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I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice - Family - Nairaland

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Is There Anything Wrong With This Advice / My Husband Is Driving Me Crazy, I’m Afraid I Will Not Die Before My Time / Am Afraid, I Cant Satisfy Her (2) (3) (4)

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I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 7:23pm On Oct 18, 2022
She came to the village for an occasion, she wanted to stay at my place for sometime but I do not want her around.

My mom is in her late 40's, she is a type of woman who doesn't care about her child wellbeing and being the first child from her womb, I was most affected. Countless time I have faced pain and cry asking myself if she is truly my mom. She has an habit of raining curses on me since my young age until I left home at 15. Over the past 10years i have been staying with one family to another working my ass off. Trust me I have had my own share of sufferness. The most astonishing part is through those years my mom might only call once in a year and that's after facing backlash from family members why she do not care about her son.

She also always have her way of blocking extended family members from helping me by either fighting with them at the brinks of them helping me or she will sha do something awkward at those moments that will make the helper back off.

I won't be able to go into details of the sufferness I had been through with no support or parental love/care. Atleast if parent don't have money, they will support there child with prayers and care.

2020 I went home after 10years away, due to little misunderstanding, she knelt down in the middle of the compound and started raining curses on me, saying I will never prosper and all sort of different curses. I had to left home bcus of that. I went to further my studies at sch by engaging in all various type of hard labour. My mom will usually tell me going to school is not compulsory for me, that if I can't afford to go to school I will do hard labour. Yet when it comes to my younger brother she will have money to pay for his schooling and upkeep

Fast forward too last tear, things started going well for me, I was okay and doing pretty fine in school. Because of the loneliness and love I never had at young age, my girlfriend got pregnant and I told her to keep the pregnancy bcus I'm very sure I could take care of them.

That same last year, I wasn't happy deep down about the situation my family were in, so I gave about 50% of my savings to my mom too start a medium business for the family upkeep. A month later grandma died and my father had no money for burial. Yes my father and mother have been living together all this while. My dad is different from my mom toward me, he will always support me when he has, but he is not a fighter, he doesn't care either but hevis better than my mom. he will only give wen he have it. Though He finally succumb to my mom pressure and they both forget about me 2016 as a failure who will never make it. I was just 20years old then with ND certificate.

For the burial, I was foolish enough to support them with almost all I had, and my mom also diverted the money I sent her for business into the burial. After the burial they all went their way and I'm left with my pregnant wife and depleted account balance. A month too the due date, things were so bad I already have plans to sell some of my furniture's wen my baby arrive. After my baby naming ceremony I was left with only 12k in my account and nobody to look on too. Non of my family member attend my child naming ceremony, only three people from the extended family who are close by came from my villagewhich is 7min drive to where i reside. My parents didn't even call me or my wife to send a little token for the child or at worst ask for his wellbeing.

Luckily for me again after the child dedication things started improving, my child brought favour and luck. A family member ask my parents why they didn't attend their grandson naming ceremony, they told him because I do not support their family despite me having money. I was so angry they could utter those statements after all I had done for them. Many more I did for them was not mention here. I later found out my father was angry because I gave my mum money to start a biz fir the family but I didn't give him money to build a house.

Despite all they did, I put it behind me and still started giving the little I could afford, they won't ask me directly if they need any thing but would rather tell people or family members to call me which often pisses me off, they have spoilt me in the face of families and old friends that i have money but dont want to help them. They do not appreciate the little I am doing.

I am currently serving NYSC, but because I have been taking care of my wife and boy Without help form nobody dey thought I am very rich. I have explained to them I'm not what dey think I'm yet but they won't bulge, they get angry anytime dey need and I could not provide. I don't have a car neither have I build a house.

Despite all this I still give them everything and they still kept on telling people I'm not helping them. My younger brother university education fees and welfare is on me, I pay 50% of thier rent recently, I send some cash periodically to them too yet they are not appreciative, everybody in the family sees me as someone who's not giving his parent.

I Iive in my state of origin and my parent are staying far east. Recently my mom came home for an occasion and want to stay at my place, I was not kinda comfortable with her coming around, I do not have that feeling. Yes I could send them money and cater what I can but I do not want her around me for now atleast not until I have figured out my life and settled down. They have called almost all the family again telling them how I don't want my mom to come to my side. Everybody in the extended family thinks I'm rich. I'm really afraid something could happen to me(Village people things)

My child is 10month now, and non of them have send a single penny for him.

I'm just confused because I know if I fall today again, there will be no shoulder to rest on, all I have is my wife(not wedded yet and my parents don't care about that) and my child.

Pls I need advice on what to do and how to handle them. I'm confused they might want my head through this hatred.
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Nobody: 7:56pm On Oct 18, 2022
Mama's boy. Your emotions would get you killed or worse. After all they've done to you, I thought you'd cut them off and severe ties with them?

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Nemesis0147(m): 8:08pm On Oct 18, 2022
Some parents sef.
I don’t know what to tell you because I can’t imagine myself stopping my mother from coming to my place but again,My mother will never treat me the way your mother treated and still treating you....so I can’t deal.

