there was this case of a lady who always wanted to get alone with a man from her place. Fortunately one man came alone. They met briefly and exchanged nos. No one contacted each other till after one year. D man called the lady and reminded her who he was. After that no one called till 2months letter d lady called and d man took d call. There d relationship kick-started. Meanwhile d lady cant even place this guy's face or appearance but the guy still does. Even knowing so many things about this lady's family cos they were from d same autonomous community. He kept it from this lady till he came back and wants to meet d lady. Made her know where he comes from amd also other things abt him. Meanwhile acccording to the lady. The man always want her to understand that he wants her for ever with d tins he says. But she is too scared to get more commited to him as he mentioned he has a son of 5 or 6yrs old with a lady from bonny. And that he wants a lady from his pllace for marriage nt that far. Wen d lady asked him why would he pregnant a lady from bonny bt wants a lady from his hometown for marriage. He said d lady trappped him with d pregnancy yet he doesnt want to marry her but cares for the son.
As it stands she is confused if she should continue or end the relationship now. Eventhough she is inlove with this man who inturn loves her and wants to be with her forever as he confessed to her.
Pls anyone with a better advice for her and how to cope through this relationship should help her out.

Op,i bet you are the lady,please stop beating around the bricks.shuooo,all this my 'friend this,my neibor that,has to stop.you guys should learn how to come outta the closets.

Ok

The man already has a '1st son' which in Nigeria, means a whole lot.... That boy is the head of the family in the absence of his dad, in addition to other entitlements eg, most customs in Nigeria favor the first son in the distribution of the man's property when he dies, and also, some key family decisions cannot be validly made in the first son's absence...so, there is a high possibility that her kids' interests will most likely be subordinate to that of the first sons'


Point is... She marries him at her own peril... In Nigeria, Women are not fully certain of their priority in a man's home until they have given him a 'first son'... Since the man already has one, how else does she intend to secure her future and that of her kids in the man's house?

Anyway

If she wanna turn a blind eye to Nigerian society's norms, believing that she will find a way around it, then let love lead her where she desires

com on lady,we know u r d one

Lol.. Op you are hilarious.

Men get married to ladies with kids why can't the reverse be the case. It's better he was honest in letting you know that he had a kid.

Listen to your heart baby... Does he meet up to 70%of the things you love to see in a man?
If he does go for the aisle

ahnie:
Op,i bet you are the lady,please stop beating around the bricks.

honestly am not the one. But then placed urself on her shoes. It never easy dating a man wit a kid. I was once in that condition. But that was a different thing cos mine then turned muslin & gave me conditions i had to pull out. Besides mine was that d man was married and lost his wife after 1year.

No pretences ma'am,but if he has an excellent caracter,i would go for him.

ahnie:
No pretences ma'am,but if he has an excellent caracter,i would go for him.

Hmm

Don't search too far.
I have an excellent character

Is the son posing a threat to their relationship? Is he married to the babymama? Does your friend love this guy and is the love well reciprocated? Answer these and I'll start from there..

You wish.

Bennyzino:

Hmm
Don't search too far. I have an excellent character

young man,i ve bn taken.

ahnie:
You wish.young man,i ve bn taken.

Ok matured lady

The lady trapped him with pregnancy?

Pls don't marry a man that can't own up to his responsibility. Did she impregnate herself?
Somehow it is her fault that he didn't use protection.

Pls pls don't get involved in his mess.

pwerrymansion:
Is the son posing a threat to their relationship? Is he married to the babymama? Does your friend love this guy and is the love well reciprocated? Answer these and I'll start from there..

questn 1. She hasn't even met the son yet.
2. He is not married to the baby mama
3. This lady loves the man and hav always wanted some1 who understands her esp. Cos they come from the same autonomoius community likewise the guy. Besides the guy seemed to love her cos he confessed he want her to be her forever accordingly to this lady though the relationship is abit new

buygala:
Ok

The man already has a '1st son' which in Nigeria, means a whole lot.... That boy is the head of the family in the absence of his dad, in addition to other entitlements eg, most customs in Nigeria favor the first son in the distribution of the man's property when he dies, and also, some key family decisions cannot be validly made in the first son's absence...so, there is a high possibility that her kids' interests will most likely be subordinate to that of the first sons'


Point is... She marries him at her own peril... In Nigeria, Women are not fully certain of their priority in a man's home until they have given him a 'first son'... Since the man already has one, how else does she intend to secure her future and that of her kids in the man's house?

