₦airaland Forum

Op I really like the way you took this topic, very great advice you can, also u didn't take it too spiritual, only made reference to the bible once, which makes it appealing to all, your points are very true and right, but this world we are nowadays has made everything seem soo difficult, but I believe it's achievable if one is determined and extra focused. Nice write up

HeartRobber:
Truth be told

Sex is good in a relationship, it nurtures relationship

shut up dumb head,so all these explanations done here u still cant learn that sex is the major destroyer of courtships, so which truth be told? You idiot how many girls have you had sex with? And all these broken relationships here and there, havent they had sex? So why should they break up...fool.

bamac:
It is a long one, please bare with me..

Through conceptual clarification i could deduce that "relationship is the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other.
It is also a romantic or sexual friendship between two people: the way in which two or more people or things are connected".

Sex on the other hand is the "physical activities in which people touch each other's bodies, kiss each other, etc. :physical activities that is related to and often and often includes sexual intercourse".

Many youths of today have likened relationship to be sex which shouldn't be so.

Relationship and sex might work hand-in-hand but it shouldn't be incorporated at the wrong time.

The opportunity for courtship is being abused on a daily basis just because we try to make relationship work through sex.

So many young girls have involved themselves in premarital sex which has led to unwanted pregnancy which some will abort while some will be forced to give birth at a tender age.

Everything in life is by stage. Yes, it is not possible you wake up one day and conclude that you want to get married without having someone you are dating that you have known for some months.

But the fact is that relationship and sex are two different things that should only be linked at the appropriate time.

So many men made their lady believe that if the lady did not have sex with them then she doesn't love them.

See, if you want to love, nobody will stop you from loving anybody, but don't pretend to love when your ultimate goal is to get under her.

Don't make her believe that sex makes relationship stronger.

Premarital sex doesn't make any relationship stronger, it kills the relationship especially when the intention is not for marriage.

Even at a stage, couples that didn't involve in premarital sex get tired of having sex with each other, then if that is the case, are you not making it a bit faster to lose thirst for sex?

I think ladies of this generation should have become wiser enough to decide about their life earlier than 18years.

Some men will only have sex with a lady ones and that's all. You should be able to keep your precious self away from the beast in men.

Many men out their are no more interested in staying with a woman for so long, they will tell you they don't like eating a particular food twice but love to eat different kinds of food.

They will come to you and give you all the sweet words and you will gladly accept them and even release your body to them like sheep without Shepherd.

You are the only one that can destroy yourself. You only go into wrong hands if you did not say yes to the right person.

During courtship you are free to decide if you can cope with each other or not, and you can choose to continue or discontinue your relationship.

But now a days, ladies find it difficult to leave the beast they are into relationship with simply because they have engaged in sex which has made her emotionally attached with the man.

That way, it will not be easy for her to say no when she should have said it.

Some men change immediately they have sex with their lady. The sex will automatically be an eye opener for them, they will want to explore more, thereby exposing them to any other things in skirt.

I am not saying it is not good to introduce sex in your relationship, but it is necessary to introduce it at the appropriate time to avoid the series of disadvantages associated with it.

It makes relationship stronger but this is for the couple and perhaps serious minded couple-to-be. Biblically it is not for those who are not married, in fact, it is a sin.

Some men are only interested in getting under a lady, but how will you decipher the true man from the fake? You can be safe if you keep your precious part till the right time.

Those that are even married can get divorced anytime let alone those that are not.

Though, some ladies are the cause of their own fall. They cannot do without sex, and so many reasons got them so attracted to that which we might not blame them for some, while some are due to covetousness and love of money.

Sex in courtship can mar your marital life more than it can make it.
Be wise and never give yourself room to regret your impatient.


Please your comments, criticism, likes and share will only encourage me, i will be so glad to see them coming...

http://bamisepeters.com/2015/08/sex-will-make-your-relationship.html

@Op, ur post is pointless, only God knows how it got 2 fp. You keep directing insults @ men, saying men are beasts .FYI sex could be initiated by anybody, nt necessary men, infact some ladies can't cope without sex cuz they feel so insecure as to if the guy is capable or not.

what a post!

why can't any post about sex and relationships be unbiased?

