₦airaland Forum

suzzy16:
yeah,seriously

ugojohnlittle:
Thank you so much for this advice, my family once arranged a muslim guy for me who already brought things to marry me but I eloped. He wasn't educated and my siblings supported me, they said I should be allowed to make my choice.
I have convinced my parents that I can't marry this guy and that I dont love him, my mom says that love will grow and the only thing they are using against me is that I brought this one myself...so why will I change my mind. That I am spiritually possessed.


I have never felt this in love with anyone, I once travelled out of town to forget him, but I just can't. It is not working. We are obsessed with each other and I know he would have been with me if we met earlier .

I work in a Promasidor key distributor's office and I also have a HND from Kwara Poly.

gunners160:
COULD THIS BE LOVE?the answer is a big "NO" and it will never be love.First and foremost,I will like you to know that there is no crime in falling in love but that does not mean 1 should not think with his/her brains.
The first guy you dated played a mind game on you because he saw your weakness and he used it against you.first,he knows very well he can't get married to you because you are a muslim so he told you the truth knowing fully well you won't break up with him thereby in future when the lady he really wants to get married to should come you won't have anythng to say or accuse him of cheating because he told you beforehand that he has some1 he wants to get married.
Secondly,When he knew you wr about to get married to some1else he pretended to be heartbroken and also pushed the blame on you. Funny enough he himself has some1else he wants to get married to by Febuary and funny enough it really worked on you to the extent you went ahead trying to kill yourself forgeting that "nobody is indispensable".
For the second guy,he is a complete pretender. Yes,"A pretender.
1.He knows you are seeing anoda guy yet he does not care pls tell me which guy will see his fiancee dating anoda guy and will be comfortable with it?
2.He knew you are pregnant 4 sum1else and he mumulishly wants to be d fada do you think it is ordinary
3.You dnt knw anything abt him ask yourself "why".The answer is because he pretends and dnt want you to know about him.
4 He has no job and staying with is parents pls tell me where wuld u be sleeping if he gets married to you?or how is he going to fed you?.Lastly,he is imature and reports to your family every time wo trying to handle things himself.
SOLUTION: PLS,TAKE YOUR TIME AND DNT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE BECOS YOU WILL RUSH OUT. TRY AND LOOK 4 ANODA JOB ELSEWHERE AS THIS WILL GIVE YOU TIME TO USE YOUR BRAINS AND NOT YOUR HEART WHEN DEALING WITH RLSHP ISSUES.THE SECOND GUY HAS 3 OPTIONS TO MARRY ANODA WOMAN IF HE ENDS UP MARRYING YOU AND D RLSHP IS NOT BRINGING FORTH ANYTHNG TANGIBLE. . FURTHERMORE IT IS NO TO LATE TO CANCEL YOUR MARRIAGE DATE WITH DIS GUY AT LEAST,IT IS BETA DAN LIVING IN BONDAGE 4 D REST OF UR LIFE. FINALLY,DNT KARE ABOUT HOW TO FACE YOUR FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH U HAVE BOASTED ABOUT DIS GUY. THEY WILL SURELY TALK BUT 1 THNG 4 SURE IS DAT THEY WILL KIP QUIET WHEN THEY ARE TIRED OF TALKING!

ugojohnlittle:
Good morning all,
I am a 27year old lady. I went into a relationship with a young Ikwerre guy exactly a year ago, he is 31 years old and works in an oil servicing firm here in Port Harcourt, we grew so in love with each other but there were two problems.
First; I am a Muslim while he is a Christian, and the second being being that he told me when we began our relationship that he was already engaged to a lady who was doing her masters in Scotland.
I was devastated at first, but he was just so nice and our compatibility was like no other, I just couldn't afford to lose him so we continued our relationship despite pressure from friends and family to leave him because of his religion.(no one knows of his relationship status) we still stuck together and like no man I've known, he was completely faithful to me.
Around July this year, his girlfriend came back from Scotland and visited, he told me when she got in and even told me when she'd be visiting.
He promised me that things won't change, the only thing being I couldn't visit him at home..to make up for this, he came straight to spend time with me once he closed from work and then will go home to her. I was really heartbroken then staying at home imagining what may have been going on with them. It was even worse when I called sometimes and he would not pick but will return the call later or in the morning.
She spent a week and went back to Calabar as she works with a Strategic Consultancy firm there. My boyfriend came back and told me to please understand that his heart truly belongs with me and that no one can take my place.
I however discovered from him that she came to conclude their marriage plans and that they were getting married in February 2016. I wanted to die, the thought of losing him was so painful, I was heartbroken and needed someone to cry to. He was with me all through this trying times assuring me that he'd forever be there for me and adviced me to take things easy.

