₦airaland Forum

Phema:
Cococandy just saved me from typing an epistle.

That was succinct, especially the husbands-bosses dichotomy. That shouldn't even come up. Both play two very different roles in a woman's life.

As for pastors; it is one of the things many women (and even men) do that irritate me the most. Making a fellow human a demi-god. SMH. If na only me, pastors will be very very insignificant. But then, I'm not the 'typical' christian.

cococandy:
Boss is boss. No comparison between them and husbands. One is intimate one is not.

Pastors and husbands. Yet again one is a spiritual leader and one is a life partner. Also Two different things. No comparison there too.

it is quite correct that all should be respected.
But the relationships aren't the same. While I may be prim and proper for the boss or pastor and full of 'yes sirs', I can't be like that with a husband. We have an informal relationship.

But I do detest people that worship their pastors.
That's a whole new level I see people go to in the name of respecting their pastors.
It disgusts me because it's often easy to see how such worship can be turned into a tool of manipulation by the so called pastor.

So respect but not idolize.

OP remove boss from your list.
Apart from work, where else will the boss come into a woman's life? And yes at work, he's the boss. The husband should wait until she gets home before he expects her to do what he wants over what the boss wants. That's one unnecessary power tussle unless the boss or hubby is not reasonable.

Quite different from pastors. Those ones have no boundaries. Some of them even want you to consult them before making your life or family decisions even though you have a husband who's meant to be doing such with you and not them.

They specialize in Seeing unsolicited visions and tearing couples apart. Permit me to say many of them are quite useless.

kennyman2000:
God bless u for this piece OP... This write up sets my heart on memories. Remember a certain time i was trying to date a lady, all she's saying was that, before she could say anything, i'll have to go see her pastor.

Infact, if i've to come to her house again, we'll have to meet at their pastor's house and not her house.

Infact, her pastor's involvement in her life got to an extent, she cant take a small life decision for herself, she has to consult her pastor first.

When she told me, i had to go see her pastor first to see if the courtship would work or not and some other things.

My response was that ''she will never know peace and she'll never have a way forward and God'll as well continue to punish her if she continue to let her pastor take decision for her and not use her common brain and for her pastor, God'll continue to punish that one too as well not until when he teaches u that not all every situations u bring to him''
Boss I too feel dis ur piece...seems like we are made of d same steel
i vexed and told her to forget every fucking thing about me.. And left her with one word..

''come back and tell me, am a bastard if after two years, u made a single progress for urself if ur pastor is still involved in ur life''

called me sometimes ago and told me ''she's tired of everything and also said, what i said were true.. Saying, she wants to see me and explain somethings to me.. Fixed her meeting for december. No time to waste on a fool

its high time women should start acting wise

cococandy:
Boss is boss. No comparison between them and husbands. One is intimate one is not.

Pastors and husbands. Yet again one is a spiritual leader and one is a life partner. Also Two different things. No comparison there too.

it is quite correct that all should be respected.
But the relationships aren't the same. While I may be prim and proper for the boss or pastor and full of 'yes sirs', I can't be like that with a husband. We have an informal relationship.

But I do detest people that worship their pastors.
That's a whole new level I see people go to in the name of respecting their pastors.
It disgusts me because it's often easy to see how such worship can be turned into a tool of manipulation by the so called pastor.

You made the most sense. We should be objective.

So respect but not idolize.

OP remove boss from your list.
Apart from work, where else will the boss come into a woman's life? And yes at work, he's the boss. The husband should wait until she gets home before he expects her to do what he wants over what the boss wants. That's one unnecessary power tussle unless the boss or hubby is not reasonable.

Quite different from pastors. Those ones have no boundaries. Some of them even want you to consult them before making your life or family decisions even though you have a husband who's meant to be doing such with you and not them.

They specialize in Seeing unsolicited visions and tearing couples apart. Permit me to say many of them are quite useless.

cococandy:
Boss is boss. No comparison between them and husbands. One is intimate one is not.

Pastors and husbands. Yet again one is a spiritual leader and one is a life partner. Also Two different things. No comparison there too.

it is quite correct that all should be respected.
But the relationships aren't the same. While I may be prim and proper for the boss or pastor and full of 'yes sirs', I can't be like that with a husband. We have an informal relationship.

But I do detest people that worship their pastors.
That's a whole new level I see people go to in the name of respecting their pastors.
It disgusts me because it's often easy to see how such worship can be turned into a tool of manipulation by the so called pastor.

You made the most sense. We should be objective.

So respect but not idolize.


OP remove boss from your list.
Apart from work, where else will the boss come into a woman's life? And yes at work, he's the boss. The husband should wait until she gets home before he expects her to do what he wants over what the boss wants. That's one unnecessary power tussle unless the boss or hubby is not reasonable.

Quite different from pastors. Those ones have no boundaries. Some of them even want you to consult them before making your life or family decisions even though you have a husband who's meant to be doing such with you and not them.
You made the most sense
They specialize in Seeing unsolicited visions and tearing couples apart. Permit me to say many of them are quite useless.

Dereformer:
please how do i get a copy of it? I will pay. My wife is too precious to be treated otherwise. She doesn't take a poo from any pastor. In fact any time a pastor calls her to come for any thing, she will ask him to obtain permission from me first.

No pastor comes in between me and my woman and we still on our honey moon even after 4 years of marriage.

hedonistic:
And what would you say when the boss is having an illicit sexual relationship with the woman (as is very often the case)? Is it still not true that the unfaithful woman would kneel down and give m the boss a good Mouth Action in his office and still tell him yes sir /with all pleasure sir ontop... Even though she will later go home and give her husband or boyfriend nothing but 'equality' attitude?

