₦airaland Forum

sinizia:
This is a complicated issue especially for the ladies who are naturally not "hunters" that we men are and so are not advised to open up or woo a man.


To be frankly blunt, I'd NEVER advise a lady to make the first move on me or anybody for that matter UNLESS she's 95% sure that :

1. That the guy is into her and she's sure he'd grab the opportunity to date her.

2. That the guy is the mature and serious type, not the youths still in the game of "tasting different soups."

3. And most importantly, that the guy won't take advantage of it to treat her as trash.


If she's not sure of the above, then she shouldn't try it. Look, this is Nigeria and not Yankee. Things don't work like that here. In most cases I've seen where the lady made the first move, 98% of them ended with the guy acting like he's doing the girl a favor. It don't usually end well.

Funny enough, my first relationship, the girl made the first move and I was already madly into her and never disrespected her and loved her greatly. But one thing I noticed was that whenever we had a slight misunderstanding, she'll go; "you are acting like this coz I opened up about my feelings to you" and it irked me coz I saw it as a manipulative strategy to blame me even when I'm not wrong. Ever since then, I prefer to be the "hunter", to make the move and if I get turned down, I feel disappointed and move on. If a girl turn a guy down, it's "normal", no biggie. But if the reverse was the case, some people can use it to mock the girl and it'll be a big deal.


So my advice to any lady is, if you love a guy, like you want to date this guy, show him all the possible "lights" in this world, green, red, yellow abi na white; if after all the "lights", the sweet and romantic talks, the extra care you give to him and he still doesn't want to take it to the next level, move the fúck on!! It's either he's oblivious of the signs, not into you or too egoistic to assume the natural role and ask you out.



My 2 cents

Kachisbarbie:
Then it's safe to say the Nigerian factor is warped and medieval. Of course I know right, but I can only speak for myself and not the 90% of guys that abuse the love of such "bold ladies".
There is no standard on how a relationship should take off, if it works for you_ fine. If it doesn't _ life goes on... we win some, we lose some.

Odunharry:
spot on

Oliviaarims:
This is one instance I already agreed is permissible. I think my major issue lies in making the first move on a total stranger one has no real acquaintanceship with.

sonofananimal:
welcome to the club!

xp17:
on a serious note, if a guy turns you down like you aforementioned, shouldn't you show gratitude to him for being honest at least? Because, some guys are like a carpenter who sees every issue as a nail, hence STRIKES

Or

Would you rather he plays along just to eat the cookie and disappears ?

That guy deserves a headies rated

elantraceey:
The reasons why I'll never ask a guy out with rejection totally out of it are

1) The guy might just accept out pity, just to respect my boldness and courage and I NEVER want to be dated out of pity.

2) He might just accept for the might be benefits which we all know.

3) I might end up becoming a second choice, don't get confused yet let me explain. For instance we were friends and there seem to be a connection but he has his eyes on whom he'll love to date then I pop the question and he says yes because he likes me a lot, I've deprived him of dating someone he really wants.


Its not a must he woos me when I give him green lights, I'll just assume he's not interested and move on, simple.

tosyne2much:
As she say she go woo you, see as my guy happy


Baba, don't be a kitty-cat starved dudes

Laveda:
Now that's what I was trying to say..its better he says he's not interested than just playing along just to get down on me...

Good morning..

Adanna28:
I recall having this conversation with my father back at 21 in regards to liking this guy, that I was friends with whom obviously liked me too, but was shy in taking it to the next level of asking me out.

I was waiting n waiting with the same notions of "I'm not asking you out, you are the man, it your job to do it" lol.

I dey vex he was taking his merry time, though dropping signals in his actions that he wanted to be closer than friends.

Said something along the lines to my father " I will never ask a man out, if he wants me he will make it happen".'

My Dad said to me " Ada this is not the year of prince charming riding a horse, nor is it the stone age, it the 21st century, you got to move forward with the times, have some courage to let what you want be known.

He not a mind reader, could save so much time just thinking about it, n actually going for what you want. He just as scared as you are, but even if it doesn't go the way you want, at least you would be satisfied with knowing you tried, and can move on from there".

I was mad at first at what my father said to me lol, but looking at the overall picture, understood his point of view.

I had the courage to make the first move n the guy was more than happy to welcome it, lol. He even said he liked my confidence since he quite shy, didn't want to be rejected by me.

So yeah that my piece on this. It not a crime for a woman to make the first move, after all we won't know what could have been, until we try.

zanga420:
thats d matured man, d best. But many ladies want when they ask u out it must be a yes.

jnrbayano:
Sense filled post.

Dalu ni nwanne

BUTCHCASSIDY:
Hehehe
Yeah rite

tosyne2much:
As a guy, I just can't imagine myself wooing a lady. The highest I can do, is show her greenlight and If she can't woo me, she should go hang herself for all I care!!


*nobody should quote*

Laveda:
Nah... I can't try that shít again..
Imagine being turned down when you've surmoned the courage to talk to him

I dont advice that...keep flashing that green light..if he's too dumb to see it...fùck him .

Estharfabian:
You'd be super surprised!

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Baba mi Good morning.
Who is candygosh?[/color]

zanga420:
Besides they're not acquittances b4 then. My guy works in coy A, d babe in coy B, during break periods they loitter around d same vicinity, so non knew each others name.
Thats why I said, its an instinct thing n swag. When d instict, boldness n desire are there, d styles n moves to make comes out naturally. I'm not a lady, so don't know lotta of gals modus operandi, neither am I good in fiction, if not would've given u one.
Presently my colleague's fvckmate is a stranger. D guy just dey pee for open place na em d babe(a total stranger) dey pass, tell him, 'd dick is not bad oo'. And they took it from there.

Odunharry:
morning boss.. she was a Nairalander

[color=#1980BC]And she's dead? [/color]

coltaine:
It's a pleasure.
P.S :- I WILL NT ADVICE ANY MALE OR FEMALE TO MAKE A FIRST MOVE ON D FIRST SIGHTING, STUDY D ODA PERSON FIRST TO AVOID STORIES DAT TOUCH

lilzcee:
ur opinion and ur mentality, na force to see the green light? girls are taking it as if its compulsory to see the green light, if he didn't see it, come and kill him, idiot, after u girls are after the money and sex, if i want sex, i will go to olosho

Shut up!!!
You lack manners......

doskie:
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha just so so so funny!
I will welcome any opportunity to have a date with you in kentucky fried chicken. just tell me when you'll be free.

Oliviaarims:
Hehehehe. "Chyk the the hell outta tha Nigga." How about we start with you?

Kachisbarbie:
Some ladies expect guys to know when they are in the mood to be wooed, if they are his level or not... like he is psychic _ yet they can't do same.
Guys get turned down everyday, and they are not dead.

You don't go about approaching every random guy, those signs you expect a young man to watch out for, you should be smart enough to watch out for same signs.

Observing a guy closely (especially when you guys have established a reasonable degree of familiarity), you would notice if he is into you but has issues expressing himself probably for fear of being turned down too. That's the time to strike...

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Lol what club sir?[/color]

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]And she's dead? [/color]