All the while there was this guy that has been pestering me on whatsapp that he was crazy about me, begging me to give him a chance. I had always told him unequivocally that I was in love and in a relationship with someone else and warned him never to call me again
This guy does not have a job, he is a petty soft drink retailer, a devout muslim and acts extremely timid and naive he has a HND in engineering. I told him I was not interested and he said I should give him a chance.
I then told him never to call me that if he was serious he should come and meet my family.
The next day he was in my house with his people that he wanted to marry me.
My parents accepted him as they wanted me to break up with the Christian. He said he wanted to perform the islamic traditional rites by that weekend and I said no way. My whole relatives and friends begged me to accept him.
But my only reason for this was that I didn't know how to face my friends if they learnt that my boyfriend who I boasted was the best in the world married someone else. So I wanted to marry before he did.
I told the muslim guy that I did not love him and confessed to him that I was pregnant for my boyfriend, he said he didn't mind, that he will claim the pregnancy, he has also said he will not even hug me till our wedding night. I have aborted the baby as I took some drugs that made me bleed, my boyfriend wants me to keep the baby but we were cared that the drugs I took without his consent might affect the foetus or cause complications as the pregnancy progressed...the muslim guy does not know this

I do not know anything about him, I just know he still stays with his parents, and sisters and even has a sister who is back home from a failed marriage.

There are a few fishy signs, he said he broke up with his ex and changed his lines because of her, that I consider as being callous,
He also said his mom always disapproves of his choice of women but that she accepted me because of my calm disposition..but i am not calm, I am very opinionated and temperamental when you get to really know me. So it means his parents are domineering.
Whenever I don't take his call or tell him not to come see me, he calls all my family members reporting me.

I did not tell my boyfriend what happened and told him I wanted to let him move on, he probed further and I told him that someone had come for my hand in marriage.
He was really heartbroken that I stabbed him at the back, he said why did I not carry him along afterall he was always there for me. He was so heart broken and I felt so guilty, he said he will let me follow my heart and that he was hurt that I did not love him unconditionally. I begged him not to and almost killed myself when he told me to go my way.
We however made up and he started rationalizing it, telling me not to get married out of condition or compulsion. That my only fear was that I would share him with another lady but if I rushed into marriage, that the guy had the option to marry 3 more wives if it was not working with me and I will be stuck with my fear of forever sharing my man.

My boyfriend and his friends have begged me not to rush in to a marriage with some one I don't love but we have fixed the marriage date for December 4th this year.
I do not love him at all and he knows I am still seeing my boyfriend, he says that love will grow that he will let me do whatever I want to.
My boyfriend wants to prevent me from making this mistake according to him and is trying to get me a job away from here so I can relocate and clear my head. He says he loves me selflessly and will not allow me go into an unhappy family.
This other guy said if we get married and I get a job he will allow me relocate.
Please advice me what to do as I know I will forever love my boyfriend and this other guy is acting too suspicious.

Could this be love, what do I do now?

Oliviaarims:
@OP,I'm sorry yhu got urself into this kind of situation... So far,from ur story,the only wise decision yhu made was terminating that pregnancy, even though it's unethical. First of all,I can't fathom why a girl will willingly make herself a side chic,don't u love urself? Stop competing with that man's Scotland fiancée, u don't stand a chance. That man's just been using u,he won't marry u..at best,he'd turn u into a mistress. Do u want that? U wantu break a home?

