Yeah sometimes we feel lonely and abandoned when we are down but that's because we chose to. Like me, i don't expect too much from friends so that i don't get disappointed in them.
When i was about finishing my nysc, i was so disturbed concerning the aftermath of my nysc. With all my popularity, i had friends that were and are still working in the oil industry, i had a second thought about going to stay with them, cos i know what it will feel like 'another load' so i decided not to bug anybody with my own wahala. I had to go into marketing stuff 2 months before the close of my nysc and this kept me busy and made me to stop expecting much from people. only one of my guys working in chevron calling me and meeting me "A true friend and a brother for life, TIMZY Ogu " No time to even call friends who were doing great and i didn't feel their absence.
Lemme tell u something, whether you like it not, those guys u know that are big shots and are your friends, anytime u are down and u decide to call them, so many thinking/thoughts go through their minds when you are calling ' why is he disturbing me, he is calling me for cash, this guy get wahala, guy i no get time for you". And when you do that constantly, they start avoiding you. The bottom line is : get yourself busy and if you feel that u need to say hello to them, a text message will do and believe me, majority of them would prefer you sending them text.
And one thing you should know , after helping you out or picking your calls, they will discuss ur matter with their friends. so its better you keep your head high and earn the respect.

More reason why I really don't have or place much emphasis on making friends.

Family sure rocks my boat.

hedonistic:


I think family in this case means one's nuclear family.. Your parents and your real brothers and sisters. Forget cousins or uncles and distant relatives...

Family is not defined that way anymore.... Family is who you can stand for and can stand for you also. Can be your family, friend, stranger, whatsoever! ...
Now thats a family!
God bless us all.
God bless our country!

Tamakay:
Similar cases abound my brother. Having what you post in mind, I played a trick on some of my so called friends including my two years old date recently. The revelation I got was shocking. I pretended to them that I'm no longer working and I sustained the trick for three months. Guys...hmm they all ran away. The babe was the first to run.

Nice one sir ....Lool
To remove the goats from the sheeps!

daveP:
As much as il like to totally agree about this friend syndrome


those of you saying 'nothing like family' hope you know its hurts more, worse when what the OP is saying is done by your blood?

Lalasticlala, Fp o

nice one. My family is a turn in my flesh right now. Diff strokes for diff folks

OlayinkaM1:
They have said it all, even th some na lie just 4 them to belong to d convo

You know say Naija nor dey carry last ..Lool
Trust our people nah

Never rely on people,don't expect too much from them,"we are only human"...

marshalcarter:
Never forger 3 types of friend in life


1-those who were with you in hard times

2-those who put you in hard times

3-those who left you in hard times

[size=14pt]........4-those who brought you out of hard times![/size]

now you know you never truly had friends

I hate that word friend.. I will rather have a devil, than an unrealistic contraption called friend.


*In 2pac voice * F.u.CK FRIEND

Jesus is a friend you need... he is the only hope for the hopeless.

fix your eyes on Jesus. do not look at the storm. life goes on. help will come your way. ijn.

pomsky:


[size=14pt]........4-those who brought you out of hard times![/size]

2 bullets for you

dearpreye:
A very terrible situation, OP but that's life. When the chips are down, you're on you own.

In prosperity your friends know you. In adversity you know you friends.

Words on marble!

Thanks

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400billionman:
My bro or sis.

All humans are like that. Jesus was a popular preacher in his days and " the whole world moved after him ". So exclaimed the pharisees who were envious of his success at crowd pulling.

When he got arrested, everybody ran away including his personal body guards and disciples. He even told Peter, " You will deny me 3 times "..

Dear, look unto God, he alone cannot dissappoint you.

All you wrote would have been excellent but for one thing: saying Jesus had bodyguards.

Jesus had no bodyguards. Which Oga washes the feet of his bodyguards? Which oga eats on the same table, and the same food with his body guards? Which Oga wears the same clothes as his body guards? Today, you can easily point out all our GOs and Bishops amidst a crowd of praise-singing sycophantic worshippers and bodyguards. Do you know why it took Judas to point out who was actually Jesus? It is simply because they all dressed alike, ate together, had no class distinction and differentiation, which made it difficult for the Jews to identify who was actually Christ.

Get corrected, please!

4C2215131:


4. Those you put in hard times.

5. Those you left in hard times


Let's all stop being selfish n c tru our own short-comings 1st.

OP, keep ur head up......(in 3min3m's voice) dnt let nobody tell u u aint beautiful

kaboninc:


Words on marble!

Thanks

You're welcome brother. Where have you been? Happy to read from you once again.

