₦airaland Forum

The truth is, your family lost the court case, and probably refused to honor the court orders. You were forcefully evicted.

Your father might have done the same if he was in the other family's shoes.

Nonetheless, I believe your brother should know the family he's marrying from.
Whatever he decides to do after that shouldn't be anyone's business.
He shouldn't be coerced to leave the girl or to stay with her.

It should simply be his decision.

If he loves her enough, they should pull through, and if he doesn't well the better for both of them if he calls it off.

OP, first of all give the girl the benefit of doubt. Find out what she knows about the court case ie if she supported, was against it or indifferent to it. It will make you understand the type of person she is. Then you can decide if you can tell your brotherr the truth, knowing that he can lose a good woman. Don't make the daughter pay for the sins of the father.

Also, if you must tell him, use discretion. I believe there's a way to tell him what happened without turning him against the girl.
I'd still prefer if you listen to your parents and forgive. It might sound as if you deceived your brother but honour your parents first!

hmmm timidapsin come see oh

I think I support the OP. I would probably do the same if not worse if someone ever treated my family this way. A physical attack on my parents is synonymous with a personal attack on me. Your brother has to know at least, whether or not he decides to continue with the wedding is up to him, but he certainly has to know!!!


I can't watch you attack my own family and stay quiet for life. God himself will understand.

Tell your bro the whole truth. And if he decides to marry her, thats his own. Your choice your decision

I won't blame op oop,what if the said lady will do the samething her parents did??

SSpeter:
I know this might not be totally right but at least it will make me feel great. Egbon wants to get married in march and automatically I will become the best Man. But I don't want him to get married to her. It is not because of her but the dad.

It all started back in 1998 my dad was having a court case with our supposed in-law over our house. The house was sold to my dad by the late late brother of our supposed in-law. That was even before my dad got married. We have lived in that house for more than 10yrs. My siblings and I were born there. After the death of the brother in 1998 he dragged my dad to court saying his brother was only a benefactor and does not have the legal right to sell the building and their late father made him the executor of His properties according to the late father's will. My parents were partners in business and their office was located at the ground floor of the building where we lived. Their goods were also stored there (plumbing equipment).

Prior to joining the plumbing business, my dad was into commercial inter-state transport services after suffering heavy losses he auctioned what was left and joined my mum in the plumbing business. A year later he was in court with our supposed in-law. The legal battle started in December. Egbon travelled with an aunt of mine who had won a visa lottery the previous year. My sisters were older than the guys. they were already in boarding school. I was the king of the house. My dad suffered many embarrassment at the hands of our supposed in-law. He dragged the case for some years money meant for business ended up in legal battles. My dad had to borrow to pay suppliers. He couldn't not order for new materials anymore and the business eventually collapsed. Extended families gave their support until 2003 when a lagos high court handed our supposed in-law victory

My dad wanted to appeal the judgement but his lawyer told him to get an apartment with whatever he has left. Although my parents thought they hid everything from us. Perhaps my sisters didn't notice because they were not always home but I saw my mum cry severally. I saw the fears in my dad eyes. I listened to their whispering at night I knew we were doomed. Our supposed In-law sold the house to a bank. The bank gave two weeks to evacuate. But before the notice expired they brought sledge hammer and started destroying the building with our properties in it. My dad tried to protest but he was beaten and arrested. For the first time I saw our "Supposed In-law" that day ordering the boys to destroy everything. My dad was later released days after. I went to live with my cousins. My sisters also went to live with my other cousins.

In 2006 I wrote a mail to Egbon I narrated all that happened to him and he vowed he was going to ensure that they payed for it dearly. Few years later, I got admission into the university my parents embraced christ; But I still feel bitter. How time flies, my sisters are both married and it's just me preparing for the life of a bachelor; Until recently my brother told me his plans of getting married, I noticed it because he has visited us more than usual last year and had extensive discussions with my parents. But whenever He came back He still promised my dad that he will never forget all that happened. My dad told him that was in the past but I know what my brother was capable of doing as regards family.

