Hello Nairalanders

My mom died when I was 3 years, and I was the only child she had before she died.

It's been just me and My Dad since then, My childhood was a lonely one. My Dad is 39 years while me am 19years, I will be 20 next year. My dad was young when my mom gave birth to me.

Now my problem is that, despite my age my dad still cages me, he doesn't give me freedom and he doesn't allow me to keep friends, any time he sees me talking with a male friend, he will tell me he doesn't want to see me with anybody, I can't be out side when time done pass 6pm oo or else Na wahala.

At 19 years I can't boast of 1k cos am always staying at his shop, and the thing is driving me crazy. As a man, checking my account balance and seeing (N0.00) dey make me sad, and I don't know how to tell him that I want to stop going to his shop and start a hustling for myself.

I just finished my secondary school and I thought he would give me some free hand but for where?? He gets more strict as time as goes on and its making me hate him. And my dad is a very hot tempered man, he nor dey understand at all at all. Am even tired of staying with him, I have been with him since 19 years, travel he nor dey gree make I travel.

My question is, will he ever stop being like this? I don't want any one to delay me in my life cos it seems it's what he is trying to do, i want to be wealthy at a young age. Being broke makes me feel less of a man.

Please mods move to fp,before I go run commot for house

The only thing that will loose you from the shackles of your dad's stronghold is leaving home to school, or work . By the time you are ready to start university or learn a trade you will have more freedom for yourself. Continue to be patient, because I believe the circumstances of your mum's death must have hurt him badly. It's bad that he doesn't give you enough financial support, you just have to manage and be content with the little you have.

Enjoy it while it lasts

Freedom is coming to Soweto sooner than expected.

In all the things you said, you never mentioned about furthering your studies, only money, money and money, be calming down kid, and plan your life better, you may think he is caging you now, but later you will understand.

You have to be patient and you should also come up with a plan of you trying and willing to learn a skill, trade and furthering your education, don't just think about money alone or hustling for hustling sake but for you to plan something with your future the main reason for it and not to keep up with your friends. When you have your plans in place, brief him and tell him how you want to go about it, also ask him what are his plans for you, dies he want you to go to school or use his own business as a learning phase for you to be established.

You have to be polite in dealing with him cos he will believe he is doing what is best for you while those forms of discipline is no longer in vogue, you could also find a reasonable person who is conversant with the way the world currently works to talk to him, because you will need to communicate and mingle with people of your age grade not to chop the life but to be abreast of every vital information needed to navigate life.

Note, I was once in your shoes just that mine was with both parents, and I was the only son of 4 children coupled with their religious belief that says I need to be protected though prophecy, I don't even attend school parties or any other party, no friends or even a visit to relatives. And there was no money to spend.

Whatever decision you want to take don't let it be that you want to be free but that you can at least have a hold on important moves in your life concerning your future.

Pls don't be mad at your dad,some day you will understand,loosing your mom dealt him a blow and created a fear not to ever loose you,even if he will never say it, that is why he is been over protective without knowing he is wrong.
He loved you crazily and he is afraid of not just loosing you but you following the wrong path.

My advice is to talk to him and let him know nothing will happen to you.
2,you will never bring him dishonour.
3,let him know you are not really interested in the shop,if you love to work ,let him know that that is what you want, to work and earn, to meet with people and mix with ideas to help you intellect,that meeting people will help build you and you can discern between a bad company and a good company now.

Lastly,before approaching him,be definite on what you want to do because he will bombard you will questions.

You have to understand your dad, you're the only one he's got and he's been the sole protector since your momma passed away.

Once you get into College, you will have your freedom, and it's all on you to decide how you want to maximise the freedom because he might still want to be protective.

Some parent (s) are like that but just calm down....once you enter the university,he will release you a bit

Op,the truth is that you've got a very caring dad . Just that sometimes,we youngsters don't really seem to appreciate such kind of love.......But trust me,with time, your dad will loosen up......Then you'll definitely have your freedom.....By then, you'll understand what it means to have a caring dad, because by then you go don realize say truly truly there ain't nothing like true love out there apart from the one you're being shown now by your dad..

