₦airaland Forum

onlykach:
There is nothing to talk about, I had a similar experience and i almost died, my supposed to be wife was still dating her ex up till the point she received gifts and she says she was still wiith me.

I was even told one day while she was chatting with the ex that the ex was a cab guy that will pick her from the airport.

I was shocked, very shocked i was sick for weeks when i foundout it was her ex and she did not deny it.

Meanwhile i married some one else and i am very very happy.

I will advise the guy to back down ...

Moana:
to be honest this story just sounds like an excuse for him to cheat on her during the marriage, if there really was a sound reason for him to leave he would have left her already no questions asked. You go for lunch with a guy =i sleep with 100women while married to you

proxillin:
My friend’s wedding is coming up by next month. I am to be one of his men in suit.

I noticed they are quarreling recently. He opened up to me yesterday.

They are looking for a DJ to play at their reception, so his wifeToBe got a number of one DJ, added him on whatsap and they started chatting. My guy trusted the lady that she is just doing business chat with the DJ.

One day, my friend was going through her whatsapp chat with the DJ. The WifeTB told the DJ that she needs the service of the DJ for her friend’s wedding. She didn’t tell the DJ she is actually the one wedding.

The DJ started asking her out for date. She agreed to meet the DJ for a date somewhere.

My guy saw all that, yet he kept quiet and didn’t want to raise the issue with the lady as their wedding is close, before people start saying he is jealous, he is spying on his girl blahblah.

But my friend could not endure the whole thing again when the DJ started calling her repeatedly. They engage in confidential phone calls. She will be laughing…all Yes No Yes No Ok.. Ok hmmmm conversation, so that someone nearby will not understand what they are saying. At times she excuses my guy to go and pick the DJ’s call.
My guy finally confronted her, why all conversations with the DJ are not business and formal. Why is she hiding things from him?

The wifetobe went mad she alleged my guy is jealous, wrongly suspecting her.

My friend told her, he actually read their chats where they agreed to go out on a date.
That’s when she admitted that he actually asked her to meet him somewhere for a hangout.
She said she had nothing in mind for him. She is only going to meet him as friend at a restaurant. Nothing is going to happen. It’s just a harmless date.

My friend opened up to me that he regretted making decision to marry her. He told me a lot of things that he can’t cancel the wedding again. He will be part of the wedding, but after the wedding, he will start f***cking girls. He will make life difficult for her.

I told him, it’s better to remain single than to go into a hateful marriage.
Deep down in me, I can’t advise him to cancel the wedding.
I have summoned them for a meeting to discuss it and settle it. But that lady can be arrogant at times. My peace meeting may or may not be successful.

Is it normal for a lady to go out on a date with another guy just a month to her wedding?

Moana:
difference between your case is you had solid evidence and the OP's basing his decision on an assumption.

My friend told her, he actually read their chats where they agreed to go out on a date.
That’s when she admitted that he actually asked her to meet him somewhere for a hangout.
She said she had nothing in mind for him. She is only going to meet him as friend at a restaurant. Nothing is going to happen. It’s just a harmless date.

proxillin:
Did he write in his story that he caught his girl on bed with another man. Ladies dont get caught during the act.

Please answer the following question.

The DJ that is suppose to render service for you and your husband.

1. Why must you engage in secret chat with him? Why not business chat? Why can't you pick his call in front of your man?

2. Someone who is suppose to be a business/customer. Why going out on a date with a customer?

So these are no evidence of cheating?

So my guy must see them fcking on the bed before he conclude she is cheating.

I think this is about reasoning. Some people have problem with reasoningg.

Moana:
P im sorry your friend just sounds like someone who is or has been cheating before and the thought of having the same game played on him is unbearable. If he is definitely sure this is what is happening why is he still planning on marrying the woman (whom if she is really cheating might even bring extra-martial children into the house). Let's be logical here, this just sounds like a juvinile excuse a guy would want to use to get away with murder everytime.

He doesnt need to catch a guy on top of her but you know very well that is he had something more solid to verify that the lady is indeed flirting with the guy he would not be continuing with the marriage at all.

vague:
This just sounds like a flimsy excuse a cheating guy would want to use over his wife in the future. All of this is based on what he thinks his wife might be doing not what she os actually doing. If you ask me she is better off unmarried.