"the beast in men"
why are men always taking the blame/insults, is sex not a natural urge in women?

why do we deceive ourselves that every man or woman will marry in this life?

premarital sex can't be a sin when there is no intention to marry or be married.

As you said, if couple that abstained from premarital sex with each other still lose the thirst for sex (with each other), what happens then?

Polygamous relationship is an inherent trait in man right from the days of Papa Abraham and we assume otherwise only based on our religious filter.

davien:
Everything isn't as black and white as the op believes,in a relationship,sex doesn't necessarily end it...and it isn't just men that request for sex first in a relationship(i sure didn't)...neither does it make a man something less for requesting for it because he can only proceed if you consent to it.

Most times sex could be a factor to consider before marrying someone before it then becomes a factor after marriage that'll lead to insecurities and promiscuity.

noo brother u re wrong, sex is the major cause of break ups in a relationship,this guy is just right,once the first,second and third sex,problems starts to come and 95% of courtships will end,sex is for the matured courtships not abusing it anyhow,as it is done today by youths,yes sex is vry crucial in marriage,just like others,but it still not the main thing in marriage,if it is then why the high rate of divorce...

Damalex4luv:
May God help us with all this sex related news. Everyday will keep on hearing about sex as if Nigerians don't think about other things other than sex. May God save us, nice write-up @Op

am telling you brother,it is madness more at the male part, the craze for sex is so much that u begin to wonder if our mind is really so idle,so much idle and sex starved men doing anything to get under a girls skirt,at the end only just a few get it.brother african man get wahala, thats why we are called black monkeys.

Freshboi:
OP forgot his medicine Are you a virgin?

black man monkey...

debo07:
I LOVE SEX LIKE TOMORROW NO DEY

noise maker, and how many girls have u even seen their pants,talkless of getting in there..

Don't know why u waste ur time typing this long story

SEX IS FOR MARRIED COUPLES ONLY! And it keeps their relationship stronger .

icekoko:
Sex helps relatonships, atleast its the intimate thing lovers share, Love making is worth doing and when indulging in it do it cos u want to and not cos u are expecting sometin in return.

so you mean you don't expect anything in return?

ghostdvirus:
U can only listen to dis type advice only if nd only u never have sex before
But I don do am before nd I can't stop it,I ll share this link to my acclaimed virgin friend

idle dog, what else are u good in?

Why u no go love am.

macfarland:
Sex in this time and age get appropriate time? Look at this girl...you fvcked this guy during your Jamb days tire...now u went to university and decided to fvck every guy in campus...coursemates...ur lecturers...and u upgraded to fvcking those married men from ur 300level till ur final year in the university...and while u are waiting for NYSC na so u were fvcking this uncle and some of these oil boys for brazillian hair...now u went to NYSC camp and had sex all the hiden corners of the camp...and co-habited with this dirty yoruba boy during your primary assignment at Jalingo fvcking him every single nite and aborting five times for him. You left ur place of primary assignment travel go lagos go fvck...travel for friends wedding in abuja and fvck there...Now you are now in Port Harcourt looking for job...and port harcourt men dey tell u brin your CV...and you open leg fvck them. I met you at Winners Chapel gate and liked you. As a single oil boy who wanna settle down....I have engaged u and want to marry you...and u come dey tell me pastor said...sex get appropriate time...I should wait and be patient till we marry...Thunder fire u there!!!

you just described a typical naija lady,the rate which the b!tches are fuckkking nowadays is alarming and they are no longer satisfied with only one dick,the funny thing is that after they had messed up with every dick and harry,they will be looking for a God fearing man who will settle for their over used pusys.

bamac:
It is a long one, please bare with me..

Through conceptual clarification i could deduce that "relationship is the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other.
It is also a romantic or sexual friendship between two people: the way in which two or more people or things are connected".

