₦airaland Forum

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

elantraceey:
Op please do not listen to this, two wrongs never make a right.

My heart bleed while reading your story and honestly I can't say I know how you feel but I seriously feel for you.

I thank God for your life that he could come at the right time to rescue you it simply means that all hope is not lost with your husband . I know it will be difficult to forgive and just forget it all but I know love conquers all , you can forgive him but first you need to ask him these questions.

Why did he cheat on you? ( For everything I believe there's a reason , whether it's from you or him, it could be something you don't know that push out, though it's no excuse but find out)

Is he ready to be faithful now?

It's one thing to say sorry and another thing to not go back to it , He could do all the begging and still go about cheating probably this time he'll make it more secretive so you need to know if he's ready to be genuinely faithful now, It will be difficult to trust him again but you'll just have to.


Then he'll need to change his friends, this might be difficult but I tell you if he still keeps his cheating friends, he's going to go right back to it and you know most politicians are womanizers , if he still continues to organize ladies for them then he's never going to stop cheating then delete the what app and Bbm from his phone, take charge of your marriage ma'am .



Please don't you ever think of committing suicide ever again , whenever the thought comes, just look at your kids and imagine what will happen to them, no man is worth dying for.

And also get a job asap, in case anything happens you'll not be at the losing end.

nwakaibeya1:
the challenge you have in your marriage is a serious spiritual problem promoted by evil marine spirits and this could be a problem caused by you unknowingly to you and this also could be a problem from your husband directly unknowingly to him and caused by him because many humanbeigns belong to this hidden nations and do not know and they are the people contending with Jesus christ and promoting evil in marriages and divorce and family evil wickedness and evil bondages in humanbeings and failures in businesses except you belong to their evil kingdom and know your way of appeal then you can escape and this are usually done in the night and thats why we call them night people,chameleons .now let us explain to you what this means :so many people are married to spiritual wives and husbands and the spiritual wife in the case of the husband is very jealous and will not give peace to the marriage of that husband in the physical world because she doesnt want to share her husband with a physical wife even though the man has children in the physical world and vice versa and same as the woman who has a spiritual husband but because those involved are usually blindfolded in the spirit they will never know or understand except in very rare cases and so many of these people mostly are in various churches and claiming to be born again and the pastors with them have no power to deal with the evil powers and hence they will be preaching and telling them God hates divorce when the woman is dead in silence and cannot be saved from this evil powers who are more powerful than the pastors and prophets who only appeal to those involved in some cases for relief creating the impression that there is no solution and they remain under heavy evil spiritual bondage and they cannot sleep at night nor have the commonest thing that real Jesuschrist promised to give to those who come to him which is peace and that's why they have no choice but to always dwell on prosperity and cage them with fasting and night vigil with so many message, sermons, topics that mean the same thing and interpretation spiritually but for how long will this deceit continue while they use the name of Jesuschrist to make merchandise of their bellies ? but behold we have the solution to deal silence finally the evil bondage with the light ,the mantle,the power that be which is available to us but highly unbelievable to humans of the world because we told them kingdom of God of justice has come and they will never believe because many humanbeings are bound to loss even the woman in question here will not agree to the solution if it is offered to her because so many humanbeigns are not market but watchout judgement has come upon the earth to expose and disgrace them finally and turn their honours to disgrace just now watch out if you don't see it physically you will see it spiritually but all will take place mainly spiritually because God is a spirit.Romans 11,21-22, Jeremiah 5.21,22, Mathew 13.13-14 dont forget ?those who are not bornagain are also in this and moslems and secular as well so do not be decieved you human beigns

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

onadana:
[color=#006600][/color]

Some of this sayings is pure semantics....the issue with cheating is you will have a stable girl and sleep with her without a condom...she has a boyfriend...who she sleeps with and he obviously has another side chic....the cycle goes on and on.Now just imagine one in the circle has Hiv....well?

nickibarb:
Please help me. I'm drowning.

