₦airaland Forum

Hello everyone, I'm not exactly new on the forum, I've always been a guest and I appreciate the way some Matters are treated.
My girl has been showing attributes of laziness and I'm beginning to think we might not work out, I love her a d wish to marry her.
She told me when we started four years ago that she was in the university but had a problem which made her drop out, I tried to encourage her to try again, she lied once that she was already admitted again, when I found out, I scolded her but forgave her. I sat her down to ask what she wants to do, I could set her up for business, she could learn any handwork, she said she doesn't want to do any of those, she is yet to figure out what she wants in life, she's 27.
I was outside the country for two years so I couldn't monitor her much but we talked everyday, I sent money to her to take jamb last year and she told me her admission clicked and I paid for her registration and other fees. On getting back to Nigeria, I found out she has not been in school, I suspected though But I wanted to give her benefits of doubt. She only talks about marriage and never how she'd be useful for herself.
Now, it's not like I have a problem being the sole provider in the marriage but what happens to that relationship itself,I would Come home to meet a woman with the same story of how she cleaned, cooked and wash everyday(superboredom) or what happens to her or my children if eventually I die?
I admire a woman with an independent mind, a woman that can take decisions whether I'm there or not. I find myself wishing other intelligent women were my babe and that is how cheating starts which I don't ever want to do.
I'm about to call off the relationship, I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing

yep, u are doing the right thing,

tsephanyah:
yep, u are doing the right thing,

I thought so too, thanks.

You should try and find out what she likes doing e.g cooking( caterer), making up(make up school), loves dressing( fashion school) e.t.c, when u are sure that u know what she loves n wont get bored doing, then secretly enroll in any of the classes, and tell her she must graduate from the course and become useful or she can kiss you goodbye.

nelycon:
I thought so too, thanks.

ur welcome, don't think because I didn't write in detail that u are not doing the right thing, u are doing the right thing, simply once again

It is very important that a woman gets useful for herself, what you have described is not new, there are some ladies like that that think everything they do in life should be catered for by men.
You seem to love her, you can try again and see how she will handle it, since you are even back, you can monitor her better.

Does she like di.ckson? Do give er back2back!

i dey come

Sexytemi:
You should try and find out what she likes doing e.g cooking( caterer), making up(make up school), loves dressing( fashion school) e.t.c, when u are sure that u know what she loves n wont get bored doing, then secretly enroll in any of the classes, and tell her she must graduate from the course and become useful or she can kiss you goodbye.

She is yet to know if she should learn trade or handiwork.

Vyolet:
It is very important that a woman gets useful for herself, what you have described is not new, there are some ladies like that that think everything they do in life should be catered for by men.
You seem to love her, you can try again and see how she will handle it, since you are even back, you can monitor her better.

Yes being useful for herself is all I want and I've been pushing hard for that, sometimes I feel I push too hard.

PheezyLee:
Does she like di.ckson? Do give er back2back!

You are funny .

Op you seem to love her very much and things like that hurts.You need to tell her that she needs to get something doing or you'd have to leave her,believe me you wouldn't want to have someone like that as the mother of your children PERIOD!

nelycon:
Hello everyone, I'm not exactly new on the forum, I've always been a guest and I appreciate the way some Matters are treated.
My girl has been showing attributes of laziness and I'm beginning to think we might not work out, I love her a d wish to marry her.
She told me when we started four years ago that she was in the university but had a problem which made her drop out, I tried to encourage her to try again, she lied once that she was already admitted again, when I found out, I scolded her but forgave her. I sat her down to ask what she wants to do, I could set her up for business, she could learn any handwork, she said she doesn't want to do any of those, she is yet to figure out what she wants in life, she's 27.
I was outside the country for two years so I couldn't monitor her much but we talked everyday, I sent money to her to take jamb last year and she told me her admission clicked and I paid for her registration and other fees. On getting back to Nigeria, I found out she has not been in school, I suspected though But I wanted to give her benefits of doubt. She only talks about marriage and never how she'd be useful for herself.
Now, it's not like I have a problem being the sole provider in the marriage but what happens to that relationship itself,I would Come home to meet a woman with the same story of how she cleaned, cooked and wash everyday(superboredom) or what happens to her or my children if eventually I die?
I admire a woman with an independent mind, a woman that can take decisions whether I'm there or not. I find myself wishing other intelligent women were my babe and that is how cheating starts which I don't ever want to do.
I'm about to call off the relationship, I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing

For 21 century, abeg call off d relationship which kind liability be dat one

nelycon:
She is yet to know if she should learn trade or handiwork..