Sex on the other hand is the "physical activities in which people touch each other's bodies, kiss each other, etc. :physical activities that is related to and often and often includes sexual intercourse".

Many youths of today have likened relationship to be sex which shouldn't be so.

Relationship and sex might work hand-in-hand but it shouldn't be incorporated at the wrong time.

The opportunity for courtship is being abused on a daily basis just because we try to make relationship work through sex.

So many young girls have involved themselves in premarital sex which has led to unwanted pregnancy which some will abort while some will be forced to give birth at a tender age.

Everything in life is by stage. Yes, it is not possible you wake up one day and conclude that you want to get married without having someone you are dating that you have known for some months.

But the fact is that relationship and sex are two different things that should only be linked at the appropriate time.

So many men made their lady believe that if the lady did not have sex with them then she doesn't love them.

See, if you want to love, nobody will stop you from loving anybody, but don't pretend to love when your ultimate goal is to get under her.

Don't make her believe that sex makes relationship stronger.

Premarital sex doesn't make any relationship stronger, it kills the relationship especially when the intention is not for marriage.

Even at a stage, couples that didn't involve in premarital sex get tired of having sex with each other, then if that is the case, are you not making it a bit faster to lose thirst for sex?

I think ladies of this generation should have become wiser enough to decide about their life earlier than 18years.

Some men will only have sex with a lady ones and that's all. You should be able to keep your precious self away from the beast in men.

Many men out their are no more interested in staying with a woman for so long, they will tell you they don't like eating a particular food twice but love to eat different kinds of food.

They will come to you and give you all the sweet words and you will gladly accept them and even release your body to them like sheep without Shepherd.

You are the only one that can destroy yourself. You only go into wrong hands if you did not say yes to the right person.

During courtship you are free to decide if you can cope with each other or not, and you can choose to continue or discontinue your relationship.

But now a days, ladies find it difficult to leave the beast they are into relationship with simply because they have engaged in sex which has made her emotionally attached with the man.

That way, it will not be easy for her to say no when she should have said it.

Some men change immediately they have sex with their lady. The sex will automatically be an eye opener for them, they will want to explore more, thereby exposing them to any other things in skirt.

I am not saying it is not good to introduce sex in your relationship, but it is necessary to introduce it at the appropriate time to avoid the series of disadvantages associated with it.

It makes relationship stronger but this is for the couple and perhaps serious minded couple-to-be. Biblically it is not for those who are not married, in fact, it is a sin.

Some men are only interested in getting under a lady, but how will you decipher the true man from the fake? You can be safe if you keep your precious part till the right time.

Those that are even married can get divorced anytime let alone those that are not.

Though, some ladies are the cause of their own fall. They cannot do without sex, and so many reasons got them so attracted to that which we might not blame them for some, while some are due to covetousness and love of money.

Sex in courtship can mar your marital life more than it can make it.
Be wise and never give yourself room to regret your impatient.


Please your comments, criticism, likes and share will only encourage me, i will be so glad to see them coming...

http://bamisepeters.com/2015/08/sex-will-make-your-relationship.html

I would not have said anything but for the last paet that read that said you would love to see comment and likes.

Its a lovely peice you wrote. It couldn't have be written a better way.

I would add... there would be urges, real ones. There would be times when you really want to kiss him and just close your eyes to the consequences of whatever could happen. But then self control puts a check on you. Understanding that what you really desire now would be at your finger tips if you'd just wait a while is also key.

I think it's easier when both parties run with on the same charity goals. The guy understands that fulfilling his sexual urges now puts the woman in greater danger hence he exercises self control. He knows that sleeping will ruin both her and the relationship. The lady understands that get body is percious and should not just be given to anyone.

Its also good of both parties talk about their sexual urges and work at ways to minimise the effect. Expressing your feelings also helps. Saying something like "I really do feel like kissing you" rather than engaging in sexual acts also helps. It helps me.