Pray for grace bro kiss
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Nemesis0147(m): 8:08pm On Oct 18, 2022
Olasyke:
Mama's boy. Your emotions would get you killed or worse. After all they've done to you, I thought you'd cut them off and severe ties with them?
is not that Easy bro.
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 8:09pm On Oct 18, 2022
Olasyke:
Mama's boy. Your emotions would get you killed or worse. After all they've done to you, I thought you'd cut them off and severe ties with them?
I tried doing this. The pressure from the extended family was so much on me. My parent kept feeding them with lies and about how I have money and I'm ignoring them. My living close too the village does not help matters too. No body from my family has seen my baby boy since I gave birth,
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:37pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
She came to the village for an occasion, she wanted to stay at my place for sometime but I do not want her around.

My mom is in her late 40's, she is a type of woman who doesn't care about her child well being and being the first child from a womb, I was most affected. Countless time I have faced pain and cry asking myself if she is truly my mom. She has an habit of raining curses on me since my young age until after I left home at 15. Over the past 10years i have been staying with one family to another working my ass off. Trust me I have had my own share of sufferness. The most astonishing part is through those years my mom might only call once in a year that's after facing backlash from family members why she do not care about her son.

She also always half her way to block extended family members from helping me by either fighting with them at the brinks of them helping me or she will sha do something awkward at those moments that will make the helper back off

I won't be able to go into details of the sufferness I had been through with no support or parental love/care. Atleast if parent don't have money, they will support there child with prayers and care.

2020 I went home after 10years away, due to little misunderstanding, she knelt down in the middle of the compound and started raining curses on me, saying I will never prosper and all sort of different curses. I had to left home bcus of that. I went to further my studies at sch by engaging in all various type of hard labour. My mom will usually tell me going to school is not compulsory for me, that if I can't afford to go to school I will do hard labour. Yet when it comes to my younger brother she will have money to pay for his schooling and upkeep

Fast forward too a year later, things started going well for me, I was okay and doing pretty fine in school. Because of the loneliness and love I never had at young age, my girlfriend got pregnant and I told her to keep the pregnancy bcus I'm very sure I could take care of them.

That same year, I wasn't happy deep down the situation my family were in, so I gave about 50% of my savings to my mom too start a medium business for the family upkeep. A month later grandma died and my father had no money for burial. Yes my father and mother have been living together all this while. My dad is different from my mom toward me, he will always support me when he has, but he is not a fighter, he doesn't care either but hevis better than my mom. he will only give wen he have it. Though He finally succumb to my mom pressure and they both forget about me 2016 as a failure who will never make it. I was just 20years old then with ND certificate.

For the burial, I was foolish enough to support them with almost all I had, and my mom also diverted the money I sent her for business into the burial. After the burial they all went their way and I'm left with my pregnant wife and depleted account balance. A month too the due date, things were so bad I already have plans to sell some of my furniture's wen my baby arrive. After my baby naming ceremony I was left with only 12k in my account and nobody to look on too. Non of my family member attend my child naming ceremony, only three people from the extended family who are close by came from my villagewhich is 7min drive to where i reside. My parents didn't even call me or my wife to send a little token for the child or at worst ask for his wellbeing.

Luckily for me again after the child dedication things started improving, my child brought favour and luck. A family member ask my parents why they didn't attend their grandson naming ceremony, they told him because I do not support their family despite me having money. I was so angry they could utter those statements after all I had done for them. Many more I did for them was not mention here. I later found out my father was angry because I gave my mum money to start a biz fir the family but I didn't give him money to build a house.

Despite all they did, I put it behind me and still started giving the little I could afford, they won't ask me directly if they need any thing but would rather tell people or family members to call me which often pisses me off, they have spoilt me in the face of families and old friends that i have money but dont want to help them. They do not appreciate the little I am doing.

I am currently serving NYSC, but because I have been taking care of my wife and boy Without help form nobody dey thought I am very rich. I have explained to them I'm not what dey think I'm yet but they won't bulge, they get angry anytime dey need and I could not provide. I don't have a car neither have I build a house.

Despite all this I still give them everything and they still kept on telling people I'm not helping them. My younger brother university education fees and welfare is on me, I pay 50% of thier rent recently, I send some cash periodically to them too yet they are not appreciative, everybody in the family sees me as someone who's not giving his parent.

I Iive in my state of origin and my parent are staying far east. Recently my mom came home for an occasion and want to stay at my place, I was not kinda comfortable with her coming around, I do not have that feeling. Yes I could send them money and cater what I can but I do not want her around me for now atleast not until I have figured out my life and settled down. They have called almost all the family again telling them how I don't want my mom to come to my side. Everybody in the extended family thinks I'm rich. I'm really afraid something could happen to me(Village people things)

My child is 10month now, and non of them have send a single penny for him.

I'm just confused because I know if I fall today again, there will be no shoulder to rest on, all I have is my wife(not wedded yet and my parents don't care about that) and my child.

