jcross19:
the issue of white wedding has become the custom of the church, am not opposing it but we should encourage the couple to be introduce in church and receive church blessing as well to reduce the rate of fornications in church . I won't marry until I buy suit and white gown , cook 3 bags of rice with cow and set cars entourage. That's madness.

now that is EXTRAVAGANT and SPLENDID

vivypretty:

now that is EXTRAVAGANT and SPLENDID

which church are you going? I love your courage can I get to know you.

ProfessorPeter:
The reason i raised this issue is to correct the impression that until you do "white wedding" sleeping with your partner is sin. I ve seen how
1. Church stopped " white wedding" because the lady was pregnant before the wedding date.
2. The church suspended the couple because the woman put to bed less than nine month after their wedding.
It makes d couple look like a sinners in the eye of God and the people also see then as sinner.
CHURCH WEDDING IS NOT SCRIPTURAL. DOWRY VALIDATE BEFORE GOD N MAN, THE REST IS UNNECESSARY

I think the whole marriage rites should be completed to allow for peace. From time we know the stand of the church on white wedding. It's after it that a couple is expected to consummate their union.

Atimes, people sleep together even without the traditional giving away, get pregnant, rush traditional and expect church to wed them, knowing FULLY WELL that the church frowns at it. They are institutional authorities too (Hebrews 13:17). It is not a must to do white wedding. If you decide to go ahead with a white wedding then obey the rules. It really is simple. The white gown is meant to symbolise purity. I have seen how people talk about brides that wore white yet were heavily pregnant and were being wed by the church. The church is meant to be WITHOUT blame.

If you decide to subject yourself to the church approach to wedding then fulfil the high requirements set by it. Consummate after the wedding or just do traditional and court. A few days or weeks should not be an issue to the couple if they truly abstained. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.

jcross19:
which church are you going? I love your courage can I get to know you.

catholic St Anthony.thanks

vivypretty:

catholic St Anthony.thanks

hope you are learning right, you have a good heart. Will you put husband an heavy load because marriage?

Alwaystrue:


I think the whole marriage rites should be completed to allow for peace. From time we know the stand of the church on white wedding. It's after it that a couple is expected to consummate their union.

Atimes, people sleep together even without the traditional giving away, get pregnant, rush traditional and expect church to wed them, knowing FULLY WELL that the church frowns at it. They are institutional authorities too (Hebrews 13:17). It is not a must to do white wedding. If you decide to go ahead with a white wedding then obey the rules. It really is simple. The white gown is meant to symbolise purity. I have seen how people talk about brides that wore white yet were heavily pregnant and were being wed by the church. The church is meant to be WITHOUT blame.

If you decide to subject yourself to the church approach to wedding then fulfil the high requirements set by it. Consummate after the wedding or just do traditional and court. A few days or weeks should not be an issue to the couple if they truly abstained. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.

fornication is sin, that is what the scriptures says. What am saying is that when dowry is paid, the man sleeping with the lady is not fornication. Because dowry validates marriage. Every other activity is optional and should be seen as a biblical doctrine.
If a lady is pregnant outside wedlock, the church must suspend her

ProfessorPeter:
fornication is sin, that is what the scriptures says. What am saying is that when dowry is paid, the man sleeping with the lady is not fornication. Because dowry validates marriage. Every other activity is optional and should be seen as a biblical doctrine.
If a lady is pregnant outside wedlock, the church must suspend her

When the woman is given away, actually, is when you can say a marriage is complete. It can be with or without dowry. Some cultures do not take dowry. I prefer couples who plan to do a church wedding to best do everything same day then such as this wont arise.

As you said, a woman can get pregnant out of wedlock and should be suspended so how does this relate to the couple that you said were suspended by the church because they put to bed less than 9 months after their wedding? So what if the bride was pregnant even before the traditional wedding but the wife did not show on time and the church did not know and they wedded them and 5 months after she delivers, should she and hubby still be suspended? Good church doctrine is to join a man and wife and not man, wife and baby. That is the point.

