₦airaland Forum

glossy6:
Unbelievable. I thought me and my twin sister are the only twins acting that way.

olsheye:
I hope u knowwhat to condescend means. check n correct ya sef

Oliviaarims:
nciation(RP) (IPA): /ˌkɒndɪˈsɛnd/(America) (IPA): /ˌkɑːndɪˈsɛnd/verb (condescends, condescending; past and past participle condescended)(intransitive) To come down from one's superior position; to deign (to do something).


I've got nothing to correct.

placeofallure:
It's not a nice thing to be strangers with your siblings. I think the bulk of it lies with the parents. I have 2 sisters, like the op but I am in the middle. I can't even tell the one I'm closer to between them. In fact my big sister is like my twin regardless of the 5 year difference, cos we have the same body frame, we have many clothes that are alike or the same. She returned from Dubai recently and got 3 robes, one for each of us. You can start from there, buy stuff and get hers too.

Also find topical issues that will interest her. My husband is always afraid of our gist moments cos it's endless. Parents, especially mothers should create that bond from the outset. We carry this sense or idea that one cannot survive without the other, even our other siblings who are boys have caught on and that mentality is being passed on to our children now.

Be her friend and not sister. You know big sisters can be bossy at times. If you ask my sister's kids who is their mum's friend, without thinking they'll just say my name. We are that close. As the eldest sister you should make the effort to bond with her.

Good luck to you.

Oliviaarims:
Lol. Perfect pic!

Clinton594:
I just logged in to comment on your post!
First of all, I feel your grief.... I am a first born too and I understand.
Just as If a family is to be enjoyable- it must first start from the parents then it'll go down to the kids so is it your obligation to spice up the relationship between you and your siblings.
Too bad you are not guys, we have our own unique way of digging things up like playing computer games and stuffs like that.
You can start by taking them out on a Sunday, just spend a little., it'll lighten up the atmosphere for you to converse with her. Include the youngest sibling so it doesn't look as is you're buying her off.
Just have a good time together beforebefore engaging her in such discussions, it'll help

AND REMEMBER, YOU MUST (AND I REPEAT! , YOU MUST) KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR SISTER IF YOU CARE ABOUT HEY AND DON'T WANT HER TO STAY. IT'S YOUR OBLIGATION AS LONG AS YOU ALL ARE STILL UNDER ONE ROOF

breadandtea:
Hello everyone, this issue has been bothering me for a while now, so I decided to speak up here because I know I would get good 'advises' from people here.

I come from a family of 3 girls (our only brother died when he was less than one), I'm the Eldest (22), the next is 19 and the last is 16. We stay with our parents in Lagos.
I was very close with my immediate younger sister, I still remember many fun times we had together. But our relationship started drifting apart during our secondary school period, we started talking less. I remember I reacted harshly towards her when she used a little of my N100 I was storing for midnight call and things even got worse from that moment.
She joined me in UNIPORT, and we were staying together off-campus. Some times, we barely say more than 50 words to each other in a day, she prefers to gist with our neighbors.

Whenever I see other siblings in my compound, I know something is not just right! We don't even gist normal girly stuffs like boyfriends, makeup, dresses & co, and it really bothers me. We barely even quarrel, I think for the past 3-4 years, we've only quarreled 2 or 3 times.
Though we are both close to our youngest sister.

So please advise me on what to do. Thanks.

BUTCHCASSIDY:
Why the long face? its a compliment testifying to Ur cuteness

Oliviaarims:
Here's where I'm supposed to blush, yeah? Lol. Thanks.

Gaborone:
Hi Dear,

Sorry about the situation.

I'm happy you're the elder one...I'm sure it would make things a tad bit easier. You may need to force her out of her shell by bringing up things that would increase the contact between you guys. One way you can do this is asking her to help you do things once in a while. For eg, is she a make-up freak like my sister? If she is, you can present yourself and your kit for trial sessions. You can always ask her to shave your brows if you shave them. You can tease her about being an in-house professional, and have her do your make-up when you have outings every now and then. Those are just examples. Just think...does she know how to tie scarfs? You can have her tie yours every now and then. Is she a fashionista? You can start up a conversation with her when picking clothes to wear or buy. Even if she isn't a 'professional' in any of these, you can always form 'I need another hand to do this'. The options are endless actually. Ask about her opinion on weaves and hairstyles whenever you're going to make your hair. Another way of getting you guys to talk.

You can also tell her about your day. Forget you guys aren't so close for now, just make the gist exciting. No one keeps quite for hot gist. lol. And then, ask about hers too. When she's going out, tell her jokingly not to fight or knock down anyone's tray. Comment on her dressing. etc.

And then, you can ask her out of nowhere one day ''if she feels like flexing". If her answer is positive, you both can stroll to a fast food joint nearby to buy whatever you can afford. Only both of you should go for this walk. I say so because if your youngest sister comes along for now, she will gravitate towards her, since they are closer for now, as such, the purpose will be defeated.

There're many things you can do actually, the idea is 'forcing' you girls to communicate/interract. The more you do that, the more barriers are broken, and the more you bond.

I must add though, that if she rebuffs all the subtle attempts at getting close to her, you may need to sit with her and bring up a direct conversation about it. Ask what's wrong? What happened? Is she hurt about something you did? Is she angry with you? Is there anything going on with her she would want to discuss with you? How can things be changed?...etc.

Don't worry, all iz well. She will come around.

Cheers.

breadandtea:
Hello everyone, this issue has been bothering me for a while now, so I decided to speak up here because I know I would get good 'advises' from people here.

I come from a family of 3 girls (our only brother died when he was less than one), I'm the Eldest (22), the next is 19 and the last is 16. We stay with our parents in Lagos.
I was very close with my immediate younger sister, I still remember many fun times we had together. But our relationship started drifting apart during our secondary school period, we started talking less. I remember I reacted harshly towards her when she used a little of my N100 I was storing for midnight call and things even got worse from that moment.
She joined me in UNIPORT, and we were staying together off-campus. Some times, we barely say more than 50 words to each other in a day, she prefers to gist with our neighbors.

Whenever I see other siblings in my compound, I know something is not just right! We don't even gist normal girly stuffs like boyfriends, makeup, dresses & co, and it really bothers me. We barely even quarrel, I think for the past 3-4 years, we've only quarreled 2 or 3 times.
Though we are both close to our youngest sister.

So please advise me on what to do. Thanks.

nnamdiosu:
wise words from an elder

olubenjazzy:
You already said it all.

ikescope:
Well said...u get sense!

Gaborone:
I'm humbled. You see I'm a good girl...I didn't quote your correct Inglish.

Jckleiin:
Have a direct conversation with her when she is at her best moment. Tell her how you feel about her letting out your secrets. Am the 1st and I remember I was that silly back then not until my younger bro called me and told me about it. Family is everything.

Gaborone:
words of praise from someone I'll like to be like when I grow up.



#Thanks

Realberry:
Mine is my younger brother..He is the most stubborn,strong willed and disrespectful kid i've ever met..I used to attribute his attitude to his young age but he is 18 now and he keeps getting worse..Even our parents are fed up..MY mum is to blame anyways,she spoilt him silly..I doubt if he and I can ever be in good terms.

BleSSedMee:
*smiles* Thanks.....

Will do so @ family Reunion this yuletide...

I can only hope for the best..