Pls I need advice on what to do and how to handle them. I'm confused they might want my head through this hatred.

Love them from a distance if you can move away start your life some were far, you will see that your life will be less stressful

From your narration
your mom is very toxic when she near you, your upbringing will be telling you not move away but reality has shown you otherwise

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Terry44: 8:45pm On Oct 18, 2022
angry

Even when people are against you, yet you still find time to please them. If you should continue this way sooner or later things may end worse for you, I don't advice you neglect your parent irrespective of their ill behavior towards you. Try support them with the little you can spare and stop listening to people's opinion.


Your extended family can say anything they like don't do beyond your limit also try and stand your ground when dealing with them.


Your responsibility should be towards your wife and boy, there are the only ones that still respect and appreciate your effort.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by frozen70(f): 8:52pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
She came to the village for an occasion, she wanted to stay at my place for sometime but I do not want her around.

My mom is in her late 40's, she is a type of woman who doesn't care about her child well being and being the first child from a womb, I was most affected. Countless time I have faced pain and cry asking myself if she is truly my mom. She has an habit of raining curses on me since my young age until after I left home at 15. Over the past 10years i have been staying with one family to another working my ass off. Trust me I have had my own share of sufferness. The most astonishing part is through those years my mom might only call once in a year that's after facing backlash from family members why she do not care about her son.

She also always half her way to block extended family members from helping me by either fighting with them at the brinks of them helping me or she will sha do something awkward at those moments that will make the helper back off

I won't be able to go into details of the sufferness I had been through with no support or parental love/care. Atleast if parent don't have money, they will support there child with prayers and care.

2020 I went home after 10years away, due to little misunderstanding, she knelt down in the middle of the compound and started raining curses on me, saying I will never prosper and all sort of different curses. I had to left home bcus of that. I went to further my studies at sch by engaging in all various type of hard labour. My mom will usually tell me going to school is not compulsory for me, that if I can't afford to go to school I will do hard labour. Yet when it comes to my younger brother she will have money to pay for his schooling and upkeep

Fast forward too a year later, things started going well for me, I was okay and doing pretty fine in school. Because of the loneliness and love I never had at young age, my girlfriend got pregnant and I told her to keep the pregnancy bcus I'm very sure I could take care of them.

That same year, I wasn't happy deep down the situation my family were in, so I gave about 50% of my savings to my mom too start a medium business for the family upkeep. A month later grandma died and my father had no money for burial. Yes my father and mother have been living together all this while. My dad is different from my mom toward me, he will always support me when he has, but he is not a fighter, he doesn't care either but hevis better than my mom. he will only give wen he have it. Though He finally succumb to my mom pressure and they both forget about me 2016 as a failure who will never make it. I was just 20years old then with ND certificate.

For the burial, I was foolish enough to support them with almost all I had, and my mom also diverted the money I sent her for business into the burial. After the burial they all went their way and I'm left with my pregnant wife and depleted account balance. A month too the due date, things were so bad I already have plans to sell some of my furniture's wen my baby arrive. After my baby naming ceremony I was left with only 12k in my account and nobody to look on too. Non of my family member attend my child naming ceremony, only three people from the extended family who are close by came from my villagewhich is 7min drive to where i reside. My parents didn't even call me or my wife to send a little token for the child or at worst ask for his wellbeing.

Luckily for me again after the child dedication things started improving, my child brought favour and luck. A family member ask my parents why they didn't attend their grandson naming ceremony, they told him because I do not support their family despite me having money. I was so angry they could utter those statements after all I had done for them. Many more I did for them was not mention here. I later found out my father was angry because I gave my mum money to start a biz fir the family but I didn't give him money to build a house.

Despite all they did, I put it behind me and still started giving the little I could afford, they won't ask me directly if they need any thing but would rather tell people or family members to call me which often pisses me off, they have spoilt me in the face of families and old friends that i have money but dont want to help them. They do not appreciate the little I am doing.

I am currently serving NYSC, but because I have been taking care of my wife and boy Without help form nobody dey thought I am very rich. I have explained to them I'm not what dey think I'm yet but they won't bulge, they get angry anytime dey need and I could not provide. I don't have a car neither have I build a house.

Despite all this I still give them everything and they still kept on telling people I'm not helping them. My younger brother university education fees and welfare is on me, I pay 50% of thier rent recently, I send some cash periodically to them too yet they are not appreciative, everybody in the family sees me as someone who's not giving his parent.

I Iive in my state of origin and my parent are staying far east. Recently my mom came home for an occasion and want to stay at my place, I was not kinda comfortable with her coming around, I do not have that feeling. Yes I could send them money and cater what I can but I do not want her around me for now atleast not until I have figured out my life and settled down. They have called almost all the family again telling them how I don't want my mom to come to my side. Everybody in the extended family thinks I'm rich. I'm really afraid something could happen to me(Village people things)

My child is 10month now, and non of them have send a single penny for him.

I'm just confused because I know if I fall today again, there will be no shoulder to rest on, all I have is my wife(not wedded yet and my parents don't care about that) and my child.

