Pls i need advice from nairalanders, i finished my bsc in economics last year,i tried to get a meaniful job bt no where to be found,then i got a job in one company that pays 25k,i started,on january this year my gf told me dat her parent want to see me,i went to their house and her parent asked me what is my plan with their daughter and when are we getting marry since both of us are both 30yrs of age,yesterday my gf came and start pressurise me dat we should get marry b4 september this year,hmmm with my salary of 25k and still living with my parent,pls advice dont know what to do

Dude, its suicidal. I know both of you probably love each other but you gotta think with ya brain and not the heart. Financial independence is a prerequisite in marriage, and from your premises, you cant be financially independent if you marry her.

Make her know why you cant marry her now, she should know your worth and income. If She still insist on the marriage then please, quietly break up with her for your good and her own good.

Dont create a problem for yourself and the society at large. And to think that you will bring a child into this world after the marriage makes it more difficult. So please, avoid the conjugal bliss for now. I believe you are still young.

Bless!

Guys without girlfriends are always successful. Leave her to get married and fix your life first.

but on a serious note


How would you be 30


And still be relying on a salary of 30g's



Nigga!


Get an alternative



Start something else.



Yes, you can marry her


If you both love yourselves


She could be just the person and motivator you need!


#Adonis3HasSopken

herveze:
Pls i need advice from nairalanders, i finished my bsc in economics last year,i tried to get a meaniful job bt no where to be found,then i got a job in one company that pays 25k,i started,on january this year my gf told me dat her parent want to see me,i went to their house and her parent asked me what is my plan with their daughter and when are we getting marry since both of us are both 30yrs of age,yesterday my gf came and start pressurise me dat we should get marry b4 september this year,hmmm with my salary of 25k and still living with my parent,pls advice dont know what to do

so she is thirty and u dont want her to marry, why nt leave her to do so age is no more with her please.

Would I call this "being selfish" ...no offence sha,I won't be surprised if she leaves you for someone else...

Ask her how much she's bringing in towards the marriage.
Honestly love is not enough.If the pressure increases you will need to let her go.As a man,you need to fix yourself up first.

darkenkach:
Guys without girlfriends are always successful. Leave her to get married and fix your life first.

Thanks but i love this girl and the girl helped me a lot during my school days,i will feel sad and ungrateful if i leave her

herveze:

Thanks but i love this girl and the girl helped me a lot during my school days,i will feel sad and ungrateful if i leave her

You won't leave her but the situation you've found yourself might make her leave.

and how much is her salary? money is very important in marriage, it plays a vital role in a blissful union. why not talk to her and make her see reasons with you, you don't even have a house or will she move into your parents house after marriage?

@op, 25k is too small to maintain and sustain a family. Let your wife and her people realise that you love be her and will like to get married to her but love alone is not enough. Since age is already against her, I will suggest you let her go, sometimes, real love is about letting go.

FreemanDave:


Dude, its suicidal. I know both of you probably love each other but you gotta think with ya brain and not the heart. Financial independence is a prerequisite in marriage, and from your premises, you cant be financially independent if you marry her.

Make her know why you cant marry her now, she should know your worth and income. If She still insist on the marriage then please, quietly break up with her for your good and her own good.

Dont create a problem for yourself and the society at large. And to think that you will bring a child into this world after the marriage makes it more difficult. So please, avoid the conjugal bliss for now. I believe you are still young.

Bless!

Thanks for the advice,bt if i tell u dat i av also think abt leaving her this morning bt i dont av the boldness or copurage to do dat,and if i leave this girl i av feeling dat repercussion will come because this girl helped wen i was in school or did u av any idea on how to break up with a lady

herveze:

Thanks but i love this girl and the girl helped me a lot during my school days,i will feel sad and ungrateful if i leave her

But will you rather like to be termed "lazy and irresponsible" if you get married with such an amount as your salary and you're unable to meet up with your family needs.

I honestly pray that God make a way for you and get a better pay, but is she ready to wait for you till then?
Pray. persevere and be focused.

kunlesufyan:
Would I call this "being selfish" ...no offence sha,I won't be surprised if she leaves you for someone else...

That is my prayer o,dat if she leave on her own it will be better for me,bt if she leave me i dont know aw my life will look like

Explain to her parents, tell them about your financial problems, have seen couples that got blessed after marriage. Is your girl hard working? if she is, then marry her coz her determination will lead u to success.

herveze:

That is my prayer o,dat if she leave on her own it will be better for me,bt if she leave me i dont know aw my life will look like

Lol!!! Not true.. At this point just open your mind to any bull shit..so you won't be surprised when it happens... She hasn't left u,just sit her down and explain to her ..but wait oo...she herself no get work?

One sure thing. You are going to lose her.

herveze:

Thanks for the advice,bt if i tell u dat i av also think abt leaving her this morning bt i dont av the boldness or copurage to do dat,and if i leave this girl i av feeling dat repercussion will come because this girl helped wen i was in school or did u av any idea on how to break up with a lady

I fully understand your predicament. I am no counsellor, but I know this: you will have more repercussions to deal with if you marry her in this situation, it will make both parties regret. I know you are the one wearing the shoe so it won't be as easy as I make it seem, but it is the best/logical way out. You gotta summon the courage and prepare for the worse if it requires break-up...

