₦airaland Forum

AltarBoy1:
I can count like three occasions where I jokingly told her my stand with her. I told her in such a way that, a normal thinking person would understand. But it seems like she didn't buy it.

just tell her that you are married, shekina

Tallesty1:
Not necessary.


@OP, you gotta be careful sha, you have made few mistakes already but nothing spoil.

Had a similar experience in Benue state.

It started the very day I opened the shop, her first move was to help me sweep but I refused.

Second time was to help wash few of my clothes but I refused.

She even brought food on few occasions but I didn't accept any.

She got tired and stop trying.

Later that same year, another guy took the shop next to her own and the lady did the same thing. He fell for it and they started dating. Everything was good in the beginning, she dey even use him do yanga for me but who cares?

They had a serious argument argument one day and the lady threw a bucketfull of water inside the guys shop(a chemist shop) no need telling tell you the amount he lost, just becareful.

It works for others but I don't date girls that are that close to me. Especially in business, nah.....

It is business or nothing.

I got your advice and I seriously appreciate.

Karmanaut:
I'm serious.
Essentially you're killing two birds with one stone:
First of all it might deter her, which you want.
Second it serves as a "test" of sorts: if she's pursuing a romantic relationship with you you'd want to make sure that she's loyal no matter what.

No need to be sure whether she is loyal or not, cos am not starting anything with her.

goodmorning40:
Right on point.
Now back to ur issue, ur female friend is a desperate woman and it is very easy to offend such people, be careful.
Henceforth begin to refuse her help or favors, maintain a reasonable distance from her no checking on her nor bumping into her shop, don't call her. Whenever u have the opportunity tell her how u can never marry a woman a day older than u are
Gradually she will withdraw

Thanks, will start implementing this.

Enoquin:
When she started telling you stories of older women marrying young men, you should have listened, nodded your head to some of her points and then tell her your stand.

She: Like three women I know that got married to younger men; they are so happily married. I would like to get married to a younger man

You: Hmmm...true. Marriage sometimes can work irrespective of the ages of the party BUT I don't want an elderly woman for a wife. I want a young wife because men get married to young women too and are happily married.
So, what is oga waiting for na, me I wan come chop rice.

She: No oga oh...oga for where. I am still looking up to God.

You: Sha do fast...no let me do my own before you do your own...one babe dey my area...etc.

What have you done in this convo? You have stated your stand.

Though the day she was telling me all those stories, it didnt ring a bell in my head. So I didnt take it serious. It was like after two days that I started sensing something fishy in all that she was telling me

She tries to feed you...tell her you don't eat from single women as you don't want any issue with 'her' oga; she tries to sweep for you...ask her how much she will take for sweeping. She calls you too much; pick it, say you are a bit busy. She says she misses you, tell her not to miss you before your madam gets mad.

1st, she doesnt ahve an "oga" for now, as she told me how the guy that was planning to marry her ended up with somebody else. 2ndly, I have longed stopped her from trying to feed me or sweep my shop

She is playing a subtle game and you should play the game with her as well. Be courteous, never let down your guard but do not show contempt.

I really appreciate your words. I think i now know how to tackle this issue diplomatically. Thanks alot.

AltarBoy1:
My body language hv always shown that I want everything to end at the market. But she is not getting it. And since she has not explicitly stated what's on her mind, I can't just sit her down and start talking about it.

Women think emotionally while men think logically. So, with you responding to her at times when she 'beckons to see you' in her mind means you are giving her a lifeline.

When a guy thinks logically, he wants everything to be spelt out for him to understand.

op so u are now undercover boss abi? That girl is already seeing her self as Mrs AltarBoy1. She's desperate to settle down that's why she's flashing all the green light for u. you don't have to tell her anything coz if u do she may deny so the best thing is to chase her away with an attitude. just make her notice that ur attitude has changed towards her simple

AltarBoy1:
she doesnt ahve an "oga" for now, as she told me how the guy that was planning to marry her ended up with somebody else. 2ndly, I have longed stopped her from trying to feed me or sweep my shop

I know she has no oga, it's still the subtle game you are playing

Jennifer89:
op so u are now undercover boss abi? That girl is already seeing her self as Mrs AltarBoy1. She's desperate to settle down that's why she's flashing all the green light for u. you don't have to tell her anything coz if u do she may deny so the best thing is to chase her away with an attitude. just make her notice that ur attitude has changed towards her simple

Lol. No b my own altarboy she go do miss for. Anyway, just like enoquin said. My body language will do d trick for me.

jaey:
Women think emotionally while men think logically. So, with you responding to her at times when she 'beckons to see you' in her mind means you are giving her a lifeline.

When a guy thinks logically, he wants everything to be spelt out for him to understand.

I got your POV. I will reduce the way I respond to her request.

Enoquin:
When she started telling you stories of older women marrying young men, you should have listened, nodded your head to some of her points and then tell her your stand.

She: Like three women I know that got married to younger men; they are so happily married. I would like to get married to a younger man

You: Hmmm...true. Marriage sometimes can work irrespective of the ages of the party BUT I don't want an elderly woman for a wife. I want a young wife because men get married to young women too and are happily married.
So, what is oga waiting for na, me I wan come chop rice.

She: No oga oh...oga for where. I am still looking up to God.

You: Sha do fast...no let me do my own before you do your own...one babe dey my area...etc.

What have you done in this convo? You have stated your stand.

She tries to feed you...tell her you don't eat from single women as you don't want any issue with 'her' oga; she tries to sweep for you...ask her how much she will take for sweeping. She calls you too much; pick it, say you are a bit busy. She says she misses you, tell her not to miss you before your madam gets mad.

She is playing a subtle game and you should play the game with her as well. Be courteous, never let down your guard but do not show contempt.

You stole my thoughts.

The lady even made it very easy for the dude to state his mind and back away, yet he's here asking questions.

The way I see it, he just wants the advantages of being close to the woman, without dating her.

freecocoa:
You stole my thoughts.

The lady even made it very easy for the dude to state his mind and back away, yet he's here asking questions.

The way I see it, he just wants the advantages of being close to the woman, without dating her.

If I had known she had such thought, I would have stated my mind back then. For now. I have now gotten the means of backing out in a polite way.

freecocoa:
You stole my thoughts.

The lady even made it very easy for the dude to state his mind and back away, yet he's here asking questions.

The way I see it, he just wants the advantages of being close to the woman, without dating her.

at bolded

Enoquin:
at bolded

AltarBoy1:

She threw another angle to it noni. Perhaps subconsciously you liked the attention, no?