U better start thinking 'bout severing all ties u av with him. Forget but the money he might have. As 4 the Muslim guy,he seems to me like an opportunist. Plus,u might be right about his fishy dealings. Marrying somebody u know u'd never love is stupidity. What's in it 4 u? 4 now,he can't adequately take care of ur needs as a wife. BTW,are u gainfully employed?

Don't allow the fact that u're 27 to coax u into making a terrible mistake. A bad marriage is hell! Take ur time and start all over again and be careful not to make silly mistakes again.

Ur family should not pressure u into doing anything. U're old enough to make decisions for yourself. Good luck to u.

gunners160:
COULD THIS BE LOVE?the answer is a big "NO" and it will never be love.First and foremost,I will like you to know that there is no crime in falling in love but that does not mean 1 should not think with his/her brains.
The first guy you dated played a mind game on you because he saw your weakness and he used it against you.first,he knows very well he can't get married to you because you are a muslim so he told you the truth knowing fully well you won't break up with him thereby in future when the lady he really wants to get married to should come you won't have anythng to say or accuse him of cheating because he told you beforehand that he has some1 he wants to get married.
Secondly,When he knew you wr about to get married to some1else he pretended to be heartbroken and also pushed the blame on you. Funny enough he himself has some1else he wants to get married to by Febuary and funny enough it really worked on you to the extent you went ahead trying to kill yourself forgeting that "nobody is indispensable".
For the second guy,he is a complete pretender. Yes,"A pretender.
1.He knows you are seeing anoda guy yet he does not care pls tell me which guy will see his fiancee dating anoda guy and will be comfortable with it?
2.He knew you are pregnant 4 sum1else and he mumulishly wants to be d fada do you think it is ordinary
3.You dnt knw anything abt him ask yourself "why".The answer is because he pretends and dnt want you to know about him.
4 He has no job and staying with is parents pls tell me where wuld u be sleeping if he gets married to you?or how is he going to fed you?.Lastly,he is imature and reports to your family every time wo trying to handle things himself.
SOLUTION: PLS,TAKE YOUR TIME AND DNT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE BECOS YOU WILL RUSH OUT. TRY AND LOOK 4 ANODA JOB ELSEWHERE AS THIS WILL GIVE YOU TIME TO USE YOUR BRAINS AND NOT YOUR HEART WHEN DEALING WITH RLSHP ISSUES.THE SECOND GUY HAS 3 OPTIONS TO MARRY ANODA WOMAN IF HE ENDS UP MARRYING YOU AND D RLSHP IS NOT BRINGING FORTH ANYTHNG TANGIBLE. . FURTHERMORE IT IS NO TO LATE TO CANCEL YOUR MARRIAGE DATE WITH DIS GUY AT LEAST,IT IS BETA DAN LIVING IN BONDAGE 4 D REST OF UR LIFE. FINALLY,DNT KARE ABOUT HOW TO FACE YOUR FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH U HAVE BOASTED ABOUT DIS GUY. THEY WILL SURELY TALK BUT 1 THNG 4 SURE IS DAT THEY WILL KIP QUIET WHEN THEY ARE TIRED OF TALKING!

HARDDON:
Parochail......


Only a tru player wud see tru the second guy's moves n motives.....

You only roast what is within d homestead, and hunters wud give any bait to lure sexy games home...

Hope u dig that, if u didnt, nida do i

misspicy:
oh Lord continue to rain down confusion in the camp of side chicks that will not allow our fiancees and husbands have time for us...amen

i no refer to anybody o just making ma own assession

Obaf16:
I can't stop laughing,Amennnnn to ur prayer.

Acidosis:
s e x is the only thing that ties people in this manner.



As long as you both continue to meet, you will always continue to have se.x just like every other exes out there.


You can separate for 5 years, the moment you guys set eyes on each other, gbam! another round of s e.x! That's the way it is for 90% of Nigerians (married or not).

