₦airaland Forum

[quote author=naijadeyhia post=38912432][/quote]Abeg helep me tell all these kids that don't even know what love is , you have to work to get to love , it doesn't come cheap

Nnemuka:
never mind. seen

I wasn't referring to you with that post

Dear if you want the rainbow,you have to deal with the rain....

neoapocalypse:
This is where you get it wrong again , physical attraction doesn't always have to come first , I'll give the story of my very own sister. She's has been happily married for for 16 years now and she wasn't initially attracted to her husband , in fact she was attracted to her husband's friend , who came to ask her out. The guy was very rich , fine boy , smooth talker and all , the attraction was instantaneous. The guy used to come visit her at home then with his friend ( who later became her husband ). At a point she was always in disagreement with this guy from minor issues to major ones. Eventually she had to break up and the friend seeing my sister as a good wife material decided to ask her out , initially she was thrown aback and bluntly turned the guy down but my parents seeing a good man in him advised my sister to consider the young man. She just couldn't see herself getting married to him but the guy grew on her as time went by and she started seeing the qualities my parents saw in him. Today they are very happily married with 4 kids , you should go to their home to see what a happy family is.

You are the one who is wrong. The lady in question chose to see what she wanted to see. She allowed material things to make the decisions for her, besides you are also wrong in the sense that, the brother is not a stranger to her. He must have been someone who still get together with her and have conversations with. He wasn't a total stranger the way you are trying to paint him. What do you expect from a lady who sees two brothers, and one is very rich, huh? Something is also telling me this lady was due for marriage anyway and that's where the folks come in.

It was after it dawned on her that she now saw the attraction in the other guy.

Hmm!

holyFRED:
Dear if you want the rainbow,you have to deal with the rain....

neoapocalypse:
I wasn't referring to you with that post

i know. was just being curious.

I pity the guy and NOT the girl.

I must say that I am also learning a lot, please keep them coming. Sincere appreciation to you all!!

Please there is no need for harsh words and verbal attacks, no one knows it all. Thanks

why?

teeowl:
I pity the guy and NOT the girl.

jabojafa:
she shd keep him close as a frnd and b wasting d man's tym abi? Rather dan waste d guy's tym, why not tell him dt u dnt fancy him romatically so dt he cud go else where. Abeg if u nor wan marry d man giv me him numba mk i connect am with some church sistas wen i knw dey look for husband.

nyc one

Eberex:
You are the one who is wrong. The lady in question chose to see what she wanted to see. She allowed material things to make the decisions for her, besides you are also wrong in the sense that, the brother is not a stranger to her. He must have been someone who still get together with her and have conversations with. He wasn't a total stranger the way you are trying to paint him. What do you expect from a lady who sees two brothers, and one is very rich, huh? Something is also telling me this lady was due for marriage anyway and that's where the folks come in.

It was after it dawned on her that she now saw the attraction in the other guy.

Yet you contradict yourself

From your post you mentioned an obvious attraction has to there before anything can happen

My sister was never attracted to her husband initially , from your post you make it sound like once a girl talks to a man then there is attraction

My sister got married at the age of 24 immediately after service so she wasn't desperate.

She wasn't attracted to the guys money but I'll admit she was attracted to his looks and he was a smooth talker , he knows how to keep people captivated with his suave person. My parents saw beyond this.

bronzegoddess:
Quite a number of us ladies are in this situation. That guy comes along, is caring, God fearing, hard-working and all, but we don't get that romantic vibe with the person. I'll say keep him close, not necessarily date him, just keep him close



Y'all are allowed to read whatever meaning u want to this ^^

I take it you mean " be sleeping with him but don't marry him" Not a bad idea to me sha!

bronzegoddess:
Quite a number of us ladies are in this situation. That guy comes along, is caring, God fearing, hard-working and all, but we don't get that romantic vibe with the person. I'll say keep him close, not necessarily date him, just keep him close



Y'all are allowed to read whatever meaning u want to this ^^

and the mumu guy will let you keep him close...some guys sha...why waste your time with just one lady,when they are so many b!tches to be sampled.

Aitee1:

Na Ika him from oh

uyai iban,abadie,afo aya ndo mien?

Eberex:
Even though i am not married, i can say this with all conviction: only love can sustain a relationship, talk less of marriage.

Love doesnt sustain a relationship. If it were people wont divorce. Its wisdom that sustains a relationship.

bronzegoddess:
Quite a number of us ladies are in this situation. That guy comes along, is caring, God fearing, hard-working and all, but we don't get that romantic vibe with the person. I'll say keep him close, not necessarily date him, just keep him close



Y'all are allowed to read whatever meaning u want to this ^^

so in other words lead him on..... Thats wicked

bezimo:
Love doesnt sustain a relationship. If it were people wont divorce. Its wisdom that sustains a relationship.

you are dead wrong. Those who are getting divorced were never in love to start with

QTEST007:
My dear sister,by the time you are 32 and still single,then, u can come back and tell us how u feel.until then, continue in your ignorance/foolishness.

That doesn't mean she should settle for less. Besides this logic is outdated.

UndespicableMe:
Very close!

Men need to be cultured when it comes to exuding romance. It comes natural to ladies, but if a lady finds someone humble, willing to learn and God fearing then I say the sky is your limit. Keep him close sister!

Best comment so far

neoapocalypse:
Yet you contradict yourself

From your post you mentioned an obvious attraction has to there before anything can happen

My sister was never attracted to her husband initially , from your post you make it sound like once a girl talks to a man then there is attraction

My sister got married at the age of 24 immediately after service so she wasn't desperate.

She wasn't attracted to the guys money but I'll admit she was attracted to his looks and he was a smooth talker , he knows how to keep people captivated with his suave person. My parents saw beyond this.

