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Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? - Religion (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 6:38am On Jun 26, 2015
abigdwn:

Dats not true bro!the white wedding stuff was borrowed from d white mans culture.The main thing s to pay dowry,wen dat s done,it s finished..other tins dat follow s just celebration.
even before the white came there was always someone that serves as the custodian of there religion to help and direct them on how to perform the marital rites
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 6:41am On Jun 26, 2015
Mellin:
u r no match for me. Go figure who caesar is,, school urself
do ur research and who gave you that opinion that you are a match for me
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by ProfessorPeter(m): 8:17am On Jun 26, 2015
Processor01:


What stops you as a believer from pronouncing God's blessings in your Union? What's the need for a Pastor to do what you ought to do? How many marriages did Paul or Peter officiate? Guys, if God leads you, you are blessed!
how do explain our fathers who married our mothers without pastor's blessings and their marriages were blessed

1 Like

Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by Alwaystrue(f): 11:28am On Jun 26, 2015
ProfessorPeter:
Traditional wedding or church wedding also known as white wedding Which one is them is scriptural?
I was teaching some weeks back on marriage, i told my audience that marriage is valid as soon dowry is paid. The scriptures recognizes traditional marriage. I told them that a man is free to sleep with hi wife as soon as dowry is paid.
I told them that white wedding is not scriptural and it is not biblical doctrine but church doctrine. It is high time we stop keeping people in bondage through a church doctrine

I believe wedding is complete after the woman has been GIVEN AWAY to the man as his wife. Scriptures are rife with this. In scriptures, Jacob had paid the dowry of Rachel (through labour) yet he still had to request from her father that he had fulfilled the requirements to have her to which Laban called a feast (optional) before handing Leah (cunningly) over to him. At Rachel's time, Laban still gave her away as scripture says.
There is a thing about fulfilling all righteousness atimes that allows for peace. I wonder what would have happened had it been that Jacob just took Rachel and slept with her without this formal handover.
Jesus also attended a wedding feast. I think there is something about a number of people being involved in the 'Giving Away' process (either held at chirch, court or family gathering) but I do not see it as mandatory as long as the woman is being given away by her family anyway.

1 Like

Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by matt7: 4:24pm On Jun 26, 2015
This is a very interesting topic, sensitive and vital, especially for young believers who are ignorant of what the bible says.

It is not a pastor who joins a couple. Bible says , "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder" Mark 9:10.

I paid my wife bride price in January. Food and drinks were provided for the guest. The late father, represented by the brother handed my woman to me as wife. The village king and members of the kindred were there including my wife's mother and my family.

We finished everything and I took my wife to my village Afikpo in Ebonyi State.

Jejely and nwayoly we entered Lagos and some people be like "When you go do the white wedding?" and I am like " Wait you go soon get IV for the rainbow wedding , na only white you like?" As if I had just gone to play tumbo tumbo in the village.... Shioor

When we knelt before the parent of my wife and prayer was made for us, who was the prayer directed to? Is it another God somewhere? Isnt it thesame God the pastor will call on. Or is the God different?

Where is it written in the bible that a pastor must join couples. Mind you, the joining of a couple is spiritual, it is not what the pastor does on the pulpit. It is God who joins, I cannot repeat this enough.

Did Jesus, Peter, Paul or any of the apostles join anybody? I wonder where we got this junk from.

We have made the word of God of no effect because of men's tradition, that has gradually made it way into the church.

The Muslim who don't do church wedding has less number of divorce compared to we Christian who do the so called " Christian or White wedding".

FYI I am a believer by God's grace. I have my wife living with me as I speak. I feel no sense of guilt. The bible is clear on this. Lets not put yoke and unecessary burden upon people.

See the rate of promiscuity around us. Just because young men are afraid of the cost of getting married.

If a pastor feels its necessary to bless the couple. Simply call them out after Sunday service and do that and lets stop making a mountain out of a mole hill.

If you can pay the bride price and have the parent of your wife release her to you, my friend you are married. Forget the ceremony, if you have the cash, do it. If not, my brother start planning your family.

A 3 bedroom flat is around 700k now in Lagos, car is close to a million depending on your choice. School fees, pampers, NEPA bill, Lawma, Feeding etc are pending.


