₦airaland Forum

Nice write up

Insisting on Western ways while in Africa is like writing in English in a Yoruba exam. Don't blame God or the teacher for the score you'll have.

I hope we learn

I pity u, u have suffered at the hands women@buygala.
True words; Advice to wives. she who have ears let her hear and adhere to it. May the almighty God continue to bless all marriages between a man and a woman.

iRepNaija1:
If you honestly believe that rape, male chauvinism, domestic violence and etc don't happen in Nigeria, then I honestly don't know what to say to you. I really don't. I've done plenty of "research." I don't open my mouth unless I know what I'm talking about.

Why do you need to call a child born out of wedlock a bastard? Why? I really don't understand the rational.

I'm going to refer to America instead of the west because the west is made up of many different countries. You asked why should Nigerians care about America and emulate its culture? I don't know. It's not my question to answer. But no one told Nigerians to do so. Blaming America because some Nigerians decided to watch American movies, take on American mindsets and etc. is not America's fault. Was it forced on Nigeria? Maybe some Nigerians are so ready to adopt American customs and culture because they implicitly know something is missing in their own culture or they find Nigerian culture inferior. Maybe not. Again, I don't know.

America isn't going to adopt Nigeria's idea of a happy home, our values, and our customs because they don't care and they believe their ways are superior to Nigeria's. Simple.

Your arguments are pointless and you are derailing the thread. Check the meaning of the word 'bastard' again in a standard dictionary and don't let your emotions becloud your sense of reasoning.

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

u're a beautiful lady with a beautiful reasoning!!







If i can get a woman lyk u as a wife, i bet u, i'll leave long more than "METUSALA" on earth.

iRepNaija1:
If you honestly believe that rape, male chauvinism, domestic violence and etc don't happen in Nigeria, then I honestly don't know what to say to you. I really don't. I've done plenty of "research." I don't open my mouth unless I know what I'm talking about.

Why do you need to call a child born out of wedlock a bastard? Why? I really don't understand the rational.

I'm going to refer to America instead of the west because the west is made up of many different countries. You asked why should Nigerians care about America and emulate its culture? I don't know. It's not my question to answer. But no one told Nigerians to do so. Blaming America because some Nigerians decided to watch American movies, take on American mindsets and etc. is not America's fault. Was it forced on Nigeria? Maybe some Nigerians are so ready to adopt American customs and culture because they implicitly know something is missing in their own culture or they find Nigerian culture inferior. Maybe not. Again, I don't know.

America isn't going to adopt Nigeria's idea of a happy home, our values, and our customs because they don't care and they believe their ways are superior to Nigeria's. Simple.

I must confess that you were more objective and concise this time and your issue-based focus is highly appreciated. Let me quickly correct your oversight when you quoted me to have meant that vices such as rape, male chauvinism, domestic violence etc doesn't happen in Africa and Nigeria. The phrase "not peculiar " means that it isn't a problem that happens only in Africa or Nigeria alone. I must admit that it happens here just like any other continent. You also mentioned that Americans won't emulate our culture because they don't find it worthy and rightly so but my question is why should we emulate theirs? What is good about their culture? A land where a child can arrest his father for correcting him? Majority of our immoral and negative behaviours were their import ranging from pornography, homosexuality, indecent dressing etc. I feel sorry whenever I see a Nigerian trying in futility to bite their tongue while trying to speak in some foreign accent even to a fellow Nigerian. That is part of the madness and that is the inferiority complex. Everyone's culture is superior to any other in their assessment and remains so for as long as you are willing to protect it. Secondly, my definition of bastards as children born out of wedlock was drawn from the Oxford dictionary that was published in the USA. I will be extremely grateful if you can teach me the latest meaning of the word bastard since my definition is archaic as you said. You were spot on when you said Americans never compelled us to adopt there lifestyles but must we continue to disregard our rich heritage just to join the immoral bandwagon? The only area we need to fix and urgently too is the quality of governance but America shouldn't interfere especially uninvited. Lest I forget, America likes to foist their ideas into others through a cult - like initiation either directly or indirect. Why will their president be inviting our president? What is he going to tell him and who sought his opinion? Why can't Obama come to meet with Buhari in Nigeria? I heard America pledged support to help us fight Boko Haram and I ask why now? Did they not refuse to sell weapons to us at a time the insurgency could have been easily flushed out? Is it not the same America that ran away from ground zero in Afghanistan? There isn't a single policy that shows they are genuinely interested in the development of Africa.
My honest submission is that we should fix our continent and protect our culture.

iRepNaija1:
For the record, I used the term Africa because the original poster I was responding to did so. Read before you open your mouth to speak. Africa is not a country and yet your last sentence closes with, "We are Africa." And then you want to educate me and tell me that Africa is not a country and yet you clump all of the countries that make up the west together and blame your problems on them? Yeah okay, boo.

Second, I don't represent the west so if you have an issue with some vast group of western countries manipulating you, you can take it up with them. Good luck with that. Third, I want better for Nigeria. There is so much potential here but it's being squandered. If you want to pretend that Nigeria is getting wiser and doing better, go right ahead. I'm not going to play myself like that. The Nigerian people have so much more power and influence than they realize and yet it's 2015 and we don't have basic necessities.

