₦airaland Forum

bettercreature:
Ladies are selfish! You suppose to divorce or ask your husband to marry another wife if you can not concieve for 5yrs or more, my opinion might not make sense to you tho but we all know God does not created any woman who can not concieve,their ability not to concieve is due to what they have done when they were young,i don't think i can hustle all my life, make it, then stay with a woman who can not concieve for more than 5years

Y dear, men can be selfish too o. My husband was diagnosed with low sperm count. I stayed with him for 6 yrs. I had to try my luck elsewhere. And gratefully I got pregnant. Instead of him to be happy he was there yarning dust. What manner of selfishness is that?

As a married woman you leave your house very early and come back home very late, your hormones are always busy no time for your hormones to settle down.
Your husband makes loves to you at night when you are very tired you hormones will turn the sperms to water due to much stress.
Prayer does not solve all problems, but by restricting yourself to some certain things in life you will achieve success.
Your hormones needs rest abeg, remember what works for me might not work out for you. There are some other working class ladies that work with same busy schedule also but have several babies to be called theirs, don't compare yourself to them. You are specially and wonderfully created, please you need rest off working busy schedule. May you be blessed abundantly.

eph12:
It's only a matter of time before it gets to assault and battery. The man does not send the wife again.

....if the woman exercises caution and control,there will be peace....

Joy1706:
Y dear, men can be selfish too o. My husband was diagnosed with low sperm count. I stayed with him for 6 yrs. I had to try my luck elsewhere. And gratefully I got pregnant. Instead of him to be happy he was there yarning dust. What manner of selfishness is that?

We are saying the same thing,it should apply to both men and women

MissGdope:
dude I called you dumb for the simple fact that you sound really silly. I find it hard to believe that you don't know that abortion is not the only cause of infertility. In fact if abortion is carried out by a professional and at an early stage of the pregnancy, it will have zero effect on fertility. Let me educate you a little bit. Infertility can be caused by a number of factors:
1.Ovulation disorders
2. Issues with the Womb and fallopian tubes
3.Cervical mucus defect
4.Submucosal fibroids
5.Endometriosis
6.Pelvic inflammatory disease
7.Age

all of the above, including a few others can cause infertility in women or reduce fertility.
here's a link: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Infertility/Pages/Causes.aspx
do yourself a favour and click on that link as the website explains each point i made up there.

It is very sad to think that there are many women out there who can't get pregnant out of no fault of theirs but people like you will always be there to accuse them of being promiscuous, or a witch or an ogbanje.
smh

but wait! I'm not a lady. ..I don't need to argue! You won

Myra pls don't seek for shortcut in this whole situation of your. This could just be God setting up the Devil for your favour. This only thing u should be praying forfor now is grace to go through and the heart of love for your husband child in another's womb. And I see God granting your needs. Now you need God not even a Pastor but God. Get books on love and read in line with the Bible. What you don't love u can't get. This might just be a prove of your love for children. Pray for her and your husband.

greggng:
What ur husband did is not as bad as what you did in the past that resulted in you not having babies. Abortion is dangerious. Unfortunately ur husband married you without knowing ur past. Pls move on and allow the man to enjoy his fatherhood. It is wicked for a man to have a man as wife. It is true both of you ladies ve got pussies but it takes more than a pussy to be pregnant.

you are very ignorant. So every woman who is barren and can't have kids must have done abortion in her past?

Brytawon:
My name is Myra and I'm a very angry and bitter woman. And it's all thanks to the 'witch' called Hetty, my landlady.
**********************************************************
Before the 'Jezebel', came into our lives, my husband CJ and I were doing just fine. We had been married for about eight years and though we did not have children, CJ was not too worried.

"When the time comes, we will have children. God's time is the best," he often said anytime I grew anxious over our childless state. You know how our African society is. Once a couple gets married, people especially family members, friends, colleagues and other so called 'well-wishers' expect the woman to start popping out babies as quickly as possible. My husband's parents and other family members live far away from us and hardly visit so pressure from their end was not much.

All the same, I never relented in my quest to have my own child. I fasted and prayed and cried to God to remember me. But the years went by and there was still no issue.

Then about two years ago, we had to move to another apartment from where we were staying in Lagos due to problems with the landlord. He had increased the rent by over fifty percent without warning and threatened to eject any tenant who did not comply. My husband, who felt the new rent was too high for the flat decided we should move.

So that's how we ended up in our new place. The house, made up of four flats is owned by Hetty who had inherited it from her parents. She lived in one of the flats downstairs with her two children, both teenagers. Hetty, who is in her late 30s, was said to be divorced or separated from her husband. When we moved in newly, the woman was so nice and helpful to us, always asking if we had any problems. She would invite us to her home and even cook for us. With time,
we became very close. I thought in my naivety that she was just being nice.