Dont impress publicly and suffer privately. I have said my own.... *Grabs a bottle of groundnut and tosses it gradually into the mouth*

2 Likes

Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by ProfessorPeter(m): 5:26pm On Jun 26, 2015
matt7:
This is a very interesting topic, sensitive and vital, especially for young believers who are ignorant of what the bible says.

It is not a pastor who joins a couple. Bible says , "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder" Mark 9:10.

I paid my wife bride price in January. Food and drinks were provided for the guest. The late father, represented by the brother handed my woman to me as wife. The village king and members of the kindred were there including my wife's mother and my family.

We finished everything and I took my wife to my village Afikpo in Ebonyi State.

Jejely and nwayoly we entered Lagos and some people be like "When you go do the white wedding?" and I am like " Wait you go soon get IV for the rainbow wedding , na only white you like?" As if I had just gone to play tumbo tumbo in the village.... Shioor

When we knelt before the parent of my wife and prayer was made for us, who was the prayer directed to? Is it another God somewhere? Isnt it thesame God the pastor will call on. Or is the God different?

Where is it written in the bible that a pastor must join couples. Mind you, the joining of a couple is spiritual, it is not what the pastor does on the pulpit. It is God who joins, I cannot repeat this enough.

Did Jesus, Peter, Paul or any of the apostles join anybody? I wonder where we got this junk from.

We have made the word of God of no effect because of men's tradition, that has gradually made it way into the church.

The Muslim who don't do church wedding has less number of divorce compared to we Christian who do the so called " Christian or White wedding".

FYI I am a believer by God's grace. I have my wife living with me as I speak. I feel no sense of guilt. The bible is clear on this. Lets not put yoke and unecessary burden upon people.

See the rate of promiscuity around us. Just because young men are afraid of the cost of getting married.

If a pastor feels its necessary to bless the couple. Simply call them out after Sunday service and do that and lets stop making a mountain out of a mole hill.

If you can pay the bride price and have the parent of your wife release her to you, my friend you are married. Forget the ceremony, if you have the cash, do it. If not, my brother start planning your family.

A 3 bedroom flat is around 700k now in Lagos, car is close to a million depending on your choice. School fees, pampers, NEPA bill, Lawma, Feeding etc are pending.


Dont impress publicly and suffer privately. I have said my own.... *Grabs a bottle of groundnut and tosses it gradually into the mouth*

God bless my brother exactly my thought. Many young men are out there ripe for marriage but because of high cost of white wedding. They decided to live in secret sin.

2 Likes

Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by Alwaystrue(f): 6:56pm On Jun 26, 2015
Don't get it twisted though. If the parents of the bride require a 'white' wedding as part of the final seal of the wedding, do oblige especially If both are Christians. I helped decide a wedding plan where there was issue of choice of the church. Parent and bride wanted different churches. It ended well, court and traditional cum reception with pastoral blessing was agreed. I think clergy of both churches were present to bless them. Funnily, this same approach was adopted by another attendee cheesy grin. Cost saved, goal achieved.
In all i Iove church weddings kiss and that is why some churches ensure the parents of the couple are in support and hold it after the trad not before. That is the key.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by Nikkitee(f): 7:53pm On Jun 26, 2015
[quote author=vivypretty post=]traditional marriage is the real marriage.church wedding is just ceremonial.ones parents consent is d most important in any marriage.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by anukulapo: 8:03pm On Jun 26, 2015
ProfessorPeter:
Traditional wedding or church wedding also known as white wedding Which one is them is scriptural?
I was teaching some weeks back on marriage, i told my audience that marriage is valid as soon dowry is paid. The scriptures recognizes traditional marriage. I told them that a man is free to sleep with hi wife as soon as dowry is paid.
I told them that white wedding is not scriptural and it is not biblical doctrine but church doctrine. It is high time we stop keeping people in bondage through a church doctrine

Same way "white wedding" was copied (no big deal with the copying other than making it a standard and a tool for discrimination and blackmail by some) so was payment of "dowry" copied.

This practice has long found it's way into the society that it's hard to divorce it.

However,marriage is established between two people mainly (regardless of white wedding or dowry being paid) when some steps are taken, which are God's principle of "two becoming one".

