₦airaland Forum

shndy:
They are both very good friends of mine, their trouble started few months after their wedding.
When they got married they both had plans to wait like a year before raising kids. Then d wife made d mistake of telling her MIL about d plan and we know how naija mamas are, immediately after wedding they want to c u preggy.
So d mother with d husband's sister instigated d wife and schemed with her to get pregnant without telling him.
She got pregnant and didnt tell her husband till 2months later, when she told him he first thought it was a mistake so he begged her to abort but she insistently told him she's keeping it. D husband kneeled n begged countless times, this isn't d kind of life he planned for his family especially his kids, he just wants to be more balanced but d wife with d backing of d husband's family insisted it's for keep. They all blamed him he should have used a condom if he's not ready, this hurt him more cos he believed d wife was on d pills.
This issue caused a lot of ruckus and later d husband had no choice but to accept as he still love d wife.
Little did we know something has snapped in him that'll torture d wife for months to come.
He started philandering and on two occasions has even slept outside.
D wife has apologised countless times, they'll settle it,move on, only for him to go cheat again.
He told her he can never trust her again, and he's even doubting her love for him, she don't care all she wants is a baby.
D wife has since regretted her action but d husband see her differently now.
Will he ever forgive her totally? Is there some advices u can give d wife pls

Happens when kids marry, when one marries because others are getting married.

prettysassygirl:
useless man,looking for excuse to cheat since,ode buruku,oloshi omo.empty coccnut husband.

Pretend to have some class.

That nigga has always wanted to cheat. What a flimsy excuse!

veave:
I understand what you saying ma. However, I'd not agree to get married and wait. I see children everywhere and I just want to grab one like it's mine... can't wait to start a family honestly. I hear it's not easy but na my mates dey dia. Make I join them make we do the experience together...

Hehe e go clear for una eye when you have to make a decision between your kids expensive excursion fee or that very cheap acres of land in shangisha.

veave:
I understand what you saying ma. However, I'd not agree to get married and wait. I see children everywhere and I just want to grab one like it's mine... can't wait to start a family honestly. I hear it's not easy but na my mates dey dia. Make I join them make we do the experience together...

Your eyes have not cleared. You sound like this guy's wife.Because you are rushing blindly into something that will overwhelm you and like most Nigerians, are expecting positive outcome from lack of planning.

Sorry for insulting you it was this comment you made that made me angry. oya let me explain

Your baby needs to be weaned so you bring out formula and a bottle. Your child starts to scream because the affordable FrisoGold (N2500 per can) and made-in-china bottle you bought him and only wants Aptamil (N5500 per can) and Tommy Tippee bottle (N1190 per bottle). Until you buy the right formula and bottle, he insists you breastfeed him and so you find yourself awake every 2 hours (12am, 2am,3.45am...and by the way, he has to be held asleep pr he wakes himself up) like so until you get him what he is satisfied with. He finishes that can every month and poops through N10,000 monthly of disposable diapers happily. But guess what, most Nigerian men will not lie down beside you and help you carry the baby at night, they will sleep in the parlour and leave you to do it all by yourself and still go to work the next day, after having slept 4 hours in a 24 hour cycle. And the toll such behaviour and that baby will take on your marriage, your husband (a typical Naija man) will start hanging out at the viewing centre on weekends to avoid a screaming baby and you will one day cry yourself to sleep because you are so tired YOU CANNOT EVEN SLEEP. And we have not called Immunization money, doctor money, creche money, clothing money...

And that is the behaviour of a NORMAL baby. And you want this so badly because "your mates dey dia".

Nigerian people are not honest, they will never paint a clear picture because Misery loves Company.

This man's wife is a slowpoke. Two came together as One and made a plan as a team, he probably took his time to explain everything: maybe they need a cheap plot of land to build a block of flats to rent out and increase their income, maybe start a business, maybe get to know each other better in marriage (because children are the most dividing thing in marriage). Yet this idiotic wife of his went to listen to MiL and SiL (who will conveniently disappear when she needs someons to help her carry baby so she can go to market or will start grumbling that she should back the baby and go to market herself)decided to take their advice and deceitfully pull this stunt on her husband.