I know this is actually not the right time for this buh your beautiful and Yahweh bless ur hustle

queenfav:
Uhhm...this same issue has been on my mind for days.Everyone that promised to help me with a job has certainly left me hanging.From uncles who stop taking your calls..To friends who ignore your bbm messages reminding them of their promise to help in the jon search.Or is ot employers who string you along maybe because they don't know how to tell you they can't hire you?I just told myself to stop pushing too hard.Its too early to be cynical and discouraged,but its not easy.The season of unemployment is something I would not wish on an enemy.Do you know how depressing it gets waking up with no plans for the day?As far as efforts goes,I have tried.I have called everyone I can think of.I am tired of having my so called friends pity me.The latest was someone from law sch telling me,"how come a whole you does not have a job?You were one of the best in our class na,how come?"I didn't know when I started crying.Its not an issue of poor result,nor not praying.Infact,I have been fasting to get a job with a good firm I can practice with.Abi na efforts?I started applying for jobs since august!Its october and I can't think of a law firm that I have not sent my cv to online.I try to encourage myself that this too shall pass!I even had to delete my facebook app because I am tired of people asking me "so where are you working?"In fact,now I get why many rich people become stingy.Because you don't know what they suffered to get to where they are.I am not even begging anyone for money o,just send out my cv,put in a good word.But no one can really do that.If there's anything I have learnt,its that nobody cares until you make it.How you make it,is solely your responsiblity!I know God will see me through this phase.I have decided to start work at a law firm that pays 15k.Its nothing but I figure with the way I get depressed and moody staying home,I may just become a nervous wreck if I don't get sth that takes me out of my house daily.That's my advice to anyone looking for a job.Get something to do to get your mind off things.Lately,I have been having insomnia,serious depression(that explains why I am active on nairaland) and can't even eat like I used to.I am tired rambling abeg.I hope for a better tommorrow.

Ndeewonu:


All you wrote would have been excellent but for one thing: saying Jesus had bodyguards.

Jesus had no bodyguards. Which Oga washes the feet of his bodyguards? Which oga eats on the same table, and the same food with his body guards? Which Oga wears the same clothes as his body guards? Today, you can easily point out all our GOs and Bishops amidst a crowd of praise-singing sycophantic worshippers and bodyguards. Do you know why it took Judas to point out who was actually Jesus? It is simply because they all dressed alike, ate together, had no class distinction and differentiation, which made it difficult for the Jews to identify who was actually Christ.

Get corrected, please!

It is normal for followers to protect their master.

It is in that light that i mentioned bodyguards, moreover Peter removed someones ears to prevent his arrest. The disciples mostly screened visitors who got to meet him. These things are evident in the scriptures..

OP, experience, they say, is the best teacher. But I believe it's the worst kind of a teacher.

What you're currently passing through was where exactly my dad was a few years after he lost his only source of income. Prior to that time, our home used to be filled to the brim with all sorts of unwanted and wanted visitors. My dad was literally solving almost everyone else's problems. In fact he wanted to take the place of Elshaddai. LOL. But when he lost his job, the grim reality that greeted him was so dim and deep that he steeped into a long period of depression. I played no little role in encouraging him to restart again. And today he's doing just fine, and won't spend a dine without a good reason. When he lost his job, like an ATM out of cash, his so called dearest folks abandoned him, refuse to pay back the debts they owed him, mocked at him and even extended that mockery to us the children. All those he used to hang around with were gone. No more friends. He was left alone to the stark reality that when the chips are down, you're on your own.

Once you're out of job, many folks see you as the newest burden and pest in town. Your phone number becomes disgusting to them. It's nature. It's human nature. The average Nigerian is burdened with their own challenges that they hardly have anytime to think or ponder about the challenges of others. But this is where the genuine friends come to play. Oftentimes we mistake those we always hangout as our friends. That's a grave mistake. Our friends are those who will stand by us, admonish us to save for the rainy days while we are working, criticise us for being financially wasteful and myopic. Again this is where emergency fund comes into play. At any point in time, as workers or employees, we OWE ourselves the duty to have a minimum of 6 months living expenses saved for the rainy day. Being temporarily out of job is one of those rainy days.

OP,this is another opportunity for you to evaluate yourself. It's a growing season. It's a learning season. It's another opportunity to prune and identity the true friends. It's yet a time to seek other means of survival. I feel your pain. Being jobless is a threat to our dignity, honour and peace of mind.

When the chips are down, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN!

This is a wakeup call to those who are employed and working. Save your money. Invest your money. Pursue Your own financial target. Stop trying to solve all of others problems; it's not your duty.

You will never know the value of money till you're out of job. Thank you.

Guy, you sound as if you're equally guilty this scenario as well when the going was good.
How come you know what your previous colleagues/friends were doing now without any benefit of the doubt?
Never mind.
May GOD give you a befitting source of income soonest.
Trust and rely on GOD only to avoid disappointment.

Best of luck.

