ifeness:


I will let you be with your delusion if that helps you sleep well at night.

nigga you are the deluded one. a black atheist. crazy shyttt. like you created yourself. oh i get it, you think we originated from some primordial soup. fork outta here with that mess

zaragal:


Brother tell me the difference btw sis Janet cunt and jennifer cunt...one nah gold... , dey is only difference in maybe one is rough and the other is smooth....bt nh the same utility

don't let me go into details, but dere is a big difference btwn a borehole and a well. u can go in and out of a well and not even know u did, at d end of d day, it's more of work dan fun. also d oda body features of Jane n Jennifer dat complement it is also not the same, so d feeling is definitely not d same.
I am also not making excuse for randy men o, I'm just responding to your assertion

sukkot:
nigga you are the deluded one. a black atheist. crazy shyttt. like you created yourself. oh i get it, you think we originated from some primordial soup. fork outta here with that mess

Typical Christian with delusion

Marry her as your second wife?

MrsChima:


Excuse me...blackmail applies when someone has information or secrets that can alter someone's reality or stability. How is telling a man to be the man he wants his son to be to his future wife and his daughter to choose as a husband blackmailing?

Secondly, I don't care if his wife did not wash her toto for 70 months and cooked horrible meals...it gives no reason for anyone to commit adultery! If he was unhappy with her for whatever reason he could have sat down and communicaate! If that did not work then seek professional help and if that fails then make a mutual decision to separate or divorce.

What is the point being in a loveless marriage and certainly not for the kids! Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and we as parents owe it to our children to do what is right for the children! If divorce is the answer so be it! What we do in our relationship teachesoour children to either have healthy or unhealthy relationships!

There is NO EXCUSE FOR ADULTERY!!!

On your quote for blackmail above you were asking how he would talk to his son treating his wife the way he treated his mum or his daughter getting married to a man like him, seriously what do you call that?

On sitting down and communicating, in your anger you probably missed the part where he said hed asked his wife to join him where he was so they could be a family together.
He did
He communicated
She didnt listen.

The first rule of love is to listen, not hear, listen heard that before?
Theres no need using a hammer to kill a mosquito ma, the talk about being in a loveless marriage and all, the wife only need listen and trust me things wouldnt have had to aggravate to probably seeking professional help and all that.

Why wouldnt she just listen?
But she would always expect him to listen.
And he always would case in point he mentioned something about not wanting to be the cause of truncating her career and stuff.

People change for one reason or the other.

The wife had a good man, she failed to manage things right and pushed him into the arms of another woman.

Listening and understanding you partners needs is something this generation of women dont get.

Some people only need attention, give them all the money in the world if that attention isnt there they will seek it somewhere else.
Case in point if it was money why do rich people still divorce?

Some people its money, give them all the attention and theyre never ok.

Some people have next to nothing in this life and you see where the woman is ready to do anything if you try her husband and theres nothing you tell her, you see that her husband nobody can be better than him as far as shes concerned, how about that?

The wife goofed. The banker lady played her cards right and it will shock you she could possibly make the man blossom in more ways than you could possibly imagine.

She knows the value she sees in him and is smart enough to appreciate it, it the wife fails to understand how to manage what she has/had thats her loss.

Thats the thing women of this generation being made to believe its only the man who should do all the appreciation and value the relationship.

Reality check ladies, love is a two way street, if your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you, youre not doing something right

check yourself and stop trying think you own rights to his thought process, even God his creator gives him freedom of thought!

Atk1nson:


don't let me go into details, but dere is a big difference btwn a borehole and a well. u can go in and out of a well and not even know u did, at d end of d day, it's more of work dan fun. also d oda body features of Jane n Jennifer dat complement it is also not the same, so d feeling is definitely not d same.
I also not making excuse for randy men o, I'm just responding to your assertion

obviously you and zaragal dont understand what it means t be in a relationship, it goes well beyond s3x

refreshrate:


obviously you and zaragal dont understand what it means t be in a relationship, it goes well beyond s3x

abeg read d last paragraph of my post. I was only responding to her comment, my comment has nothing to with Mr n Mrs issue

ifeness:


Typical Christian with delusion

i am not a christian. never stepped into church in the last 5 years. i am spiritual

sukkot:
i am not a christian. never stepped into church in the last 5 years. i am spiritual

Don't lie because you have been quoting from the Jewish book without making any sense. You may not have stepped into a church but an empty drum is still an empty drum. You don't sound matured enough to comment on this thread.#No offense intended,just an observation.