Honoring ones parent and societal practices (which in itself not a sin) is ideal in the sight of God hence they are also be permitted in the sight of God BUT they are not spelt out as a requirement by God in the scripture. NOT even dowry was commanded.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 8:15pm On Jun 26, 2015
[quote author=Nikkitee post=35186521][/quote]
who started the institution of marriage if not God through his creation of a woman as man's companion so to me after seeking the consent of parents God's blessing is next
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by ayoku777(m): 8:16pm On Jun 26, 2015
I don't know why people are trying to equate white wedding to mean christian wedding.

By my own count, just 10 people can hold a christian wedding that is valid in the eyes of God.

The groom and the bride.

The father and mother of the bride and groom, or people representing them with their full consent.

Three witnesses, who are professing believers in Christ, to stand as the church (where two or three and gathered in my name, there I am).

And a minister of God, to bless the union in the name of Jesus, and pronounce you as man and wife, before God and the saints.

There you have it; just ten people and you can have a bonafide and valid christian wedding.

It doesn't matter if the bride is dressed in white or green, or if the groom is wearing suit or Tshirt.

It doesn't matter if there is food and refreshments. Or people choose to fast that day.

It doesn't matter if it was held in church, or in court or at home or under a tree. It will still be a valid christian wedding before God and the saints.

Those who say they didn't do a christian wedding because of cost actually don't know what makes a wedding a christian wedding.

They are confusing white wedding with christian wedding.

By my count and standard of what makes a wedding a christian wedding; christian wedding can be the cheapest and most-stress free weddings.

Just the bride and groom, parents of the two, three christian witnesses and a minister.

2 Likes

Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by anukulapo: 10:42pm On Jun 26, 2015
Processor01:


Brother, I disagree with you on this one.

There is no scripture that requires a believer to dedicate their union before any congregation and by a servant of God. If you find any reference in the Bible then let me know. The union is dedicated to God by the couple themselves, you don't need any special priest and servant and same way a child can be dedicated to God by the parents without the whole fanfare. In fact, dedication is simply committing into God's hand and trusting him to complete what he has started.

Betrothal is what we popularly call engagement. It is simply an agreement to be married in future. Our fathers practised this by having families make marriage plans for their children at a young age. I don't believe any Christian would begin to have sex after engagement.

Infact bro,betrothal is on the same level as introduction (formal declaration of interest in marriage witnessed by families.

Engagement literary means connected. When people are connected, why do they need "white" connection again?

It is because we adopted the "white" wedding that our faith and practice was relegated and reduced to semi-authentic.

"The union is dedicated to God by the couple themselves" - this statement is the over-all truth.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by anukulapo: 10:44pm On Jun 26, 2015
ProfessorPeter:
which of then is important? Dowry or wedding? If a man paid dowry of a lady n take her in and live together. Do they sin?
The question is not even about it being sin in the first place. It's about what makes two become one and at what point the joining occurs.

Many references in the scripture.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 5:29pm On Jun 28, 2015
ayoku777:


Where did you read that Mary was already living under Joseph's roof after they were betrothed? The bible said they were yet to come together.

Matthew 1v18 -Now the birth of Jesus was on this wise: When as His mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

These verse said they were yet to come together. They were yet to start living together, much less sleeping together. Even though Mary was already betrothed to Joseph and was already being called wife.

Look at this verse also;

Matthew 1v20 -...Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife:

See? Meaning Joseph was yet to take Mary unto himself.

So they were not yet living together or sleeping together, even after betrothal (bride price).



The angels gave Zechariah and Mary, the names that they should give their babies. But the babies were not named or called by those names until after they were dedicated (or christened). Its at dedication that the name becomes what the baby is called.



Its like you're confusing white wedding with christian wedding.

Do you know athiests too have white weddings? Even gays have white weddings too now. Does that make it a christian wedding?

For a wedding to be a christian wedding, it must involve the assembly of God's people representing the church. And it must have a priest or minister to bless the union in the name of Jesus and declare you both married before God and the saints.

Whether it is done in a church or court or under a tree doesn't matter. Whether the bride wore green or the groom wore ankara doesn't matter. Whether there is food and refreshments or not doesn't matter. None of these defines a christian marriage.

The presence of God in the assembly of God's people and a minister to bless the union in Christ name is what makes it a christian marriage.

Marriage is not man's invention. It is God's idea and He institutionalized it. It must be done in His name before the witness of God's people for it to be a christian marriage.