How did I know that she had designs on my husband! Anyway, I found out later that my husband was dating our landlady. It had been going on for months before I knew about it. You see, because of my job I'm hardly at home. My office is in Victoria Island so I leave home early and return home late as well. My husband is a business man so his schedule is more flexible than mine. There are days he does not go out at all, but stays at home and works on his computer and makes contacts on phone.

Since the story came out about their affair, friends and other concerned well-wishers have told me that I should have been more careful, that I should not have allowed a woman like her, single and still quite young and pretty to get close to my husband. But what were they expecting me to do, tie a grown up like him up? He's mature enough to know right from wrong and that dating that woman is something he should not have done.

**********************************************************
I found out about the affair from a neighbour who had been seeing them going out together and acting like lovers whenever I was at work. I confronted CJ and though he denied it initially, he finally owned up and confessed. He pleaded with me to forgive and forget that it was the 'work of the devil.'
"What devil?" I countered furiously.
"Instead of accepting responsibility for cheating on me with our landlady, you are blaming the devil!" I was very angry with him and I felt hurt too. What the woman has that I lacked, I wondered, weeping bitter tears. Ok, she was very pretty but I was not bad looking and was even younger than her.

CJ promised to stop seeing the woman, also begging me not to go and fight her as we could be kicked out of the apartment. I loved my husband very much and he meant the world to me so I forgave him. Things went on as normal though I was more vigilant this time around. As for my landlady, she travelled with her children abroad for the summer holidays and I did not see her for some time. The children came back and resumed school but she stayed behind for a few more months.

When she returned later, it was clear to even a blind man that she was pregnant. I did not think much of it and just ignored her as I had been doing since I found out she was sleeping with my husband. That was until CJ broke the terrible news to me, that he was responsible for her pregnancy! How could this have happened, was the first thought that entered my mind. I was, as expected devastated by the new development. Here was I, married to him for nearly eight years and yet to produce a child. Yet a clandestine affair with our landlady had resulted in a
pregnancy.

I became ill when I heard the news and had to take some time off from work. When my mother who lived near us heard what happened, she came to spend time with me. It was my mother and younger sister who came with her that went to my landlady's house and fought with her. Much as I hated the woman, I was not in support of physical combat and told my mother to leave her alone. The damage had been done and fighting her would not solve anything, I reasoned.

**********************************************************
It was my husband that I was more worried about. He had become so happy since Hetty announced she was pregnant for him.
"Finally, I will be a father," he had stated with obvious pride the day he broke the news to me. When I recovered, I called him one day that due to the situation of things, I no longer felt comfortable living in the same compound with the landlady, that we had to move. To my shock, CJ was vehemently opposed to my suggestion, insisting there was no need to relocate.

"Hetty will soon put to bed and as the father of the baby, I need to be around to look after them," he said. I was not ready to give in and I gave him an ultimatum: it's either we left or he should forget about me and our marriage. I told him I was not ready to share my man with any woman, least of all that conniving landlady of ours.

"I can't stay here anymore. Seeing that woman every day with her big, protruding tummy drives me crazy. I need to get away for my own sanity and peace of mind," I said.

That was when he told me that I could do whatever I wanted, that he was not ready to go anywhere.
"I'm going nowhere. We just moved here so why would we be moving so soon? Learn to adjust to the situation or ..." he rejoined.

Since I'm not ready to adjust, I have begun making alternative plans. My younger sister, who has her own apartment in town, has suggested I move in with her until CJ comes to his senses. I don't know what will happen to my marriage when I leave. I still love my husband and I know he cares about me too, but that woman seems to have cast a spell or used 'love charm' on him or something. I need to get away before I lose my mind with worry and stress. I don't know if I have taken the right decision or not. But I need some space right now before I lose my mind or even die prematurely from all the trouble my husband and his mistress have caused me...

THE END!

Names have been changed to protect the identity
of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

source: www.truelifestoriesng..com.ng/2015/12/im-childless-but-my-landlady-is.html?m=1

This is why i love the white,a white woman would have approached court for decree nise and decree absolute and here you are talking on how to save a marriage that has gone bad already.

Chommieblaq:
Siddon where? Do you know the kind of emotional trauma she will be passing through, the husband should have agreed with her and move, moving won't stop him from taking responsibilities of his child, buh so long he refuse to move n they keep staying in that same compound with that hetty, blve the problem has just started.




