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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home (65448 Views)
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Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by MKO4ever(m): 1:36pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
All I can see here is that Favour is the son while Afam is the father. In Accounting, it is called Economic Substance over Legal Form 1 Like |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by macino1(m): 1:37pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Not really an advisable way for marriage. Though, life always have away of pushing a man far from his heart. I doubt if any man will wish that kind of a home intensionally. Well, for those living with their spouse. Please give her the best of care. Click to know more: www.nairaland.com/2852801/top-secret-make-stick-love 2 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by hollywater: 1:37pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Even if the man carry her wife to abroad, a cheating woman will still cheat her husband in abroad. As of the children, it is better they grow up here in Nigeria and move to abroad at the age of 16,17 my opinion. 7 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by ronald4lif(m): 1:38pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Some circumstances neccesitate men to leave their wives home and travel abroad. Some men marries and bring their wives abroad and this women on realising the many crazy laws that seeks to empower women will start misbehaving. Some go as far as kicking the men out of their homes. Why would other men not learn from such mistakes and leave their women in Nigeria? 7 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by onatisi(m): 1:42pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
This is a very sensitive topic and subject but we must understand the necessities that makes a man leave his loved ones . If he stays behind and isn't able to cater for the wife and kids ,the situation will be worse 8 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by onatisi(m): 1:44pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
hollywater:abroad is even too far. If you stay with a woman 17hrs a day that doesn't stop her from cheating on her husband which is gradually becoming a fashion and norm now in Nigeria among married women whose husband can't fulfill all family financial responsibilities 6 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by MsGlobalwonder(f): 1:45pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
praxisnetworks:seriously, nothing beats having your man warm your bed everyday, always. The breathe, the warmth, the peace... I can go on and on. That is how I want mine to be and so shall it be. |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by scachy(m): 1:48pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Randyhot: Nice article, but my brother this life is mysterious. There's two sides to every coin.I neither support people to abandon their wives n kids at home y abroad , nor stay close to them n watch them die of hunger n starvation. But The bottom line is that if u must travel abroad n u know that u r married, pls endeavor to visit home at least once in a yr to see ur family, u must not make 100 million naira before visiting home.sometimes money is not what dey need to be happy, they need that ur special love as their dad n ur wife needs u too. She's a human not stick. I pity young ladies(faithful ones ooo) that their hubby stays abroad cos some unfaithful ones r even wishing that their hubby never visit home as long he keeps showering her with money every now n then. But what can a man do? Life is hard n we all got to survive. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by onatisi(m): 1:50pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
MsGlobalwonder:then pray he gets a good job and money because if not,after 2 years with rising cost of financial responsibilities,you will be the one to tell him to go and look for job anywhere in the world . The smell of money will be the only thing u will want 10 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by justmenoni: 1:52pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
I totally agree with you, but if you tell them they might swallow you... Whats the point in living separately some even do this just cos of the papers and when you get the so called papers it might not be useful for you in bringing ur Nigeria family over as you got the said papers through your sham or marriage of convenience... There are people who hv abandoned their families for over 10,20 or 30 years I mean who does that..does it mean u are still looking for money or is it the paper?? At least if d paper doesn't work but the money is there then relocate ur family to wherever u are or relocate to wherever they are... The most painful thing ia that the women are usually at the receiving end and they dare not cheat otherwise their hubby's family will eat her..meanwhile the husband is servicing different kongos ooo quote author=Yomieluv post=42111929]Why marry when the intent is to live apart? Had a friend then whose father came home once a year then while we were in secondary school. Father and mother's presence has a role in the psyche of a child development. Never marry if you plan staying apart. I grew up in a broken home,i know the effect on me. When other kids are saying things their dad did for them,i always look like a drunk goat with nothing to say. Till today,i see my dad as a stranger in my life. Nothing beats living under same Roof with both parents.