I'm not talking about traditional or court or white wedding. I'm talking about christian wedding.
first: came together there mean sexual intercourse that's the meaning. Secondly sir: what's the different between white wedding and christian wedding because when I was in primary school I was taught to believe that we have four type of weddings in nigeria which are traditional,court,islamic and christian wedding so which one is white wedding sir?
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 5:32pm On Jun 28, 2015
vivypretty:
.....
if marriage is all about traditional why then was it likened to God's love for the church(ephesians 5:23 down)
in (revelation 19:cool it was talking about. the bride being clothed in white
I have never see any where in new testament that talks about church wedding of wearing of suit and gown.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 9:06pm On Jun 28, 2015
jcross19:
I have never see any where in new testament that talks about church wedding of wearing of suit and gown.
pls check my bible verse
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 4:49am On Jun 29, 2015
vivypretty:

pls check my bible verse
there I did not see wearing suite and white gown.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 4:52am On Jun 29, 2015
vivypretty:

pls check my bible verse
sister "the husband as the head of a wife" that's what I saw o does it relate what I asked? There is nothing like church wedding in the bible the one we are doing now in church as custom.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 4:57am On Jun 29, 2015
She become your wife when you pay her bride price . What we suppose to do in church is introduce them to members as husband and wife , pray for them than wearing suit and white gown what for? Is that not english custom taught us by missionaries that brought the religion? Is biblical? But now that have formed part of church which can't be removed like tithe.

1 Like

Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 5:20am On Jun 29, 2015
jcross19:
sister "the husband as the head of a wife" that's what I saw o does it relate what I asked? There is nothing like church wedding in the bible the one we are doing now in church as custom.
revelation?
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 5:28am On Jun 29, 2015
jcross19:
sister "the husband as the head of a wife" that's what I saw o does it relate what I asked? There is nothing like church wedding in the bible the one we are doing now in church as custom.
revelation talks about a bride in white linen.accept it or not is the truth. ephesians compares Husband as the head of the wife with christ as the head of the church
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 5:42am On Jun 29, 2015
vivypretty:

revelation talks about a bride in white linen.accept it or not is the truth. ephesians compares Husband as the head of the wife with christ as the head of the church
is that what your pastor taught you ma? In that chapter am seeing a successful servants that made it to the end, I think that's parable, then are you going to marry an animal? That's just a parable ma. All I want is show me in the bible where bible say we should marry in suit and gown bound with ring if not that marriage is not legalise before God then are you telling me that those who did only court wedding are fornicating now?.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 5:43am On Jun 29, 2015
[quote author=Nikkitee post=35186521][/quote]
after that comes the consent of God which he gives when u present urself to the priest (an anointed man)




the trend now is to do an extravagant wedding but it doesn't have to be so in my church even in 5:30 am mass the priest can wed you
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 6:32am On Jun 29, 2015
[quote author=jcross19 post=35269051]is that what your pastor taught you ma? In that chapter am seeing a successful servants that made it to the end, I think that's parable, then are you going to marry an animal? That's just a parable ma. All I want is show me in the bible where bible say we should marry in suit and gown bound with ring if not that marriage is not legalise before God then are you telling me that those who did only court wedding are fornicating now?.[/quote
is that the interpretation you gave to the verse. who introduced this court marriage you are talking about? it is no where near the bible but God is the author of marriage is only right to seek his consent
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by ProfessorPeter(m): 8:16am On Jun 29, 2015
The reason i raised this issue is to correct the impression that until you do "white wedding" sleeping with your partner is sin. I ve seen how
1. Church stopped " white wedding" because the lady was pregnant before the wedding date.
2. The church suspended the couple because the woman put to bed less than nine month after their wedding.
It makes d couple look like a sinners in the eye of God and the people also see then as sinner.
CHURCH WEDDING IS NOT SCRIPTURAL. DOWRY VALIDATE BEFORE GOD N MAN, THE REST IS UNNECESSARY

1 Like

Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 10:36am On Jun 29, 2015
[quote author=vivypretty post=35269715][/quote] by wearing suit and white gown?
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by anukulapo: 10:56am On Jun 29, 2015
ProfessorPeter:
The reason i raised this issue is to correct the impression that until you do "white wedding" sleeping with your partner is sin. I ve seen how
1. Church stopped " white wedding" because the lady was pregnant before the wedding date.
2. The church suspended the couple because the woman put to bed less than nine month after their wedding.
It makes d couple look like a sinners in the eye of God and the people also see then as sinner.
CHURCH WEDDING IS NOT SCRIPTURAL. DOWRY VALIDATE BEFORE GOD N MAN, THE REST IS UNNECESSARY
Ok,now its clear to me.

