₦airaland Forum

yemoxyl:
Not married and not planning to any time soon

Will come back when am ready

Nobody is interested in your marital status

Not a single objection from the ladies this is a first.

Good one

ournaijablog:
This should relate to both men and women because everything you have stated here is a trait of both sexes

but remember the bible says "the wise woman builds her home while the foolish one destroys her home with her hands.

Ijaya123:
This makes sense to me.

But the question is, will they learn?

It will always sound rhetoric to them.

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Greenbullet:
women are a naturally confused specie .think am lying get an Orange T-shirt Ask 10 gals dey will give u 10 diff colour.try it for men dey will all tell you Orange.

Lol, you just made me remember this picture...

Pride destroys

benedictac:
but remember the bible says "the wise woman builds her home while the foolish one destroys her home with her hands.

abegi, it shouldn't fall on the woman alone, like I mentioned supra this is a trait of both sexes, yes it takes a wise woman to build her home, marriage is a partnership not a one person institution, it is about love, understanding and co-operation, without these a marriage is bound to fail anyway. so a wise woman who goes about building her home without the co-operation of the husband is like pouring water on a rock remember a house will definitely crumble without a solid foundation

Blah blah blah, crap

Godwin10123:
How some Ladies are destroying their Marriage without knowing

If you are one of those ladies who no longer respect people who are older than you because of the things you see in social media then you can't be my friend; I will keep you at bay. Respect for ones elders is one of the cardinal principles I learn from my parents and I live by that. Many marriages are failing today because women want to be equal with men blindly, hence there is no peace on many homes.

Read this interesting eye-opener from a married woman...

When I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of someone else’s well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and actions.

Women, we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages. Don’t let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest happiness in life.

Here are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage.

1. Living outside of what you can afford
A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: “The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband’s means.”

Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.

Constantly complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking up astronomical amounts of debt for yourself and your husband is a poor way of saying “thank you” to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.

Yes, you may not have enough to buy that deigner shoes or bag you’ve had your eyes on recently, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him and are grateful for what he provides.

2. Constant negativity
You hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street, your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every negative and angry thought that’s crossed your mind.

Can you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for him to help solve your pains.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can’t help you do that, it makes him unhappy.

3. Putting everything else first
When your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband, you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self esteem?

Put your husband first! Although it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you’d be amazed to find that it’s often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage. So many couples get divorced these days, because of neglect and to a large extent disrespect.

If you choose to put him first, you will find a lot of joy.

4. Withholding physical affection
Men crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline intimacy, it wears on them. Sex should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God.

It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you — and you only. Even though you might not always be in the mood, it’s worth it to give in (unless you are sick) and spend that time bonding.

5. Not speaking his language
Don’t waste your time giving subtle hints that he won’t understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don’t bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what’s wrong, don’t respond with “nothing” and then expect him to read your mind. Be open to your man and grow your marriage.

http://www.olufamous.com/2016/01/how-some-ladies-today-are-killing-their.html?m=1

free2ryhme:
Nobody is interested in your marital status

Obviously you are interested

delishpot:
Typical......to the average Nigerian only the wife has a role to play for a marriage to seem to be working.
No advice is ever given to the husbands except to just sit back and enjoy the services of their wives.
Odiegwu, I pity women sha.

Pls if u know the roles/duties of a husband, just tell us so we can learn. No man is an island

benedictac:
but remember the bible says "the wise woman builds her home while the foolish one destroys her home with her hands.

U Neva see foolish men wey destroy their home? u make it sound like only women destroy homes.

yemoxyl:
Obviously you are interested

Keep deceiving yourself I don't deal with scrubs

ournaijablog:
abegi, it shouldn't fall on the woman alone, like I mentioned supra this is a trait of both sexes, yes it takes a wise woman to build her home, marriage is a partnership not a one person institution, it is about love, understanding and co-operation, without these a marriage is bound to fail anyway. so a wise woman who goes about building her home without the co-operation of the husband is like pouring water on a rock remember a house will definitely crumble without a solid foundation

Thank u

free2ryhme:
Keep deceiving yourself I don't deal with scrubs

And what makes u think i deal with people like you


Swerve jhoor

yemoxyl:
And what makes u think i deal with people like you


Swerve jhoor

Insecured mumu

Ijaya123:
This makes sense to me.
But the question is, will they learn?

How many have u learnt?

Godwin10123:
How some Ladies are destroying their Marriage without knowing

If you are one of those ladies who no longer respect people who are older than you because of the things you see in social media then you can't be my friend; I will keep you at bay. Respect for ones elders is one of the cardinal principles I learn from my parents and I live by that. Many marriages are failing today because women want to be equal with men blindly, hence there is no peace on many homes.

Read this interesting eye-opener from a married woman...

When I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of someone else’s well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and actions.

Women, we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages. Don’t let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest happiness in life.

Here are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage.

1. Living outside of what you can afford
A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: “The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband’s means.”

Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.

Constantly complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking up astronomical amounts of debt for yourself and your husband is a poor way of saying “thank you” to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.

Yes, you may not have enough to buy that deigner shoes or bag you’ve had your eyes on recently, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him and are grateful for what he provides.

2. Constant negativity
You hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street, your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every negative and angry thought that’s crossed your mind.

Can you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for him to help solve your pains.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can’t help you do that, it makes him unhappy.

3. Putting everything else first
When your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband, you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self esteem?

Put your husband first! Although it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you’d be amazed to find that it’s often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage. So many couples get divorced these days, because of neglect and to a large extent disrespect.

If you choose to put him first, you will find a lot of joy.

4. Withholding physical affection
Men crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline intimacy, it wears on them. Sex should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God.

It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you — and you only. Even though you might not always be in the mood, it’s worth it to give in (unless you are sick) and spend that time bonding.

5. Not speaking his language
Don’t waste your time giving subtle hints that he won’t understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don’t bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what’s wrong, don’t respond with “nothing” and then expect him to read your mind. Be open to your man and grow your marriage.

http://www.olufamous.com/2016/01/how-some-ladies-today-are-killing-their.html?m=1

so I read a book: created to be his helpmeet by Debi pearl just 500naira and every woman that reads that book and accept its principle will be transformed.

When there is another woman controlling your husbands, even if you are an Angel and do everything perfect they will still find faults. Only God can give a Good Husband. Even women with worse characters get the Best Men as Husband.

valarinz:
How many have u learnt?

As much as you can imagine.

scarletpearl:
so I read a book: created to be his helpmeet by Debi pearl just 500naira and every woman that reads that book and accept its principle will be transformed.

helpmate! What do you understand by the word,'helpmate? After reading the book of course.

HBD

marggy:
Tanks OP, am guilty of no5 I will adjust

What about the men that destroy their own marriages without knowing it and some even when they know that what they do affects their home they still keep doing it ...