

Well, notin like dat happened. There was a proper wedding. One thing I learnt from this situation is dat you get to know the true colour of pple wen sometin bad happens to you. Dats life

softysparky:

That's true sha. Life can be so unfair sometimes. Just take good care of your siblings, you will definitely laugh last.

coldgate:
Ok. Got married to the best man in the world for me. He was from the west. I am from the north. Had the best 7 years of my life with two great kids of both sexes.

Now, the crux of the matter is that being from a different ethnic group, I am now alienated and given the cold shoulder especially when I decided to demand for my rights as the only and legal wife. Time and again, all I keep hearing is that 'it is because you are not from our place' or 'This is how we do it here'.

I am doing alright by the way, but I have learnt my lesson. No inter-tribal marriage for my daughter because at best she might end up being treated as an appendage and not being fully integrated.

here:

infact if the man from an inter tribal union remarries 8/10 will be from his tribe.

jashar:
Sorry to say this. But people that suffer in inter-tribal marriages are usually people that married someone from the west.
I'm not a tribal person, I hate tribal bigotry with a passion. But sadly my folks from the West are not too accommodating of outsiders. Don't know why.

Cutehector:
can't even see myself marryn a yoruba woman to start with..

jashar:


You're here again... . Stop following me .
Shey the chase has begun?

Cutehector:
lol ur shakara too much....

jashar:


Hellllloooo!!!!!!! I'm a lady ;i like to be wooed

jashar:
Sorry to say this. But people that suffer in inter-tribal marriages are usually people that married someone from the west.
I'm not a tribal person, I hate tribal bigotry with a passion. But sadly my folks from the West are not too accommodating of outsiders. Don't know why.

lilspiceyy:
I knw of a lady dat got married 2 sm1 frm d west, it was a church wedding i was one of d flower girl, it was a military weddin, crosin of d sword etc afta d weding he took her 2 Lagos where he based. afta lyk 2 years i used 2 c her around i later learnt he already has a wife and kids. Wot baffles me most is dat d wife was present at the weddin wit her kids.wot i dnt undastnd is dat who r dey decievin or wot r they tryin 2 acheive from it.
Well, notin like dat happened. There was a proper wedding. One thing I learnt from this situation is dat you get to know the true colour of pple wen sometin bad happens to you. Dats life