A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? - Romance

A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? (965 Views)

1 Reply (Go Down)

A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by jhubril(op): 1:50pm On Jun 09, 2015

While extolling the immense contributions which digital technology has always rendered to our mode of communication,it is worthwhile to discuss the cons that often accompany it,with a special emphasis on pre- marital and marital relationships as they struggle to meet some of the challenges in our age of rapid changes and colliding cultures. The big moral question that we may like to ask is should partners have equal access to each other's phones.

In every relationship,the significance of trust can't be downplayed. It is the only foundation for confidence and fidelity. But it is surprising how it soon suffers at the hand of bellicosity after a startling discovery is made by either of the partners who are in love. This exactly captures and describes the experience of Tina,a 22 year old banker,who became suicidal after browsing through the messages on her boyfriend's phone. She had trouble dealing with his unfaithful act and soon abandoned herself to an uncontrolled lifestyle.

Kunle,27,would have known nothing of Mariam's sexual escapades with Alhaji Turaki,had he missed the chance to listen to the voice messages exchanged between them. There he sat,completely bitter,inside his Toyota mulling over how to respond to Mariam's debauchery. Finally,he summed up that a bottle of acid would actually be a final solution.

Believe it or not,someone somewhere in this society is either a Tina or a Kunle,differing only in their looks but not actual experience. So,can we then embrace this exciting occasion for the excercise of the critical faculty: Should partners have equal access to each other's phones?

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Nobody: 1:59pm On Jun 09, 2015

Urghhh..... angry

Why is this soo long!

Such a simple question!!

Answer: yes and no. It depends on the motives!

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Mimienudles(f): 2:20pm On Jun 09, 2015

'yes' doesn't mean partner isn't cheating n 'no' doesn't mean he/she is faithful. Cheating is a choice

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Mhizizzy(f): 2:22pm On Jun 09, 2015

Sure

It let's one detect cheating or chronic partners

1 Like

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Sexxkillz: 3:53pm On Jun 09, 2015

[color=#000030]The issue of trust is a weighty and long one. Trust can mean a lot of different things. It's very naïve of anyone to think that access to your partner's phone, or non access to it denotes trust, or lack of it.

For starters, if you trust your partner like you claim you do, why would you want to check their phones? Checking their phones already confirms the obvious fact that you do not trust them. A cheat is a cheat. If I want to cheat on you, I can give you my phones to hold, and I'll still be cheating on you! The mindset that having access to your partner's phone checkmates their cheating is simplistic. It leaves you more vulnerable to be cheated on. If I am a cheat and I notice how frequent you check my phone, I'll change my modus operandi. Now, you'll still be oblivious to my change in mode of operation and be thinking how trustworthy I am etc, until you find me cheating thru another method. . . That leaves you more devastated because I have proved you to be very clueless, and nothing hurts more than being cheated on, and being made to look like a fool while being cheated on.

There are several other ways to gain the trust of someone. You have to pass a series of tests and not just allowing access to your phone. In fact, to me, allowing me access to your phone doesn't mean that I trust you. Not that I'll want to have anything to do with your phone, by the way. A phone is a private property. No matter how close you are to a human, you need your private time. A phone is that private. It shouldn't be touched, especially on the basis of using it as a template of trust.

When you trust someone wholeheartedly, you have trusted them with everything, including your life. That also silently means that YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHECK THEIR PHONES PERIODICALLY! If you do not trust someone, or you have reasons to doubt their trust, never ever lie to them that you trust them. . . In the two examples the OP gave, those are prime examples of people who failed to see trust beyond their partners allowing them access to their phones. If you have the innate ability of studying the body language of another human, simple things like looking into their eyes while they talk can reveal a lot to you, but that's story for another day.

