₦airaland Forum

Lolz Number 4 has happened na.....sometimes sef na man go dey ur front dey change style of dance,blocking u way....his body will be like,you must stand and look o

Number6 funny die

The moment when you have been looking for job for 7 years and Chevron is about to give you offer but you have to do HIV test and you went for the test on Saturday and was told to come for the result on monday and then on Sunday the Pastor was praying fervently every result you are expecting this week shall be positive

When you walked to a church in Lagos on Sunday and the pastor preaching was the one that did 2 hours.short time with you yesterday in Ibadan

When you are at your ex weding the one you did with more than 500 times and and had not less than 5 abortions and then during preaching the pastor was praising the girl that she is very decent and didn't spoil herself.

note all of them true life stories.

fattbabakay FTC

since 2013??


LALASTICLALA beht why??

When u're fast asleep and the Pastor says 'If u're sleeping shout Halleluyah'.... And u shouted Halleluyah


When u come for Alter call and u slept off while kneeing down in front of the church.

fattbabakay:
That awkward moment in church when:

You enter the church some minutes to the end of the service and all eyes fall on you.

They're singing a particular song which you don't even know it exists

Everyone is dancing as if there's a gift for it and you're the odd one out, standing like a vertical log of wood

You're to dance to the front to drop your offering and the person in front of you is engaging in an endless buttock-shaking Shoki dance, blocking your way forward

You're being tapped by the usher, telling you to stop sleeping, then you will be like "i no dey sleep na", with sleepy red eyes

The pastor asks you to look at your neighbour eyeball to eyeball and your neighbour has only one eye...You gats close one of ur eyes too.

Wen your pastor asks you to pray that you'll buy that house you're living in as a tenant IJN and your landlord is sitting next to u, winking at you.

When you're to drink the holy communion and it pours on your white cloth


When the pastor is pointing at someone at your back and everyone is looking at you

Wen sinners are asked to come to the front and the whole church is still seated, lookin 4 who will stand up 1st!!

When virgins are asked to come forward and your mum is sitting next to you, smiling with the confidence of what u are not


Add yours......

I don't like the violence amongst the Islamic faithful, but if there's anything I like about them its how the take issues that for worship serious. Guy be careful,the church is a prayers house not and not an observation theatre

Owliver:
the first day i went yo my friends church "kingsword" in Abeokuta in 2010

i went to my friend's place initially so remembered i was invited so decided to go. i was wearing a slightly faded polo and leather slippers and a jeans. i was directed to sit in front i agreed.

then the pastor started preaching about dressing and you know all this indomie generation churches na, people began to look around to check peoples dress. i almost died. guys were getting up adjusting their suits in style shouting "Alleluya. while the girls were clapping, me i just freeze for sit.

its awkward, annoying and disgraceful. since that experience i dey always wear Christmas cloth go that church.

near death experience

Yahoo Yahoo church

IamMissMarvel:
Why is it easy to comment on the Christian topics but when I want to comment on the Islam section I get a series of interrogation.

Why can anybody access the Christian topics but have to accept to be a Muslim before they can comment on the Islam topics?

Seun is trying to save Nairaland, because if ou comment anything there as a Christian, someone will open Nairaland on his/her Phone and detonate a bomb in a bid to kill all Nairalanders, only to discover him/her self in HELL. DEVIL go ask am say "Na only u waka come?"

kessiah:
Seun is trying to save Nairaland, because if ou comment anything there as a Christian, someone will open Nairaland on his/her Phone and detonate a bomb in a bid to kill all Nairalanders, only to discover him/her self in HELL. DEVIL go ask am say "Na only u waka come?"

But that is no ones business, is it?

That moment when the person sitting in your front ate a bucket of garlic before coming to church.

IamMissMarvel:
Why is it easy to comment on the Christian topics but when I want to comment on the Islam section I get a series of interrogation.

Why can anybody access the Christian topics but have to accept to be a Muslim before they can comment on the Islam topics?

Welcome to segregation 2.1.2, Nairaland version.

Th moment you perceive the pungent smell of fermented egg fart, you turn round and the lady beside you is giving you a quizzical look.

[color=#006600][/color]

IamMissMarvel:
Why is it easy to comment on the Christian topics but when I want to comment on the Islam section I get a series of interrogation.

Why can anybody access the Christian topics but have to accept to be a Muslim before they can comment on the Islam topics?

My dear the thing get as e bi o.
I don ask but nobody gree answer me.
I smell something fisheeeee

That moment when your pastor points at you and ask you"what was the theme of last week bible study?"..and the congregation is staring at you

so since 2013....beta tins r everywhere to make fp.....#spits .....daft moderators everywhere

ok, guilty of number 1

The awkward moment when during vigil a category of people which you fall under are called to kneel and pray before the alter and during prayer you fell asleep till after everyone has gone back to their seats and pastor has continued with his sermon only to wake up 2 hours later after when the service is about to end and the church is now filled to the brim

IamMissMarvel:
Why is it easy to comment on the Christian topics but when I want to comment on the Islam section I get a series of interrogation.

Why can anybody access the Christian topics but have to accept to be a Muslim before they can comment on the Islam topics?

because Christianity is light, light brings wramth, its welcoming n very simple. Every good thing has shades and r associated with light.
To be a Christian, all u need do, is accept Christ, that u have decided to live like, as ur Lord and savour n bliv u r saved! ...very simple


Evil things are difficult and associated with darkness. Darkness is shady and most evil things happen at night.

ALEXIS0240:
I don't like the violence amongst the Islamic faithful, but if there's anything I like about them its how the take issues that for worship serious. Guy be careful,the church is a prayers house not and not an observation theatre

gerrarahere ogbeni...I no get ur time

I recollect my most awkward moment in church. I was about 13/14 yrs old then, and I had gone for a midweek service, bible study or so. I was in a study group of about 20 people, but I was the only young one. Others were like above 25 at least. Omo before I know wetin happen, naah im we all begin perceive this very rotten mess. I haff neva smelt a mess like that in my whole life, chai. Before I no wassup, all of the people for the group begin look me, like say naah me mess, cos naah me small pass for the group. You could tell the message in their eyes, small brat with no manners, stupid child, them fit use dem eyes beat me sef etc...Omo that day, e b lyk say make ground swallow me, it was so embarrassing and I swear to God even up to today, no be me mess that mess....d brother or sister wey mess that mess I still dey wait ur confession oooo

which church?