jnrbayano:
You were making sense until no 2.

"Igbos" are not expensive. The bride price paid to the bride's family is returned to the man in a 9 out of 10 situation (the bride price paid in the head of each of my 3 sisters were returned)

Gurgle:


ok

how would you prefer me to have spoken

Gurgle:


I originally said "your picture looks beautiful", and then tunnamania11 asked the same question you are asking. So I changed it

I actually wanted to write "youre beautiful" but thought that would sound too creepy for somebody I haven't met

I'm glad I didn't, you can see how people are ambushing me with the one I even wrote

Chai

uduokirika1:
And u. Believed d counsellor. Because he was on TV Btw u and igbo ladies I don't know who to pity

Demigods:






Girl I like the way you are calm and cool headed, like jega, I commend you for this, I like get wife like you when they well behaved, me likey

Gurgle:



1. Yes people should cut cloth according to their size, so women shouldn't be too demanding or if they want all those wedding ceremonies they should be willing to contribute. Personally I am only interested in traditional marriage, and I would try to help fund it since I know the whole thing mostly concerns me

2. Not all Igbo ladies are naturally at risk. I hate it when people use this bride price thing against Igbos; everybody knows how decentralised Igbo people are so if you have a custom in one Igbo clan it doesn't necessarily apply to another clan. I agree that some clans are very extortionate but not all are, for example my place is not. And if you know your area is like that, or the area the lady is from will ask for a lot of things then why not prepare in advance instead of coming on here to complain

Plus, when the bride price is being negotiated, a lot of it is done by village elders who a lot of the time have never even bothered to find out how the girl was progressing all along, then when they hear she is marrying they descend on it like vultures. And the woman often has no say in a lot of the negotiations, except maybe the part of the bride-price that is paid to her father or whoever is replacing her father if he is late. So its not the woman's fault in this case

3. How many struggling men will continue with the same girl after they have made it, and not try to upgrade?

4. Whatever religion or faith you are you should try and think for yourself, especially when it comes to something as important as marriage. I don't know what kind of church OP is referring to but I guess its one of those "my pastor says this, my pastor says that" ones which I tend to think is nonsense but I may visit one of them one of these days and see if any of them has anything useful to say.

The lady he is complaining about had a belief she was trying to uphold but she could have called OP when he was still sick and explained why she didn't want to visit. Anyway OP was wrong to cut off the friendship because although she explained it late, its still a genuine reason and I think he was too proud and he overreacted. Everybody knows the temptation of seeing a guy at home, she was just trying to protect herself. If somebody scolded me for not visiting him at home I would literally never ever speak to him again. How dare he?!

5. Rough past is what it is, unfortunately. After conversing with many guys on NL I can see how important it is to keep as clean as possible, though we may slip from time to time. If there is too much in your past it becomes difficult for the man to cope with, although most of these men are the same ones going around destroying other men's future wives, so I don't know.

This is one of the things that makes me to think that the world is just as it is, not as it should be. After eating all a girl's food and probably forcing her to go through several abortions they still demand a virgin later on

6. Yeah we should all be working on being good wife material, definitely. Well we should just work on being good people, which makes us wife material by default

What do these pastors usually say and do in these deliverance sessions self. I'm thinking of visiting a pastor to see what they usually say to people. I am from a different church background and I dont think I have ever even met a pastor before. Maybe he can shed some light on me, not that im rushing to marry at the moment

What do you think about OPs points, do you agree?

excellentmomma:
Another big reason:

No direction and focus in life, believing a man should carry all of their burden, while a woman's duty is just to makeup and roam.

These days most responsible men will pick u if you are busy doing something meaningful not necessarily for money, even if it is community service, just be useful and busy. Not a gossip gang.
Be responsible.

Gurgle:


Well thank you but if you keep reading further down the thread I did lose my temper with one fellow I was doing so well

Neplusultra:
Dont mind dat thing!

Toks2008:


Thats too harsh habba. awe still have good ones at least one out of 1000

uduokirika1:
adaoma udo di

Gentle2015:



...That is how I was scammed. Couldn't dance well throughout after I was told that #10 was the bride price out of the #850k I dropped. I took responsibility for everything both from my side and my in laws. My expectation was that I will still have my #850k back and won't mind spending more for the main thing. I felt depressed later and even took it on my wife for few days. Seriously, I felt cheated and this took toll on my planned honey moon trip.

Be careful, there is nothing like returned of bride price

vickylala239:


So u Dnt understand Wat she meant.
Cuz is like u Dnt get,
It is a new code Dat gels use on gels,to knw if u r among dem or if u decode.
Bt u didn't,rather u thanked ha.
She is trying to tell u Dat she is a lesbian,Weda u are one too.
Actually she s interested in you.
Sowi I Hv xposed ha.I knw she will try to cover ha track by denying.
Bt Nw u knw.