Pls I need advice on what to do and how to handle them. I'm confused they might want my head through this hatred.

Hmmm

This is very deep

You have already started a family to fill the gap of lack of love from you parents

I think you have exposed yourself a lot to them, simply because you are extending good hands to them despite your own financial problems

No matter how much you spend on them all, build your own home and business and get your wife doing something so that when you are falling your wife will raise you up

The problem has already been created between you and your family including that of your wife

You need to go and do the proper thing on her family before you can call her a wife

Secondly, if you know that person your parents respects, you need to visit the person and explain all you can without reservations and ask him to unite your family together

Your parents have to lead any group of people that will follow you to your babe mama family, you can't do without going with them

The load you are crying is too much for you and pregnanting her was another load of joy to the Pains you are passing through

If you refuse to reunite with your family, then you are prosponing the evil day

As for your mum, i don't think she is OK

You spirit is irritating her demons

Your father is just silent and following your mum because he doesn't want her naughtyness

You woman is not recognized by your parents because of lact of family values among you guys

Your child is just a victim of all the nonsense going on and you have to protect and guard him
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 8:55pm On Oct 18, 2022
ZIMDRILL:


Love them from a distance if you can move away start your life some were far, you will see that your life will be less stressful

From your narration
your mom is very toxic when she near you, your upbringing will be telling you not move away but reality has shown you otherwise
thank you. This is exactly what I have been doing. I always help them from afar. What baffles me is how dey keep on telling witches and wizard about my life. I'm very much used too staying away from them, it has help me till this very stage.
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by nicerod(m): 9:04pm On Oct 18, 2022
Whar I can say is don't let her come near ur family she either came to spy or harm u or ur baby



Stop giving them until they learn to appreciate the little u have been doing.


U have to be mean to all of them

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 9:07pm On Oct 18, 2022
frozen70:


Hmmm

This is very deep

You have already started a family to fill the gap of lack of love from you parents

I think you have exposed yourself a lot to them, simply because you are extending good hands to them despite your own financial problems

No matter how much you spend on them all, build your own home and business and get your wife doing something so that when you are falling your wife will raise you up

The problem has already been created between you and your family including that of your wife

You need to go and do the proper thing on her family before you can call her a wife

Secondly, if you know that person your parents respects, you need to visit the person and explain all you can without reservations and ask him to unite your family together

Your parents have to lead any group of people that will follow you to your babe mama family, you can't do without going with them

The load you are crying is too much for you and pregnanting her was another load of joy to the Pains you are passing through

If you refuse to reunite with your family, then you are prosponing the evil day

As for your mum, i don't think she is OK

You spirit is irritating her demons

Your father is just silent and following your mum because he doesn't want her naughtyness

You woman is not recognized by your parents because of lact of family values among you guys

Your child is just a victim of all the nonsense going on and you have to protect and guard him
my parent listen to nobody they don't take advice from anyone and they are very far from home. Their brother and sister have ignored them to their fate. I have tried explaining the situation to the head of family but its not helping matters. As much as I still have my plans too cater for them and build their dream house, I want to set myself up first.

Thank you very much for this
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by intruder15(m): 9:07pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
She came to the village for an occasion, she wanted to stay at my place for sometime but I do not want her around.

My mom is in her late 40's, she is a type of woman who doesn't care about her child well being and being the first child from a womb, I was most affected. Countless time I have faced pain and cry asking myself if she is truly my mom. She has an habit of raining curses on me since my young age until after I left home at 15. Over the past 10years i have been staying with one family to another working my ass off. Trust me I have had my own share of sufferness. The most astonishing part is through those years my mom might only call once in a year that's after facing backlash from family members why she do not care about her son.

She also always half her way to block extended family members from helping me by either fighting with them at the brinks of them helping me or she will sha do something awkward at those moments that will make the helper back off

I won't be able to go into details of the sufferness I had been through with no support or parental love/care. Atleast if parent don't have money, they will support there child with prayers and care.

2020 I went home after 10years away, due to little misunderstanding, she knelt down in the middle of the compound and started raining curses on me, saying I will never prosper and all sort of different curses. I had to left home bcus of that. I went to further my studies at sch by engaging in all various type of hard labour. My mom will usually tell me going to school is not compulsory for me, that if I can't afford to go to school I will do hard labour. Yet when it comes to my younger brother she will have money to pay for his schooling and upkeep

Fast forward too a year later, things started going well for me, I was okay and doing pretty fine in school. Because of the loneliness and love I never had at young age, my girlfriend got pregnant and I told her to keep the pregnancy bcus I'm very sure I could take care of them.

That same year, I wasn't happy deep down the situation my family were in, so I gave about 50% of my savings to my mom too start a medium business for the family upkeep. A month later grandma died and my father had no money for burial. Yes my father and mother have been living together all this while. My dad is different from my mom toward me, he will always support me when he has, but he is not a fighter, he doesn't care either but hevis better than my mom. he will only give wen he have it. Though He finally succumb to my mom pressure and they both forget about me 2016 as a failure who will never make it. I was just 20years old then with ND certificate.

