hedonistic:


I think family in this case means one's nuclear family.. Your parents and your real brothers and sisters. Forget cousins or uncles and distant relatives...

zaza999:
Our company folded up and was closed down without payment of some months salary, let alone paying off. Since then it's not been easy financially and otherwise while seriously looking for job.

The one that surpises me is some friends' attitude since i am jobless.These are people when we were doing well in our office, we mingled together etc, but since the jobless saga started, many of them started disssociating themselves.They wont visit you as usual, they can't even give you a call, most time when you call them, they won't even pick your calls after seeing many missed calls from you on their phone but that wasn't the case when things were okay.

Telling them about helping you in search of jobs seems like a disturbance, many of them you will forward your cv to, will simply ignore making efforts while claiming as if they are doing anything on it. You will be seeing yourself as an abandoned fellow.The story is endless.

I begin to ask, are these as a result of wrong friends or normal thing. Advise or share your experience.

enm:
Someone rightly said earlier, everyone got problem.

Some broke up friends are the cause of why their friends dump them or stay away. Being broke is not licence to be demanding for assistance from your friends and expect them to always meet up with your demands, they too have issues to take care of.

I once have a friend who was always demanding. In his joblessness state he gave birth to another child and got his wife pregnant again. He has a second lady whom he intend making his second wife, an aged father and mother to take care of and here i am a bachelor at over 30 trying to settle down, and with my own financial responsibility. Even when you are complaining of cash crunch, he still expect you to attend to his need first.

During all this i always remember my father who was dump by his friends and relatives, people that he help at the detriment of his family. There are friends he single-handedly paid their house rent, went ahead to provide them feeding money for them and their family, fuelling their cars and so on but they deserted him when things changed and some where saying " what did he do with his money"

So before we critize our friends action let try and know where they are coming from. You will have friends who will want to help but their family first and some, is our attitude or reaction is what drove them away.

MadCow1:
OP..

Stop whining.. Its not personal.

Out of sight, out of mind. The moment you leave their line of sight, the less they see you. Its just natural.


Also your mindset awould make you see things that don't exist. You may be reading things that are not there. I have friends who are jobless that feel that because I am working and doing well I should be able to get them a job which in all honesty I cant. Not everybody who has a job has the ability to influence recruitment. Even those that work in H.R.

I hear a lot of anger and self pity in your post. I felt the same way too. I was just looking through my account statement a few minutes ago and was seeing transactions with colleagues from my old job that I have not even heard a word from ever since I left that job. They didn't even call to ask me how I was faring and stuff. I don't hold it against them, everybody is too busy trying to make a good life for themselves to be bothered with me.

However let me tell you about how I got my new job.. It was via recommendation by an old colleague who wasn't even that close to me sef then. But apparently, he was with his uncle who works in another company when their conversation got towards work and his uncle mentioned an availability for a job description that I used to do. He just mouthed off that he knew someone who did similar job in his company that just got laid off ad that's how I got a call out of nowhere from the guy saying to send my resume to his uncle. Till tomorrow its like a miracle of sorts because the person who did this for me was not my friend, just that guy that I would stop by his office to have some small talk with. I don't know his surname, never been to his house, never sat for drinks with him, never hung out with him. Just hang shakes and how are you sort of friend. I never even told him what I did nor do I know his job description either.

Basically, stop expecting too much from other people. Help will come when help comes. Maintain all friendships as best as you can as I believe good and bad friends have their uses.

Wishing you the best.

MrHighSea:
INVEST IN FAMILY-thats it. Evn my Dog z family. Well op, dnt ask anybdy a tin, tryna mek it symbiotic, hit d gym, ex ur gurl or she exes u, cut cost, EAT WELL, volunteer for stuff to kip u busy yl lookin for anoda, B OCUPIED.

yomi007k:
That's life Op.

During my sch days, I was into business but d global meltdown messed things up n I became broke. Even broker dan my gateman n dis lasted a long while.

ALL FRIENDS DESERTED ME.