No sensible guy would continue with a marriage when he know very well his wife is not loyal. The whole point of him continuing with the marriage is so that he can use this incident as a reason for him to cheat for the rest of his married life.

Moana:
my thoughts as well

proxillin:
So you think from your right senses that its easy to call of a wedding just few days to go easily.

Its easier said than done. he is confused now.

I pray you dont experience that.

Many inexperience giving advice here. Sit down and place your legs in his shoe.

You just call of wedding in a twinkle of an eye. You dont sit down to analyze the whole thing ?

moana: I dont think it makes sense to just assume something and act on it immediately. They need to sit down have a serious talk about this. If it means including the DJ and clearing things out just to be sure of whats really going on, then taking proper action after that.

proxillin:
This is not the first time its happening.

It has happened to a lady I know. A day to their wedding, he caught her guy fcking another girl.

She weighed her options "she could not handle the stress and disappointment of cancellation"

Up till now, she could not forgive the guy although they are married.

This is reality. This is not movie.

It happens in 20 out of 100 weddings. people just cover it up.

Moana:
You decided to close your eyes when i posted this, so you can't blame me for what you decide to ignore.



The fact that your friend (its probably you so who knows) decided to just cheat after marriage without finding out whats really going on proves that he has plans of using it to his own advantage at some point.

Its much easier to call of a wedding than live a lifetime of a broken marriage. We all know thats much more costly.

Moana:
you want to keep using examples where people actually had the truth staring them right in the face to justify an assumption your have no interest in verfying? Oya continue with your marriage, you think my life will be affected when you openly bring STIs and extra-marital children into your home, all because of something you assumed was happening? Its your life, how you decide to shorten it will not affect mine. Clearly thats what you want to hear.

proxillin:
So its assumption.

Going out on a secret date with a DJ few days to her wedding is assumption.

And she admitted she is going on a date. But she is not gonna fck the DJ. How is she sure she is not gonna fck the DJ?

I think you have moral issue. If you cant see that as bad, then we all know the type of person you are.

Moana:
Pick which one you want, didnt you already say " deep down you cannot advise him to cancel the wedding" ?

By going on a date im assuming you mean meeting the guy for a meal and probably discussing the wedding right? Why not clear up the issue on why they met outside without him and why they still communicate regularly before deciding to revenge on something he is not even 100% sure of?

If there is any truth at all to what he is assuming is happening, why is he not making any effort to clear things up with his wife-to-be and the DJ in question, instead of just running off to say i will cheat and bring girls into our home?

Moana:
Pick which one you want, didnt you already say " deep down you cannot advise him to cancel the wedding" ?

By going on a date im assuming you mean meeting the guy for a meal and probably discussing the wedding right? Why not clear up the issue on why they met outside without him and why they still communicate regularly before deciding to revenge on something he is not even 100% sure of?

If there is any truth at all to what he is assuming is happening, why is he not making any effort to clear things up with his wife-to-be and the DJ in question, instead of just running off to say i will cheat and bring girls into our home?

proxillin:
Jez...

Can you do all these?

1. A DJ that will play on your wedding for business, Can you chat eroti_ca and romantic with him? What has business got to do with Romance?

2. The DJ asking her out and she didnt tell him she is engaged and infact about to wed. Can you do that to your man?

3. She was denying having confidential chat with the DJ until my guy presented an evidence before she admitted she is going on a date, but she doesnt love the DJ. Must you love someone before you fck that person?

4. Why cant she pick the DJ calls in front of her husband to be. The same person who will pay for the DJ.

Based on the item above, If you keep mentioning the woord "Assumption" like a zombie, then you have a problem.

hotwax:
Oh boy see the way this one reasoned.

meeen our girls are morally rotten.

Moana:
I have already said what i have to say, if you are the husband-to-be in question, if you plan on cheating on your wife and brings children and diseases into your marriage it will not be Moana that will die or be destroyed.

A matured guy who has plans on having a successful marriage would make efforts to put everything in the open before he says i do on the alter. You however have no intentions of doing so and neither do you want to cancel the wedding.

