I had to create this new moniker to Hide my Identity.
I have been married for 7 months now and at the beginning it was rosy but now i am dying in silence. My husband works in another state but i am planning to move there soon to be with him because of my job.I practically beg for his attention and calls. He hardly calls me or chat with me.I have begged and told him that regular communication is key to sustaining a marriage but he would not listen to me.He claims he is always busy, he wants to rest, bla bla bla but i am worried his love for me is dying slowly. please house, what do i do?

Typing......

Sister only few men r faithful when spouse live apart.
I suggest u hasken yr arrangement 2 go and live 2gather 2 safe yr marriage.

Now is not the time to worry but to act wisely. Worry never brings positive results. Now that you plan on relocating, what plans do you also have regarding work?

You really do not want to join your husband and become an idle wife.

Your marriage is dying slowly because of distance and you're still asking what to do?? Distance isn't healthy for a young relationship.. Both of you should have sorted this out before marriage, like who to relocate and join the other... Why marry when you ain't ready to stay together? ?

Your husband probably misses most of the things he should be enjoying as a married man like companionship, good food, someone to chat with after work, that joy and fulfilment et al.... You should probably be missing all these too..

Nne, you need to act urgently or watch your marriage go down the drain because of money pursuit.. You both need to act fast regarding who to relocate.. Your marriage is too young and needs that great bond...

Question was he like this before you got married or it's just a new development?
I have seen a situation where the guy in question hardly calls but truly loves the girl in question fortunately the girl understand the situation and now they are happily married, still the guy is still that way whenever I ask him why don't you call your family and even friends he replies by saying he his normally short for what to say and even when he wants to call and remember he has nothing to say or confused as to what to say he just postpone the call, my guy n.a. capital introvert

Cut the guy a little slack, maybe he is actually busy. Learn to trust your spouse.

He never calls you?
It's obvious he never loved you!
ALL men call their wives all the time to show they love them!
Am sure your husband is already sleeping with another woman!
Divorce him and be free of the wickedness of men!

7 months is too early for all of this drama. My advise is to try and make sure u r both under the same roof asap. That will solve the problem.

Why are you hiding your true identity? Or are you one of those feminists who have now taken those ideas home to your husband.

motherheart:
I had to create this new moniker to Hide my Identity.
I have been married for 7 months now and at the beginning it was rosy but now i am dying in silence. My husband works in another state but i am planning to move there soon to be with him because of my job.I practically beg for his attention and calls. He hardly calls me or chat with me.I have begged and told him that regular communication is key to sustaining a marriage but he would not listen to me.He claims he is always busy, he wants to rest, bla bla bla but i am worried his love for me is dying slowly. please house, what do i do?

First sorry for the stress

Secondly, If your husband doesn't call you, Why don't you call him? Besides, it is not his sole duty time call you or initiate communication though he has to respond whenever you do.

Thirdly, is it over the phone he complains of tiredness and busyness? Or when you get to unite physically?

Is his job really tasking?

How was he during courtship? If he was not Good at commnuicating, saying I do won't make him Good overnight.

Almost all marriages are rosy at the begining. 7months is too short to accept something could have triggered his nonchalance.
I presumed you courted with thesame long distance yet he chatted and if i'm not mistaken it was a short period courtship. I think you didnt know him enough.
If you like listen, but let me warn you, quiting your job just like that will be the most folish thing to do. You dont want to go end up with a man who does not love or have your time only to discover the job you let go was your only source of happiness and possibly a platform to move forward. First of all if the job is the hinderance, he should be the one to have complained or be complaining.
I advice you find out if that man really wants you in his life before you go get stuck. Do you people visit each other at all? If yes, what is the visit like?

Dude might actually be busy but that doesn't mean he won't communicate, the communication will only reduce so don't jump into conclusions just yet.

freecocoa:
Dude might actually be busy but that doesn't mean he won't communicate, the communication will only reduce so don't jump into conclusions just yet.

IMO,
No matter how busy a guy is, he calls the people, or person, that matter to him
Even if it is in short bursts, he keeps in touch

I have known people who are sooo busy that we need to buy them tranquilizers.....but they call. For a minute or less.
In any case, some women (I know for me it is true) are intuitive.....
.....once their radars go off that something is wrong, then maybe something is wrong

Our society makes for desperation and insincerity in dating and marriage....people pretend like no end, lie to the pits of , agree to all sorts of conditions...all in a bid to get married
Soon after the tie of the strangers, the cracks always show

Sad, really

milychocs:



IMO,
No matter how busy a guy is, he calls the people, or person, that matter to him
Even if it is in short bursts, he keeps in touch

I have known people who are sooo busy that we need to buy them tranquilizers.....but they call. For a minute or less.
In any case, some women (I know for me it is true) are intuitive.....
.....once their radars go off that something is wrong, then maybe something is wrong

Our society makes for desperation and insincerity in dating and marriage....people pretend like no end, lie to the pits of , agree to all sorts of conditions...all in a bid to get married
Soon after the tie of the strangers, the cracks always show

Sad, really

You know, these things don't work the same, it's different strokes for different folks.

Well, OP knows her hubby better, so if her gut's telling her something, she probably should listen, am just saying, it's not always best to assume things, let it be proven beyond reasonable doubts, before you conclude.

freecocoa:
You know, these things don't work the same, it's different strokes for different folks.

Well, OP knows her hubby better, so if her gut's telling her something, she probably should listen, am just saying, it's not always best to assume things, let it be proven beyond reasonable doubts, before you conclude.

I actually went off tangent...SMH
@OP....I hope the scenario I painted is not one that she is in
Wish her all the best

milychocs:

I actually went off tangent...SMH
@OP....I hope the scenario I painted is not one that she is in
Wish her all the best

You may not be too far from tangent. Nowadays when men want to marry, they look for the type of "wife material" that fits their lifestyle but ladies dont have the type of "husband material" they desire and accept only that. They just hear i want to marry you and guards are let down.
I bet you this man was chating well during courtship with this same distance. The people who trully dont talk much, also dont talk much during courtship. I find it difficult to swallow that a man is too busy to be with his new bride of only seven months.
For all we know he may have gone for a long distant marriage that will enable him continue a single life.

@op. NL is the wrongest place to seek advice on marital issues.
Whenever u see your hubby, sit him down and pour out your soul to him....you will either get a negative or positive result from him(take note the result could be verbal or attitude).
After two months you can decide on your next step. I am saying this because distance dont mean jack if u love someone. Im married with two kids to my wife of 8yrs and 6 of those years we have lived seperately because of work.
Let ur man speak too....he may have issues that he may be keeping from u not to worry(eg debts from wedding expense).
Naija is a difficult place.