Las las,try talk to your dad like man to man.....Give am reasons to know why he should treat you like a man.....Man up

Focus on getting Admission to school. From there, you find your way.

U no be small pikin before? Abi u want make I press konk for ur head?

Your dad knows your plans so well

You wan to go and join yahoo yahoo aka Btc traders

You want to go and start making money from what

Do you have any skill?

You are still a teenager

When you turn 23 then he can give you a little space

It’s so cold outside my brother




Prove to him that you’re now a man in good deeds..

Hustle oo, make your papa no dey monitor you like CCTV camera

Damnnn niggar
Ogbeni just try and get admission into a tertiary institution

That freedom way you dey look for go tire you

Slap him

Proverb 22:6,read it
Proverb 23-22:25,read it
May Almighty God be with you

It’s because your dad loves you bro...

Your case and mine is similar, the only difference is that my own dad married 3 wives even before we lost my mum, my mum died while 1’m 10yrs of age, right now, I am 32yrs of age, and still leaving in his compound, what I mean by compound is that we not staying under same flat, I built my own 2 bedroom mini flat inside same compound cos we have 2 plots of land, and the reason behind building the flat there is that my dad don’t want me to be out of his sight, anytime it’s 10 and am not home yet, my dad will be calling me on phone asking me where I am, as if am a kid, though am doing good for myself, am about to finish my another apartment, I owns a good business and riding a very nice car and already have two children, yet, my dad still treated me like a child, just because of the pure love, am now giving serious consideration to move out from his sight this 2022, I will just rent the apartment out and rent another one outside, cos my wife has been complaining almost 2 yrs now for us to move out, that we can’t continue staying here.
So my bro, my best advice for you is that just continue enduring it and set a plan for yourself within the circumstances you are, you no get one naira for account you wan run comot for house, my brother if better hunger wire you, na you go run come back home yourself o, and if u don’t run coke back home, that means you ready to join bad gang or something else all because you want to be feeding yourself, and that’s a very bad path to choose, cos it will surely destroy your life, bewarned

Patience is the key.

It's all for good .

Get admission to sch that far away from ur home simple as A B C

But ur kinds are students who always over do things wen u get small freedom. I'm seeing future cultist as earlier as 100L.

Don’t hate your pops, he’s a good man and all these feelings are normal, you are 19 yo going to 20
He did a great job just try to further your education or better yet learn a skill preferably tech related
If you are good at it You will start getting jobs you can do From your room and you will get good money
Just hold on tight man!!
Love and respect your old man

Yea, normal complain you will hear from a 20yr old. It is normal you think or feel you are mature enough to do your things your way but seriously you are not. This is even really the time he needs to monitor and take care of you more cause between your age now and the next 5-8 years the decisions you take can make or mar you however is just unfortunate that your dad has to realised there is limit to what he can do. He can only be trying to monitor and shape you but unfortunately "you can only take a horse to the river, you can't force it to drink". Meanwhile, please no matter the age you get to, you will always continue to be the son/daughter of your father; even your dad that is 39 yrs now is still like a child in the face of his parent

19 years. Smh. You better calm down so you will eventually understand why he is protecting you. Don't let all his suffering and sacrifice go to waste. At 19, that's the peak of adolescent crisis,if you don't calm down, you may later regret any foolish rash decision,it can be as bad as you losing your life. I remember I had a friend with this your kind of mentality as an only son and rebellion to his Dad's over protection when we were about same age, he was eventually murdered. I still remember him till date. He missed all the milestones we his childhood friends achieved as brilliant as he was

From all you stated above, you are all he's got! Everything he is and got is yours. Just calm down and be obedient to him and don't hassle him, by next 10 years from now, you will know why.
Even those who are old enough to be your grandfather here who still have parents never grow up to their parents. Fatherhood is bequeathed ; only a father can make a father out of a son. You need him. The brighter side is that if you can handle your Dad with understanding and maturity, trust me when you have bosses like your Dad, you will be their favourite subordinate.