Feel ya pain sis, buh ur work ma no dey help matter, imagine a married woman going to work very early n probably coming back so late. D deed is done and can't be corrected by fighting, advise ur ppl not to fight with the woman.
Look for someone he listens to, involve his parent, tell em that u ain't stopping him from taking his responsibility, the child is his no problem, u just wanna save your home and staying in that same compound will only destroy it the more. And finally make out tym for your home, give ur home n husband attention.

Wish u the best and pray things work out fyn.

lets face it.. the marriage is finished.

sapiosexual1:
Op lemme give you a professional advice, I really feel for your plight with soo much empathy. I don't know what tribe you come from but in this matter you must not carry last (even if you're not a warri woman)
First thing first, it's obvious that the infertility problem is from you. I can't dialogue you on what your past has been like to know if this is a primary or secondary infertility, let's leave that for now.
Second thing, visit a well recognized hospital, preferably a federal government hosp, lay your infertility problem to the gynecologist you meet there, they would carry out fertility hormone profile test on you to know where exactly the problem is coming from.
Having known that, you're half way to solving your problem, decide on a solution with the doc (I don't know how old you are but if your hormonal profile is encouraging, you could be enrolled in an IVF programm (assisted conception). They would discuss the available options to you, make a choice. You could carry your baby I in 9months too.
PS : I can't name private hospitals that run the programm here for obvious reasons (it's against the ethics of our profession), if the teaching hospital doesn't run the programm, they could easily refer you. Lastly, it's quite costly, as high as 900k or more depending on the one you chose.

baba e don late oooooooohhhh. watin again?

Vickygirk:
pple's comment sha, ESP ecially those blaming the woman for infertility problem. what if the man is actually infertile and the Hetty of a woman is taking advantage of their situation. the first thinf first is for the woman to do fertility test to rule out the possibility of the fault been hers. then wait for the lady in question to give birth and the conduct paternal test for the baby. this is actually ascertain the husband is the owner. for the meantime stay low and be strong, u will pull through this challenge

forget that test. the baby is definitely the man's own.

taiwokyle:
Better siddon wit ur property. Whr anoda husband dey Jst be hopeful and prayerful. God'll surely answer ur prayer.

Sickest advice ever!

Could be your sister o! There is God o!

ajuwarhodes:
The rate at which men have low sperm counts nowadays will make u wonder if they have had abortions too,once i marry and I don't get pregnant, I will devorce his ass too! Who knows how he spent his single days! Stupid messing around

The rate humans are getting selfish puzzles me, just imagine those ignorant post earlier? Me wey no get sister sef no dey reason like that and I'm sure they have sisters, he even dey back am with bible how appalling!

blakky97:
baba e don late oooooooohhhh. watin again?

wetin late? better late than never.

AsanwaKC:
somebody have to go down......just pretend to be in accordance with them..then struck.

That's evil

Yes, you love you husband so much, yes i believe you. But it has happened so the choice is yours becos nobody will tell you what to do, even your mother cannot. Do you know what hetty has that you don't have, is the whole time in the world and i guess your husband liked that. The yorubas would see ori omo lon pe omo wa aye. Just pray hetty is not into deadly jazz. It is your life which does not have duplicate.

Joy1706:
Y dear, men can be selfish too o. My husband was diagnosed with low sperm count. I stayed with him for 6 yrs. I had to try my luck elsewhere. And gratefully I got pregnant. Instead of him to be happy he was there yarning dust. What manner of selfishness is that?

Hope you find succour with your new man, bless madam

JrizzyJosh:
Lol! After all the abortion you committed then. ..now you are here. .don't blame the nigga. ..He needs a baby! Stay away from premature sex all this girls nor go hear

Yeye dey smell here ooooo, so every woman who has issues with child bearing has committed. Abortion ? Abi?

If u stil luv him so much jst stay.d worst tin u cn do is to pack out of ur matrimonial home 4 a stranger of mnths.its hard to face I knw.I prophesy to ur life by dis tym nxt year u wil b carryin ur own baby.In Jesus name Amen

I feel your pains. You need to bear somethings in mind though.
1. There is a thin line between sanity and insanity (quoting my mum). You need to be careful for your health especially psychologically. You can't afford to break down or end up doing something rash of in the end.
I know a lady who committed suicide, after a lot of marital pressure that might have been ameliorated by moving out on time. Later we got to find out that if she had moved out her husband would have moved with her( don't think that would be the case in your situation, as her in laws were her own problem though with 3 children at the time)
Be careful please, her husband is now remarried and currently is not making the mistakes he made with his siblings i n her time. But it's to late for her.

2. In seeming contrast to my above texts, I will also say if you are not ready for a divorce then you also have to find a balance in which you can still fight(not literally) for your man and marriage. Starting all over is not going to be easy, so consider all things fully.

U ask why? Are you God?[sub][/sub]

ojun50:
For the past 8 years no child why?