Love isnt cheap bro, marriage especially.

If you had a house of your own,even s mini flat , I woulda said go for it!

Where would you guys live?
Is she working and what's her salary ?

25K is not a lot of money but o, if she's yours, she's gonna wait while you BOTH plan.

@op, seems both of you really love each other. Have you called her to explain your present financial status, if yes, how did she say she will cope, what are her suggestion s on how you guys are going to cope with such an amount in this present day Nigeria?
What are other things you think you can do to add more to what you're presently earning?
What is her her own work, since you say she's an understanding type, what's her own plan on how the home is going to be ran.
The truth is that, in this present day Nigeria, it's difficult to cope with such salary asca family, but with rugged determination from both of you, you can make it, even though, very difficult.

Horlufemi:
One sure thing. You are going to lose her.

Dont curse guy,By God grace i will nt, i blv in my hussle that b4 the day she mentioned i will make it

ifyalways:
If you had a house of your own,even s mini flat , I woulda said go for it!

Where would you guys live?
Is she working and what's her salary ?

25K is not a lot of money but o, if she's yours, she's gonna wait while you BOTH plan.

She is nt working yet bt she is staying with her mum at shop and making money for herself,she is hardworking and never ask for too much from me,she understand me a lot bt nw because of her age and pressure from her parent she doesnt want to understand my situation

You shouldn't be dating an old cargo in d first place. Look for a much younger girl who isn't desperate for marriage yet. If u eventually marry her, she would be d first to start disrespecting u if u can't provide.

herveze:

Dont curse guy,By God grace i will nt, i blv in my hussle that b4 the day she mentioned i will make it

I like your faith...And God will definitely pave a way for you so you can get married to the girl of your dreams.
Be optimistic and keep searching for a better job, let her learn a skill or two, so you can join resources together.
Some blessings come in marriage..wishing you the best of luck

zed7:
You shouldn't be dating an old cargo in d first place. Look for a much younger girl who isn't desperate for marriage yet. If u eventually marry her, she would be d first to start disrespecting u if u can't provide.

Why the insults bro? Isn't he free to love and date whoever he wants? Does age define people?
You don't even know when and how they started. ..

PresVA:
Why the insults bro? Isn't he free to love and date whoever he wants to? Does age define people?
You don't even know when and how they started. ..

Nice answer.

If she can learn a skill, or you both pull resources together and set up her a business for her, maybe her mum's line of business since she stays with her, she will as well be experienced in it. why you work harder and get another source of income, i believe within a year, with God on your side you both will have enough to foot the marriage bills and get an apartment. Try to convince her to see reasons with you. One can't blame the lady for being desperate to settle down.
The Lord is your strength.

herveze:

Dont curse guy,By God grace i will nt, i blv in my hussle that b4 the day she mentioned i will make it

I'm not, I was once in your situation once. You need to give her your long term plans. Do that before she meets someone else. Else you gonna lose her. She's a gonner already. Women and marriage.

Nawa . 30 years old still leaving with his parent on a 25k salary and wants to get married









Suicide mission

herveze:

She is nt working yet bt she is staying with her mum at shop and making money for herself,she is hardworking and never ask for too much from me,she understand me a lot bt nw because of her age and pressure from her parent she doesnt want to understand my situation

Honestly, I don't like discouraging people, but with this post, I'm afraid.
First, she's not yet working and you're earning just 25k.
Secondly, she's still staying with her parents and you too is still staying with your parents as well. Are you going to rent an apartment from your 25k?


Thirdly, Because of her age and pressure from her parents, she doesn't want to understand you again, but she knows that you earn only 25k in a month, how does she expect you both to cope?
My brother, love alone is not enough, she should be able to understand your conditions and take the marriage issue easy with you or ............


However, if you think you can both pull through, you can go ahead, but honestly, I'm afraid, and I hate hearing/reading bad stories about marriages.
May God open a better way for you in Jesus name.

Sit down with her and plan your possible life outlook after marriage.
Do you plan to live with your parent after marriage?
If yes for how long?
Who pays the rent?
What can she start doing to ease your financial burden?
What is the plan for making babies

The truth is,there are pple who earn less of that and are happily married... Don't look further, check out the "mallams "and their wives rocking life without regret

That is what marriage is about.. For good and bad time.
An am very sure that what you earning is the very least you are gonna earn,the same applies to her, that means that things can only get better for you both.

Good luck!

greatgod2012:




But will you rather like to be termed "lazy and irresponsible" if you get married with such an amount as your salary and you're unable to meet up with your family needs.

I honestly pray that God make a way for you and get a better pay, but is she ready to wait for you till then?
Pray. persevere and be focused.

u just dey form strong woman.if na u be the girl,how would u feel?