He brought his supposed girl friend (I believe that is all she will ever be) to the house last christmas everyone welcomed her but immediately I set my eyes on her, she looked like the man that was giving orders to tear down our house. I asked her for her surname, when she said ****US, I knew she was the daughter of our long time enemy. When they left, my mum and dad begged me that I shouldn't say anything. That they have forgiven him. She invited my parents and I during the new year but I declined. I have also told my brother I can't be his best man. He thought am joking cos it was via mail. My brother had assured me severally whenever I told him what became of us after then that incident and he told me "I will give up anything to deal with the Man that messed with my family". I guess I will have to tell him the whole truth. But my parents keep calling me every single day to beg. "Saying I should not bring him misery. That they were happy he decided to bring home a cool headed lady".....But I just can't let it go. Unless my brother and I will decide not to be brothers anymore because I will never go to his house if he marries her. I will never associate myself with him or anything that has to do with him.

I have finished typing the truth I want to send the mail to him...I don't know why I am hesitating (I guess my parents will forgive me sooner or later) but he has to know the truth!!!!....i can't dine with my enemy!.....I don't want to see her dad face again....never...I hope am doing the right thing....i think I am.....perhaps I am...

kul..let her father feel the pain that his daughter did not get marride to her dream man because of his selfishness and wickedness

listen young man (eyinjuege)you are killing yourself. the worst of it all is your brother won't marry her(good riddance because you sound to me like someone who can go the extent of poisoning her if she finally gets married to your brother) but you would still be bitter .

this lady is not her father you might be surprise she knows nothing about that incident and also you might be shocked how kind a person she is..

if I were you,I will go straight to her and tell her,that way you rid yourself of the hate consuming you. and she starts her marriage in peace. remember a clear conscience is good for the soul

Have u ever come across the word FORGIVENESS? Its had but when you see that your family has moved on from what happened,you should do same. God is the only judge,whatever a man sows that is what he shall reap. Think wisely and not selfish-ly

eyinjuege:
The truth is, your family lost the court case, and probably refused to honor the court orders. You were forcefully evicted.

Your father might have done the same if he was in the other family's shoes.

Nonetheless, I believe your brother should know the family he's marrying from.
Whatever he decides to do after that shouldn't be anyone's business.
He shouldn't be coerced to leave the girl or to stay with her.

It should simply be his decision.

If he loves her enough, they should pull through, and if he doesn't well the better for both of them if he calls it off.

I agree 100% with this submission

SSpeter:
I know this might not be totally right but at least it will make me feel great. Egbon wants to get married in march and automatically I will become the best Man. But I don't want him to get married to her. It is not because of her but the dad.

It all started back in 1998 my dad was having a court case with our supposed in-law over our house. The house was sold to my dad by the late late brother of our supposed in-law. That was even before my dad got married. We have lived in that house for more than 10yrs. My siblings and I were born there. After the death of the brother in 1998 he dragged my dad to court saying his brother was only a benefactor and does not have the legal right to sell the building and their late father made him the executor of His properties according to the late father's will. My parents were partners in business and their office was located at the ground floor of the building where we lived. Their goods were also stored there (plumbing equipment).

Prior to joining the plumbing business, my dad was into commercial inter-state transport services after suffering heavy losses he auctioned what was left and joined my mum in the plumbing business. A year later he was in court with our supposed in-law. The legal battle started in December. Egbon travelled with an aunt of mine who had won a visa lottery the previous year. My sisters were older than the guys. they were already in boarding school. I was the king of the house. My dad suffered many embarrassment at the hands of our supposed in-law. He dragged the case for some years money meant for business ended up in legal battles. My dad had to borrow to pay suppliers. He couldn't not order for new materials anymore and the business eventually collapsed. Extended families gave their support until 2003 when a lagos high court handed our supposed in-law victory