Omavik:
Ur own happiness shld b ur priority.. stick to whatever /whoever makes u happy... follow ur mind sir...

are u legally,traditional married?I don't mean friendship marriage!if u are do u have kids ?if no sit down and put ur brain in order! If yes "I sorry for ur kids"when two elephant are fighting in the forest then u should know dat it's de ground dat suffer's it"think twice oooooo

why are you so immature
you are sleeping out, and you are married
why did you get married in the first place.

you b acting like undergraduates who go about having a girlfriend and being in love with their other friend's friend or sister.

you are married for Christ's sakes..

you have two beautiful children and seems you want to risk loosing them..

you are in love with your co-banker?

smh

does it mean you were never in love with your current wife... abi na "deeply in love" been dey misss. mtcheeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!


okay, shebi you wan hear am?

file for a divorce, apply for child custody and maybe you'd be satisfied.


both given your story, you've been in love before, what makes you think you wouldn't be deeply in lve with someone else in the next couple of years??


wake up bro. if na juju dem dey jazz u... tell dem say you no work.

Finally, marriage is about sacrifices!

ifeness:


Don't lie because you have been quoting from the Jewish book without making any sense. You may not have stepped into a church but an empty drum is still an empty drum. You don't sound matured enough to comment on this thread.#No offense intended,just an observation.

you are just a vacuous dummy with nothing of value to say. why dont you return to the atheist section. this type of thing here requires people with some sense and emotion and spirituality. not a robot who thinks he came from some primordial soup. fork outta here with that nonsense

MrsChima:
You will reap what you sow.

If you truly do not want to be with your wife then leave her. Children do not thrive well in broken and unhappy homes. You can't possibly look your son in the eye and say treat your women like I treat your mother. You can't look in your daughter in the eye and say pick a man like your daddy.

You do not respect your wife nor the vows you have made to her. If there were issues..you should sat down with her and try to communicate. If that didn't work you should have seek professional help.

Every marriage has issues and no marriage is perfect. I promise you that your next marriage will have issues as well. You need to develop some problem solving skills so that you don't leave every woman that "makes" you unhappy. No one can make you happy but Allah. You will always be disappointed as long as you live because humans make mistakes and aren't perfect. Everyone has flaws and some serious than others.

If this lady can cheat with you while you married what make you think she will be loyal when you married her? A self respecting lady will not lower herself even for some konji. I am sure she is aware that you are married or has a mate.

If you truly do not want to be with your wife....leave her. You can still care for your kids and do right by your kids.

well spoken may God bless u

sukkot:
you are just a vacuous dummy with nothing of value to say. why dont you return to the atheist section. this type of thing here requires people with some sense and emotion and spirituality. not a robot who thinks he came from some primordial soup. fork outta here with that nonsense

If that makes you love yourself better.

ifeness:


If that makes you love yourself better.

nigga you are still responding ? dont you gotta go give your hero and mentor stephen hawking his bath ? fork outta here with that shyttt man

sukkot:
nigga you are still responding ? dont you gotta go give your hero and mentor stephen hawking his bath ? fork outta here with that shyttt man

I will,if that will help you become a better person.

Make your family matters a priority, ensure that you constantly communicate love with your wife(She is really trying), safe your marriage and forsake the way of adultery.
I forbid you from taking the affair with your colleague serious! Of course it is giving u a sweet feeling, it simply ephemeral nothing gives a lasting happiness like a good family fought for.

refreshrate:


On your quote for blackmail above you were asking how he would talk to his son treating his wife the way he treated his mum or his daughter getting married to a man like him, seriously what do you call that?

On sitting down and communicating, in your anger you probably missed the part where he said hed asked his wife to join him where he was so they could be a family together.
He did
He communicated
She didnt listen.

The first rule of love is to listen, not hear, listen heard that before?
Theres no need using a hammer to kill a mosquito ma, the talk about being in a loveless marriage and all, the wife only need listen and trust me things wouldnt have had to aggravate to probably seeking professional help and all that.

Why wouldnt she just listen?
But she would always expect him to listen.
And he always would case in point he mentioned something about not wanting to be the cause of truncating her career and stuff.