Anyway

If she wanna turn a blind eye to Nigerian society's norms, believing that you will find a way around it, then let love lead her where she desires

U r right. I guess thats her fear. Otherwise is not a big deal if both loves each other. Besides the man and d baby mama were never married. If she can take the boy and groom her to be her son. Aside this traditions and beliefs of the igbo people

A man who blames his actions on other people, instead of simply taking responsibility for his mistakes... Hmmm marry him at your own expense o

Hmmmn.




Stalking
Secrecy
Cunny
Lies








'the lady' made up 'her' mind already on what 'the lady' wants to do. What ever advice given to 'the lady' here will not count.

prettyblaqy:

questn 1. She hasn't even met the son yet.
2. He is not married to the baby mama
3. This lady loves the man and hav always wanted some1 who understands her esp. Cos they come from the same autonomoius community likewise the guy. Besides the guy seemed to love her cos he confessed he want her to be her forever accordingly to this lady though the relationship is abit new

how old is your friend? I hope thisdecision is borne out of love and not desperation, cos if am not mistaking u wrote that he's the only guy to have shown interest in her in a long time. Does she just want this man cos they are from the same community and share similar tenets? How can she be even concerned abt a boy she's not even met? My dear matters of the heart should be dealt and handled cautiously. Pls she should think these through in her lucid state ofmind. She's amenable for any decision she takes! Caution dear.

prettyblaqy:
there was this case of a lady who always wanted to get alone with a man from her place. Fortunately one man came alone. They met briefly and exchanged nos. No one contacted each other till after one year. D man called the lady and reminded her who he was. After that no one called till 2months letter d lady called and d man took d call. There d relationship kick-started. Meanwhile d lady cant even place this guy's face or appearance but the guy still does. Even knowing so many things about this lady's family cos they were from d same autonomous community. He kept it from this lady till he came back and wants to meet d lady. Made her know where he comes from amd also other things abt him. Meanwhile acccording to the lady. The man always want her to understand that he wants her for ever with d tins he says. But she is too scared to get more commited to him as he mentioned he has a son of 5 or 6yrs old with a lady from bonny. And that he wants a lady from his pllace for marriage nt that far. Wen d lady asked him why would he pregnant a lady from bonny bt wants a lady from his hometown for marriage. He said d lady trappped him with d pregnancy yet he doesnt want to marry her but cares for the son.
As it stands she is confused if she should continue or end the relationship now. Eventhough she is inlove with this man who inturn loves her and wants to be with her forever as he confessed to her.
Pls anyone with a better advice for her and how to cope through this relationship should help her out.

Why is she confused? Why focus on the innocent child? He didn't ask to be born, and now that he's here, he deserves complete access, love, and dedication from his father, irrespective of what you think or feel. Good thing the man cares about his son.

Your gripe or rather, your "issues" should be with the man. I can't even call them "issues" because this man has been plain honest right from the start. So what exactly do you want does this friend of yours want the man to do about his son five year old son? Poison him to make you her happy?

Go and table your fears and concern to the man and leave his son out of it. If you aren't ready to be a step mother, then leave them both alone and look for someone else.

EfemenaXY:


Why is she confused? Why focus on the innocent child? He didn't ask to be born, and now that he's here, he deserves complete access, love, and dedication from his father, irrespective of what you think or feel. Good thing the man cares about his son.

Your gripe or rather, your "issues" should be with the man. I can't even call them "issues" because this man has been plain honest right from the start. So what exactly do you want does this friend of yours want the man to do about his son five year old son? Poison him to make you her happy?