My dear dont leave ur home. Just adjust and accept d situation on ground and keep on praying. God will open ur womb and u will conceive. I have heard a related story where d husband married another woman and his first wife later conceived. Take heart.

Addicted2Women:
I did the same thing to my girlfriend.
I impregnated my girlfriend's sister.
She refused to play her role (not of your barrenness).
I will also blame you for what your husband did.
Men are easily tamed, there is only one thing you can do to a man to keep him away from cheating. Just give him the best sex, the juju no go clear for him eye, he go dey after your pusssy like a dog is after bone.

But i know this is a big lie from hell.

I feel sorry for you, you should seek help. I can see you're feeling very down given your comments. If you felt happy, you wouldn't insult others. You have too much hatred inside of you, that's not even good for your very self.
It's a pity you can't see how wonderful Christ and God are, they can give you real happiness.

skyfullofstars:
I feel sorry for you, you should seek help. I can see you're feeling very down given your comments. If you felt happy, you wouldn't insult others. You have too much hatred inside of you, that's not even good for your very self.
It's a pity you can't see how wonderful Christ and God are, they can give you real happiness.

You just said Christ and God ??
Fucck off, you little stinky goat face.

And Christians are the most sad and poor set of people on earth, why don't they ask their God to give them what they want ??

Fucccck off

i can feel ur pains, undastnd wot u goin tro an i pray may the Lord Almighty intervene on ur behalf

I am married for 7 years now but there is no child, the two we had died...one died stilled at 8months 2 weeks (two weeks to delivery) and the other died six months after delivery......a boy and girl respectively all through CS. It was after four years before the first pregnance came ooooooh. I was tempted to take another wife as my love and desire for children knows no bound. However, as Christians we are not living to please ourselves but to please God. I know what your hubby went through, the level of his thought became fragile after 8 years of holding on.
1. Just stay in your home as you are not to please yourself but God
2. There is no vacant space in nature, the moment you leave your guess is as good as mine
3. God is about to open your wumb now for it is darker when day is about to break
4. Embrace peace for your mind first and extend it to your hubby and the popurted wife
5. Pray without ceasing

Addicted2Women:
You just said Christ and God ??
Fucck off, you little stinky goat face.

And Christians are the most sad and poor set of people on earth, why don't they ask their God to give them what they want ??

Fucccck off

We do ask God what we want, every single day. I think you're missing the point. Christianity brings love and peace to its believers, and sends anger and hatred away

Polygamy would solve all their problems.

Even if it's a spell and he gets out of it, things can never be the same. File-in for a divorce and stay alone, that way guilt pang or grieve about barreness will not set in.
The only way normalcy can set in is if you kill the woman - if you kill the baby? She can still birth another... Trust me sweetie, you wouldn't want to do that, would you?
Please walk away while you're still in one piece, cause normalcy can never be. If you stick around, then you're going to be a second wife!

Email me 4 advice...NWORONACHIGOZIE@GMAIL.COM

mountainvolcano:
I am married for 7 years now but there is no child, the two we had died...one died stilled at 8months 2 weeks (two weeks to delivery) and the other died six months after delivery......a boy and girl respectively all through CS. It was after four years before the first pregnance came ooooooh. I was tempted to take another wife as my love and desire for children knows no bound. However, as Christians we are not living to please ourselves but to please God. I know what your hubby went through, the level of his thought became fragile after 8 years of holding on.
1. Just stay in your home as you are not to please yourself but God
2. There is no vacant space in nature, the moment you leave your guess is as good as mine
3. God is about to open your wumb now for it is darker when day is about to break
4. Embrace peace for your mind first and extend it to your hubby and the popurted wife
5. Pray without ceasing

I kind of see sense in this: if she stick around, and God blesses her with a child, the Landlady could even lose hers! The question is, would the husband still be willing to meet with her? Or we should leave that to God? Hmm..

Joy1706:
Y dear, men can be selfish too o. My husband was diagnosed with low sperm count. I stayed with him for 6 yrs. I had to try my luck elsewhere. And gratefully I got pregnant. Instead of him to be happy he was there yarning dust. What manner of selfishness is that?

Hmm.. You scare me! I know you're trying to reply ---creature's comment but the part where you said Try Luck & Yan Dust is petty scary!
Tell you what, the child is someone else's no matter how you try to paint it, is not his! When the time is right the real owner's going to show up!
If child-bearing is enough to cause asunder, why bond as man and wife? One should just Try Luck with anyone they fancy and be liberated from matrimonial vows!
I'm not trying to be judgmental, alright? I'm just quizzical!
If I love someone to the point that I take a vow to bond for life, trust me sweetie, NOTHING even kids is going to make me debond!