People change for one reason or the other.

The wife had a good man, she failed to manage things right and pushed him into the arms of another woman.

Listening and understanding you partners needs is something this generation of women dont get.

Some people only need attention, give them all the money in the world if that attention isnt there they will seek it somewhere else.
Case in point if it was money why do rich people still divorce?

Some people its money, give them all the attention and theyre never ok.

Some people have next to nothing in this life and you see where the woman is ready to do anything if you try her husband and theres nothing you tell her, you see that her husband nobody can be better than him as far as shes concerned, how about that?

The wife goofed. The banker lady played her cards right and it will shock you she could possibly make the man blossom in more ways than you could possibly imagine.

She knows the value she sees in him and is smart enough to appreciate it, it the wife fails to understand how to manage what she has/had thats her loss.

Thats the thing women of this generation being made to believe its only the man who should do all the appreciation and value the relationship.

Reality check ladies, love is a two way street, if your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you, youre not doing something right

check yourself and stop trying think you own rights to his thought process, even God his creator gives him freedom of thought!

Are you the lady in question? You seems to.be taking this too personal.

Is OP the only married man in Nigeria/world? No, he is not. I made suggestions that can help ANYONE going through similar situations as OP. Not everyone communicate with their partners and not everyone try talking to their spouse. So it was not only to him bit others it may apply.

Secondly, just like you told me not to dictate his thought process which I have never said I did or desired to do so. You can't dictate the wife's thought process. Maybeshe ddidn't want to listen because she has her own reasons just like OP has his own reasons why he committed adultery instead leaving his wife. Simple.

Thirdly, I didn't know suggesting one to think their actions and how it affects their children is blackmail. I forgot this is Nigeria, the land of the hypocrites and stone throwers. If the wife had "listened" would that stop him from cheating and "falling in love"? Nonsense!

We only heard one side of the story and I am only commenting to what he said without taking in the wife's side and the truth!

I stand by my comments and you don't have to agree with it. There is absolutely no reason for one to cheat even if they were held by gunpoint!

Hmm. Sad..
I take a different stance though. Personally I detest your person, to justify cheating on your wife in the name of "satisfying emotional desires" is just disgusting.

I would advice you to get a divorce, so many marriages in this country ought to be dissolved yet, for the fear of "what people will say", "the shame", or "the kids", they remain.
Its clear you don't love your wife anyone, the worst is that you don't respect her, and my dear in a relationship respect is more important than love.
You entire write up is just selfish, you seem only keen on pleasing your desires regardless on the impact on your wife or kids.
Please get a divorce, we have many single mothers doing well... Better than transmitting something to her, or the fake marriage institution she is currently living in.

Its obviously your libido talking now,when its stops you'll know the right thing to do. Conji na bas***d!

@OP... Can you read the first sentence you made again;you said you needed matured mind, and I ask;which matured mind would tell you to leave your wife and two kids and go after your "mistress/sex mate".

It's a pity that @32,you've not really understood the craftiness of that rod between your legs and you let it do the thinking for you. Sure you know/heard of men who were led by their rod and how they ended up. The likes of Samson and Abacha...

My friend! just go back to your wife and kids and stop being irresponsible.

FYI, i'm not a mature mind. Thank you!

liyahwillie:
well spoken may God bless u

Thanks dear Bless you.

At your age this should not be your problem. All you need now is to give your life to Jesus Christ. There is no other advice that will work except surrendering to Jesus Christ and you will be delivered. Teach your family the way of God and you will enjoy your marriage. God will open your eyes to see the truth of my opinion.

This is satan at work,takin advantage of u bcs of d emotional gap bw u n ur wife. STOP NOW. At least for the sake of ur children.its all about sex?mr man grown above it.life is much more than sex.it takes more than good sex to measure real love.u probably was havin great sex wit ur wife b4 it fell apart.change ur perception of ur wife.see her in a positive light,with the eyes of faith in the fact that she is n can be good.above all pray to God to deliver U frm this mess.

Stop adultery with her, better marry her as second wife.

You let your marriage go and now you dont feel for your wife anymore.....marriage doesnt work.by itself, you have to work at it every single day.

You and your wife can find that spark you had before marriage if you are willing to but if you go on and divorce her....

Your kids will suffer emotionally

You will also find some stupid excuse against your new wife and still.cheat on her as you are a serial cheat....