For the burial, I was foolish enough to support them with almost all I had, and my mom also diverted the money I sent her for business into the burial. After the burial they all went their way and I'm left with my pregnant wife and depleted account balance. A month too the due date, things were so bad I already have plans to sell some of my furniture's wen my baby arrive. After my baby naming ceremony I was left with only 12k in my account and nobody to look on too. Non of my family member attend my child naming ceremony, only three people from the extended family who are close by came from my villagewhich is 7min drive to where i reside. My parents didn't even call me or my wife to send a little token for the child or at worst ask for his wellbeing.

Luckily for me again after the child dedication things started improving, my child brought favour and luck. A family member ask my parents why they didn't attend their grandson naming ceremony, they told him because I do not support their family despite me having money. I was so angry they could utter those statements after all I had done for them. Many more I did for them was not mention here. I later found out my father was angry because I gave my mum money to start a biz fir the family but I didn't give him money to build a house.

Despite all they did, I put it behind me and still started giving the little I could afford, they won't ask me directly if they need any thing but would rather tell people or family members to call me which often pisses me off, they have spoilt me in the face of families and old friends that i have money but dont want to help them. They do not appreciate the little I am doing.

I am currently serving NYSC, but because I have been taking care of my wife and boy Without help form nobody dey thought I am very rich. I have explained to them I'm not what dey think I'm yet but they won't bulge, they get angry anytime dey need and I could not provide. I don't have a car neither have I build a house.

Despite all this I still give them everything and they still kept on telling people I'm not helping them. My younger brother university education fees and welfare is on me, I pay 50% of thier rent recently, I send some cash periodically to them too yet they are not appreciative, everybody in the family sees me as someone who's not giving his parent.

I Iive in my state of origin and my parent are staying far east. Recently my mom came home for an occasion and want to stay at my place, I was not kinda comfortable with her coming around, I do not have that feeling. Yes I could send them money and cater what I can but I do not want her around me for now atleast not until I have figured out my life and settled down. They have called almost all the family again telling them how I don't want my mom to come to my side. Everybody in the extended family thinks I'm rich. I'm really afraid something could happen to me(Village people things)

My child is 10month now, and non of them have send a single penny for him.

I'm just confused because I know if I fall today again, there will be no shoulder to rest on, all I have is my wife(not wedded yet and my parents don't care about that) and my child.

Pls I need advice on what to do and how to handle them. I'm confused they might want my head through this hatred.

Firstly, stop cohabitating with the lady. Don't expect your parents to appreciate a girlfriend because she has a child.
Propose to her if you love her. Get married even if it's a small wedding. I will advise a small wedding.
Your problem is that you care to an extent about how people see you. Your parents inclusive.

God sees your heart. Who are men to tarnish your image when God sees what is untold.

Place your mum and dad on a salary scale of 10k each per month. Once your start this, don't heed to any other expenses from them.

Take care of your younger ones as you can. But not at the detriment of your immediate family.
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tinubuagbado: 9:12pm On Oct 18, 2022
My friend the earlier it sinks into your head that they dont care about you the better for you.

Be a man and forget them.

Concentrate on your wife and children. Develop yourself and create tremendous wealth for yourself. Just act as if they dont exist

2 Likes

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 9:13pm On Oct 18, 2022
nicerod:
Whar I can say is don't let her come near ur family she either came to spy or harm u or ur baby



Stop giving them until they learn to appreciate the little u have been doing.


U have to be mean to all of them
I ask my younger sister to move in too my place last month so I could monitor and cater for her. She came, stayed only one day and started crying too go back that she can't stay with me probably bcus of the hatred and things mom has brainwashed her. She even left my ous unannounced, I and my woman searched for her all over the city for 20hrs

She probably came to spy.
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by GboyegaD(m): 9:14pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
my parent listen to nobody they don't take advice from anyone and they are very far from home. Their brother and sister have ignored them to their fate. I have tried explaining the situation to the head of family but its not helping matters. As much as I still have my plans too cater for them and build their dream house, I want to set myself up first.

Thank you very much for this

I would rather advise you to distance yourself from the negative energy they give you. Now that you are done with school, move on with your life and call them occasionally. They need not have full information about where you are or what you do.

As for your sister, if she doesn't need your help, let her be. You are not the messiah, stop acting like one. Focus on yourself and your immediate family.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by nicerod(m): 9:17pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
I ask my younger sister to move in too my place last month so I could monitor and cater for her. She came, stayed only one day and started crying too go back that she can't stay with me probably bcus of the hatred and things mom has brainwashed her. She even left my ous unannounced, I and my woman searched for her all over the city for 20hrs

She probably came to spy.

Kindly respect ursef stop forcing people who don't care into ur life..



God forbid bad thing happened to u .ur wife and the baby will suffer.


.. infact if possible stop communicating with them

3 Likes

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by frozen70(f): 9:18pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
my parent listen to nobody they don't take advice from anyone and they are very far from home. Their brother and sister have ignored them to their fate. I have tried explaining the situation to the head of family but its not helping matters. As much as I still have my plans too cater for them and build their dream house, I want to set myself up first.