What next, they will plan another thing and the landlord's wife and the pepper-seller she calls "auntie" will convince her to go behind his back??

She screwed up royally and he is deliberately punishing her. She should go and beg, yes beg, and swear to never break any agreement they both come to. And delete all numbers till she is sure her stvpidity will not allow one friend from Primary School and that Uncle that never talks to her unless he wants something to sway her once she has taken a decision involving her marriage.

veave:
Why do people marry then want to wait for a period of time before giving birth. Eh op?...



Both you and your husband should have as well stayed apart until you are both financially okay before getting married.

Why Marry then start waiting?



Two of una sef no serious....





Mei kunu!!! Mei kunu!!!!....


Kawo mun kwalba daya zem sha...

my brother..me self tire oh.
i smell the guy was pressurized to marry, probably the wife instigated the wedding to happen ASAP.
Cos i see no reason why he married voluntarily then plan to wait till after a year when things balance. what if things didnt balance as planned...what nxt?
THE BOTTOM LINE IS THEM FORCE THE MARRIAGE. ON THE GUY.

Why is it so hard for us to understand that married people can decide to wait a while before having kids?

its not that big a deal. Folks do it.

EfemenaXY:
How does conniving to have a kid translate into being 'evil'?

e·vil/ˈēvəl/
adjective
profoundly immoral and malevolent.
noun
profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity, especially when regarded as a supernatural force.


@efe, u of all pple knw this. Isn't it evil enough that 2 or more women gathered to wreck / cause havoc in another man's home ? A man agrees with wife and the evil perpertrators took to work

cococandy:
Why is it so hard for us to understand that married people can decide to wait a while before having kids?

its not that big a deal. Folks do it.

Because it's an interfering society. A society where outsiders deem it's their God-given rights to poke nose into matters that don't concern them in the least - especially marriages / one's marital status.

@Onegai - well said (about the @op/ wife). You know what gets me the most? People hardly able to eke a living for themselves, living in slap-me-I-slap you apartments, choosing to birth kids they can't look after under the mantra, "God will provide". This isn't even poor planning. It's no planning.

Onegai:
Your eyes have not cleared. You sound like this guy's wife.Because you are rushing blindly into something that will overwhelm you and like most Nigerians, are expecting positive outcome from lack of planning.

Sorry for insulting you it was this comment you made that made me angry. oya let me explain

Your baby needs to be weaned so you bring out formula and a bottle. Your child starts to scream because the affordable FrisoGold (N2500 per can) and made-in-china bottle you bought him and only wants Aptamil (N5500 per can) and Tommy Tippee bottle (N1190 per bottle). Until you buy the right formula and bottle, he insists you breastfeed him and so you find yourself awake every 2 hours (12am, 2am,3.45am...and by the way, he has to be held asleep pr he wakes himself up) like so until you get him what he is satisfied with. He finishes that can every month and poops through N10,000 monthly of disposable diapers happily. But guess what, most Nigerian men will not lie down beside you and help you carry the baby at night, they will sleep in the parlour and leave you to do it all by yourself and still go to work the next day, after having slept 4 hours in a 24 hour cycle. And the toll such behaviour and that baby will take on your marriage, your husband (a typical Naija man) will start hanging out at the viewing centre on weekends to avoid a screaming baby and you will one day cry yourself to sleep because you are so tired YOU CANNOT EVEN SLEEP. And we have not called Immunization money, doctor money, creche money, clothing money...

And that is the behaviour of a NORMAL baby. And you want this so badly because "your mates dey dia".

Nigerian people are not honest, they will never paint a clear picture because Misery loves Company.