My dad wanted to appeal the judgement but his lawyer told him to get an apartment with whatever he has left. Although my parents thought they hid everything from us. Perhaps my sisters didn't notice because they were not always home but I saw my mum cry severally. I saw the fears in my dad eyes. I listened to their whispering at night I knew we were doomed. Our supposed In-law sold the house to a bank. The bank gave two weeks to evacuate. But before the notice expired they brought sledge hammer and started destroying the building with our properties in it. My dad tried to protest but he was beaten and arrested. For the first time I saw our "Supposed In-law" that day ordering the boys to destroy everything. My dad was later released days after. I went to live with my cousins. My sisters also went to live with my other cousins.

In 2006 I wrote a mail to Egbon I narrated all that happened to him and he vowed he was going to ensure that they payed for it dearly. Few years later, I got admission into the university my parents embraced christ; But I still feel bitter. How time flies, my sisters are both married and it's just me preparing for the life of a bachelor; Until recently my brother told me his plans of getting married, I noticed it because he has visited us more than usual last year and had extensive discussions with my parents. But whenever He came back He still promised my dad that he will never forget all that happened. My dad told him that was in the past but I know what my brother was capable of doing as regards family.

He brought his supposed girl friend (I believe that is all she will ever be) to the house last christmas everyone welcomed her but immediately I set my eyes on her, she looked like the man that was giving orders to tear down our house. I asked her for her surname, when she said ****US, I knew she was the daughter of our long time enemy. When they left, my mum and dad begged me that I shouldn't say anything. That they have forgiven him. She invited my parents and I during the new year but I declined. I have also told my brother I can't be his best man. He thought am joking cos it was via mail. My brother had assured me severally whenever I told him what became of us after then that incident and he told me "I will give up anything to deal with the Man that messed with my family". I guess I will have to tell him the whole truth. But my parents keep calling me every single day to beg. "Saying I should not bring him misery. That they were happy he decided to bring home a cool headed lady".....But I just can't let it go. Unless my brother and I will decide not to be brothers anymore because I will never go to his house if he marries her. I will never associate myself with him or anything that has to do with him.

I have finished typing the truth I want to send the mail to him...I don't know why I am hesitating (I guess my parents will forgive me sooner or later) but he has to know the truth!!!!....i can't dine with my enemy!.....I don't want to see her dad face again....never...I hope am doing the right thing....i think I am.....perhaps I am...

Just let go

IamLEGEND1:
Ruin their relationship.
We dey ur back.

lol...funny

Those kind of things can be painful and unforgiving,infact it might cause u to misbehave 2wards dat lady but bro,u don't have a choice dan to let it pass.

jopretty:
And after doing that you'll feel ok, right? Have you thought of how your brother will feel if your action finally destroys his relationship? Guy, your parents have forgiven them, do so for peace to reign. Pls.

if am d guy, I will tell dat gal dat same day dat her father is nt worth having as in-law. obinrin buruku se fe sugbon ana buruku ni ko se ni

Has anybody considered what will happen if both fathers set their eyes on each other during introduction or engagement?

Bro, I will prefer you explain everything to your brother but make sure the intent is not for him to break up with the girl but to satisfy your conscience. The final decision lies with your brother

You need to do this because your brother has to forgive his in-law from the depth of his heart in order to forestall impending marriage dissolution..... My humble submission.

Creamish:
Why is it that children pay for their parent's sins?

AUNTY.....na so Bible talk am.

He is your brother isn't he? Talk to him about it. The whole thing may b simpler than you think.

Gosh what a story if na me I will do the same ooo truth to be told..seeing your mum cry is just unforgettable

Two options avail you..

*Tell him the truth

*or allow him marry the gal so that u can deal a blow to the family by killing her...(people might spit for this) but if u intend hurting the family bring her close nd deal to final blow to ur enemies..

avalontony:
AUNTY.....na so Bible talk am.

lol so true

OP, tell your brother everything, from A to Z. To make tins worst if ur brother's fiancée inherited her father's wickedness, ur brother is so-so done for.