Go and table your fears and concern to the man and leave his son out of it. If you aren't ready to be a step mother, then leave them both alone and look for someone else.

if uve got only insults to render as advice better stay off. Ur
opinion doesnt count here. Learn how to write in public.

prettyblaqy:
there was this case of a lady who always wanted to get alone with a man from her place. Fortunately one man came alone. They met briefly and exchanged nos. No one contacted each other till after one year. D man called the lady and reminded her who he was. After that no one called till 2months letter d lady called and d man took d call. There d relationship kick-started. Meanwhile d lady cant even place this guy's face or appearance but the guy still does. Even knowing so many things about this lady's family cos they were from d same autonomous community. He kept it from this lady till he came back and wants to meet d lady. Made her know where he comes from amd also other things abt him. Meanwhile acccording to the lady. The man always want her to understand that he wants her for ever with d tins he says. But she is too scared to get more commited to him as he mentioned he has a son of 5 or 6yrs old with a lady from bonny. And that he wants a lady from his pllace for marriage nt that far. Wen d lady asked him why would he pregnant a lady from bonny bt wants a lady from his hometown for marriage. He said d lady trappped him with d pregnancy yet he doesnt want to marry her but cares for the son.
As it stands she is confused if she should continue or end the relationship now. Eventhough she is inlove with this man who inturn loves her and wants to be with her forever as he confessed to her.
Pls anyone with a better advice for her and how to cope through this relationship should help her out.

These two people haven't even met since that chance encounter and exchange of numbers abi
She can't even remember his face
You see how these girls get themselves in trouble and then cry foul later

Babymama1:


These two people haven't even met since that chance encounter and exchange of numbers abi
She can't even remember his face
You see how these girls get themselves in trouble and then cry foul later

pls my dear when u read try to understand. Dont concluded without reading to d end

prettyblaqy:

if uve got only insults to render as advice better stay off. Ur
opinion doesnt count here. Learn how to write in public.

Kindly point out the insults in my post ma'am.

I think what you'll find insulting is you taking people for a ride here. How come you know so much about the ins and outs of this couple's relationship and yet you claim you aren't the lady in question?

ahnie:
Op,i bet you are the lady,please stop beating around the bricks.

.

So many stories about my friend this, my cousin that, my class mate is the one......Buhahahaha

So basically, the man didn't marry his babymama just because she's not from his hometown/ village/ whateves?

If that's the case, I think it's a red flag. He KNEW he wouldn't marry outside his town but he could bannng without protection?
PS: nothing wrong in marrying a man with a child per say.

cococandy:
The lady trapped her with pregnancy?

Pls don't marry a man that can't own up to his responsibility. Did she impregnate herself?
Somehow it is her fault that he didn't use protection.

Pls pls don't get involved in his mess.

The Bonny lady's vj is a trap

prettyblaqy:

pls my dear when u read try to understand. Dont concluded without reading to d end

Akirika!

bukatyne:


The Bonny lady's vj is a trap

Don't mind him.

so the guy doesnt practice safe sex in this day and age.


lord have mercy.

@OP,
There is nothing wrong in marrying a man with a child out of wedlock if he is a good man.
Try and get to meet him and his child and be your natural self.
Take good care of the child as you take good care of the father. Every body makes mistakes at one time in their life. This man has owed up and told you the truth from the get go,so try to trust him and let it flow from there.
In all follow your heart. Love issues can be so complicated.
Above all I wish you good luck,dear.

Nonso23:
Op go on with the marriage. The man is a very honest and open man.
How are you even sure another man will ask you to marry him if you leave this golden opportunity
Remember, a bird in hand is worth more than 10 in the bush.

You are from the same autonomous community sef. Any wahala between the two of you can be easily settled. This is a match made in heaven!

Besides, he has proven that he is very fertile and sexually potent. I can guarantee you twins in that marriage

This is just wrong-- doing something because you fear you'll never finds better alternative.

Hmmm the Op posted this as if having a son is like having a disease....

Na wetin? Based on your write up all you need is a background check if the man is still getting down on the other woman.

If nothing, why will you be wasting precious time over nothing thinking as if the man is leprous.

If you are too scared the son is gonna chase you out of the mansion if anything happens to the man then marry him legally. So that every one will be secured. Also let him Draft a will. This just not an issue at all.