Like I said, even beyond the giving away by the bride's father at traditional, if they plan to go the white church wedding route and the church expects them to keep themselves pure till after it, they need to abide by it. That is what I am saying. If they can't and feel they are married once the traditional handover is complete then why do a white wedding? We know court has no issue (infact, the court bit is more of a registration of marriage and not the ceremony they have turned it into nowadays).

In all, I understand your view but there are aspects that need to be considered in everything.

Alwaystrue:


When the woman is given away, actually, is when you can say a marriage is complete. It can be with or without dowry. Some cultures do not take dowry. I prefer couples who plan to do a church wedding to best do everything same day then such as this wont arise.

As you said, a woman can get pregnant out of wedlock and should be suspended so how does this relate to the couple that you said were suspended by the church because they put to bed less than 9 months after their wedding? So what if the bride was pregnant even before the traditional wedding but the wife did not show on time and the church did not know and they wedded them and 5 months after she delivers, should she and hubby still be suspended? Good church doctrine is to join a man and wife and not man, wife and baby. That is the point.

Like I said, even beyond the giving away by the bride's father at traditional, if they plan to go the white church wedding route and the church expects them to keep themselves pure till after it, they need to abide by it. That is what I am saying. If they can't and feel they are married once the traditional handover is complete then why do a white wedding? We know court has no issue (infact, the court bit is more of a registration of marriage and not the ceremony they have turned it into nowadays).

In all, I understand your view but there are aspects that need to be considered in everything.

God bless u. I did church wedding, one d day of my wedding, a misguided pastor asked us to produce pregnancy test. I told him he should ve given us aleast 24 hrs to do so. After a heated debate, i told her that my wife was on her Period. That settled the matter. I have a friend whose wife was bundled to hospital on her wedding day. While we were still in d church dancing. Look at the embarrassment. When the dowry is paid and the parents have handed over to the man. HE IS FREE TO SLEEP WITH HER. As a pastor i will wed any lady who is pregnant after her dowry was paid, and i will suspend any lady that pregnant before paying of dowry

Scripturally, there's no such thing as "Church wedding" or "White wedding".
It is more of a borrowed culture which we are already accustomed to.

Meanwhile,
Marriage, which is the most important, involves the payment of the Bride price, then, a man will leave his father and mother, so also will a woman, and they twain shall be one flesh.
WHILE
Wedding is only an event to mark the beginning of the union. It is simply a ceremony without laying excessive emphasis on that.

The Bible mentioned "wedding" only in Matthew and Luke.

The blessing of the union is essential to have a representative of God involved and to solemnize the marriage (NOT Wedding)

The massive crowd and frivolities are human excesses, which does not dictate the success or failure of the MARRIAGE.
Thus, there is a possibility of bringing a Minister to a Mini setting where the intending couples are present, their parents and other invited fellows present, not necessarily a cloud of witnesses.

What we call Church Wedding now is mostly extravagant and an uncultured display of affluence.
Unfortunately, in most cases, our expenses on the "unimportant" wedding supercedes our capacity to run and maintain the Marriage itself.

The Bible places importance on Marriage as shown in:
John 2:1 - Marriage in Cana. . .
Luke 17:27 - Given in marriage, . .
1 Cor 7 - better to marry than to burn.
Heb 13:4 - Marriage is honourable in all
Rev 19:9 - marriage supper of the Lamb

Wedding doesn't necessarily have to involve the 500+ participants, only for a 30 minutes blessing by the minister.
Personally, I consider the engagement ceremony the important event.
Wedding can be actualized in a house setting, court or any other suitable environment where the minister is still privileged to bless the Union for 30 minutes.

Let your moderation be known unto all men!