Phones are private and should not be accessed without permission. There are better and more effective ways to detect someone who is betraying your trust without even touching their phones. Exploring those avenues will put you on a higher pedestal than the naïve and simplistic method of going thru a phone to detect cheating and what not.[/color]

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Nobody: 3:59pm On Jun 09, 2015

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Adesiji77: 4:14pm On Jun 09, 2015

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]The issue of trust is a weighty and long one. Trust can mean a lot of different things. It's very naïve of anyone to think that access to your partner's phone, or non access to it denotes trust, or lack of it.

For starters, if you trust your partner like you claim you do, why would you want to check their phones? Checking their phones already confirms the obvious fact that you do not trust them. A cheat is a cheat. If I want to cheat on you, I can give you my phones to hold, and I'll still be cheating on you! The mindset that having access to your partner's phone checkmates their cheating is simplistic. It leaves you more vulnerable to be cheated on. If I am a cheat and I notice how frequent you check my phone, I'll change my modus operandi. Now, you'll still be oblivious to my change in mode of operation and be thinking how trustworthy I am etc, until you find me cheating thru another method. . . That leaves you more devastated because I have proved you to be very clueless, and nothing hurts more than being cheated on, and being made to look like a fool while being cheated on.

There are several other ways to gain the trust of someone. You have to pass a series of tests and not just allowing access to your phone. In fact, to me, allowing me access to your phone doesn't mean that I trust you. Not that I'll want to have anything to do with your phone, by the way. A phone is a private property. No matter how close you are to a human, you need your private time. A phone is that private. It shouldn't be touched, especially on the basis of using it as a template of trust.

When you trust someone wholeheartedly, you have trusted them with everything, including your life. That also silently means that YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHECK THEIR PHONES PERIODICALLY! If you do not trust someone, or you have reasons to doubt their trust, never ever lie to them that you trust them. . . In the two examples the OP gave, those are prime examples of people who failed to see trust beyond their partners allowing them access to their phones. If you have the innate ability of studying the body language of another human, simple things like looking into their eyes while they talk can reveal a lot to you, but that's story for another day.

Phones are private and should not be accessed without permission. There are better and more effective ways to detect someone who is betraying your trust without even touching their phones. Exploring those avenues will put you on a higher pedestal than the naïve and simplistic method of going thru a phone to detect cheating and what not.[/color]

One carton of Orijin for you! cheesy

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Nobody: 6:42pm On Jun 09, 2015

Good golly!

Get a blog already! Or just ask seun to give you your own forum. You might wanna consider gettin' paid for your posts, I mean it's just sooo..............something! sad

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]The issue of trust is a weighty and long one. Trust can mean a lot of different things. It's very naïve of anyone to think that access to your partner's phone, or non access to it denotes trust, or lack of it.

For starters, if you trust your partner like you claim you do, why would you want to check their phones? Checking their phones already confirms the obvious fact that you do not trust them. A cheat is a cheat. If I want to cheat on you, I can give you my phones to hold, and I'll still be cheating on you! The mindset that having access to your partner's phone checkmates their cheating is simplistic. It leaves you more vulnerable to be cheated on. If I am a cheat and I notice how frequent you check my phone, I'll change my modus operandi. Now, you'll still be oblivious to my change in mode of operation and be thinking how trustworthy I am etc, until you find me cheating thru another method. . . That leaves you more devastated because I have proved you to be very clueless, and nothing hurts more than being cheated on, and being made to look like a fool while being cheated on.

There are several other ways to gain the trust of someone. You have to pass a series of tests and not just allowing access to your phone. In fact, to me, allowing me access to your phone doesn't mean that I trust you. Not that I'll want to have anything to do with your phone, by the way. A phone is a private property. No matter how close you are to a human, you need your private time. A phone is that private. It shouldn't be touched, especially on the basis of using it as a template of trust.

When you trust someone wholeheartedly, you have trusted them with everything, including your life. That also silently means that YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHECK THEIR PHONES PERIODICALLY! If you do not trust someone, or you have reasons to doubt their trust, never ever lie to them that you trust them. . . In the two examples the OP gave, those are prime examples of people who failed to see trust beyond their partners allowing them access to their phones. If you have the innate ability of studying the body language of another human, simple things like looking into their eyes while they talk can reveal a lot to you, but that's story for another day.