[/quote] 1 Like |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by FaithyGal(f): 1:56pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Its not wrong to want a better life for your self and children, but leaving them for so many years for me is not proper at all. Every child needs a father around, to direct. A Mom can't do everything. A woman always needs her husband. |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by HaneefahRN(f): 1:58pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Randyhot:It is pathetic really. I can't allow such for my husband o, if we can't go together then he is nt going anywhere. I can't allow someone to turn me to semi- married at a young age. There is one of my aunt whose husband travelled over 11yrs ago when their 2nd born was still a baby, the girl is 13 nw, and she has never met her dad other than phone calls. Certainly a man will not stay tht long wtout sex, that's if he has nt married yet, he keeps delaying his wife's coming to join him, and refuses to come home, claiming he can't afford to while not allowing tht beautiful woman go on wt her life wt someone else. Something with one of our neighbours, the man left Nigeria over 20yrs ago and never came back to check on his wife and children not even when the children were getting married other than phone calls once in a while. One of my friend's husband also travelled out soon after their marriage, this is the 4th yr since she last saw him, I pray he comes back soon sha and doesn't waste her time. What sort of life is tht abeg? 1 Like |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Feranchek(m): 2:01pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
EggovinMma: I'm pretty sure you're not a Catholic |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Nobody: 2:06pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
[[s]b]Afam is a good christian, with strong morality, who knows if he hadn't be, what might had become his thoughts towards that young lonely woman. Or take for instance, nature plays her sweet tricks on the young wife one cold night, and the imaginations of Afam's handsome physique, and the way he played lovingly with Favour in his arms calling him "daddy" takes over her senses, and she began to approach him, yearning for his touch , don't get mad or start fighting people, FIGHT YOURSELF FIRST.[/b][/s]TRASH Not arguing with the topic. Do you think every woman is this way? Are you 'hyping' Afam or something? Should he be praised for doing business with a 'lonely woman' Abegoooooooo Being ALONE [/b]shouldn't be seen by peeps to being [b]LONELY |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by fatigah(m): 2:07pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
There is always two side to a coin, just pray that GOD blessed your marriage , and give you grace and wisdom. |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by helovesme(f): 2:10pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
onatisi: you are the only reasonable, sensible and realistic person that has commented so far on this thread 9 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Nobody: 2:13pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by abbey621(m): 2:14pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
When people get married, they are taking an oath for better or worse. In the struggle for survival, life sometimes forces you to make a decision such as parting with your family for sometime just to make a better way, would such a person choose to watch things get progressively worse or sacrifice now in order not to regret later. Of course life isn't perfect, sh*t happens and plans don't work out but not trying at all is the biggest mistake one can make. For men who are afraid that if they left their wife alone for sometime she would cheat or become frustrated, I say to such men would such a woman not cheat or become frustrated if you couldn't afford to take care of her needs or you became inept? For women claiming the kids would be deprived of their father's love, I say to them would it not be worse watching the kids go through life not able to provide for their basic amenities? This world is a jungle, many of us must move out of our comfort zone in other to provide for those we love. Eat or be eaten! 10 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Feranchek(m): 2:15pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
EggovinMma: Maybe.... As as how Lol |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by martineverest(m): 2:20pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
MsGlobalwonder:that's the best....i don't fancy distant marriage...i would rather marry in a place where I reside |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by bookface: 2:26pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
onatisi: I will rather stay and hustle wherever i am than leave my kids behind. Time is too precious to waste it on frivolities like the search for money - no one survives in the end anyway. Most men forget that they need their kids more than their kids need them. What's the point growing old one day and not having a single memory of your kids growing up? No dinner time jokes, no holidays together - nothing! It's just a waste of a life. Time is the only thing you have, and time is the only thing you don't have. 3 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by helovesme(f): 2:28pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
abbey621: Another very realistic and sensible comment. kudos ! 1 Like |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by onatisi(m): 2:34pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