Thank you very much for this

Ok naw, you have seen that, their attitude have kept people away from them, so it's not your fault

Build up yourself as you have decided that you will

As for their dream house

Use the money, buy a land in the city and build for your self first before thinking of ther own because

They don't value or appreciate you and your efforts dont go and build a house that will become family house and you start dragging it with your siblings

Or after building,
your business may develop another thing

As it is now I don't trust any of them

Law of survival is you first

2 Likes

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 9:19pm On Oct 18, 2022
intruder15:


Firstly, stop cohabitating with the lady. Don't expect your parents to appreciate a girlfriend because she has a child.
Propose to her if you love her. Get married even if it's a small wedding. I will advise a small wedding.
Your problem is that you care to an extent about how people see you. Your parents inclusive.

God sees your heart. Who are men to tarnish your image when God sees what is untold.

Place your mum and dad on a salary scale of 10k each per month. Once your start this, don't heed to any other expenses from them.

Take care of your younger ones as you can. But not at the detriment of your immediate family.

thanks very much.

About cohabiting with my woman, I can afford to wed her any moment, I don't want to spend any penny on that yet, not until I'm very much settled, and she understands me. But early next year we will be going for just small court marriage
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 9:26pm On Oct 18, 2022
GboyegaD:


I would rather advise you to distance yourself from the negative energy they give you. Now that you are done with school, move on with your life and call them occasionally. They need not have full information about where you are or what you do.

As for your sister, if she doesn't need your help, let her be. You are not the messiah, stop acting like one. Focus on yourself and your immediate family.
thank you very much
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 9:29pm On Oct 18, 2022
nicerod:


Kindly respect ursef stop forcing people who don't care into ur life..



God forbid bad thing happened to u .ur wife and the baby will suffer.


.. infact if possible stop communicating with them
main reason I do not want them close. I'm afraid of them and the extended family in general, I just can't stop thinking about something bad not happening, the thought of something bad happening is the reason why I created this thread
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Justkatty(f): 9:30pm On Oct 18, 2022
This one na household enemy
She'll keep torturing your emotions till you know how to ignore whenever you are being called upon on any unnecessary issue

See ehhh truth be told, if anything should happen to you or your baby none of them will even reason your matter.

Learn to work with your head not just with emotion.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by karsey: 9:32pm On Oct 18, 2022
This Tori long pass River Nile oh
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by intruder15(m): 9:42pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
thanks very much.

About cohabiting with my woman, I can afford to wed her any moment, I don't want to spend any penny on that yet, not until I'm very much settled, and she understands me. But early next year we will be going for just small court marriage

That's fine. Why not pay her bride price as well? It doesnt need to be big.
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:49pm On Oct 18, 2022
Tammyor2:
thank you. This is exactly what I have been doing. I always help them from afar. What baffles me is how dey keep on telling witches and wizard about my life. I'm very much used too staying away from them, it has help me till this very stage.


Dont listen to those to tell you about what they said about you

Knowing what have been said keeps you in touch which bad for your own good, dont listen or give a chance to anyone to say
what they have said

1 Like

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Tammyor2: 9:52pm On Oct 18, 2022
intruder15:


That's fine. Why not pay her bride price as well? It doesnt need to be big.
I wish I could just go to pay it alone. I have plans of taking elders and uncles to do the needful early next year.

If my parents where with me like most parents I knew are with their child, I would have done the needful since
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Houseofglam7(f): 10:20pm On Oct 18, 2022
So much toxicity!!!!!!
Dayummmm!!!!
Stay TF away from them if you wanna keep your sanity.

1 Like

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Pells: 12:09am On Oct 19, 2022
You have not learnt your lessons
Keep giving them your last card
Don't come and cry here next time
Ode undecided undecided undecided undecided
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by PattyMike(m): 3:38am On Oct 19, 2022
Olasyke:
Mama's boy. Your emotions would get you killed or worse. After all they've done to you, I thought you'd cut them off and severe ties with them?

Person wey no well. Tey tey I go don break sim throway claim orphan. For am to kneel down swear for me Omo no going back.
Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by otipoju(m): 4:26am On Oct 19, 2022
Tammyor2:
She came to the village for an occasion, she wanted to stay at my place for sometime but I do not want her around.

My mom is in her late 40's, she is a type of woman who doesn't care about her child wellbeing and being the first child from her womb, I was most affected. Countless time I have faced pain and cry asking myself if she is truly my mom. She has an habit of raining curses on me since my young age until I left home at 15. Over the past 10years i have been staying with one family to another working my ass off. Trust me I have had my own share of sufferness. The most astonishing part is through those years my mom might only call once in a year and that's after facing backlash from family members why she do not care about her son.

She also always have her way of blocking extended family members from helping me by either fighting with them at the brinks of them helping me or she will sha do something awkward at those moments that will make the helper back off.

