₦airaland Forum

shugga:
Good morning, thanks for the compliment!

Yes I just discovered he's the bragging type, he lives above his means just to show off to his friends and I'm not cool with such, I'm having a second thought already.

Be patient and study him more before you accept his marriage proposal. Marriage is long-term, you don't want to be with a guy that keeps living above his means, it will affect you negatively. He should be happy he has a lady like you. 50K salary and he's thinking of flamboyant wedding?! Hmmmm

Op, you have a correct mindset and u dont need sum1 who cant see fundamental issues lyk dat in the right perspective especially a man.
I still can't see why pple cant see d big error in wasting money when it cant add anything good to d new couple.

Phema:
Please, run for your life. No need for plenty talk. Trust me, you are not going to like being married to such a man.

All they know how to do is dream big and build castles in the air without any concrete plans. They will be owing landlord 1 year rent but will be wearing designer shoes. You, the woman, will be the one struggling to meet up with the basic financial needs of the family (feeding, rent, school fees etc) while he just keeps dreaming.

Run, i say.

Jealousy.

maryhaam:
don't think too much go with the flow,its will be boring weekend no match,wil do game,novel n eat well.

Wow really..u play games too? Which game ?

I actually have plans of gaming 2moro.

lolaxavier:
Point of view quite understood.
Not living within one's means is very detrimental to success and progress. I can see some people above me trying to make excuses for him. Wanting to brag shouldn't be an excuse to rent Psquare when you know there's upcoming Taofeek behind your house that will just settle for a plate of rice and probably charge you 10k and still make the event fun.
My point is if you can't live within your means before marriage, you may end up ruining your marital home by the time you see your school mate driving g-wagon and you want to do the same when all your life savings can't even buy a bumper. End result - stealing, greed, irritation, anger (when you can't get what you want), indebtedness, frustration etc.
Op, did you say 50k? In fact, he may end up paying for wedding expenses for the first three years of marriage. What joy is in that? Find out who your friends are.

Thank you sir. Your comment has been the most enlightening I've read so far on the 1st page. All others are just talking like typical Nigerians.

Gosh! I hate the way some reason. This man will put this young lady in debts. Such men annoy me! Doing things just to get praises from peeps who don't send you. No wonder some remain the way they are after so many years.

emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears

Umm

tintingz:
He's going to use his own money so whats the fuss?

80% ladies wants a wedding ceremony that will shake the street.

Did you read the part where he said he didn't mind taking a loan??

shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?

My dear, that guy is sooooo not the one for you. He's the kind that likes to live above his means. Run now!

[color=#990000][/color]MY SISTER RUN OOOO! Do not compromise now bcus you will join in paying the gbese for his elaborate partying. If he does not see reason with u then walk. That is if you yasef is not desperate to wear ring of bondage. I may be old school but I believe it is the man who should conservative as na on top him head load dey. But when you meet a man who does not care and is even willing to go borrow for show....then my sistah fly like an eagle ...flyyyyyy ....fly away!!! Or stay and suffer na your choice.

yomi007k:
Wow really..u play games too? Which game ?

I actually have plans of gaming 2moro.

don't take my game serious,scrabble n candycrush *covered face*my bro didn't teach me Ps properly.

maryhaam:
don't take my game serious,scrabble n candycrush *covered face*my bro didn't teach me Ps properly.

Abi u didn't have interest.


U shud play more games...it helps.

yomi007k:
Abi u didn't have interest.


U shud play more games...it helps.

I like it very well but have got limit,cant play all

maryhaam:
I like it very well but have got limit,cant play all

So wat oda interests do u hv?

irishCream:
Wow! wow!! Wow!!!

This is exactly what my cousin did two months ago and the hubby surprised her with a brand new car after the wedding and the way he holds my cousin in high esteem ehen...op your guy is immature, he doesn't deserve you in my own opinion.




Lalasticlala can I make a request

I concur with you. The guy DOES NOT DESERVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?

Dear, your reason is quite good. These days, people dont do things to impress people. Who cares these days. Go ahead with your plans and if he refuses then meet with his family and close friends and explain to them to advise him. I love your mentality.

Phema:
Please, run for your life. No need for plenty talk. Trust me, you are not going to like being married to such a man.

All they know how to do is dream big and build castles in the air without any concrete plans. They will be owing landlord 1 year rent but will be wearing designer shoes. You, the woman, will be the one struggling to meet up with the basic financial needs of the family (feeding, rent, school fees etc) while he just keeps dreaming.