Below is the code i live by and it has never failed me, and i think people should limit their expectations when it comes to man in other to avoid disappointment. I have never been wrong about those i labelled as potential bad friends,they always end up acting out my predictions about them. In a world filled with liars,pretenders and opportunists it realy pays to to be wise and observant. I never give out help to people and expect help from them in the future so i'm never disappointed when they say NO to me when i reach out for help. Apple or no apple man will always be man , i no even sure say e reach one month before adam and him babe come fall baba God hands and i think those bitching bout helping people and not receiving help back from them should STFU.....dem use gun force you to help them abi una sign any agreement saying they must help you? You got served in your own game you dull opportunist. I hate "Weta ishi were ishi".


Matthew 10:16
Behold , i send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves : be ye therefore wise as serpents , and harmless as doves.

aweezy001:

You know say Naija nor dey carry last ..Lool
Trust our people nah

Some pple will just be forming sha

dearpreye:


You're welcome brother. Where have you been? Happy to read from you once again.

I've been around bro.

I just don't comment as I used to do but am always around.

kaboninc:


I've been around bro.

I just don't comment as I used to do but am always around.

That's good shaa.....as far as you're OK.

I currently suffer d same thing and can relate with OP. Most distasteful is the fact that you could have done more for most of these desertee friends. Life is not tit for tat but sometimes, because of the sacrifice you put in for others, you expect you will at least get a recompense even in the least form.
However, what you get are insults and rejections that would be otherwise meted out to inanimate things as toxic waste.
My advice; Be strong and look ahead for better times, you've been on top before: know your enemies and your friends better so that when you bounce back, you can defend your space.
Some friends you reach out to for assistance will ridicule or belittle you, take note of them. Not for jealousy but for motivation.
No problem lasts forever, press buttons until there are no fingers nor buttons to press and you'd strike gold soon!

mykel231:
You're very myopic. As big as you are,you should know who your friends are.The truth is that those guys you call your friends aren't your friends;they are people willing to enjoy with you as long as it lasts.Also,friends value and respect you If you're wise,but they use and dump you like tissue paper when they realise you're a fool.In your case,you're a capital fool because your reasoning was very static when you had a job:you thought the job is your father's therefore it would last forever.If you had thought of the day you'll lose your job from the first day you got the job,you won't be complaining about your friends abandoning you.Use your tongue to count your teeth.It's your fault because you misplaced priority.In your next job,try to invest in your future before frolicking with fake friends!Thank me later.

You have a point, but you should have asked how much he was earning before the insult. Some people's salary are not savable.

sihom:
Lol - OP welcome to life and the real world. I was in the same situation once but I came through it a stronger and better person.

These valuable lessons helped me at the time and they continue to do so even now;

1. No one can change your life except you.

2. Everyone has problems and challenges of their own, do not expect anyone to take panadol for your headache.

3. Success in this life is your personal responsibility (Zainab) do not put it on anyone.

No 3 is my favourite personal mantra I chant it on a regular basis to keep me focused, motivated and reliant on myself (and Heaven as well)

While friends may come across as insensitive and uncaring in our trying times, we have a responsibility to fight for our lives, pull ourselves up and get it together, regardless.

My experience was a good thing for me because it reinforced my sense of self sufficiency & independence.

It also helped me to identify my fair & foul weather friends. Suck it up OP hopefully this will be a good experience for you as well.

[color=#000099][/color]

It is God that reveals our enemies (those that do not sincerely wish us well) to us. A good number of times it is those who we deem close that turn out to be far when events of life take center stage.

arabianights:



Family first..........................its relative, boss. trust me.some families desert their loved ones also but thank god for the op and all those whose families stood by them.

Like seriously..in this context am talking about ur immediate nuclear family(Dad,Mum nd siblings of same parents)...Do we still have those who's nuclear family even desert them in times like this?that's completely insane o..except I don't get the point you're making

Am currently passing thru same situation as the op. Worked in a company that was liquidated and our salaries and payoff weren't paid. It's being tough having to take care of a wife and 2 kids. My brothers and cousins who used to call me for help all abandoned me. They don't even call and am not bothered. I have done all sorts of jobs - even security job just to take care of my kids. I have made up my mind to fight alone and I MUST win alone.

Debayurr:
Like seriously..in this context am talking about ur immediate nuclear family(Dad,Mum nd siblings of same parents)...Do we still have those who's nuclear family even desert them in times like this?that's completely insane o..except I don't get the point you're making

boss, i know of a lot of nuclear families that sibling rivalry, eny etc is soo much that they dont wish themselves luck or asist each other.People claim blood is thicker than water, in waht sense ? i beleive has to to with you as an individual as some people are more of blood relatives than even the blood .

If one is blessed with a supportive nuclear family, then they need to be very grateful