I won't be able to go into details of the sufferness I had been through with no support or parental love/care. Atleast if parent don't have money, they will support there child with prayers and care.

2020 I went home after 10years away, due to little misunderstanding, she knelt down in the middle of the compound and started raining curses on me, saying I will never prosper and all sort of different curses. I had to left home bcus of that. I went to further my studies at sch by engaging in all various type of hard labour. My mom will usually tell me going to school is not compulsory for me, that if I can't afford to go to school I will do hard labour. Yet when it comes to my younger brother she will have money to pay for his schooling and upkeep

Fast forward too last tear, things started going well for me, I was okay and doing pretty fine in school. Because of the loneliness and love I never had at young age, my girlfriend got pregnant and I told her to keep the pregnancy bcus I'm very sure I could take care of them.

That same last year, I wasn't happy deep down about the situation my family were in, so I gave about 50% of my savings to my mom too start a medium business for the family upkeep. A month later grandma died and my father had no money for burial. Yes my father and mother have been living together all this while. My dad is different from my mom toward me, he will always support me when he has, but he is not a fighter, he doesn't care either but hevis better than my mom. he will only give wen he have it. Though He finally succumb to my mom pressure and they both forget about me 2016 as a failure who will never make it. I was just 20years old then with ND certificate.

For the burial, I was foolish enough to support them with almost all I had, and my mom also diverted the money I sent her for business into the burial. After the burial they all went their way and I'm left with my pregnant wife and depleted account balance. A month too the due date, things were so bad I already have plans to sell some of my furniture's wen my baby arrive. After my baby naming ceremony I was left with only 12k in my account and nobody to look on too. Non of my family member attend my child naming ceremony, only three people from the extended family who are close by came from my villagewhich is 7min drive to where i reside. My parents didn't even call me or my wife to send a little token for the child or at worst ask for his wellbeing.

Luckily for me again after the child dedication things started improving, my child brought favour and luck. A family member ask my parents why they didn't attend their grandson naming ceremony, they told him because I do not support their family despite me having money. I was so angry they could utter those statements after all I had done for them. Many more I did for them was not mention here. I later found out my father was angry because I gave my mum money to start a biz fir the family but I didn't give him money to build a house.

Despite all they did, I put it behind me and still started giving the little I could afford, they won't ask me directly if they need any thing but would rather tell people or family members to call me which often pisses me off, they have spoilt me in the face of families and old friends that i have money but dont want to help them. They do not appreciate the little I am doing.

I am currently serving NYSC, but because I have been taking care of my wife and boy Without help form nobody dey thought I am very rich. I have explained to them I'm not what dey think I'm yet but they won't bulge, they get angry anytime dey need and I could not provide. I don't have a car neither have I build a house.

Despite all this I still give them everything and they still kept on telling people I'm not helping them. My younger brother university education fees and welfare is on me, I pay 50% of thier rent recently, I send some cash periodically to them too yet they are not appreciative, everybody in the family sees me as someone who's not giving his parent.

I Iive in my state of origin and my parent are staying far east. Recently my mom came home for an occasion and want to stay at my place, I was not kinda comfortable with her coming around, I do not have that feeling. Yes I could send them money and cater what I can but I do not want her around me for now atleast not until I have figured out my life and settled down. They have called almost all the family again telling them how I don't want my mom to come to my side. Everybody in the extended family thinks I'm rich. I'm really afraid something could happen to me(Village people things)

My child is 10month now, and non of them have send a single penny for him.

I'm just confused because I know if I fall today again, there will be no shoulder to rest on, all I have is my wife(not wedded yet and my parents don't care about that) and my child.

Pls I need advice on what to do and how to handle them. I'm confused they might want my head through this hatred.

Can you just change your phone number delete ALL their contacts ( mother, father,siblings and relatives) and move to another house for the next ten years.

Save yourself first or you'll all drown together. If you think thier attitude towards you is going to change someday you are wasting your precious time.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by wonder233: 6:19am On Oct 19, 2022
If you want to hear the truth, ask advice from neutral people that don't know you before.
On nairaland, we are that people.
Bro, the advice of this:
Don't allow her come to your house. Simple.
Stop sending them money. Simple.
Block and delete their numbers from your phone. Simple.
Don't listen to any extended family advice that call to ask you why you cut them off. Simple
If you can, relocate far away from them. Simple.

You notice how I put "simple" in all the suggestions. It is because the solution is easy.
But after we have advised you, will you take it?
This is your final opportunity, after this, they want to eliminate you. If you like, continue with them.

1 Like

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by Mrnuelzz: 8:21am On Oct 19, 2022
If your story is true.. Please cut off from those demons.. Blood relationship doesn't mean family
And the entitlement mentality even when they did nothing for u but cursed and wished u evil

U even have the mind to take money u will use to better the lot of your self, your wife and kid to be giving idiots for burial, starting a business by your demonic mother and even sponsoring your siblings education thereby reducing load for your demonic mother..

It's like you love suffering.. Continue


Tammyor2:
She came to the village for an occasion, she wanted to stay at my place for sometime but I do not want her around.