This man's wife is a slowpoke. Two came together as One and made a plan as a team, he probably took his time to explain everything: maybe they need a cheap plot of land to build a block of flats to rent out and increase their income, maybe start a business, maybe get to know each other better in marriage (because children are the most dividing thing in marriage). Yet this idiotic wife of his went to listen to MiL and SiL (who will conveniently disappear when she needs someons to help her carry baby so she can go to market or will start grumbling that she should back the baby and go to market herself)decided to take their advice and deceitfully pull this stunt on her husband.

What next, they will plan another thing and the landlord's wife and the pepper-seller she calls "auntie" will convince her to go behind his back??

She screwed up royally and he is deliberately punishing her. She should go and beg, yes beg, and swear to never break any agreement they both come to. And delete all numbers till she is sure her stvpidity will not allow one friend from Primary School and that Uncle that never talks to her unless he wants something to sway her once she has taken a decision involving her marriage.

Madam.... you calling me a slow poke.... I see you really want trouble. I'm in a very good mood this season. God has been extra good to me... I give today for you and any other person as dash

DonTim1:
e·vil/ˈēvəl/
adjective
profoundly immoral and malevolent.
noun
profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity, especially when regarded as a supernatural force.


@efe, u of all pple knw this. Isn't it evil enough that 2 or more women gathered to wreck havoc in another man's home ? A mees with wife and the evil perpertrators took to work

I din't ask you to copy and paste the definition of 'evil' on here for me. I asked you how scheming to have a child constitutes being 'evil'. Or are you indirectly implying that kids are evil?

EfemenaXY:
I din't ask you to copy and paste the definition of 'evil' on here for me. I asked you how scheming to have a child constitutes being 'evil'. Or are you indirectly implying that kids are evil?

U cldnt posible want to, thw truth lies above staring u in d face.
Dnt bother qouting me agn

veave:
Madam.... you calling me a slow poke.... I see you really want trouble. I'm in a very good mood this season. God has been extra good to me... I give today for you and any other person as dash

No no no veave dear, she's referring to the wife. And NL autocorrect shait is not helping too. No vex. (((Hugs)))

Onegai... I love that 3rd paragraph analysis die

EfemenaXY:
I din't ask you to copy and paste the definition of 'evil' on here for me. I asked you how scheming to have a child constitutes being 'evil'. Or are you indirectly implying that kids are evil?

U cldnt posibly want to, thw truth lies above staring u in d face.
Dnt bother qouting me agn

DonTim1:
U cldnt posible want to, thw truth lies above staring u in d face.
Dnt bother qouting me agn

I couldn't possibly want to what? What truth?

You should be able to explain you comments. And I quote whoever I want.

EfemenaXY:
Because it's an interfering society. A society where outsiders deem it's their God-given rights to poke nose into matters that don't concern them in the least - especially marriages / one's marital status.

@Onegai - well said (about the @op/ wife). You know what gets me the most? People hardly able to eke a living for themselves, living in slap-me-I-slap you apartments, choosing to birth kids they can't look after under the mantra, "God will provide". This isn't even poor planning. It's no planning.

Ahswear. Even me that I waited till I was old enough and had some finances and had small experience with kids, was still blindsided by having my own child. Talk less of if hubby and I had planned to wait then outsiders convinced me to con him

Onegai:
Ahswear. Even me that I waited till I was old enough and had some finances and had small experience with kids, was still blindsided by having my own child. Talk less of if hubby and I had planned to wait then outsiders convinced me to con him

You know, they say hindsight is a beautiful thing.

If I'd known what I know now, I would have waited maybe two or three years after marriage before having kids. What really was the rush? Even away from the Nigerian society, the mentality still sits with you. Gosh, I always wanted to travel to the North pole. Visit the Ice Hotel and the Sahara.

EfemenaXY:
You know, they say hindsight is a beautiful thing.

If I'd known what I know now, I would have waited maybe two or three years after marriage before having kids. What really was the rush? Even away from the Nigerian society, the mentality still sits with you. Gosh, I always wanted to travel to the North pole. Visit the Ice Hotel and the Sahara.

You can still do it.

Mindfulness:
You can still do it.

Indeed I can - but it's a lot more 'complicated' now.