I am feeling very depressed right now. My marriage has been mainly peaceful and chaos free. I did my part, cared for my husband, cooked for him, was available to satisfy his sexual needs 24/7, prayed for him, dressed like I did when we were dating, kept my body in tiptop shape even after 2 babies via c/s, everyone around me testifies to that both men and women.

In the wee hours of sunday morning, I was playing around with his phone cause i couldn't sleep. I realised he had WHATSAPP and BBM apps, it was surprising cause I had tried to get him to download them repeatedly so we can send pics to each other but he refused. He said he wasn't interested in them, so I deleted mine. Like every curious cat, I wanted to see what he was up to on it since he didn't tell me that he had finally downloaded it.

I saw that he had been flirting with almost 10 different girls, had met up with some, given money to a lot of them (even though our finances have not been in tiptop shape, but i've been persevering cause I know it is temporary - I have a great job offer with a N200k salary post-nysc but they are not ready for me to resume work yet, so I have no income for now). Before I digress too much, the chat that hurt me the most was a girl who asked my husband to be sending her N30k a month or week, i'm not sure again (my eyes were blurred with tears), and then whenever he needs her, he should just tell her which hotel to check into. Funny enough, they all know he is married with kids, they even ask him about his baby in the course of their chat. Another one that broke my heart was a girl he asked to arrange 15 girls for a political event being hosted by his older politician friend and the girls should be ready to provide TLC for them afterwards. From the messages, it was clear that he slept with this particular girl after that event because she reminded him that the money she received is not a replacement for the one he is supposed to give her (i'm guessing after a previous sexcapade).

I am so heartbroken, I don't know what to do. I feel like I gave my marriage my all, I followed all the rules of a good wife, I read books, i don't know what I could have done differently. My husband told me everyday how much he was in love with me for the 2 years we dated prior to marriage (we've been married 2 years and 6 months). I saw no trait of promiscuity in him. I trusted him 100% so I never policed him concerning his whereabouts (it's not really in my nature to be like that). I never saw this betrayal coming so it has been very difficult for me to deal with this. I had an emotional breakdown on sunday night when he went for a meeting with the new governor of our state (he is related to him). He came home at midnight to see me unconscious. I woke up in a hospital, apparently I had overdosed on pills. At that time, I wanted to die to get away from my life, but now I didn't die, i'm happy he came home in time to rescue me. I mean he could have easily stayed out all night because it was a special day (post-inauguration celebration). I don't know how I could have thought of leaving my two little kids less that 2 years old. This man has made me CRAZY. If my family hears about this suicidal attempt, they will make me leave him immediately. My fear is, what happens to my little kids, I don't want another woman to come and maltreat them. We were legally married but not in Nigeria. I don't know if Nigerian courts would recognise our marriage certificate. I don't want to lose my kids. I feel like God has allowed a trial too great for me to handle to come my way. I feel like he over-rated my strength. I am just 27. Isn't it too soon for me to face this kind of life challenge? God knows I married this man out of love, not for money, my parents tried their best for me. They sent me abroad, that's where I met my husband, I didn't even know his family in Nigeria was relatively well-to-do. Some people say if your husband cheats on you, it's nemesis for what you did to other women's husbands. God knows I am innocent. I have tried to find out why my husband who says he loves me everyday, will go out of his way to flirt with girls and sleep with them, (it's not like it's all of them that are coming on to him, he is actually doing most of the chasing). He cannot give me a reason for it, he is just begging me to let it go. I have tried but I'm still hurting, i'm still obsessing about it. How can I heal? I don't want to die and leave my children. How can I stop this pain that is eating me up?

I have read all the articles I can find online about how to get past a cheating husband, it doesn't seem to help. I asked my husband if he used a condom and if I need to go and check for STDs. He is not able to answer me directly but says we can both go and get checked out. I feel like God has forsaken me and I don't deserve it. I have tried to be a good girl all my life. I need this pain in my heart to stop. I need to be sane again.

matingo:
My dear, u nd to wake up fast, marriage is not a bed of rose, not wat u read in novels. For me it's better to have a flirty husband than to have a nagging one, talking frm experience.
Cheers!