Finally, we should also remember that as much as we preach chastity for women we should preach same to the men. As much as we preach chastity to women we don't wanna be foolish virgins hence is important that a woman’s mind is cultivated and she is taught to achieve all that God has created her to be.

kandiikane:
Nonsense, stop feeding this rubbish to all these small kids. Many of you who talk this nonsense are yet to experience the reality of dating and sex. When there is attraction or love, there is sexual chemistry, that's just how it is. Each individual has their own principles, If he chooses not to wait, it does not mean he does not love you. Respecting your decision to wait (for how long, i do not know) does not mean he loves and respects you. He could still be getting it elsewhere. Someone with determination will wait it out until they get what they want.

When a man is attracted to you or loves you, he WILL want to have sex with you vice versa. Stop selling these false expectations and then be the same one complaining when you get turned down because of these expectations. When you come online, all you hear is how men just want to have sex and walk away, I call bullshyt. If you allow yourself to be used, you will be used and dumped whether you wait or not. Waiting has nothing to do with how men treat you. If a man claims to love you and he does not show any sexual attention towards you, be worried.

according to you "if you allow yourself to be used,you will be used and dumped",so how can a lady avoid being used and dumped?and how can they differentiate between love and lust?

Ok

Makes sense


Different strokes for different folks anyway, everything in life is all making a choice.

Sheggy13:
And the same ladies you're trying to support will be the first to call u mugu when u don't initiate sex,discussing amongst their friends if perhaps you're impotent and give themselves easily to some other guy out there. Be wise, this is 21st century. I know u can't do that in true life tho,just to make the ladies here feel good.

there is a particular b!tch he is trying to impress here,he is a well known woman wrapper,so I don't his type of comment serious.

Cutehector:
Good advice.... I see you all ladies here as my sisters and I wish u could grasp smth out of this post...

In as much as some ppo will tag me hypocrite buh hey, let's be true to ourselves for once... Sex should be smth both parties gv dr consent to... If a man loves u so much, he won't ask u for sex befor u two are married... Yes, he won't! He respects u well enough to wait for u to decide to give urself to him, dats if u wish to before marriage

@cutehector, while reading through this write-up, your comment caught my attention, which I will like to address, so pardon the manner in which I'm going to address it.

First, from your comment, I am guessing that you're between the age of 18 - 24yrs old, and probably a student.

Now, before I proceed, let me make my stand clear; as a Christian that I am, premarital sex is a sin; everyone knows that, and I don't think any other Christian thinks otherwise.

So if u say that people should abstain from sex before marriage because its a sin, then I will agree with you, but trying to use your shallow ideology to deceive people isn't nice.

To your points, you ignorantly or intentionally lied by saying that if a guy loves a lady, he wouldn't want to have sex with her, are you a kid?

I asked because that's a big fat lie!

Any man or woman who claims to love a man or woman who isn't his/her family member without having sexual feelings for that person he or she claims to love is not really in love with the person.

It is good to exercise self control towards sexual attraction and urge before marriage but saying that a guy who makes sexual moves towards a girl he's dating or courting doesn't love the girl is nothing but lies written to impress some people or written out of sheer ignorance and lack of real life experience.

Any girl or lady who follows this your ideology will end up driving away guys that love her because she will think that any guy she's dating/courting that makes sexual move towards her doesn't truly love her, whereas its a fallacy.


As for the poster, he painted men as beasts, anyway, he maybe right or wrong but any lady that swallows this lopsided advice hook line and sinker will either end up driving away her Mr. Right and may end up with pretentious men who pretend like they don't know what sex is just to win a lady's heart, and only to treat her like her trash after.

A guy dating a girl can love the girl with all his heart and still demand sex from her....while another guy dating a girl may not even love the girl and still not demand sex from her just to make the girl believe he's a saint while having sex with some other girls, so there's no definite rule for things like this.