Run, i say.

Shugga, are you reading this? You deserve the best and unfortunately that guy isn't.

emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married

Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears

What a childish mentality.
SMH

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

This part of the story really touched me and it has thought me a good lesson. "When money comes, friends go come, when money go, friends go go."
OP! dont worry, you will soon bounce back. Hold on to God. Troubles dont last forever. Weeping may endures for a nite but joy comes in the morning. Cheers!

yomi007k:
So wat oda interests do u hv?

huhhhhh,i love movies and goodbooks wif plenty of sleep.

maryhaam:
huhhhhh,i love movies and goodbooks wif plenty of sleep.

Me too,except the sleep part.

shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?

Different strokes for different folks. I asked my lady for quiet marriage celebration, she said without elaborate owambe I should forget it. U see, sometimes what we desire runs from us and stuff we don't come to us.
Oya come make we kukuma marry na since we share same ideology.

yomi007k:
Me too,except the sleep part.

am good for any sleep competition, incase there is

shugga:
Good morning, thanks for the compliment!

Yes I just discovered he's the bragging type, he lives above his means just to show off to his friends and I'm not cool with such, I'm having a second thought already.

The bolded is a trait most men share in common.


Remember no body is perfect,if that's his only undoing and deep down inside of you,you love him,then try reaching a compromise [after all a Wedding is done once] and trust me as time goes by,he'd buy your idea.

Uwc.

maryhaam:
am good for any sleep competition, incase there is

There has never been any n I doubt if there ever will be one atleast not in this subsaharan Africa.


Reduce it, u may easily fall into depression.(Doctor's Advice)

shugga:
Thanks for the compliment but I guess you're a genius for discerning I'm intelligent, top of the morning to you!

Quote of the thread
"it takes a man who is a genius to discover a woman who is intelligent"

If you think about his statement deeply, it could be that the guy is indirectly telling you that as much as he's into you and all that, you shouldn't expect a wedding (or that kinda commitment) in the nearest future.

MarvellousGod:
He wants an elaborate wedding with 50k salary? Dreamer! ! Talk is cheap .. His 3years salary can't even do an elaborate wedding

So senseless! When he should be happy he has someone like you! He isn't even worried about whether his 50k salary can take care of the family he's about to raise....

funny you ... can't stop laughing ( his 3yrs salary can't do it ooooo)

I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.
so much sense in these words. we think alike. you just made me day, never knew someone thinks the same way as me. Goodluck with your man.

yomi007k:
There has never been any n I doubt if there ever will be one atleast not in this subsaharan Africa.


Reduce it, u may easily fall into depression.(Doctor's Advice)

huh I know doc,but am not depressed I don't sleep upto 8hrs during weekdays so I make up ni now,sound n good sleep.sleep is good joooo

maryhaam:
huh I know doc,but am not depressed I don't sleep upto 8hrs during weekdays so I make up ni now,sound n good sleep.sleep is good joooo

Well, if u say so

Pidggin:
Be patient and study him more before you accept his marriage proposal. Marriage is long-term, you don't want to be with a guy that keeps living above his means, it will affect you negatively. He should be happy he has a lady like you. 50K salary and he's thinking of flamboyant wedding?! Hmmmm

I fit bet say dt guy na yoruba man.

Na so we dey think.

Wen chips r down we go con say na one old woman for village dey worry us.

lolaxavier:
Point of view quite understood.
Not living within one's means is very detrimental to success and progress. I can see some people above me trying to make excuses for him. Wanting to brag shouldn't be an excuse to rent Psquare when you know there's upcoming Taofeek behind your house that will just settle for a plate of rice and probably charge you 10k and still make the event fun.
My point is if you can't live within your means before marriage, you may end up ruining your marital home by the time you see your school mate driving g-wagon and you want to do the same when all your life savings can't even buy a bumper. End result - stealing, greed, irritation, anger (when you can't get what you want), indebtedness, frustration etc.
Op, did you say 50k? In fact, he may end up paying for wedding expenses for the first three years of marriage. What joy is in that? Find out who your friends are.

I wanted to comment but this describes aptly what I have in mind. To add to this however , if he still insist on a big wedding tell him he should know he would have financial obligations after the wedding and that you will not accept taking up his responsibilities due to any debt he may have incurred.