₦airaland Forum

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pcguru1:
Big deal, so what 4 months, you're not the only person went through that phase and I will tell you what my mom and others told me, you can either wallow in depression or go out and do something even if it doesn't pay well. The first step to getting opportunities is to stop staying indoors and meeting people. Whether you are a failure or not that's up to you to decide. Pity party helps no one and didn't solve anything for me when I kept putting myself down what solved my problem was confiding in people. So the onus is upon you.

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sheilak:
This is her marriage

What is the essence of marriage if you are far worse off than what you would have been of you were single or living with your parents.

Marriage ke wrong thread

sheilak:
.

WTH how is this about marriage and OP is male did you read the topic ?

pcguru1:
WTH how is this about marriage and OP is male did you read the topic ?

Wrong thread

sheilak:
Wrong thread

No p Bro

Enoquin:
I think it's better you failed when you did. I also think it's good you are learning about depression now, and will soon find ways to overcome it. Imagine, if you sailed through life smoothly and then had a bump, when you had dependents (wife and children), it'd sure be harder. So, count your blessings.

Secondly, your brother isn't telling you what you aren't already telling yourself. When your GPA dropped, you subconsciously felt you weren't 'good' and it projected and clung to you like a cloak.

There are always going to be curves thrown at you by life, will you get depressed everytime? When you wake everyday, what are your thoughts? Are there other siblings you would rather stay with? What conscious efforts are you making at moving from where you are now? When you come online, do you scour job sites or even the NL job section?

Your temporary lack of a job is nothing. The scalding words from your brother and others are nothing, but you, you are everything. So, what will you do about you?

Thank you for this beautiful comment Enoquin. Pregnant words. Oh I'll definitely do something about me. Thank you

shizzy7:
Seriously, You want to loose just because of that?? I laugh...

You have no idea what other people have been going through even some here on NL??
If you're loosing your mind because of this kolobo challenge, I pirry you?

What can I say. Thank you. I've stopped pitying me though, you should too

raumdeuter:
Guy relax. Nothing do you. I understand perfectly what you are saying because I also went to Ife, was in the same Faculty as you and I saw a lot of stories similar to yours. In my set there were several students who were geniuses in their secondary school up till Ife. Some from Federal govt colleges some from Suleja academy all very brilliant people who experienced failure for the first time in their life in OAU.

The good news is that I sense you are a smart guy and would eventually succeed. I know ppl even colleagues who had first class but encountered their own challenge in getting a job. You had a 3.2 CGPA after facing Prof Adegboyega, Dr Osas , Prof Kuku, Prof Adeniran etc then you don try

So get up from the self pity, Pick yourself up. Get something doing. Go to all UME centers around you and offer to teach. Start teaching

That was what I did immediately after NYSC until I got a job. Also dont get depressed. drink a little alcohol to make yourself happy, go watch ball, hang out with friends, go find babe to nackk, Go gist and argue with friends just live life normally

As you do all these something would definitely show


Even all your colleagues who had 2-1 how many don get jobs now?

A million thanks bro, you obviously understand

baby124:
That is life. Only very few go through life without struggle. Some struggle in their young age and learn from it, others experience failure and their old age and most never recover. As someone who has been humbled by failure, I am grateful when I failed, it was when I was young.
Now I see failure as an opportunity to redo what I failed at. I go back to the drawing board and restrategize. Look at this life as a journey, filled with twists and turns. At the end of the day we will all turn to dust. So why not exploit the challenges and roll with the tide your effort brings. If you see life this way, you will laugh at yourself when you fail. You will see failure as a possible solution to a problem or an opportunity to create a solution to a problem, that will result in your breakthrough.
In this life you must never rest on your oars if you want to be successful. It is a constant struggle and you can not give up. So dust yourself up and stop pitying yourself. There is no place in the world for a lazy man, or someone who thinks the world must work in his favour.
Everyone else is busy struggling to make their dreams a reality. You might have been a star at a very young age, but those average students who probably did better than you are used to working very hard and not just relying on intelligence.
You have gotten to the part of life where you learn that intelligence is not enough. You must also work hard to get what you want. Manna will never just fall down from heaven for you.

Make sure you block your mind from negative people and leave negative environments. Go out and do jobs below you. Gather money and rent a room or share a flat with your friend. Being independent is the fastest way to success because you know you cannot afford to fail.

Wise words, thank you very much

MrsPhyno:
Eeyah. I'm sorry I don't have anything better to say, advice-wise. You're smart anyways so you don't need it, I trust you will figure it out. Anyways my philosophy is to be a realistic optimist. As far as you're doing the right thing for now, things will not only get better, they will be the way they were always meant to be and you will be happy. Take care of yourself.

