Tallesty1:
This relationship problem is












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Tallesty1:
This relationship problem is new.

We are still working on a solution, check again later

Back in 2002/03, A friend gave me his contact number when we were thru with school but forgot to mention that it was actually for his brother who is married (back then, most of us din't have cellphones na..na "c/o" we de do ). So I sent a general "Thanks for being a friend" text to all my friends who I had their numbers saved....next thing I know, im getting a text from this number telling me "Whoever you are, Thank you for ruining my marriage"

I called back to inquire on the reason behind the response and hez like.."My wife dosn't believe i'm not cheating on her".. Told him I got the number from his bro, apologised & wished him well..

abios22:
I don't know if this is suppose to be a joke! because it's quite funny.

That marriage was already in the doom stage, they just needed to have an excuse for it to happen.

Brother no be ur fault jare.. You had nothing to do, just providing the matches for them to burn it

Oduok:
I entered facebook yesternight and saw notification that it was my secondary school friend's birthday. I then loggedout, scroll my phone and saw the friend's number. We've not met for the past five years, we've not come in contact. The last I gathered was that she was married. Was not aware of the ceremony, was not invited and didn't attend. So I thought well that by now she will no longer have my phone number. So I draft a few line of message that went thus: "Happy Birthday - frm Engr. Id Oduok". I remembered quite well she used to be a Jehovah's Witness member . That they don't celebrate many things. But little did I know that it was an offense to even wish them well on any instance. This morning she called me. I recognized the voice but what I heard was: "Brother Joshua Akpan, good morning and how is your family..." I then told her it was me her schoolmate in secondary school. She recalled but was now wondering how she saved my number as Brother Joshua Akpan. That the husband had seen the message whose sender was Brother Joshua Akapn while the messaged beared Engr. Id Oduok. She later called again this afternoon that that message is causing a lot of trouble. That the husband has scattered her phone and that she is very angry with me for tearing her marriage. Please i'm feeling so guilty but i'm so very innocent.

edwife:


They must have been through a similar problem like that before,this can't possibly destroy their marriage if there were not a crack already.

Op no fault of yours,just send an apology to them.

And please don't contact her again or any other woman you lost touch with for over 5 years......

tearoses:


Word!

On a serious note
People are saying the marriage has cracks before
but Eng's message was what finally broke the camels back . .

Many marriages go through different ups and downs and we dont know what "down" they were going through at that point, so people should really be careful what they do as not to add petrol to an already burning fire.

For example we dont know if this woman had cheated before and the man is just getting over it and trying to trust his wife and then suddenly engineers SMS comes in

We dont know what they are going through at that point; doesnt mean to say that the marriage is doomed or about to break.

Hence we should respect other peoples marriages. One thing I have noticed is that My husband is very careful how he addresses and deals with married women so that there are no crossed lines or cause for misinterpretation especially as one doesnt know what issues thats going on behind closed doors in their marriage.
You dont want to accidently end someone elses marriage. If they want to end it let them end it themselves and not use someone else as catalyst.

Ewuro4:
Tearoses & Edwife, I agree with you both I have oldies on FB that havent seen for over 10years but always exchange birthday wishes & comment on their timelines without any problem. I don't even know their marital status just like OP.
So are you implying I should cut them lose like that? (we learn everyday)

These aforementioned spouses in posters scenarios are just unsecured and have underlying issues in their marriages.

Ewuro4:
Tearoses & Edwife, I agree with you both I have oldies on FB that havent seen for over 10years but always exchange birthday wishes & comment on their timelines without any problem. I don't even know their marital status just like OP.
So are you implying I should cut them lose like that? (we learn everyday)

These aforementioned spouses in posters scenarios are just unsecured and have underlying issues in their marriages.

tearoses:

Many marriages go through different ups and downs and we dont know what "down" they were going through at that point, one should really be careful what one does so as not to add petrol to an already burning fire.

tearoses:

However in this instance the OP sent a personal Text message to a personal phone line.
Now to me, that is crossing boundry's . . .

edwife:


Facebook is different from a personal phone,it is an open page.

She didn't even have his name saved on her phone,rather one Joshua.....she didn't even recognised him- now that a problem.
Why didn't he send his wishes on her Facebook wall like everybody? why her personal phone?

Of course they had underlying issues and i am pretty sure it has to do with the phone and a mysterious message.

Ewuro4:
Tearoses... Gotcha , you're right text message seem too personal considering the 5years gap. So you'd prefer a Facebook chat?

Begs the Q, what's the difference between text message, whatapp, bbm, FB (messager) etc ?

But I can relate to that , A distant cousin continuously called me from Aussie # and I kept dismissing the calls coz I thought it was some random marketing stunt (you know USA & their cheap labour call centres). He sent me a message 'Hi , is this **( my name)', I blocked him. My dad had to call me to explain on his behalf I didn't even know he lives in Aussie.

Thanks

tearoses:


LOL
In a normal marriage, without trust issues, then it shouldnt have been a problem, but since one does not know what is going on with the couple behind their closed doors, especially as this is a person one hasnt seen/heard from in such a long time, then its better to err on the side of caution until one knows whats up.

In this circumstance, a fb birthday message would have been sufficient IMO . . .just as all her other old fb friends would have done. He found out about the birthday on FB and He hasnt callled her for 5 years.

There was also the mixup with the name
Sounds like the hubby was confused that the name she had saved the Op's name was different from the name on the message
We dont know what issues are on ground between bro Akpan and that family before now.

One has to be wise jare, especially when stepping into unknown territory .

Ewuro4:


True yarn.

@bold.., hmmm many mysterious deaths and one begin to wonder why.

I agree one has to thread carefully jare.