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He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by shugga(f): 9:05am On Oct 09, 2015
Phema:


Please, run for your life. No need for plenty talk. Trust me, you are not going to like being married to such a man.

Already advice myself, just wanted to be sure I'm not making a mistake leaving him.

4 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Nobody: 9:24am On Oct 09, 2015
irishCream:


You dey dull... grin


Other smart guys go don do the needful since, Infact let me invite some that are looking for op type here tongue
Or it's OP that's playing coy. wink
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by tmv10(m): 9:25am On Oct 09, 2015
123
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Lekan111(m): 9:28am On Oct 09, 2015
Please someone should help me i want to know school fees for fce oyo special both fresher and staylite thanks.
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Eberex(m): 9:28am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?

"he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend". what do you really mean here, because this conclusion is based only on this wedding issue. Anyway that aside, tell me....Is he a yoruba guy? because i know they love OWAMBE things. When i get answers to my questions i will continue
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by joyfavour(f): 9:29am On Oct 09, 2015
my dear do whats is best for you....coz after the big wedding and no money to eat coz of borrowed money....


u wont enjoy ur marriage then oooo


just try to come to a compromise without spending much
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by nathdim: 9:29am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?
I wish my wife to be would be like you

2 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by HirstMOG(m): 9:30am On Oct 09, 2015
tintingz:
He's going to use his own money so whats the fuss?

80% ladies wants a wedding ceremony that will shake the street. wink

Shake the street and you will start drinking garri after.

2 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by fanex: 9:30am On Oct 09, 2015
leave the clown asap. with his mentality hes bound to put both of you in a big trouble now or later in life. undecided you earn 50k plus and you want an elaborate wedding...

this story makes no sense

4 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by HRich(m): 9:31am On Oct 09, 2015
yanabasee:
Shugga mi grin ..... You might have taken his words wrongly from him.... And please don't take his 50k salary for granted.... Most guys are very determined. They could go a great length to achieve whatever they desire for..

Mainly, I don't like weddings or ceremonies... But if I may...I'll do it for the love. And I'll do it they way she wants it... If I'm very buoyant, I wouldn't mind making it very classy!

Most times, I'll say... If I'm very rich I'll use cars as my souvenirs! (Don't mind me) grin

Lastly, just let him... When that time is near, he'll look into his pocket. He'll think twice. N1million-wedding is a very small wedding this days... If he really wnts it big... You should do the saving. So that you guys will have wet palms after the wedding.
Arguely the best and gentle comment, buh i wouldn't want a Noisy wedding though.
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by timmycris(m): 9:31am On Oct 09, 2015
tintingz:
He's going to use his own money so whats the fuss?

80% ladies wants a wedding ceremony that will shake the street. wink

U spoke my mind
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by emmanuel596(m): 9:31am On Oct 09, 2015
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears sad sad angry sad
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by eRex(m): 9:33am On Oct 09, 2015
agreed... my simple suggestion... Live within your means not even ur earnings..

i jst got married and the most joy i ever had was that at the end of the wedding, i owe no one a dime..

Shey the marriage is still waxing strong while the wedding has long been forgotten.
Cos it gave me more room to plan ahead, i could afford anoda car and presently trying to dispose my intial car.
It all about planning and i commend you..
Ask married peeps for advice even the very rich ones...

yomi007k:
My dear OP,

Judging by all u have written..
You are very intelligent

You are rare

You have experience.

Your choices would worth more than wat ur fiance has in mind.

That guy does not look like a good financial planner to me. Seems he believes more in "luck".

I'm sure he hasn't seen life.

If u were my blood sister, I wud say take ur time. Becos getting married is a long term thing. Be very Careful.

#shalom
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by stevealibi: 9:34am On Oct 09, 2015
tintingz:
He's going to use his own money so whats the fuss?

80% ladies wants a wedding ceremony that will shake the street. wink



80% ladies wants a wedding ceremony that will shake the street.

cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by deadie(m): 9:34am On Oct 09, 2015
Is he Yor0ba undecided? They love those kain tins.