EfemenaXY:
Indeed I can - but it's a lot more 'complicated' now.

I know but still possible. I will call you up one day and we will go together.

Mindfulness:
You can still do it.

You can still do it. It's just that you have to find a way to put the baby down long enough to take a bath. Let's start from there.

Your life is not complete until you are peeing and holding your baby in resigned sorrow or wondering why 2 sessions of Immunization at a private clinic costs N81, 000 (I mean you can book one night's stay at a hotel for that amount) you need to see the number of flashy cars that queue up at Local Govt in order to get free immunizations

Onegai:
Your eyes have not cleared. You sound like this guy's wife.Because you are rushing blindly into something that will overwhelm you and like most Nigerians, are expecting positive outcome from lack of planning.

Sorry for insulting you it was this comment you made that made me angry. oya let me explain

Your baby needs to be weaned so you bring out formula and a bottle. Your child starts to scream because the affordable FrisoGold (N2500 per can) and made-in-china bottle you bought him and only wants Aptamil (N5500 per can) and Tommy Tippee bottle (N1190 per bottle). Until you buy the right formula and bottle, he insists you breastfeed him and so you find yourself awake every 2 hours (12am, 2am,3.45am...and by the way, he has to be held asleep pr he wakes himself up) like so until you get him what he is satisfied with. He finishes that can every month and poops through N10,000 monthly of disposable diapers happily. But guess what, most Nigerian men will not lie down beside you and help you carry the baby at night, they will sleep in the parlour and leave you to do it all by yourself and still go to work the next day, after having slept 4 hours in a 24 hour cycle. And the toll such behaviour and that baby will take on your marriage, your husband (a typical Naija man) will start hanging out at the viewing centre on weekends to avoid a screaming baby and you will one day cry yourself to sleep because you are so tired YOU CANNOT EVEN SLEEP. And we have not called Immunization money, doctor money, creche money, clothing money...

And that is the behaviour of a NORMAL baby. And you want this so badly because "your mates dey dia".

Nigerian people are not honest, they will never paint a clear picture because Misery loves Company.

This man's wife is a slowpoke. Two came together as One and made a plan as a team, he probably took his time to explain everything: maybe they need a cheap plot of land to build a block of flats to rent out and increase their income, maybe start a business, maybe get to know each other better in marriage (because children are the most dividing thing in marriage). Yet this idiotic wife of his went to listen to MiL and SiL (who will conveniently disappear when she needs someons to help her carry baby so she can go to market or will start grumbling that she should back the baby and go to market herself)decided to take their advice and deceitfully pull this stunt on her husband.

What next, they will plan another thing and the landlord's wife and the pepper-seller she calls "auntie" will convince her to go behind his back??

She screwed up royally and he is deliberately punishing her. She should go and beg, yes beg, and swear to never break any agreement they both come to. And delete all numbers till she is sure her stvpidity will not allow one friend from Primary School and that Uncle that never talks to her unless he wants something to sway her once she has taken a decision involving her marriage.

Very well said.

Now where is the crew that claims that a woman's biggest and only fulfillment and happiness in life are marriage and kids?

Mindfulness:
I know but still possible. I will call you up one day and we will go together.

Now that would be superb

Onegai:
You can still do it. It's just that you have to find a way to put the baby down long enough to take a bath. Let's start from there.

Your life is not complete until you are peeing and holding your baby in resigned sorrow or wondering why 2 sessions of Immunization at a private clinic costs N81, 000 (I mean you can book one night's stay at a hotel for that amount) you need to see the number of flashy cars that queue up at Local Govt in order to get free immunizations

I know. I was just thinking that she shouldn't give up on her dreams. She deserves to live them. The kids will grow up eventually.
I am totally with you on this and I can perfectly understand why some people do not want to have children at all. Everything has its pros and cons in life.

EfemenaXY:
Now that would be superb

It will.

Onegai:
You can still do it. It's just that you have to find a way to put the baby down long enough to take a bath. Let's start from there.