There's no definite rule that works in relationships and marriages; what works for Mr & Ms A may not work for Mr & Ms B, so in all, one just need to pray to meet the right persons that value their emotional commitment.

very very matured and insightful write up only for the intelligent to learn from,and not the many brainless and wild youths nowadays, that were born with bad blood and brought up with bad handling so what do u expect, unfinished product everywhere, most of these visionless and foolish breed of youths nowadays only dream and crave sex,sex,sex,drink,drink, pleasure, cultism when they hardly get their complete 5 credits at O level, they are so dumb that most end up destroying themselves before age 28, males killed in cult violence,or have impregnanted various young girls, some are youth fathers, some have damaged their livers beyound repair with reckless drinking,yahoozee way,chain weed smoking no more cigarrette.females are worse, loose virginity at 11,have 5 boyfriends before 18 and 28 before age 22,abortion is just like going to the toilet on daily basis,date their fathers for money,sleep around like dogs,warm the bed of old men many years older than their dads, laazy,greeedy,proud, love lying more than food,materialistic, very small brained,religious but still very deceptive and so wicked.this is The seeds of african leaders of tommorow..

Thanks all for your comment so far, your criticisms will make me stronger and your likes bigger. I will work on the errors, we are humans we can't be perfect. But i hope the right persons get what i have written. Thank you all, i am so greatful.

[quote author=Cutehector post=37076262]Good advice.... I see you all ladies here as my sisters and I wish u could grasp smth out of this post...

In as much as some ppo will tag me hypocrite buh hey, let's be true to ourselves for once... Sex should be smth both parties gv dr consent to... If a man loves u so much, he won't ask u for sex befor u two are married... Yes, he won't! He respects u well enough to wait for u to decide to give urself to him, dats if u wish to before marriage [/quote
In as much as I agree WT u, guys who took their girlfriends/fiancées as sisters without sex, get dumped at d slightest quarrel. D man knows he is not perfect ND could make mistakes ND he does not want to be labelled impotent,weakling or not-man-enough.

Sex before marriage or no sex before marriage....whatever relationship that will work will work...so I dnt tink sex is even a major factor,i hv seen virgin cheat on their husband's n non virgins faithful to their husband's...I can't explain y dat is...but I do knw if u put ur back into your relationship n believe in it...I will b all good;...wit or without sex.

Weird bt true.

Edusouls:
am telling you brother,it is madness more at the male part, the craze for sex is so much that u begin to wonder if our mind is really so idle,so much idle and sex starved men doing anything to get under a girls skirt,at the end only just a few get it.brother african man get wahala, thats why we are called black monkeys.

I wanted to just bypass like I usually do but this is strong... You should learn how to degrade yourself alone with your racists comment. How dare you use such derogatory word on the African man.

kandiikane:
Nonsense, stop feeding this rubbish to all these small kids. Many of you who talk this nonsense are yet to experience the reality of dating and sex. When there is attraction or love, there is sexual chemistry, that's just how it is. Each individual has their own principles, If he chooses not to wait, it does not mean he does not love you. Respecting your decision to wait (for how long, i do not know) does not mean he loves and respects you. He could still be getting it elsewhere. Someone with determination will wait it out until they get what they want.

When a man is attracted to you or loves you, he WILL want to have sex with you vice versa. Stop selling these false expectations and then be the same one complaining when you get turned down because of these expectations. When you come online, all you hear is how men just want to have sex and walk away, I call bullshyt. If you allow yourself to be used, you will be used and dumped whether you wait or not. Waiting has nothing to do with how men treat you. If a man claims to love you and he does not show any sexual attention towards you, be worried.

Now someone matured enough is talking...

HeartRobber:
Truth be told

Sex is good in a relationship, it nurtures relationship

Not always. In fact, sex is secondary what matters most is honesty and commitment.

bamac:
It is a long one, please bare with me..

Through conceptual clarification i could deduce that "relationship is the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other.
It is also a romantic or sexual friendship between two people: the way in which two or more people or things are connected".

Sex on the other hand is the "physical activities in which people touch each other's bodies, kiss each other, etc. :physical activities that is related to and often and often includes sexual intercourse".

Many youths of today have likened relationship to be sex which shouldn't be so.