My mom is in her late 40's, she is a type of woman who doesn't care about her child wellbeing and being the first child from her womb, I was most affected. Countless time I have faced pain and cry asking myself if she is truly my mom. She has an habit of raining curses on me since my young age until I left home at 15. Over the past 10years i have been staying with one family to another working my ass off. Trust me I have had my own share of sufferness. The most astonishing part is through those years my mom might only call once in a year and that's after facing backlash from family members why she do not care about her son.

She also always have her way of blocking extended family members from helping me by either fighting with them at the brinks of them helping me or she will sha do something awkward at those moments that will make the helper back off.

I won't be able to go into details of the sufferness I had been through with no support or parental love/care. Atleast if parent don't have money, they will support there child with prayers and care.

2020 I went home after 10years away, due to little misunderstanding, she knelt down in the middle of the compound and started raining curses on me, saying I will never prosper and all sort of different curses. I had to left home bcus of that. I went to further my studies at sch by engaging in all various type of hard labour. My mom will usually tell me going to school is not compulsory for me, that if I can't afford to go to school I will do hard labour. Yet when it comes to my younger brother she will have money to pay for his schooling and upkeep

Fast forward too last tear, things started going well for me, I was okay and doing pretty fine in school. Because of the loneliness and love I never had at young age, my girlfriend got pregnant and I told her to keep the pregnancy bcus I'm very sure I could take care of them.

That same last year, I wasn't happy deep down about the situation my family were in, so I gave about 50% of my savings to my mom too start a medium business for the family upkeep. A month later grandma died and my father had no money for burial. Yes my father and mother have been living together all this while. My dad is different from my mom toward me, he will always support me when he has, but he is not a fighter, he doesn't care either but hevis better than my mom. he will only give wen he have it. Though He finally succumb to my mom pressure and they both forget about me 2016 as a failure who will never make it. I was just 20years old then with ND certificate.

For the burial, I was foolish enough to support them with almost all I had, and my mom also diverted the money I sent her for business into the burial. After the burial they all went their way and I'm left with my pregnant wife and depleted account balance. A month too the due date, things were so bad I already have plans to sell some of my furniture's wen my baby arrive. After my baby naming ceremony I was left with only 12k in my account and nobody to look on too. Non of my family member attend my child naming ceremony, only three people from the extended family who are close by came from my villagewhich is 7min drive to where i reside. My parents didn't even call me or my wife to send a little token for the child or at worst ask for his wellbeing.

Luckily for me again after the child dedication things started improving, my child brought favour and luck. A family member ask my parents why they didn't attend their grandson naming ceremony, they told him because I do not support their family despite me having money. I was so angry they could utter those statements after all I had done for them. Many more I did for them was not mention here. I later found out my father was angry because I gave my mum money to start a biz fir the family but I didn't give him money to build a house.

Despite all they did, I put it behind me and still started giving the little I could afford, they won't ask me directly if they need any thing but would rather tell people or family members to call me which often pisses me off, they have spoilt me in the face of families and old friends that i have money but dont want to help them. They do not appreciate the little I am doing.

I am currently serving NYSC, but because I have been taking care of my wife and boy Without help form nobody dey thought I am very rich. I have explained to them I'm not what dey think I'm yet but they won't bulge, they get angry anytime dey need and I could not provide. I don't have a car neither have I build a house.

Despite all this I still give them everything and they still kept on telling people I'm not helping them. My younger brother university education fees and welfare is on me, I pay 50% of thier rent recently, I send some cash periodically to them too yet they are not appreciative, everybody in the family sees me as someone who's not giving his parent.

I Iive in my state of origin and my parent are staying far east. Recently my mom came home for an occasion and want to stay at my place, I was not kinda comfortable with her coming around, I do not have that feeling. Yes I could send them money and cater what I can but I do not want her around me for now atleast not until I have figured out my life and settled down. They have called almost all the family again telling them how I don't want my mom to come to my side. Everybody in the extended family thinks I'm rich. I'm really afraid something could happen to me(Village people things)

My child is 10month now, and non of them have send a single penny for him.

I'm just confused because I know if I fall today again, there will be no shoulder to rest on, all I have is my wife(not wedded yet and my parents don't care about that) and my child.

Pls I need advice on what to do and how to handle them. I'm confused they might want my head through this hatred.

1 Like

Re: I Am Very Afraid, I Need This Advice by satandeterrible: 9:42am On Oct 19, 2022
intruder15 you be idiot. Big bastard you be. Very useless animal!!!

Why are you talking about vrujde price and marriage with the lady? Did the OP come here to complain about his girlfriend?

Why can't you just up your disgusting, dirty, diseased mouth as you obviously have nothing intelligent to say.

Miserable bastard. The OP is not seeking your useless advice about marriage to his girlfriend. The OP is seeking advice about his toxic and demonic family members.


Nonentities like you should be shot at sight. You are very sick inythe head. Stupid animal.

Focus on the topic and stop pressuring the OP to marry.
Fool!!!!

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