No matter how you want to paint it. Your sister was attracted to something about who she married. You are not her, so do not speak for her.

LadyJul:
Seriously we gals don't know what we want...
we see sincere young men with good character...yet we still aren't attracted to Dem...but we get attracted to the bad guys who don't even give a fu*k abt us....we tend to friend zone the gud guys most times and date d bad players...I still don't understand why it's like dis for most gals

Nice one too

Nnemuka:
If you dont find him sexually attractive or imagine being in a romantic relationship pls dont marry him.
I believe he is a doctor, those ones are never appealing to me.

hehe! Seriously? Why dont doctors appeal you?

I hope you dont spoil the mind of my gf to be.

Eberex:
No matter how you want to paint it. Your sister was attracted to something about who she married. You are not her, so do not speak for her.

Go back to your post , you implied that since she was talking to him she was already attracted to him , put me in the clear with your analogy , you mean if she wasn't attracted to him she wouldn't even be friends with him ( or talk to him even if his best friend was dating her ) , which means we only make friends or talk to those we are attracted to.

Eberex:
the brother is not a stranger to her. He must have been someone who still get together with her and have conversations with. He wasn't a total stranger the way you are trying to paint him.

Nnemuka:
silly wizard..... Na yansh go kill you like your DP and not me. Onukwu

hahaha come gimme your yansh na make i chop am. e big reach the one way dey my dp?

neoapocalypse:
Go back to your post , you implied that since she was talking to him she was already attracted to him , put me in the clear with your analogy , you mean if she wasn't attracted to him she wouldn't even be friends with him ( or talk to him even if his best friend was dating her ) , which means we only make friends or talk to those we are attracted to.

Getting attracted to someone doesn't happen instant mind you. Most times poo happens unconsciously without you even knowing. This is when you believe its not possible to be attracted to such a person. Is it not possible that the lady's belief that she cannot get attracted to the guy was the very reason she couldn't identify what led her to now discover something about him? Whatever it is that made her get attracted to him must have been there all along, only she is too blind to see it.

jacksonite:
I take it you mean " be sleeping with him but don't marry him" Not a bad idea to me sha!

Ayam only responsible for what I say...how u choose to understand it is solely ur business

Eberex:
Getting attracted to someone doesn't happen instant mind you. Most times poo happens unconsciously without you even knowing. This is when you believe its not possible to be attracted to such a person. Is it not possible that the lady's belief that she cannot get attracted to the guy was the very reason she couldn't identify what led her to now discover something about him? Whatever it is that made her get attracted to him must have been there all along, only she is too blind to see it.

Who made this statement ?

Eberex:
So you know, when two people meet each other, there is first of all a physical attraction; i consider this the first thing on the list. Then comes compatibility; number two. If they find themselves compatible then they can go into being friends, that's where friendship comes in; number three.

This statement means before anything can be established there has to be a physical attraction. You said it not me.

Toks2008:
My candid advice for the ladies

I simply laugh at the naivety of some ladies who claim they are in search of a man who will truly love them and appreciate them.

Why i laugh is because deep inside these ladies,they know if a man truly desires and appreciates them but what they are actually looking for is totally different from what they claim.

I have heard many ladies set standards as regards the type of man they want and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that except the fact that they cross the line by wanting to be with a man they have strong feelings for and even if they meet a man that truly desires them,as long as they don't have feelings for such man,its a NO.

I'm sorry to tell you this truth; many ladies will end up been an object of ridicule in their affairs until they learn the fact that all you need is a man that will truly love,appreciate and value you and every other thing is secondary.

Don't be carried away by his money,looks or razzmatazz but be sensitive to know if he sincerely wants you and cherish you. If you are fortunate to have a prince charming who also truly desires you,good for you but never make this a must.

Yes i agree that your feelings towards this person is important but your marital happiness does not lie in what you feel for him rather its the way he feels towards you.

Of what use will it be if you end up marrying a man you are crazy about but will make you cry all the time?,Of what use will it be if you end up with that man that has all you want except the fact that he turns you to a punching bag or makes you unhappy?

Some ladies are actually fortunate to end up with man of their dreams but to be on the safer side,be sensitive to know if that man truly desires you because not every man that comes for your hand in marriage truly loves and cherishes you because many guys these days marry for selfish reasons.

Trust me,its better to be with a man who truly wants,desires,appreciates you than to end up with a man you want but does not really want you.

As a lady,you are genetically structured to naturally love a man that treats you well and a cute guy will turn ugly to you when he treats you like poo while that guy you felt nothing for will look so cute and adorable to you after he treats you like a queen so the best part is that you will fall in love in a short while with any man who truly shows you he cares even if he is a short fat ugly man.(watch beauty and the beast) and you will agree with me that all a woman needs is a man that will love and cherish her all the days of her life.

That is the man you need,and not necessarily the man you are crazy about because if a woman marries a man who truly loves and cherishes her,she is complete but if she marries a man she is crazy about but does not truly love and cherish her,she is finished.

Hope this helps

www.nairaland.com/2440267/costly-mistake-many-ladies-make

@ OP tell that lady to follow this write up, it matured and the best so far.

bronzegoddess:
soooo..if they say "bad guys raise ur hands", this pikin wey still dey suck bobi go follow raise hand

Nwokem siddon dia.
Don't quote me again abeg.

Sorry babe u are a fucking disgrace.
Women don't talk the way u do

Can the op tell us what physical attraction she was actually referring to. Was the guy ugly, short, smelly, rough or everything joined together. Or what precisely ?

shiinihost:
attraction mustn't be physical. Values and interests build stronger attraction than just physique. According to her, she says they have common interests and are very good friends. And since when has your husband turn to some trophy of sort?

Nwanne who are waaa.
I dey feel u badly.
Ride on sir