Please go marry your woman and cheat on her based on what you have not fully uncovered, see if i will lose an eye or grow a pimple because of it. Haba will the world end because you have decided to turn your marriage into a play ground? Oya, do it and see if the Rapture will not occur because of it.

Moana:
im not one of your girls so please leave me alone.

proxillin:
Yes we all know its not gud for the man to start cheating on his wife. I even advised him accordingly. Even male all folks commenting here are all against it.

But the fact still remains, the lady is a cheat. She is the cause of all these wahala. I know you have a problem with that.

The guy is equally at fault here. We all agreed.

But your comments shows you are looking away from the real issue. Trying to justify what the girl did is nonsense

hotwax:
Wait a minute..Are u married?

Moana:
Moana said sit down with both of them to really understand whats going on. You no go gree. So what else do you want from me? To just run all manner of insults on the woman to make you feel better about getting married with plans to subotage the union?

Moana says okay don't get married then. You come back to scream, "its not easy to call off a wedding". So should i kill myself now? Should i throw you a pity party?

What do you want exactly?

proxillin:
Moana was insisting she was not cheating. No evidence...its all assumption. Moana keeps going back and forth

Moana:
to be honest this story just sounds like an excuse for him to cheat on her during the marriage, if there really was a sound reason for him to leave he would have left her already no questions asked. You go for lunch with a guy =i sleep with 100women while married to you

Moana:
I insisted that you clear things up with the lady and the DJ because from what i read its clear that you have come up to a conclusion that she is cheating based on assumptions.

There is no point in getting married to someone you cannot communicate and be open with. You have no interests on sitting down with them, you have no interests in cancelling the wedding but you do have an interest in having extra-marital affairs. So what else do you want me to say?

1. A DJ that will play on your wedding for business, Can you chat eroti_ca and romantic with him? What has business got to do with Romance?

2. The DJ asking her out and she didnt tell him she is engaged and infact about to wed. Can you do that to your man?

3. She was denying having confidential chat with the DJ until my guy presented an evidence before she admitted she is going on a date, but she doesnt love the DJ. Must you love someone before you fck that person?

4. Why cant she pick the DJ calls in front of her husband to be. The same person who will pay for the DJ.

Based on the item above, If you keep mentioning the woord "Assumption" like a zombie, then you have a problem.

proxillin:
You keep mentioning that assumption.

I have to come to conclusion that she is cheating because we didnt catch them on the bed. I came to conclusion when the perpetrator of the crime have accepted and only trying to assure her husband she wont fck the DJ.

You are here defending her while she admitted it, but not gonna fck the DJ. Its feminist thing sha. Defending a fellow lady or a patner in crime. Its psychological. However, we have seen some comment from some ladies with dignities. It shows that not all ladies are bad. Some ladies came out against the lady.

You insisted I clear things up. I did, yet you ignored the facts. You have already made up your mind. You see this a se.x war. Its far from it. We have seen guys indulging in the same act. Cheating on their wives few days to wedding. I as a guy will not support that.

proxillin:
Dear Vague,

Did you read this part?



[size=15pt]Please read over again.[/size]

This just sounds like a flimsy excuse a cheating guy would want to use over his wife in the future. All of this is based on what he thinks his wife might be doing not what she os actually doing. If you ask me she is better off unmarried.

No sensible guy would continue with a marriage when he know very well his wife is not loyal. The whole point of him continuing with the marriage is so that he can use this incident as a reason for him to cheat for the rest of his married life.

Moana:
how is it not assumptions if you havent set down with both of them to discuss whats going on (and setting boundaries if you still plan on getting married)?
Are you not basing your decision on what you are thinking as opposed to what you have actually verified?



Of course lets blame everything on feminism, this is Nairaland after all. You clearly didn't bring your story to NL get advice, you just came to get a pity party. Now that you have achieved your purpose, go ahead with your already doomed marriage and see if it will affect the price of garri in Ibadan.

Why ask for advice if you are not willing to take it? You dont want to communicate and you dont want to break up, but your focus is on revenge abi? Will it be me paying child support for extra-marital children or taking ARVs 5-10yrs down the line? I highly doubt it.