Maggi85:

I dont get him. Is he just testing me? Is marrying me a way to secure himself so he can stay in norway? is getting another child also the reason for getting more years in Norway? He can save a lot of money when he lives like he does now. Not paying much. If he lived alone in Norway renting an apartment, he would have to pay around 10 000 a month , and the child costedy around 4000. So 14 000 a month. Now he pays 3-5000 a month..

And also maybe he will not get to stay in norway according to rules.

What would you do? Show him the door?

Thank you for listening to my story

Klass99:


We need to stop our people from hurting others globally, on an international scale with their extreme selfishness for either papers or quick riches.

One guy was on front page actively encouraging yahoo and boasting of his riches from it. My blood boiled when I saw that post and to think his comment had 60 likes, meaning 60 people actually applaud and approve that lifestyle.

It is even tolerable when they perpetuate their evil amongst us Nigerians, we know how to deal with ourselves as fellow Nigerians. What is it sef? Na only us waka come this universe? We are always leading when it comes to bad/negative things, even nationals of other African countries are wary of us.

Maggi85, listen to the person below me at your own peril. It will be disastrous for you if you do.

Nonam:
Maggi85

Your Nigeria man is not using you. The people here above are giving you bad advice.

Nigerians have this mentality that, when a black man is dating a white woman, he is using her for papers. Your Nigeria lover is not using you. He feels you are financially OK that is why he support you less. He loves you and wants to marry you because he sees no other woman in his life. He is not giving you that support because he still have to lay something back home. Every man needs to have a strong foundation.

Sit your man down and talk to him. Tell him your worries and how you feels. Communication is good.

godliman:
He is a parasite perching on you to survive. Allowing this fellow into your life was your first mistake, your second mistake was have a baby for him, getting married to him or having another baby will be the final killer mistake. His heart is not with you, he is just using you. Go to his church and do some findings, possibly talk to his pastor. I won't be surprised if he is seeing another woman. The time to sit and talk about the future of your relationship is now, if talking to him alone will not work, go see his pastor ( if it is a genuine church) and let his pastor resolve the matter. Your respective families would have come in now but you are just cohabiting which is another terrible mistake. If all these efforts prove abortive show him the door but first secure the custody of your daughter by legal means.

Kaiair:
I don't think you should demand much unless you're earning less than him, working multiple shifts in a foreign country is frustrating he's not yet used to that kind of life unlike nigeria were as a civil servant you get paid even without coming to work...so he's earnings might really be less plus his working long hours so.... just pity him, it's not easy

Mindlog:


If he is earning less than her and she is the one picking the bulk of the bills, why does he want another child with her?

Kaiair:
I don't think you should demand much unless you're earning less than him, working multiple shifts in a foreign country is frustrating he's not yet used to that kind of life unlike nigeria were as a civil servant you get paid even without coming to work ...so he's earnings might really be less plus his working long hours so.... just pity him, it's not easy

Mindlog:


If he is earning less than her and she is the one picking the bulk of the bills, why does he want another child with her?

Raalsalghul:
The way Nigerians badmouth their own just to get on a foreigner's good sides is just appalling.

truthsayer009:


It's the same with Nigerian men as well, we all counter each other and make sure the foreigner hates the person. But in this case, the man himself is using her to stay there, make we no lie.

Maggi85:



I agree to this. The situation is that i earn more in the year than him. But when we have a child together its not okey to only share ten prosent of what he earn with his familiy. After all bills are paid im left with very little. He is left with a lot. He works 12 hours on a shift. That means he now earns a lot. Almost more than me/probably more than me. With one engineering job and one delivery job. He is working all the time. Yet dont want to give us more than 5000 kr a month. While i use 32000 kr a month. I have 6000 left to live for (food), he has 20 000 or more for himself But he doesnt want me to se his account. Though i know he works every day. So money has to come in..

Also i dont understand why he wants more kids when he 1.doesnt use time on the one he already have. 2. dont have or want to use money.

Only reason can be that he is from a yoruba culture, and brought up mostly by his mum (dad didnt do much). And maybe he is brought up in a way that kids are mums respnsability.

But yoruba men also want to help familiy financially. So it doesnt fit. Maybe because im white.. and seen as rich.

Well the other reason can be that one more child means that i will need him for at least 2-3 years more. And it secure that he will get to stay in norway.

Another thing that is strange is that he doesnt want me in church. But he took our baby there two times. Why am i not welcome. And why isnt the pastor .. that he is close to.. advicing him to either bring us there or use more time with us? A pastor in most churches would try to make a man prioritize familiy first. I called another pastor and she told me this. She said it can look a bit like the whole church is hiding something from me.

truthsayer009:
Poster, your man needs to send money home to his Nigerian people, therefore he doesn't spend the money with you.

I get you. But..: his parents in Nigeria : his father is the pastor. They have money. So i cant believe he sends money to them. Unless he has to pay back to them. They helped him so he could study abroad. So they have helped him a lot.

"I dont get him. Is he just testing me? Is marrying me a way to secure himself so he can stay in norway? is getting another child also the reason for getting more years in Norway? He can save a lot of money when he lives like he does now."

Maybe or maybe not, but Its usually a struggle for people to remain in European countries so your assumption is not far from the truth.

Maggi85:

I get you. But..: his parents in Nigeria : his father is the pastor. They have money. So i cant believe he sends money to them. Unless he has to pay back to them. They helped him so he could study abroad. So they have helped him a lot.

truthsayer009:


Lmaooo, is that what he told you?
Average middle class families in Nigeria sponsor members of their family in any way or form, they crowdsource, even sell properties.

Do you think he his spending his money on other women?

Nigerian men that I know are serious abroad, they are tight fisted except if its to send money back home for family or personal hidden purposes.