All na religious bondage. Doctrine of men is not the standard of God...BUT you are also yet to show me where the bible says that DOWRY validates marriage before God and man.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 12:01pm On Jun 29, 2015
jcross19:
by wearing suit and white gown?
not all guyz were white suit or suit at all.some a white shirt.revelation 18:7-8(christ clothes his bride (the church) in his own righteousness as a garment of "fine linen,clean n white"
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by back2sender: 2:49pm On Jun 29, 2015
matt7:
This is a very interesting topic, sensitive and vital, especially for young believers who are ignorant of what the bible says.

It is not a pastor who joins a couple. Bible says , "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder" Mark 9:10.

I paid my wife bride price in January. Food and drinks were provided for the guest. The late father, represented by the brother handed my woman to me as wife. The village king and members of the kindred were there including my wife's mother and my family.

We finished everything and I took my wife to my village Afikpo in Ebonyi State.

Jejely and nwayoly we entered Lagos and some people be like "When you go do the white wedding?" and I am like " Wait you go soon get IV for the rainbow wedding , na only white you like?" As if I had just gone to play tumbo tumbo in the village.... Shioor

When we knelt before the parent of my wife and prayer was made for us, who was the prayer directed to? Is it another God somewhere? Isnt it thesame God the pastor will call on. Or is the God different?

Where is it written in the bible that a pastor must join couples. Mind you, the joining of a couple is spiritual, it is not what the pastor does on the pulpit. It is God who joins, I cannot repeat this enough.

Did Jesus, Peter, Paul or any of the apostles join anybody? I wonder where we got this junk from.

We have made the word of God of no effect because of men's tradition, that has gradually made it way into the church.

The Muslim who don't do church wedding has less number of divorce compared to we Christian who do the so called " Christian or White wedding".

FYI I am a believer by God's grace. I have my wife living with me as I speak. I feel no sense of guilt. The bible is clear on this. Lets not put yoke and unecessary burden upon people.

See the rate of promiscuity around us. Just because young men are afraid of the cost of getting married.

If a pastor feels its necessary to bless the couple. Simply call them out after Sunday service and do that and lets stop making a mountain out of a mole hill.

If you can pay the bride price and have the parent of your wife release her to you, my friend you are married. Forget the ceremony, if you have the cash, do it. If not, my brother start planning your family.

A 3 bedroom flat is around 700k now in Lagos, car is close to a million depending on your choice. School fees, pampers, NEPA bill, Lawma, Feeding etc are pending.


Dont impress publicly and suffer privately. I have said my own.... *Grabs a bottle of groundnut and tosses it gradually into the mouth*

God bless you real good for this write up. You said it the way it is.
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 2:53pm On Jun 29, 2015
vivypretty:

not all guyz were white suit or suit at all.some a white shirt.revelation 18:7-8(christ clothes his bride (the church) in his own righteousness as a garment of "fine linen,clean n white"
sir that things in revelation won't happen like that because they are just a parables ma . Okay . What we suppose is to introduce the couple to church and pray for them that's all. Church don't have her special wedding biblical , okay. But now those things were introduced by roman catholic .
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by vivypretty(f): 4:58pm On Jun 29, 2015
jcross19:
sir that things in revelation won't happen like that because they are just a parables ma . Okay . What we suppose is to introduce the couple to church and pray for them that's all. Church don't have her special wedding biblical , okay. But now those things were introduced by roman catholic .
you are right when you said "introduce the couple to church and pray for them " but talking about white you know your pocket and what you can afford
Re: Traditional Wedding Or White Wedding? by jcross19: 5:12pm On Jun 29, 2015
vivypretty:

you are right when you said "introduce the couple to church and pray for them " but talking about white you know your pocket and what you can afford
the issue of white wedding has become the custom of the church, am not opposing it but we should encourage the couple to be introduce in church and receive church blessing as well to reduce the rate of fornications in church . I won't marry until I buy suit and white gown , cook 3 bags of rice with cow and set cars entourage. That's madness.

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