You need to understand some people r just confused in this country. They want every other thing from the west but the women have to remain African. Yet, when they make other complaint, they refer to the west.
The Op has written what he feels. All this for the women ND the man should not over do for his in law. It's not a crime that d man married the girl but it's a crime for the girl to marry the man baa?
You expect her to take care of the house, the children, her husband must not get fat because she will push her husband away, and yet she must not close her legs when her husband wants to have sex with her.
If that is Africa, you guys need a robot not a wife.
Let us take our heads from the past and unrealistic angle that we have hanged it. You guys should stop complaining about the "Woman" all the time and encourage your selves to be better dad's than our Dada were. The fact that it is how it has been doesn't make it all right. Which is why every one clamors for a better political arena.
If the women complain it is termed "feminism" and wanting to copy the west.
Women just want better deals and better treatment is all.

VictoriaBee:
I am sure a man wrote this but if that's a woman, could you please tell her things are fast evolving and no lady would be a doormat these days except dumb and leech ones that know not their right and wrong.

You're correct, just like those right and wrong knowing ladies wear plastic smiles in public but cry themselves to sleep in their empty large apartments. Not everything you see on TV is actually tenable in reality.

Story 4d gods! After obeying ds ur 12commandments dats wen d man will even use u 4 a footmat mtcheeeeew

On point........

Epic

histemple:
You are sounding so embittered. I hope all is well? I can feel a sense of anger from your response but please be reminded that Nairaland is a forum where everyone is entitled to their opinion. No insult please.

you dont have to always pay heed to every comment.besides isnt neocortex the woman who posted some divorce issues with her husband sometime?

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

This is the attitude every good wife should embrace. Are u still single?

troy20:
you dont have to always pay heed to every comment.besides isnt neocortex the woman who posted some divorce issues with her husband sometime?

I ain't a female and never posted about divorce as you stated.
So I didn't post a "divorce issue about husband"
Besides we should stop thinking that divorce=death.

I am just a concerned person who feel that women dignity should
be protected and they should be accorded the right to live a
a happy and fulfilled life not in a pretentious utopia of "if only am a man".

Besides, people always respond to messages that contain truth regardless
of whether they like the message or not.

sonnie10:
Words From A Mother To Her Daughter About Marriage by ozzugworlee(m): 4:44pm On May 06
WORDS FROM A MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. The wife that wins all arguments with her husband is not wise. The home is not a law court.
2. The wife that uses sex as a weapon in the home - placing embargo, going to bed in jeans shorts and trousers - lacks wisdom.
3. The wife that uses the modern trends and laws of "women's rights" to insult or ridicule her husband simply makes a fool of herself.
4. A woman that makes her home devoid of peace through bickering, nagging and quarrels needs help. A man should be eager to run away from office to be at home, for that should be the safest and cosiest place on earth for him.
5. Modern-day equality in marriage does not mean competition. It simply means partnership. Taking advantage of such equality to turn around and become the de facto head of the home and oppress the man is tantamount to playing with fire. If you destroy your home, soon you will be the boss of an empty home.
6. A wise wife makes the man feel so good that he assumes that he is the head. Once he gets that feeling, the woman gently wields her power and the head actually turns to wherever the neck wants without a protest.
7. A wife that does not pull herself away from friends' influence and advice or even from the control of her mother and father will have herself to blame.
8. When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses women of different shapes and sizes to choose a wife. But soon after childbirth, many women hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of themselves. Many stop bothering about their looks, shape, dressing, etc. Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man's aunt, even though she is 7 years younger. Her defence is that if he truly loves her, he should love her the way she is, but when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the former YOU. Today, you go to bed smelling of onions.... You go to bed wearing grandmothers' clothes. Why are you playing with your marriage? Love is not about looks - we know. But looks enhances love and marriage. There is a difference between someone disfiguring herself and the person being disfigured by an accident.
Please don't be complacent. As hard as it may be, work on looking like you were when he first saw you and began the chase.
9. If every night you are tired, sleepy, sore, down with headache or fever, "not in the mood," you are a joker, a serious comedian!
10. If your children suddenly become more important to you than your husband, you need prayers.
11. If you assume that as the woman, only you need to be pampered and fussed over while the man is a stone that has no emotions, you need to be pitied.
12. A woman that has the mind of a wife does not excite her husband. Wives are usually complacent and presumptuous. A wife must strive to have the mind of a girlfriend. A girlfriend is always nicer, sweeter, more loving and always thinking of ways to wow her sweetheart; a girlfriend does not try to win all arguments, does not call the man a "useless man", is not careless about her looks or dressing, always smiles and laughs with the man, sends the man sweet messages and calls, etc. Are you your husband's girlfriend in word and in deed?
LASTLY, DO NOT INFORM ME OF YOUR QUARRELS, I DIDN’T JOIN YOU TOGETHER, GOD DID, GO AND INFORM HIM AND HE WILL SORT YOU OUT.