bookface:When you get married and have kids ,you will understand better. Just pray you have all the financial means to take care if them adequately. Don't criticize those who travel. Different strokes for different ppl 8 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Billygee2u: 2:37pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Randyhot: |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Socketbet: 2:45pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Don't mind them, they don't knw that their wife's thing will be scratching them |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Billygee2u: 2:47pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
abbey621:you are being logical. have you traveled to abroad before? my humble advice to you and others in Africa who are nursing the idea to leave leave your wives to go abroad for greener pasture is ,better forget the idea and use the money to engage in one legitimate business and God who says he that findeth a wife findeth good thing and obtain favor from the Lord,will surely bless your hustle. God made them to be one and not two by separation. what God join together,let no one put asunder. 1 Like |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by onatisi(m): 2:50pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Billygee2u:maybe you should swap places. Why don't u come to Nigeria,start from the scratch and be earning like 25k a month or 30k with 2 kids and a wife to cater for . Then see if you wont travel out of naija if given the opportunity. 6 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by bfatoba(m): 3:07pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
abbey621: Seconded... Great minds are calculative and predictive... they plan for future event and take minor sacrifices to avoid considerable losses. OP is not a progressively thinking individual... culturally, we see that all the time, even when your father is around, everyman who visits your place and is related closely to your dad is "your Daddy".... I grew up in that family described by OP and I have nothing but RESPECT for my Father and Admiration for my mother. In the course of your life, as a man, wherever life takes you to provide a better FUTURE for your children, you go. Animals do it for their offsprings, Birds do it for theirs. The sad truth is that the same kids you stay with will eventually resent you for not giving them a better chance. I praise all Fathers who have gone far and wide in trying their best at creating a better future for their family. OP aren't there successful families whose wives cheat with the husband being present in Nigeria. In a country where there are more hotels than Churches and Mosques, I'm very sure the people making use of them aren't just single, lonely, married women. OP just so we are clear here, whenever the opportunity arises for you to go out of your country for a better Job, that will automatically transition to a better life for you and your family, Please do not take it. and tell your wife too.. you won't take it... if she is half a virtuous woman.. she will beg you to take it. @Randyhot 6 Likes |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Nobody: 3:10pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
I know of one that after his wedding in 2012, he hasn't returned home. His wife was heavily pregant when he left for his base in S.A . We all thought after delivery aunty chi will join the husband. Up till today the man hasn't returned. Aunty had to relocate to a Abuja with the son, how she lives her life there nobody knows. Long distance dating no dey sweet, not to talk of marriage. 1 Like |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by abbey621(m): 3:13pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Billygee2u: I've been living in Atlanta since 2010 so spare me the lecture! My father came to the USA in the 1980s living behind my mom and 2 children. Before he left 9ja, we were all living in a face me and face you house struggling to survive, he just lost his job with NEPA and things were very difficult, imagine what would have happened if he had refused to use his Oluwole visa and chose to stay back in Nigeria? Yes, he suffered a great deal abroad including marrying an obese woman just to get his papers but it all worked out in the end. It took 6 to 7 years for him to fully get himself and in the 10th year he brought my mom to the USA. Looking at their net worth today, I would say they are valued at over 1/2 a billion naira collectively and all was through hard work. My brother and I had to live without both parents for some time but in the end, we are all successful living life to the fullest. What would have happened if dad chose comfort instead of hustling? Be careful how you to talk to people on the internet, some people have been through more than you can ever imagine! 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by Nobody: 3:15pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
abbey621:If the father/ husband can make it a duty to come bk and see his family atleast 3times a year. no matter how bad things are for him over there. Or make arrangements for the family to join him. 1 Like |
Re: When You Stay Abroad And Leave Your Wife And Little Kids Back Home by abbey621(m): 3:20pm On Jan 19, 2016 |
Adaobi12: It's not as easy as you think, only successful business people and shady crooks can travel 3 times a year from abroad to 9ja, the financial cost alone is humongous! A well thinking wife will be contented if he comes home once or twice in 2 years, most can't even come home at all within the first 3 years because they traveled on visiting visa and must hustle before they can get working papers. |
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