Your life is not complete until you are peeing and holding your baby in resigned sorrow or wondering why 2 sessions of Immunization at a private clinic costs N81, 000 (I mean you can book one night's stay at a hotel for that amount) you need to see the number of flashy cars that queue up at Local Govt in order to get free immunizations

Lmao!

Ma'am. You are so cynical!

Mindfulness:
It will.

Lol! I never had you down as the adventurous type. You're full of surprises.

Mindfulness:
I know. I was just thinking that she shouldn't give up on her dreams. She deserves to live them. The kids will grow up eventually.
I am totally with you on this and I can perfectly understand why some people do not want to have children at all. Everything has its pros and cons in life.

Do you know I met a couple who have been married 7 years and do NOT want kids? Nothing wrong with them but they simply don't want kids. The pressure from living in Naija society with that mentality must be crazy...

Onegai:
Your eyes have not cleared. You sound like this guy's wife.Because you are rushing blindly into something that will overwhelm you and like most Nigerians, are expecting positive outcome from lack of planning.

Sorry for insulting you it was this comment you made that made me angry. oya let me explain

Your baby needs to be weaned so you bring out formula and a bottle. Your child starts to scream because the affordable FrisoGold (N2500 per can) and made-in-china bottle you bought him and only wants Aptamil (N5500 per can) and Tommy Tippee bottle (N1190 per bottle). Until you buy the right formula and bottle, he insists you breastfeed him and so you find yourself awake every 2 hours (12am, 2am,3.45am...and by the way, he has to be held asleep pr he wakes himself up) like so until you get him what he is satisfied with. He finishes that can every month and poops through N10,000 monthly of disposable diapers happily. But guess what, most Nigerian men will not lie down beside you and help you carry the baby at night, they will sleep in the parlour and leave you to do it all by yourself and still go to work the next day, after having slept 4 hours in a 24 hour cycle. And the toll such behaviour and that baby will take on your marriage, your husband (a typical Naija man) will start hanging out at the viewing centre on weekends to avoid a screaming baby and you will one day cry yourself to sleep because you are so tired YOU CANNOT EVEN SLEEP. And we have not called Immunization money, doctor money, creche money, clothing money...

And that is the behaviour of a NORMAL baby. And you want this so badly because "your mates dey dia".

Nigerian people are not honest, they will never paint a clear picture because Misery loves Company.

This man's wife is a slowpoke. Two came together as One and made a plan as a team, he probably took his time to explain everything: maybe they need a cheap plot of land to build a block of flats to rent out and increase their income, maybe start a business, maybe get to know each other better in marriage (because children are the most dividing thing in marriage). Yet this idiotic wife of his went to listen to MiL and SiL (who will conveniently disappear when she needs someons to help her carry baby so she can go to market or will start grumbling that she should back the baby and go to market herself)decided to take their advice and deceitfully pull this stunt on her husband.

What next, they will plan another thing and the landlord's wife and the pepper-seller she calls "auntie" will convince her to go behind his back??

She screwed up royally and he is deliberately punishing her. She should go and beg, yes beg, and swear to never break any agreement they both come to. And delete all numbers till she is sure her stvpidity will not allow one friend from Primary School and that Uncle that never talks to her unless he wants something to sway her once she has taken a decision involving her marriage.

Pls ma, u shud come online more often to enlighten ds ppl.


The world needs ppl like u

EfemenaXY:
Lol! I never had you down as the adventurous type. You're full of surprises.

Adventurous, wild and crazy. FUN!

By the way, why is it that I feel like I can and want to work more on Fridays but hate the thought of it on Sundays?

yomi007k:
Pls ma, u shud come online more often to enlighten ds ppl.


The world needs ppl like u

SECONDED!

Onegai:
Do you know I met a couple who have been married 7 years and do NOT want kids? Nothing wrong with them but they simply don't want kids. The pressure from living in Naija society with that mentality must be crazy...

I know such couples here in Europe and nobody makes a fuss about it but in Nigeria? No way! I love people who dare to be different. I can imagine they are happy enough with themselves so they don't bother.