You've said more than enough ma'am, thank you very much for those words

Mindfulness:
Life is the best teacher and teaches all of us. It must be.
No, you don't deserve it and I am sure and will be sure.

I am happy you feel better. It is possible to feel much better though. You can get there step by step. I am speaking from experience.

Thank you very much, you've been of great help

Yinkahlite:
OP, if you are really serious about getting up from where you are, PM me.

Mind you, I gat no job or money to offer you but I will teach you something that will make your brother look up to you for assistance. Thank you

I believe that "something" is more important right now. I've sent you a PM. Thanks so much for your concern

TheArchangel:
Chaii, bro if failure writes like you do then failure has a good thing going for him. Wth, I cannot even construct a 1/3 of this mindboggling piece and I ain't battling failure and depression.
Same thing they are telling you is what I am being told since January. Yesterday, I cleaned up, armed with my CV I march on submitting till the copies I have with me were exhausted. Was lucky to have someone interview me on the spot to start as soon as possible. I was taken unawares, I was like, " so all this while I have my arse at home some people are waiting to utilise my services".
Get out there bro and keep on searching, let your brothers taunt be a source of motivation for you. Depression kills and I do not want you dead.

I took your advice. Today I stepped out, printed many copies of my CV and went off submitting. It's not the first time I'd do that but it was a whole new experience today. I had this drive that made me more persuasive and even though I didn't get as lucky as to be interviewed on the spot, I had a number of promising encounters.

favoured234:
I can say a thing about your situation sha.....

Damn you are a good writer, if I could write half as good as you I would have flooded nairaland with all my thoughts and had busy days reading and replying to comments

Thanks. You should still flood nairaland with those thoughts, I'd love to read them. Besides, you write way better than you think you do

An0nimus:
This is the best "I'm losing my mind" post I've read on Nairaland.

OP take it from me, you are smart. You just need to get your groove back.

I'm on my way to getting it back pal, thanks a bunch.

Lol @bolded. Thanks

ojeota:
@op please teach me how to construct and mix match words like you do.

The best advise for you is to move from your brothers house to a new environment.
Also stop lying to yourself and to your family.
Goodluck.

Thanks for the advice and the compliment

pcguru1:
Ohhhhhh i now understand your problem, you are not a failure you've never handled failure before that's why, Guy you no get wahala be that, in Programming getting used to things not working is actually a blessing because it lets you know how not to do things, failure comes with the package of success, not saying you will fail more but however you will experience it more but see it as something to learn from.

Don't disturb yourself you are a smart person i can tell already, sorry about the alcohol that's how i cope.

You will do well

Thank you very much bro, I owe you a bottle of your favorite drink

greysmith:
I took your advice. Today I stepped out, printed many copies of my CV and went off submitting. It's not the first time I'd do that but it was a whole new experience today. I had this drive that made me more persuasive and even though I didn't get as lucky as to be interviewed on the spot, I had a number of promising encounters.

So happy to hear that bro. Keep the spirit up and do not despair. We are getting there.

You looking for job? babe you are a good writer..you should start writing for people..there are alot of people that have great ideas to write about but are not so good with writing...be a freelance writer online..you will make money...I enjoyed your write-up though.

baby124:
That is life. Only very few go through life without struggle. Some struggle in their young age and learn from it, others experience failure and their old age and most never recover. As someone who has been humbled by failure, I am grateful when I failed, it was when I was young.
Now I see failure as an opportunity to redo what I failed at. I go back to the drawing board and restrategize. Look at this life as a journey, filled with twists and turns. At the end of the day we will all turn to dust. So why not exploit the challenges and roll with the tide your effort brings. If you see life this way, you will laugh at yourself when you fail. You will see failure as a possible solution to a problem or an opportunity to create a solution to a problem, that will result in your breakthrough.
In this life you must never rest on your oars if you want to be successful. It is a constant struggle and you can not give up. So dust yourself up and stop pitying yourself. There is no place in the world for a lazy man, or someone who thinks the world must work in his favour.
Everyone else is busy struggling to make their dreams a reality. You might have been a star at a very young age, but those average students who probably did better than you are used to working very hard and not just relying on intelligence.
You have gotten to the part of life where you learn that intelligence is not enough. You must also work hard to get what you want. Manna will never just fall down from heaven for you.

Make sure you block your mind from negative people and leave negative environments. Go out and do jobs below you. Gather money and rent a room or share a flat with your friend. Being independent is the fastest way to success because you know you cannot afford to fail

TRUE TALK @bolded