It was then I learnt the true nature of human beings.
Alas, it was family support dat saved me till I cud get back on my feet.

Today, I invest in my family first n some ppl who I know have a pure heart.

......Don't worry, it's just a learning phase.

iyzeek:
FTC , first time ever . I feel your pain because I am presently wearing your shoe. Most people don't want to help because they want to feel superior , this goes down to some family members .

Debayurr:
OP pls and pls, do not confuse people who are always around you with people who are always there for you. BASIC, Family 1st. That's all

Tamakay:
Similar cases abound my brother. Having what you post in mind, I played a trick on some of my so called friends including my two years old date recently. The revelation I got was shocking. I pretended to them that I'm no longer working and I sustained the trick for three months. Guys...hmm they all ran away. The babe was the first to run.

arabianights:



boss..... thank god for your glory.May your enemies never see your tail lights

MadCow1:
OP..

Stop whining.. Its not personal.

Out of sight, out of mind. The moment you leave their line of sight, the less they see you. Its just natural.


Also your mindset awould make you see things that don't exist. You may be reading things that are not there. I have friends who are jobless that feel that because I am working and doing well I should be able to get them a job which in all honesty I cant. Not everybody who has a job has the ability to influence recruitment. Even those that work in H.R.

I hear a lot of anger and self pity in your post. I felt the same way too. I was just looking through my account statement a few minutes ago and was seeing transactions with colleagues from my old job that I have not even heard a word from ever since I left that job. They didn't even call to ask me how I was faring and stuff. I don't hold it against them, everybody is too busy trying to make a good life for themselves to be bothered with me.

However let me tell you about how I got my new job.. It was via recommendation by an old colleague who wasn't even that close to me sef then. But apparently, he was with his uncle who works in another company when their conversation got towards work and his uncle mentioned an availability for a job description that I used to do. He just mouthed off that he knew someone who did similar job in his company that just got laid off ad that's how I got a call out of nowhere from the guy saying to send my resume to his uncle. Till tomorrow its like a miracle of sorts because the person who did this for me was not my friend, just that guy that I would stop by his office to have some small talk with. I don't know his surname, never been to his house, never sat for drinks with him, never hung out with him. Just hang shakes and how are you sort of friend. I never even told him what I did nor do I know his job description either.

Basically, stop expecting too much from other people. Help will come when help comes. Maintain all friendships as best as you can as I believe good and bad friends have their uses.

Wishing you the best.

okooloyun1:
** Your friends avoid you as if you have ebola.
** You're always lonely as if you're the only one in this life.

4C2215131:

4. Those you put in hard times.

yomi007k:


Amen n u too bro

arabianights:



seriously !? ol boy ......................................hmmmm.please gist us further,wetin come happen when the bastard discovered say you dey kampe?

Tamakay:



The babe dey beg from all cylinders. All her female frnds don sabi my house. The one wey dey interest me now be say one don dey wan even overthrow her. Trust sharp man,I nor even gbadu her sef

arabianights:


i be chick but i flow more with men .all my friends are men and trust me i be hustla.
Me sef, i go soon hammer and when i do.........................my attitude to some people go make ice block feel like hot water,that is wayyyy warmer next to me.

zaza999:
Our company folded up and was closed down without payment of some months salary, let alone paying off. Since then it's not been easy financially and otherwise while seriously looking for job.

The one that surpises me is some friends' attitude since i am jobless.These are people when we were doing well in our office, we mingled together etc, but since the jobless saga started, many of them started disssociating themselves.They wont visit you as usual, they can't even give you a call, most time when you call them, they won't even pick your calls after seeing many missed calls from you on their phone but that wasn't the case when things were okay.

Telling them about helping you in search of jobs seems like a disturbance, many of them you will forward your cv to, will simply ignore making efforts while claiming as if they are doing anything on it. You will be seeing yourself as an abandoned fellow.The story is endless.

I begin to ask, are these as a result of wrong friends or normal thing. Advise or share your experience.