Just try and move on; you're not alone. It would be hard to get over him completely (now that you've had se,x with him) You can ask everyone around you.

ugojohnlittle:
I am not a gold digger... it was an emotional burden that pushed me into this entanglement.
I just need honest advices. Even if I get married, my heart belongs with my boyfriend. It's sad when you meet the right people at the wrong time.
This is my predicament.
Islam does not encourage courtship before marriage but I know marrying a stranger is a surefire to marriage disaster, but its worse here as I don't even accept this guy as a mere date.
My family don't see it as a problem. What if I marry him and he suffers from convulsion or is a wife batterer
He doesn't see any sense in it and said he will stick to that date and if I don't show up at the mosque, he will consider it his fate.
Advice me

NinaNigeria:
Leave de christian coz he has a fiance', and leave de muslim coz u dnt love him. Other u wil have de worst marriage ever. B patient and weight for yo own man

ugojohnlittle:
I just got married to him on the 4th of December.
It feels awkward, like I am in the wrong place already. All I do is tolerate him and I wonder if I'd ever get to the acceptance stage.


I wrote this before.


I am 2days old in marriage now.
I could not relocate.
It's even more complicated now. Having sex with this guy seems like a chore, I do not enjoy it and all that I think of is my boyfriend. I honestly can't get over him and please don't judge me or call me mean names, I can't explain why I feel this way.
However, I am once again pregnant for my boyfriend...this was strategic, I can't let go of that love. But, no one knows this.

Every free time I get I call my boyfriend and it just feels like a spell. He is extremely devastated though he always acts like he is okay when we talk but I know him so well and I sense it. I called him just before this post and he picked at the first ring and his voice doesn't sound like he has had any sleep all night.

I feel guilty and honestly marriage should not be the end point of any love relationship.

I don't know if I'd ever get over him in life.

I honestly felt he was gonna dump me when he got married and if I know all I know now, I will happily have remained single.

MurderX:
Ugojohnlittle or whatever you call yourself, go get a life and stop this pathetic fake story. Liar, liar!

duduade:
I SWEAR ...
EVEN ME I CONFUSE
WHICH KAIN SUPERSTORY BE THIS.....?

MurderX:
No mind the liar, e go soon direct us to one blog or the other.

SFSNIPER:
Please wat are the name of the drugs? My friend's galfrnd is two months pregnant and they need to have an abortion. URGENT

ugojohnlittle:
I just got married to him on the 4th of December.
It feels awkward, like I am in the wrong place already. All I do is tolerate him and I wonder if I'd ever get to the acceptance stage.


I wrote this before.


I am 2days old in marriage now.
I could not relocate.
It's even more complicated now. Having sex with this guy seems like a chore, I do not enjoy it and all that I think of is my boyfriend. I honestly can't get over him and please don't judge me or call me mean names, I can't explain why I feel this way.
However, I am once again pregnant for my boyfriend...this was strategic, I can't let go of that love. But, no one knows this.

Every free time I get I call my boyfriend and it just feels like a spell. He is extremely devastated though he always acts like he is okay when we talk but I know him so well and I sense it. I called him just before this post and he picked at the first ring and his voice doesn't sound like he has had any sleep all night.

I feel guilty and honestly marriage should not be the end point of any love relationship.

I don't know if I'd ever get over him in life.

I honestly felt he was gonna dump me when he got married and if I know all I know now, I will happily have remained single.

Aitee1:
Just two spoonful of snipper mix with half glass of Kai Kai will do the magic, thank me later.

Aitee1:
MurderX


To be bored is not good oh, I'm just nodding my head to the fake story like it's a movie

Op I know it all a lie but the story sweet sha

ugojohnlittle:
I honestly don't wish you are in a shoe as mine where all you need is someone to hear you wail and help rationalize the mess your heart is in--but if someday you are, I pray you get people who relate to your condition, people who will empathize, constructively criticize or sincerely counsel you.
Thank you

ugojohnlittle:
I work in a Promasidor key distributor's office and I also have a HND from Kwara Poly.