ProfessorPeter:
God bless u. I did church wedding, one d day of my wedding, a misguided pastor asked us to produce pregnancy test. I told him he should ve given us aleast 24 hrs to do so. After a heated debate, i told her that my wife was on her Period. That settled the matter. I have a friend whose wife was bundled to hospital on her wedding day. While we were still in d church dancing. Look at the embarrassment. When the dowry is paid and the parents have handed over to the man. HE IS FREE TO SLEEP WITH HER. As a pastor i will wed any lady who is pregnant after her dowry was paid, and i will suspend any lady that pregnant before paying of dowry

I just wish this thread was created when I needed it.. Was gonna do just Traditional and Court because of the reasons uve stated in this post.. the church can be so ridiculously fussy. They've successfully turned what is supposed to be a joyous occasion into a stressful and frustrating process..

But unfortunately for me, I allowed my mum and her sisters bully me into doing an extravagant white wedding.. good thing it was funded by family members .. else I'd be regretting by now.

To be married, all one needs is parental consent/blessing, payment of dowry (if required) and legal documents signed. Too many of us are being bullied into wasting resources all in the name of wedding.

lolaredvelvet:



I just wish this thread was created when I needed it.. Was gonna do just Traditional and Court because of the reasons uve stated in this post.. the church can be so ridiculously fussy. They've successfully turned what is supposed to be a joyous occasion into a stressful and frustrating process..

But unfortunately for me, I allowed my mum and her sisters bully me into doing an extravagant white wedding.. good thing it was funded by family members .. else I'd be regretting by now.

To be married, all one needs is parental consent/blessing, payment of dowry (if required) and legal documents signed. Too many of us are being bullied into wasting resources all in the name of wedding.

thanks. Am not against church wedding or white wedding. Am against the way some churches are asking for pregnancy test, Hiv test etc before they conduct such ceremonies.
They don't wed a pregnant sister and when one them is Hiv positive

tommiesyn:
Scripturally, there's no such thing as "Church wedding" or "White wedding".
It is more of a borrowed culture which we are already accustomed to.
Meanwhile,
Marriage, which is the most important, involves the payment of the Bride price, then, a man will leave his father and mother, so also will a woman, and they twain shall be one flesh.
WHILE
Wedding is only an event to mark the beginning of the union. It is simply a ceremony without laying excessive emphasis on that.
The Bible mentioned "wedding" only in the Matthew and Luke, note that there was no record of blessing attached to it.
The blessing of the union is essential to have a representative of God involved and to solemnize the marriage (NOT Wedding)
The massive crowd and frivolities are human excesses, which does not dictate the success or failure of the MARRIAGE.
Thus, there is a possibility of bringing a Minister to a Mini setting where the intending couples are present, their parents and other invited fellows present, not necessarily a cloud of witnesses.
What we call Church Wedding now is extravagant and not in any way moderate. What we now have are budgets of 500,000 and above.
Unfortunately, in most cases, our expenses on the "unimportant" wedding supercedes our capacity to run and maintain the Marriage itself.
The Bible places importance on Marriage as shown in:
John 2:1 - Marriage in Cana. . .
Luke 17:27 - Given in marriage, . .
1 Cor 7 - better to marry than to burn.
Heb 13:4 - Marriage is honourable in all
Rev 19:9 - marriage supper of the Lamb
Wedding doesn't necessarily have to involve the 500+ participants, only for a 30 minutes blessing by the Minister, other times are spent on eating and dancing. Wedding can be actualized in a house setting, court or any other suitable environment where the minister is still privileged to bless the Union for 30 minutes.
Let your moderation be known unto all men!

lolaredvelvet:



I just wish this thread was created when I needed it.. Was gonna do just Traditional and Court because of the reasons uve stated in this post.. the church can be so ridiculously fussy. They've successfully turned what is supposed to be a joyous occasion into a stressful and frustrating process..

But unfortunately for me, I allowed my mum and her sisters bully me into doing an extravagant white wedding.. good thing it was funded by family members .. else I'd be regretting by now.

To be married, all one needs is parental consent/blessing, payment of dowry (if required) and legal documents signed. Too many of us are being bullied into wasting resources all in the name of wedding.

thanks. Am not against church wedding or white wedding. Am against the way some churches are asking for pregnancy test, Hiv test etc before they conduct such ceremonies.
They don't wed a pregnant sister and when one them is Hiv positive

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