Demigods:


Lol, it's normal, there is a limit one can take when pushed to the wall, just have to ignore the annoying peps,

Gurgle:


Lol

Thank you Sir

Lizabeth25:
You are right though but the 4th point funny small......

Toks2008:


I guess you need to assimilate and decipher my point. You will agree with me that there is a general mindset that Igbo ladies are expensive right? So im not saying that is true yet that seem to be the belief in many quarters especially the non igbo tribes so that was why i wrote that it is the duty of the lady to let the guy in her life understand that her case is not so.

Have you realized that Igbo guys now come for Yoruba ladies and some have argued that its because they are cheap but HELL NO.Its a cultural practice and been cheap is very relative.

Is been cheap about bride price or cost of marriage,Nah i think been cheap is about the decency of the lady in question.

Odunharry:

Long time ...how work

Gentle2015:



...That is how I was scammed. Couldn't dance well throughout after I was told that #10 was the bride price out of the #850k I dropped. I took responsibility for everything both from my side and my in laws. My expectation was that I will still have my #850k back and won't mind spending more for the main thing. I felt depressed later and even took it on my wife for few days. Seriously, I felt cheated and this took toll on my planned honey moon trip.

Be careful, there is nothing like returned of bride price

Toks2008:



Let me confess,i get sexually turned on when i hear an intelligent lady talk intellectually and i can't help falling in love with a lady who is intelligent no matter how ugly and let go of a brainless blac chyna.

I doff my hat for your intelligent arguments but let me just clear some of your deductions.

1. As per #1 you nailed it and please advice other ladies to reason as you do and i really hope you find a reasonable man who will never take advantage of your wonderful stand view.

2.You got that part wrong,i never wrote that all Igbo ladies are expensive to marry but ITS A GENERAL BELIEF by many guys that igbo ladies are expensive hence the need for any igbo lady in any committed affair with a man to start singing this into the ears of the man so that this erroneous belief will be expunged from his mentality.

3.Many ladies always get it wrong.A man may not stay sexually faithful to you because you were there for him when he had nothing BUT HE WILL NEVER EVER JOKE WITH YOU and given the chance that you remain by his side without bleeping up,he will most likely marry you even if he marries and beds other women.

Many ladies always expect that because they were there fore him,he should not even touch other ladies but this belief should be discarded.Look at Abiola,2baba,basket mouth,P square and even Olamide who sang melo melo for his lady who have been there for him.

Guys will almost never ever let go of a lady who have been there for them when they had nothing.I am a man and im telling you this raw truth so when next you se a made man and you jump on him,don't be fooled because he probably has a lady he cherishes far far above you.

4.This lady in question will still and forever be a friend to me because i invest so much in human relationship and no matter what you do to hurt me,i will always remain friends with you and never veer cut you off.

The truth is that i was getting to really love her but i have made some little sacrifices to show my care but just that one time that she had the chance to show a litle care,she blew it up due to crazy doctrinal dogma.

5.I am one guy who does not care about a ladies past as long as it does not affect the future. Like if your past abortions won't stop you from conceiving or if i will not see a crazy guy disturbing you while with me and stuffs like that.Any man who truly wnats you should know about your past to avoid unpleasant surprises but should not dwell on that.

6.Work on being a good person and invariably will be a good wife. For instance when i tell people i have been with just 2 ladies for the past 20years they scream and i always ask why? I am a sexually decent guy and always love to be with one lady not because of the love i have for her or not because i don't desire other ladies but as a believer i try to make GOD happy so Yes i agree with you that by trying to please GOD,by default we will apparently please our spouse.


As per that deliverance thing oh my you will laugh,husband hustle and after the deliverance they will ask the lady when she wants the man to walk into her life and she will say immediately then the man of GOD will decree that the man should locate her and stuffs like that.

I am not making mockery of the spiritual thingy though but its pretty funny howe it plays out.

naijaboiy:
Well sometimes you can't blame the ladies.

There are some factors which you listed above that they have little or no control over.

Like the issue of bride price in the east.

I'm not from the east but what I could gather is that this bride price is more like a tradition to them and they can't start changing it. Most of the time the women are not allowed to have a say in the matter and that is how they lose prospective husbands.

The family members don't care about the effect this bride price issue of a thing is affecting their girls.

You see a very beautiful woman who is still single simply because her family has put a very high price on her head and no man is ready to come and pay such an amount to get married to her.

As for some of the other points,,the women who are guilty of it should better change.

Shaadey:
hmmmm.....am short of wOrds

Neplusultra:
Yes o!

Edusouls:
niger guys leave niger girls oooo, let me tell you guys,i know its painful guys, but let me you people the real fact, nigerian girls are the way they are, u cant just change these girls, they reason upside down and most of them are unfortunately mentally retarded, their brains have been set,the nigerian years of economic hardship,suffering have depressed these girls, so lets see it that way..

Lizabeth25:
work is fine.....lost my phone nii...that is y I dont have you on the new contact. how are u?

Odunharry:

Good dear and you??really bn a while. .Will inbox you my pin