Bitterness is a terrible thing, desist from it because it ruins lives and destroys relationships

My guy, the truth must not be hidden. Let him know the truth and if he still decides to go ahead with his plans of marrying her then so be it.
No one should force you to associate with what you don't want to. He deserves to know the truth except there is more to it that your parents are hiding.

themilanway:
Call a family meeting that involves your parent,married sisters and your brother.

Tell every one present your findings about who the girl in question is and ask them to verify your claim from your parents.

Tell your brother to his face that you won't be part of his marriage to the girl but that doesn't change or stop your love for him.

Also let him know that you are not making decision for him regarding whether he marry the girl or not,you are only setting the record straight for prosperity.

The decisio on whether to forgive and forget should your brother against your expectation goes ahead with the marriage lies only with you.

Then again,be prepared to be held responsible if your brother meets your expectation and decides to dump the girl and some how cant/couldnt get a direct replacement or replica of the afore mentioned girl.

Its a two edge sword.

An igbo parable says"The mind is a bag".

May good reasoning and wisdom guide you

thank you wise one

Bigmarx:
I think parents are just being emotional....that guy should know

I share in your opinion brother.
The guy deserves to know the truth.

eyinjuege:
The truth is, your family lost the court case, and probably refused to honor the court orders. You were forcefully evicted.

Your father might have done the same if he was in the other family's shoes.

Nonetheless, I believe your brother should know the family he's marrying from.
Whatever he decides to do after that shouldn't be anyone's business.
He shouldn't be coerced to leave the girl or to stay with her.

It should simply be his decision.

If he loves her enough, they should pull through, and if he doesn't well the better for both of them if he calls it off.

This is it, the exact thing to do. YOU MUST Tell your brother about the whole truth but DO NOT /advice ir force him to leave her. Let him decide.

Your parents are right. You are WRONG!!!
You are pursuing a personal vendetta and you want to ruin your brothers joy.
The courts ruled in the case, that means that the man who sold the house to your dad erred. You should hold him and his family responsible, especially if you claim the original owner had a will.

Listen, am having the same problem now and I am going to court. My late father wrote a will and gave me, a big landed property, just like he gave my other siblings. I live abroad and before I came back, my oldest brother (first son) had sold more than 30 plots from the land. He claimed he is the first son and had the right to sell, despite a will from our father the owner of the property.
I will have my day in court and the people he sold the land to should not see me as the enemy.

Let your brother have his happiness. Your parents probably know a lot more about the transaction than you do.
Let peace reign.

abeg dis epistle too long, i wan go sleep nit don com

Some people are hypocrites.

My honest advise for you is that you inform your brother. Your parents are making a big mistake for not telling him the truth. He deserves the truth.

Your parents were the one who forgave her family, your brother should be allowed to decide if to forgive them too or not.

Their duty is to inform him and plead with him to let the matter go. What happened back then changed your family forever, hence it isn't a thing to be waved a away like that.

Change ur mindset of ruining there relationship @OP, I dnt agree with you on that. I support you telling your bro. If ur bro loves her, he will forgive her family nd marry her. Its not ur decision to make.

What your parents are trying to do is good but in the wrong way which makes all wrong. He shouldn't be scammed or deceived to marry. He deserves the truth. It would be an act of betrayal by his family if he find out later in marriage. He may never forgive u or ur parent....

Some of you who have never experience what a fellow human can do to you will say forgive. Anyone who throws another person out of a house just because he has upper hand, is as evil as the devil.

I speak from experience. My mother's sister once told us to leave her house, same woman who benefited heavily from my mother when even their own dad died. My mum being the first child took responsibility of over 4 of her siblings.

That image has been with me ever since. Now my aunt is dead broke and was crying that we should not abandon her and her only daughter. Just last week here, the daughter was bugging my younger sister for money. I vehemently told her not to give any money but she pleaded with me to let her give since our elder sister already got in.