SAMBARRY:
E no dey hard to know the women that have been highly battered and mentally abused by their husbands that they don't know what is normal again. You go fear consolation advice "you're lucky he still cares for you" Tufiaaaaaaaaakwa



KanwuliaJara come and see the normal every day stories again o

oseod:
Ur intellect radiates ur beauty woman
May every other woman look like queen kong in your husbands eye
Your husband will have eyes for only you and will never give you cause to cry
May your husband be among the not all of them you mentioned

Oh....and if you're not married may I be the husband in the prayers

limamintruth:
Well personally, i do not agree with the assertion that 'its man's nature to cheat'. Just because alot of men cheat doesnt automatically mean its a gender-based thing. I for one believe in the sanctity of marriage as a Christian. Lets learn to do to others what we want others to do to us please.
Cheating in marriage/relationship is not restricted to the menfolk alone. Remember these cheating men do the deed with ladies; & not fellow men. And while these ladies are into it primarily for the money/goodies, the men indulge in it mosttyms for the few minutes pleasure they get.
@OP, since you said your husband has apologised to you already & is now remorseful, i'l advise you give him a second chance and see if he will really keep to his word not to cheat again.
And if he dares go back to his usual philandering ways later on, its then you will have to divorce his unrepentant a..ss immediately. God bless!

prezy1:
For the sake of ur kids just let it go, i know u cant forget just Forgive him. Try to PRAY FOR HIM DIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. killing ur self is not an option. my main advice for u is that 1. JUST MAKE UP UR MIND THAT U WILL GET HIM BACK IT MIGHT NOT BE THAT EASY COS HE HAS BEING DOING FOR LONG. 2. TRY TO HOLD AND CONTROL UR EMOTION. i know how u feel. THere is no perfect Marriage but we can make ur home be the best. Build ur home with prayer Proverbs 14:1.

Prettydiamond:
diamond is not a title or somefn, diamond is my name!

Prettydiamond:
diamond is not a title or somefn, diamond is my name!

Babymama1:
Thank you
The cheating men are most likely cheating with women who are also cheating on their men
So it's foolish for men to say men are entitled to cheat
These same girls are sleeping with their boyfriends,fiancé or husband and also sleeping with you and others

limamintruth:
That is exactly my point. We forget that these runs girls dating married men are very smart. Thus in most cases, these girls maintain steady relationship aside their sugar-daddy relationship cos they well know that the married guys have almost zero intention of marrying them & are just with them solely for fun.
And unfortunately, their unsuspecting fiances/boyfriends will not know that their lovely girlfriends are cheating on them.
Infact, i'm tempted to assert that ladies may even surpass the men in the cheating game sef cos we have alot of married women that indulge in sugar-mommyism & infidelity in nigeria at present (speaking from personal experience myself).

haul:
Bro everyone that cheat can't giv u a reason,is just a natural gene,we only trying to cage ourselves by whitemen format,men are naturally polygamous dont let us deceive oursef with lawful marriage,me nofit do legal marriage,even th days of bible dem dey do polygamy,our past elders praticed it,is evident in our environ-population.ladies are more than men according to population,even d bible make us know in isaiah that it will later be 7women to 1man this proves polygamy is d future,we man we also can't explain why we do it,its a reflex action, the best thing these ladies need to realise is,catchup with reality to know they need to accomodate other female and agree polygamy is here to stay,just my side of this whole thing

totalhouse:
Oh, you dey use style dey scope and toast my Timothy, I will profile and google you. ..lol
Thanks for the compliments.She is a good wife material and a blessing/gift to would be husband. I'm not giving her out yet,she needs to have her masters first. ..whoever can wait wt necessary requirements shall be her prince charming. ..I heaaaar..case close

oseod:
Women!! On your marks! Set!! Oya run from this guy!!!!!!! Jst keep runnin and don't look back!!! Don't say I didn't warn u oo!!
..........unless he has money sha, then you're allowed to moonwalk. Or *moonrun* depending on the size of his pocket

nickibarb:
Please help me. I'm drowning.