ugojohnlittle:
Good morning all,
I am a 27year old lady. I went into a relationship with a young Ikwerre guy exactly a year ago, he is 31 years old and works in an oil servicing firm here in Port Harcourt, we grew so in love with each other but there were two problems.
First; I am a Muslim while he is a Christian, and the second being being that he told me when we began our relationship that he was already engaged to a lady who was doing her masters in Scotland.
I was devastated at first, but he was just so nice and our compatibility was like no other, I just couldn't afford to lose him so we continued our relationship despite pressure from friends and family to leave him because of his religion.(no one knows of his relationship status) we still stuck together and like no man I've known, he was completely faithful to me.
Around July this year, his girlfriend came back from Scotland and visited, he told me when she got in and even told me when she'd be visiting.
He promised me that things won't change, the only thing being I couldn't visit him at home..to make up for this, he came straight to spend time with me once he closed from work and then will go home to her. I was really heartbroken then staying at home imagining what may have been going on with them. It was even worse when I called sometimes and he would not pick but will return the call later or in the morning.
She spent a week and went back to Calabar as she works with a Strategic Consultancy firm there. My boyfriend came back and told me to please understand that his heart truly belongs with me and that no one can take my place.
I however discovered from him that she came to conclude their marriage plans and that they were getting married in February 2016. I wanted to die, the thought of losing him was so painful, I was heartbroken and needed someone to cry to. He was with me all through this trying times assuring me that he'd forever be there for me and adviced me to take things easy.

All the while there was this guy that has been pestering me on whatsapp that he was crazy about me, begging me to give him a chance. I had always told him unequivocally that I was in love and in a relationship with someone else and warned him never to call me again
This guy does not have a job, he is a petty soft drink retailer, a devout muslim and acts extremely timid and naive he has a HND in engineering. I told him I was not interested and he said I should give him a chance.
I then told him never to call me that if he was serious he should come and meet my family.
The next day he was in my house with his people that he wanted to marry me.
My parents accepted him as they wanted me to break up with the Christian. He said he wanted to perform the islamic traditional rites by that weekend and I said no way. My whole relatives and friends begged me to accept him.
But my only reason for this was that I didn't know how to face my friends if they learnt that my boyfriend who I boasted was the best in the world married someone else. So I wanted to marry before he did.
I told the muslim guy that I did not love him and confessed to him that I was pregnant for my boyfriend, he said he didn't mind, that he will claim the pregnancy, he has also said he will not even hug me till our wedding night. I have aborted the baby as I took some drugs that made me bleed, my boyfriend wants me to keep the baby but we were cared that the drugs I took without his consent might affect the foetus or cause complications as the pregnancy progressed...the muslim guy does not know this

I do not know anything about him, I just know he still stays with his parents, and sisters and even has a sister who is back home from a failed marriage.

There are a few fishy signs, he said he broke up with his ex and changed his lines because of her, that I consider as being callous,
He also said his mom always disapproves of his choice of women but that she accepted me because of my calm disposition..but i am not calm, I am very opinionated and temperamental when you get to really know me. So it means his parents are domineering.
Whenever I don't take his call or tell him not to come see me, he calls all my family members reporting me.

I did not tell my boyfriend what happened and told him I wanted to let him move on, he probed further and I told him that someone had come for my hand in marriage.
He was really heartbroken that I stabbed him at the back, he said why did I not carry him along afterall he was always there for me. He was so heart broken and I felt so guilty, he said he will let me follow my heart and that he was hurt that I did not love him unconditionally. I begged him not to and almost killed myself when he told me to go my way.
We however made up and he started rationalizing it, telling me not to get married out of condition or compulsion. That my only fear was that I would share him with another lady but if I rushed into marriage, that the guy had the option to marry 3 more wives if it was not working with me and I will be stuck with my fear of forever sharing my man.

My boyfriend and his friends have begged me not to rush in to a marriage with some one I don't love but we have fixed the marriage date for December 4th this year.
I do not love him at all and he knows I am still seeing my boyfriend, he says that love will grow that he will let me do whatever I want to.
My boyfriend wants to prevent me from making this mistake according to him and is trying to get me a job away from here so I can relocate and clear my head. He says he loves me selflessly and will not allow me go into an unhappy family.
This other guy said if we get married and I get a job he will allow me relocate.
Please advice me what to do as I know I will forever love my boyfriend and this other guy is acting too suspicious.

Could this be love, what do I do now?