Fvck that shit... I give what you give me.

SSpeter:
I know this might not be totally right but at least it will make me feel great. Egbon wants to get married in march and automatically I will become the best Man. But I don't want him to get married to her. It is not because of her but the dad.

It all started back in 1998 my dad was having a court case with our supposed in-law over our house. The house was sold to my dad by the late late brother of our supposed in-law. That was even before my dad got married. We have lived in that house for more than 10yrs. My siblings and I were born there. After the death of the brother in 1998 he dragged my dad to court saying his brother was only a benefactor and does not have the legal right to sell the building and their late father made him the executor of His properties according to the late father's will. My parents were partners in business and their office was located at the ground floor of the building where we lived. Their goods were also stored there (plumbing equipment).

Prior to joining the plumbing business, my dad was into commercial inter-state transport services after suffering heavy losses he auctioned what was left and joined my mum in the plumbing business. A year later he was in court with our supposed in-law. The legal battle started in December. Egbon travelled with an aunt of mine who had won a visa lottery the previous year. My sisters were older than the guys. they were already in boarding school. I was the king of the house. My dad suffered many embarrassment at the hands of our supposed in-law. He dragged the case for some years money meant for business ended up in legal battles. My dad had to borrow to pay suppliers. He couldn't not order for new materials anymore and the business eventually collapsed. Extended families gave their support until 2003 when a lagos high court handed our supposed in-law victory

My dad wanted to appeal the judgement but his lawyer told him to get an apartment with whatever he has left. Although my parents thought they hid everything from us. Perhaps my sisters didn't notice because they were not always home but I saw my mum cry severally. I saw the fears in my dad eyes. I listened to their whispering at night I knew we were doomed. Our supposed In-law sold the house to a bank. The bank gave two weeks to evacuate. But before the notice expired they brought sledge hammer and started destroying the building with our properties in it. My dad tried to protest but he was beaten and arrested. For the first time I saw our "Supposed In-law" that day ordering the boys to destroy everything. My dad was later released days after. I went to live with my cousins. My sisters also went to live with my other cousins.

In 2006 I wrote a mail to Egbon I narrated all that happened to him and he vowed he was going to ensure that they payed for it dearly. Few years later, I got admission into the university my parents embraced christ; But I still feel bitter. How time flies, my sisters are both married and it's just me preparing for the life of a bachelor; Until recently my brother told me his plans of getting married, I noticed it because he has visited us more than usual last year and had extensive discussions with my parents. But whenever He came back He still promised my dad that he will never forget all that happened. My dad told him that was in the past but I know what my brother was capable of doing as regards family.

He brought his supposed girl friend (I believe that is all she will ever be) to the house last christmas everyone welcomed her but immediately I set my eyes on her, she looked like the man that was giving orders to tear down our house. I asked her for her surname, when she said ****US, I knew she was the daughter of our long time enemy. When they left, my mum and dad begged me that I shouldn't say anything. That they have forgiven him. She invited my parents and I during the new year but I declined. I have also told my brother I can't be his best man. He thought am joking cos it was via mail. My brother had assured me severally whenever I told him what became of us after then that incident and he told me "I will give up anything to deal with the Man that messed with my family". I guess I will have to tell him the whole truth. But my parents keep calling me every single day to beg. "Saying I should not bring him misery. That they were happy he decided to bring home a cool headed lady".....But I just can't let it go. Unless my brother and I will decide not to be brothers anymore because I will never go to his house if he marries her. I will never associate myself with him or anything that has to do with him.

I have finished typing the truth I want to send the mail to him...I don't know why I am hesitating (I guess my parents will forgive me sooner or later) but he has to know the truth!!!!....i can't dine with my enemy!.....I don't want to see her dad face again....never...I hope am doing the right thing....i think I am.....perhaps I am...

Is this from a movie?


Wooow!!!

What a coincidence though.
The father in law may not even subscribe to his daughter getting married to your bro.

I guess he doesn't know too