I am feeling very depressed right now. My marriage has been mainly peaceful and chaos free. I did my part, cared for my husband, cooked for him, was available to satisfy his sexual needs 24/7, prayed for him, dressed like I did when we were dating, kept my body in tiptop shape even after 2 babies via c/s, everyone around me testifies to that both men and women.

In the wee hours of sunday morning, I was playing around with his phone cause i couldn't sleep. I realised he had WHATSAPP and BBM apps, it was surprising cause I had tried to get him to download them repeatedly so we can send pics to each other but he refused. He said he wasn't interested in them, so I deleted mine. Like every curious cat, I wanted to see what he was up to on it since he didn't tell me that he had finally downloaded it.

I saw that he had been flirting with almost 10 different girls, had met up with some, given money to a lot of them (even though our finances have not been in tiptop shape, but i've been persevering cause I know it is temporary - I have a great job offer with a N200k salary post-nysc but they are not ready for me to resume work yet, so I have no income for now). Before I digress too much, the chat that hurt me the most was a girl who asked my husband to be sending her N30k a month or week, i'm not sure again (my eyes were blurred with tears), and then whenever he needs her, he should just tell her which hotel to check into. Funny enough, they all know he is married with kids, they even ask him about his baby in the course of their chat. Another one that broke my heart was a girl he asked to arrange 15 girls for a political event being hosted by his older politician friend and the girls should be ready to provide TLC for them afterwards. From the messages, it was clear that he slept with this particular girl after that event because she reminded him that the money she received is not a replacement for the one he is supposed to give her (i'm guessing after a previous sexcapade).

I am so heartbroken, I don't know what to do. I feel like I gave my marriage my all, I followed all the rules of a good wife, I read books, i don't know what I could have done differently. My husband told me everyday how much he was in love with me for the 2 years we dated prior to marriage (we've been married 2 years and 6 months). I saw no trait of promiscuity in him. I trusted him 100% so I never policed him concerning his whereabouts (it's not really in my nature to be like that). I never saw this betrayal coming so it has been very difficult for me to deal with this. I had an emotional breakdown on sunday night when he went for a meeting with the new governor of our state (he is related to him). He came home at midnight to see me unconscious. I woke up in a hospital, apparently I had overdosed on pills. At that time, I wanted to die to get away from my life, but now I didn't die, i'm happy he came home in time to rescue me. I mean he could have easily stayed out all night because it was a special day (post-inauguration celebration). I don't know how I could have thought of leaving my two little kids less that 2 years old. This man has made me CRAZY. If my family hears about this suicidal attempt, they will make me leave him immediately. My fear is, what happens to my little kids, I don't want another woman to come and maltreat them. We were legally married but not in Nigeria. I don't know if Nigerian courts would recognise our marriage certificate. I don't want to lose my kids. I feel like God has allowed a trial too great for me to handle to come my way. I feel like he over-rated my strength. I am just 27. Isn't it too soon for me to face this kind of life challenge? God knows I married this man out of love, not for money, my parents tried their best for me. They sent me abroad, that's where I met my husband, I didn't even know his family in Nigeria was relatively well-to-do. Some people say if your husband cheats on you, it's nemesis for what you did to other women's husbands. God knows I am innocent. I have tried to find out why my husband who says he loves me everyday, will go out of his way to flirt with girls and sleep with them, (it's not like it's all of them that are coming on to him, he is actually doing most of the chasing). He cannot give me a reason for it, he is just begging me to let it go. I have tried but I'm still hurting, i'm still obsessing about it. How can I heal? I don't want to die and leave my children. How can I stop this pain that is eating me up?

I have read all the articles I can find online about how to get past a cheating husband, it doesn't seem to help. I asked my husband if he used a condom and if I need to go and check for STDs. He is not able to answer me directly but says we can both go and get checked out. I feel like God has forsaken me and I don't deserve it. I have tried to be a good girl all my life. I need this pain in my heart to stop. I need to be sane again.

anonimi:
Before I even opened this thread, I checked your profile and saw your other thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/2309230/ive-been-combing-consciencewas-wrong


The signs were there.
All the best.

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it