Knowing woman and the many shocking things they are capable of I think the boss- husband comparison by the OP is very apt.

AdexOmoby:
I have to first if all be sure that the men they have at homes are men who are worthy to be respected. I am not in support of those who adore their pastors at the expense of their own sense, but then men should first of all be worthy of respect before the demand it from their wives.

ThenIf a man is worthy of respect, kneeling down to greet him isn't one of such signs. Asking for his opinion in matters arising us a good sign of respect. Regrading his opinion and giving reference to him as of the home is another. Treating him with courtesy and not talking down in him are signs of respect men see and appreciate not necessarily kneeling down to greet him even if he were 59 years older.

Men correct me if I am wrong.

upwardmode:
It does not matter if your are Nigerian or not...My Point is, you need to watch it... The devil does not attack Nigerian marriages n relationships alone through this means, other ignorant means exist.

Tallesty1:
Onye Nkwu.


Lols....



Oga Lalasticlala, good afternoon

dmcdad:

Orkpekyandega:
I can perceive something. These are the type that ******** Sonofananimal where are you?

SAMBARRY:
in the bush with his mates

lastnogood:
I'm still confused, the OP was about wives showing more respect and even running to the pastor for problems.

I only pointed out that I don't personally have an opinion on that issue in particular add I've never confronted it, nor know someone who has. However, my opinion based on biblical respect and love can be transplanted into this dilemma, and I'm sure many others.

Anyways, I won't continue going back and forth after this. If you don't get me, you don't get me...

lastnogood:
I'm not a derail type of person, you mentioned me for what idk...
Anyways I have no contribution to make to this subject because where I'm from, this problem doesn't exist. In fact, it's a challenge to get families to attend church.
The culture of respecting others is structured in a completely different way. Personally, I don't go around calling my pastor Daddy, my boss is my boss.

If I'm to be a married woman, my currency is love whereas my husband's own is respect. (Wives respect your husband and husbands love your wives). IMO it's easy for women to love but hard to show respect, it's easy for a man to show respect but hard to give love. So I won't go back and forth in a divisive manner.

The only obvious thing, is that it's obvious that marriage is not by force and that both partners must choose wisely. That he's a man doesn't mean that he warrant your respect. That she's a woman didn't mean she is worth your love. If you marry well, then this wouldn't be a problem.

Tallesty1:
I am not writing this to bash women or speak ill of them, rather I am writing this to understand the rationale behind it and maybe give a piece of advice or two.

This is common among Christians and some working class women. I have noticed that majority of them respect their pastor/boss more than their husband.

The level of Respect some of them often accord these spiritual leaders mostly can actually be said to be awesome.

The respect is so much that whatever they instruct them(women) to do they obey without any second thoughts or arguements but the case is always different if the instruction is from the husband.

Its actually good though but isn't charity supposed to begin from home?

Some women even go as far as kneeling for them in public just to show respect. Does it make sense to go about kneeling for your Pastor, Imam, Boss and atimes even for your Landlord whereas you can't remember the last time you bent half a knee or even squat for your husband at home?

That's hypocrisy if you ask me and God frowns at it.

Does it makes sense to you when you go out there, respecting your spiritual leaders, (who happens to be another woman's husband) whereas you can't show any iota of Respect for your husband at home?

Just incase you don't know, your husband is your first Boss and leader in all ramifications of Life.

Since you have no problem whatsoever, taking instructions from your Boss or spiritual leader and carrying out their instructions to the latter 24/7 then why should you argue with your husband over a few things he asks of you?

Before you go out there to display how respectful you are, please ensure you start with your husband at home.

Accord him his due respect. Let all Godly virtues you want to disply to the world at large, start from your home.

Kindly respect your husband, give him his rightful place. Asides from God, Put your husband first in all you do. It does'nt hurt or make you a lesser person.

Orkpekyandega:
The one in Peace House Gboko right?
What a blessed servant of God for this wicked and sinful generation.

hisableplc:
yea you are right i love his messages i watched that and i asked Gd for such just for my home

upwardmode:
OKAY, Noted. But Just to let you know, I reacted the way I did earlier primarily because your statements sounded like sarcasm... Nothing Personal, my Apologies. BTW where are you from?

clemz85:
now I see why Alezy called you out in style, Dude knew you got small brain,

maybe just maybe #sapiosexual in play... no effence.

I'mma outta here,
peace.

tpiander:
anybody typing on nairaland who does not know their own parents' date of birth, must be from a baby farm.

Not saying anything's wrong with being from one.

plappville:
Its true that women are more of this, but som3 men do it too. Its disgusting how many believer behave in front of thier Pastors. They cant hurt a fly when in front of Pastor. Some will cause you with the God of thier Pastor as if is only thier pastor that have access to God. Maybe its the impression the pastors put in them i cant understand. The other time. A friend told me her brother swear for her that "the God of TB Jeshua will punish her in life" hahaha. It made me laughed but i think this is a serious isaue. In Facebook and even here in Nairaland. Many go about spreading pastors birthday when some do not even know when thier parents date of birth. This virus is fast spreading to even the young pastors. No wonder many are breaking out to form thier own church.
Nice thread OP. I hope all women will learn a thing from this. No body says we ahould not show respect ooo..

dramenda:
Well, I disagree to agree with you Mr,your points are baseless. You sound like the kinda pastor the OP is talking about.

lastnogood:
How can one be sapiosexual and have a small brain? Am confused

Ok well bye

lastnogood:
How can one be sapiosexual and have a small brain? Am confused
Ok well bye