1 Like

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by luluosas(m): 9:35am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?
Your kind are rare these days. My friend, I hope you've not opened your legs for him because that is a SIN. So, if he refuse to see reasons with you, know that he is not your destined husband. He is a kind of person that likes show off even when he is nothing. Just live him and seek your destined husband through prayer and fasting. Cheers.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Nobody: 9:36am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:


Already advice myself, just wanted to be sure I'm not making a mistake leaving him.
You're making no mistake. Run ooo
He's yet to face the financial involvement in running a home and he's planning to start off on loan. shocked shocked

He already told you you're not his type of lady. What are you waiting for?

4 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by debuscket(m): 9:37am On Oct 09, 2015
when l read d caption, l was expecting to see where one said l" l don't" Instead of " l do" On the altar
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Nobody: 9:39am On Oct 09, 2015
emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears sad sad angry sad
Why do people reason like this? sad

11 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by coolheed: 9:40am On Oct 09, 2015
OP.
This is a warning signal for you to know the kind of marriage you are about to enter.
A lot of people ignore red flags like this all in the name of "love".

A husband should be a coach, mentor and adviser but based on what you described, this guy is none of these.
If I were to advise you on this, I will say think twice before you proceed. It is obvious that you may live a miserable life if you marry this dude.

He is fake, inexperienced, immature and will not make a good husband with his current mindset and thought process.

Your future is very important to you and you need to guard it jealously.

On another thought, I think this guy may be decieving you. He may want you use that to lure you into his bed and chase you away. Please be careful.....

In fact, a jobless and visionary guy is by far better than this guy.

Please think and look before you leap.

3 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Nobody: 9:42am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:

I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

These words should be written in gold and framed. Word!

The answer to your question lies in your post. See it here:

shugga:
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

You'll likely have other disagreements concerning life and living especially around values and swimming with the crowd. You are too deep for this guy. By the way, he has also tactfully warned you. His warning is an o secret.

Be careful. I wish you well.

1 Like

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Nobody: 9:42am On Oct 09, 2015
My advice @shugga
If I were you, I wouldn't come to a compromise. He might consider your reasons now and have the wedding your way but there's every tendency he's going to put the family in some heavy financial crisis sooner or later.

2 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by ipain: 9:42am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?
my dear may God bless you. I will say it's best you don't bother about marrying such a man. Trust me, you may have hard time to cope.

3 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by femi4: 9:42am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing dating, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click clique that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me I, on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family, is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by waxdebo(m): 9:43am On Oct 09, 2015
Please run walk away from that guy b4 he distroy ur life. He is just after ur pant.

1 Like

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Nobody: 9:47am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?
chaiii u are my kind of woman....i will wish for my wedding not having more than 30 guest,family included i dont really fancy all this noise making weddings....well if u end up loving him u guys need to sit and agree on somethings
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by justwise(m): 9:48am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?


Perfectly good reason. He can move on.

3 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by ZUBY77(m): 9:55am On Oct 09, 2015
The moment I read "I am ready to do anything even if I have to borrow," I know that the man is not ready for any wedding.

Watch your underwear for now.
His motive might be different.
The big wedding thing could be a diversion.

He might believe that every girl wants big wedding.
Because almost every girl I know wants big weddings.

You might not be thinking towards my Ideas, but if you know who I am, you will know that I know a lot about how human beings think.

2 Likes

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by xdos(m): 9:56am On Oct 09, 2015
Hi Ops.. U're smart...
A lot of people prepare for wedding more than they prepare for marriage... Marriage kicks off after wedding... Am surprise u're even the one suggesting a lo-key wedding.. Most times it is the other way round.
I am sorry to say this.. Your man has no plan for the future if he really means it!!!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Nobody: 9:56am On Oct 09, 2015
shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?
MUST YOU TALK HIS SALARY undecided

ALL I SEE HERE IS THE OPPOSITE OF YOU!

YOU WANT A BIG WEDDING, YOU WANT PEOPLE TO acknowledges YOU AND SO ON AND SO ON.


YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. GO AND CHECK YOURSELF
Re: He Said NO To A Quiet Wedding!!! by Flameneo(m): 9:56am On Oct 09, 2015
Can two walk together except they aggree?
This is a sign of incompatibility and I want you to watch it b4 you make any futher commitment.
With the point you gave,you are reasonable enough.this is just a preamble for him, Very soon when he is finally married to you,you will see him come out of his shell.

Don't stay in a relationship where your openion does not count even when reasonable enough

3 Likes

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