(Quote) (Report) 1 Like (Like) 1 Share (Share)

This is so heart breaking that people would not even give credit.

Give credit to? Did you compose the write up? U copied and posted just like I did. Its just to pass a message along. Why are u fighting for right over something this trivial?

You don't know the west?

It's Armageddon on earth.

Some yeye folks sha.
You go tire to reason with some people.

iRepNaija1:
Do you even live in the West? You don't even know what you're talking about. First, children who are born out of wedlock are not bastards, they're children. Stop using such a degrading and archaic term. It's embarrassing. Second, I'm tired of people taking every opportunity to bash the west, a place some of them have never even stepped foot in, to hype up Nigeria and make themselves feel better about their standing in the world. Here's the truth about us: no one in the west cares about our "African values" (or if we're trying to live the European lifestyle) when our government can't even provide basic electricity, clean water, smooth roads, healthcare/medicine to its people. They don't care about our "values" when our politicians openly steal while we punish the average Nigerian with jungle justice for stealing an apple. They don't care if a wife can make an enviable home when those same women are suffering from rape, domestic violence, and misogyny/sexism. They don't care if a man is the head of the household when a considerable number of them can't read, can't find employment, can't feed themselves or their families. They don't care that our GDP is the highest in Africa when more than half of our people live below the poverty line. They laugh at us. They think we're backwards and all they see is poor black people living in a poor country who are very eager to come to the west. Enough of this high horse b.s. talk because if we had such "superior values," we should have fixed our country by now.

AkpAkp1:
Nice write up.... Pls next time indicate the source

Its a whatsapp BC I got.

3.The wife that uses the modern trends and laws of "women's rights" to insult or ridicule her husband simply makes a fool of herself.

so on point....

troy205693077: you dont have to always pay heed to every comment.besides isnt neocortex the woman who posted some divorce issues with her husband sometime?

Thanks. I didn't know about that antecedent but I just saw the post about a N92Bn divorce suit against a man. These are the ills they are emulating the west for. Above all, I am pleased with all those who commented on the post.

https://www.nairaland.com/2018864/wife-awarded-n93bn-record-divorce

quote author=neocortex post=35693615]

I ain't a female and I never posted anything about divorce.

I am just a concerned person who feel that women dignity should
be protected and they should be accorded the right to live a
a happy and fulfilled life not in a pretentious utopia of "if only am a man".

Besides, people always respond to messages that contain truth regardless
of whether they like the message or not.

HMMMMMMMM I AM SHAKING FOR neocortex.

I am shocked to my bone marrow that you are denying ever posting any article on divorce. Based on this mendacity, it is now difficult to rate your integrity on the high until you go through the link above and convince us that you were truthful in your denial.

histemple:
Thanks. I didn't know about that antecedent but I just saw the post about a N92Bn divorce suit against a man. These are the ills they are emulating the west for. Above all, I am pleased with all those who commented on the post.

You made my thread rock. Thumbs up and God bless your brain to make a very happy home!!!

histemple:
https://www.nairaland.com/2018864/wife-awarded-n93bn-record-divorce

quote author=neocortex post=35693615]

I ain't a female and I never posted anything about divorce.

I am just a concerned person who feel that women dignity should
be protected and they should be accorded the right to live a
a happy and fulfilled life not in a pretentious utopia of "if only am a man".

Besides, people always respond to messages that contain truth regardless
of whether they like the message or not.

HMMMMMMMM I AM SHAKING FOR neocortex.

I am shocked to my bone marrow that you are denying ever posting any article on divorce. Based on this mendacity, it is now difficult to rate your integrity on the high until you go through the link above and convince us that you were truthful in your denial.

You should know that my reply was based on the other posters, who claimed
that I posted about " divorce with a husband" which is false. The divorce case
I posted was foreign and it serve more as a joke/warning.

At the bolded how does your "integrity" rating relate to this post ?

If it makes you feel good playing games go right ahead
but there is no point in being mischievous!

BeauHomme:
Nice write up

Insisting on Western ways while in Africa is like writing in English in a Yoruba exam. Don't blame God or the teacher for the score you'll have.

I hope we learn

Now this got me laughing.

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

Waohhhhhhhhhhhh... How I wish I could be the real owner of a refined personality like this? Ladies with this kind of mentality are very scarce.

very nice peace of advice.,but can our modern girls now heed thus advice.,b/c many if them clung to ill advice of their friends.,by making live hell for their hubby in their homes...,thinking it's their right...,not knowing they are destroying their marriage..,(a word is enough for a wise.)

Nice post.

[color=#990000][/color]U have spoken well. Indeed u are an African mother love ur quote

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

Nigerian women for you...

@OP...nice post

Pamelayoung:
Story 4d gods! After obeying ds ur 12commandments dats wen d man will even use u 4 a footmat mtcheeeeew

.

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

good talk maam

U see why we prefer DATING to getting MARRIED..

I will continue accumulating GIRLFRIENDS

OP, May GOD BLESS U and ORDER your steps... eeessseee

Why should my wife go to bed smelling of onions? She be suya?