Relationship and sex might work hand-in-hand but it shouldn't be incorporated at the wrong time.

The opportunity for courtship is being abused on a daily basis just because we try to make relationship work through sex.

So many young girls have involved themselves in premarital sex which has led to unwanted pregnancy which some will abort while some will be forced to give birth at a tender age.

Everything in life is by stage. Yes, it is not possible you wake up one day and conclude that you want to get married without having someone you are dating that you have known for some months.

But the fact is that relationship and sex are two different things that should only be linked at the appropriate time.

So many men made their lady believe that if the lady did not have sex with them then she doesn't love them.

See, if you want to love, nobody will stop you from loving anybody, but don't pretend to love when your ultimate goal is to get under her.

Don't make her believe that sex makes relationship stronger.

Premarital sex doesn't make any relationship stronger, it kills the relationship especially when the intention is not for marriage.

Even at a stage, couples that didn't involve in premarital sex get tired of having sex with each other, then if that is the case, are you not making it a bit faster to lose thirst for sex?

I think ladies of this generation should have become wiser enough to decide about their life earlier than 18years.

Some men will only have sex with a lady ones and that's all. You should be able to keep your precious self away from the beast in men.

Many men out their are no more interested in staying with a woman for so long, they will tell you they don't like eating a particular food twice but love to eat different kinds of food.

They will come to you and give you all the sweet words and you will gladly accept them and even release your body to them like sheep without Shepherd.

You are the only one that can destroy yourself. You only go into wrong hands if you did not say yes to the right person.

During courtship you are free to decide if you can cope with each other or not, and you can choose to continue or discontinue your relationship.

But now a days, ladies find it difficult to leave the beast they are into relationship with simply because they have engaged in sex which has made her emotionally attached with the man.

That way, it will not be easy for her to say no when she should have said it.

Some men change immediately they have sex with their lady. The sex will automatically be an eye opener for them, they will want to explore more, thereby exposing them to any other things in skirt.

I am not saying it is not good to introduce sex in your relationship, but it is necessary to introduce it at the appropriate time to avoid the series of disadvantages associated with it.

It makes relationship stronger but this is for the couple and perhaps serious minded couple-to-be. Biblically it is not for those who are not married, in fact, it is a sin.

Some men are only interested in getting under a lady, but how will you decipher the true man from the fake? You can be safe if you keep your precious part till the right time.

Those that are even married can get divorced anytime let alone those that are not.

Though, some ladies are the cause of their own fall. They cannot do without sex, and so many reasons got them so attracted to that which we might not blame them for some, while some are due to covetousness and love of money.

Sex in courtship can mar your marital life more than it can make it.
Be wise and never give yourself room to regret your impatient.


Please your comments, criticism, likes and share will only encourage me, i will be so glad to see them coming...

http://bamisepeters.com/2015/08/sex-will-make-your-relationship.html

dats rite, i pray wil b able to do wat we tel odas, i believe u dont engage in such also.

Sex or no sex. If a man wants to luv he will.
If he doesnt luv u. Evenif u dont give him. It doesnt mean anythin. What matters in any relationship is purely the compactability of both parties.

If u feel sex is gud for both of u gud. Many of u here saying that sex b4 marriage is not rite. Lets face reality of life........ U cannot enter marriage without knowing the sexual compactability of ur partner. It always leds to regret and cheating in the longrun especially if u are not meeting up with him or her feelings.....

Atlantian:
bla bla bla bla bla. Now every brainless mofo is a PhD holder in sexless morality. Whoever indoctrinated you that sex at certain age is wrong, is the cause of your barbaric reasoning. And for the writer to tag men as beasts and the ladies as innocent is a very biased sense of reasoning. Most sex these days are initiated by ladies, at least to my knowledge and experience.

This is 2015 AD, not 345 BC. No one has the rights to dictate how another should use his or hex sex organs.

gbam u have said it all..even the OP himself can't say he has not abused it, come here they form james bond abeg weytin concern agbero with overload

@op....so wen is the appropriate time?