Phones are private and should not be accessed without permission. There are better and more effective ways to detect someone who is betraying your trust without even touching their phones. Exploring those avenues will put you on a higher pedestal than the naïve and simplistic method of going thru a phone to detect cheating and what not.[/color]

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Sexxkillz: 7:44pm On Jun 09, 2015

Xiadnat:
Good golly!

Get a blog already! Or just ask seun to give you your own forum. You might wanna consider gettin' paid for your posts, I mean it's just sooo..............something!

[color=#000030]Lol. [/color]

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by zealot4me(f): 7:48pm On Jun 09, 2015

^^^ well said sexxkillz,
missed ya posts kiss

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by Sexxkillz: 7:58pm On Jun 09, 2015

zealot4me:
^^^ well said sexxkillz,
missed ya posts

[color=#000030] cheesy

[/color]

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by czarr(m): 8:07pm On Jun 09, 2015

Nooo! privacy is healthy.

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by ify84(m): 11:25am On Jun 11, 2015

Xiadnat:
Good golly!

Get a blog already! Or just ask seun to give you your own forum. You might wanna consider gettin' paid for your posts, I mean it's just sooo..............something!

oga, i pm u, u didnt reply yet...can i get a number to watsapp u...

Re: A Question Of Trust: Should Partners Have Equal Access To Each Other's Phones? by loswhite(m): 2:51pm On Jun 11, 2015

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]The issue of trust is a weighty and long one. Trust can mean a lot of different things. It's very naïve of anyone to think that access to your partner's phone, or non access to it denotes trust, or lack of it.

For starters, if you trust your partner like you claim you do, why would you want to check their phones? Checking their phones already confirms the obvious fact that you do not trust them. A cheat is a cheat. If I want to cheat on you, I can give you my phones to hold, and I'll still be cheating on you! The mindset that having access to your partner's phone checkmates their cheating is simplistic. It leaves you more vulnerable to be cheated on. If I am a cheat and I notice how frequent you check my phone, I'll change my modus operandi. Now, you'll still be oblivious to my change in mode of operation and be thinking how trustworthy I am etc, until you find me cheating thru another method. . . That leaves you more devastated because I have proved you to be very clueless, and nothing hurts more than being cheated on, and being made to look like a fool while being cheated on.

There are several other ways to gain the trust of someone. You have to pass a series of tests and not just allowing access to your phone. In fact, to me, allowing me access to your phone doesn't mean that I trust you. Not that I'll want to have anything to do with your phone, by the way. A phone is a private property. No matter how close you are to a human, you need your private time. A phone is that private. It shouldn't be touched, especially on the basis of using it as a template of trust.

When you trust someone wholeheartedly, you have trusted them with everything, including your life. That also silently means that YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHECK THEIR PHONES PERIODICALLY! If you do not trust someone, or you have reasons to doubt their trust, never ever lie to them that you trust them. . . In the two examples the OP gave, those are prime examples of people who failed to see trust beyond their partners allowing them access to their phones. If you have the innate ability of studying the body language of another human, simple things like looking into their eyes while they talk can reveal a lot to you, but that's story for another day.

Phones are private and should not be accessed without permission. There are better and more effective ways to detect someone who is betraying your trust without even touching their phones. Exploring those avenues will put you on a higher pedestal than the naïve and simplistic method of going thru a phone to detect cheating and what not.[/color]

Most ppl that go thru their partners phone are already suspecting their partners. All they need is confirmation tho. As they a suspect is innocent until proven lipsrsealed

1 Like

1 Reply

People Who Farts In Front Of Their Partners Have A More Lasting Relationship!!! • A Question For The Female Money freaks. • Lady Finally Replies Me After I Asked Her A Question 2years Ago On Fb Chat. • 2 • 3 • 4

Come In And Answer This Question. • My Mum Is Interfering In My Relationship • Ladies, How Many B.fs Do U Have?