Grass isnt greener anywhere, you water and tend your grass to keep it green and healthy. Make the right decision and not the cowardly, selfish one.

Dlionsheart:
My advise would've been that you should leave the strange woman, but you've already said "don't tell me to leave her".

but remember, old wine was once a new good testy wine, time is the difference. Am sure your wife once test good and pleasant to you sexually, emotionally and otherwise. After two kids, do you expect her to remain 100% sexually active? Didn't you see those signs & discussed it with her before marriage?? If you have issues with your family (wife) and taking another woman is the only option, what is the assurance that your new found love would not behave the same way after giving birth to two or three kids

jumping from one woman to another is not the solution to marital problem, men who engages in such always live to regret it.

SOLUTION: engage your wife in a constructive, revealing talk.

WORD

zaragal:
Hhmmmmmmm....dis is not a good one

Dis is wat apns wen u live seperated frm ur family, ur wife...Hav told couples...don't marry to become single..if u want to be single den stay single and stop exposing innocent kids to one parent system......

Anyways to ur story...drop ur illicit affair dude, and reunite ur home...bring ur famz together, for the sake of ur kids dey re too young to be exposed dis madness, ....womanliness to be honest with u don't hav different, Janet cunt is the same as Sara's if there is any difference, it's a very small one, it's the same utility u derive frm either women so why bother cheat, it's jst dat u men re insatiable and want to taste everything...

Btw.. ......wake up frm dat ur slump and face ur home, put ur home together and drop dat affair...

To the bolded, its really strong. The red is FACT!

Omavik:
Ur own happiness shld b ur priority.. stick to whatever /whoever makes u happy... follow ur mind sir...

What makes him happy will definitely break someone's heart and lead to break up.

mysweetnina:
Nairalanders, I need mature and real people opinion here.

I am a banker, 32, married with two kids, boy and girl. My wife works with a MDA in abuja while I work out from Nassarawa. I rented a 2 bedroom flat for them in Lugbe, abuja while i visit every weekend. I love her and love the kids however I notice we dont agree on a lot of things, mostly financial matters. she prefer i spend all on her and her kids and whenevr i am broke, she will gladly lend me cash. I dont ve ish with that and i ve been enjoying it for years now. I cheat on her but i dont see it as cheating but rather caring for my emotional needs. I have talked her into coming to stay in lafia with me before but i noticed she is very comfortable with her job and i dont want to be the reason for career truncation/ dissatisfaction in her life.

i decide to live my life in my own way; strategically sleeping with other ladies as need be. recently, i asked my colleague out. a lady banker, same level. for 3 months now, we have been hot and i can no longer touch or tolerate my wife. my colleague recently took in for me but we took care of it. i am scared as she is madly in love with me and she is available. I am also madly in love with her. i am choosing her over my wife right now. how can I solve this.

Guys I love her, dont tell me to leave her. we enjoy sex together in a way I dont with my wife. Just give your honest opinion to help those that may find themselves in my place someday.

Thank u.

This is why I don't suppose spouses living separately.

mysweetnina:
Nairalanders, I need mature and real people opinion here.

I am a banker, 32, married with two kids, boy and girl. My wife works with a MDA in abuja while I work out from Nassarawa. I rented a 2 bedroom flat for them in Lugbe, abuja while i visit every weekend. I love her and love the kids however I notice we dont agree on a lot of things, mostly financial matters. she prefer i spend all on her and her kids and whenevr i am broke, she will gladly lend me cash. I dont ve ish with that and i ve been enjoying it for years now. I cheat on her but i dont see it as cheating but rather caring for my emotional needs. I have talked her into coming to stay in lafia with me before but i noticed she is very comfortable with her job and i dont want to be the reason for career truncation/ dissatisfaction in her life.

i decide to live my life in my own way; strategically sleeping with other ladies as need be. recently, i asked my colleague out. a lady banker, same level. for 3 months now, we have been hot and i can no longer touch or tolerate my wife. my colleague recently took in for me but we took care of it. i am scared as she is madly in love with me and she is available. I am also madly in love with her. i am choosing her over my wife right now. how can I solve this.

Guys I love her, dont tell me to leave her. we enjoy sex together in a way I dont with my wife. Just give your honest opinion to help those that may find themselves in my place someday.

Thank u.

my honest opinion right:you are a f..L