I didn't say you should wait for her to decide, do what u feel is best for her since she doesn't know, and having a handiwork is best for her...not to be mean o, but if you just open a shop for her with d money coming from your side and non from hers..., she will run down the business.

ladies re confused being oro wonti sunmi

nelycon:
Hello everyone, I'm not exactly new on the forum, I've always been a guest and I appreciate the way some Matters are treated.
My girl has been showing attributes of laziness and I'm beginning to think we might not work out, I love her a d wish to marry her.
She told me when we started four years ago that she was in the university but had a problem which made her drop out, I tried to encourage her to try again, she lied once that she was already admitted again, when I found out, I scolded her but forgave her. I sat her down to ask what she wants to do, I could set her up for business, she could learn any handwork, she said she doesn't want to do any of those, she is yet to figure out what she wants in life, she's 27.
I was outside the country for two years so I couldn't monitor her much but we talked everyday, I sent money to her to take jamb last year and she told me her admission clicked and I paid for her registration and other fees. On getting back to Nigeria, I found out she has not been in school, I suspected though But I wanted to give her benefits of doubt. She only talks about marriage and never how she'd be useful for herself.
Now, it's not like I have a problem being the sole provider in the marriage but what happens to that relationship itself,I would Come home to meet a woman with the same story of how she cleaned, cooked and wash everyday(superboredom) or what happens to her or my children if eventually I die?
I admire a woman with an independent mind, a woman that can take decisions whether I'm there or not. I find myself wishing other intelligent women were my babe and that is how cheating starts which I don't ever want to do.
I'm about to call off the relationship, I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing

Look at the GOOD side of your woman.

She is not cheating on you. She is not disobedient. She is not flirting with other men to your face. She is not the nagging type. You already said she can take good care of your home front. Nobody has it all.

In the Bible, a woman is called a HELPER.

Thats her position. Ambitious women have their huge problems too. No woman is perfect. How many graduates are even gainfully employed ? Would you rather spend a million naira on her education and she makes third class and still end in ur kitchen ?

I will advice you to marry her and invest in real estate to calm your fears of what may happen tomorrow to her and kids incase you are not around.

You are doing the right thing op



Hey!!!
Tell her to go for deliverance, she really needs it

Naughtysite:
Look at the GOOD side of your woman.

She is not cheating on you. She is not disobedient. She is not flirting with other men to your face. She is not the nagging type. Though she is not ambitious, you already said she can take good care of your home front.

In the Bible, a woman is called a HELPER.

Thats her position.

I will advice you to marry her and invest in real estate to calm your fears of what may happen tomorrow to her and kids incase you are not around.

Are you serious right now? He should marry a 27yr old woman who doesn't know what she wants from life simply because she doesn't cheat and she can cook well? He should go ahead and marry a woman who lies to him, collects money from him and diverts it to supposedly unimportant things? Marry someone who would teach his children to take life non-challantly? Abegi....

tsephanyah:
yep, u are doing the right thing,

May your boyfriend do the right thing too..

Say Amen.

Majesticniyi:
Are you serious right now? He should marry a 27yr old woman who doesn't know what she wants from life simply because she doesn't cheat and she can cook well? He should go ahead and marry a woman who lies to him, collects money from him and diverts it to supposedly unimportant things? Marry someone who would teach his children to take life non-challantly? Abegi....

Okay, let him dump her, let us hear his story about the next woman.

Bros, i don see all types of women. I was even ready to marry a WAEC holder once she is GOOD.

Sexytemi:
You should try and find out what she likes doing e.g cooking( caterer), making up(make up school), loves dressing( fashion school) e.t.c, when u are sure that u know what she loves n wont get bored doing, then secretly enroll in any of the classes, and tell her she must graduate from the course and become useful or she can kiss you goodbye.

Thank you.

Everyone must not go to university..

Naughtysite:
Thank you.

Everyone must not goto to university..

Abi...she doesnt sound like one that wants to go to the uni.

Naughtysite:
May your boyfriend do the right thing too..
Say Amen.

lol

Naughtysite:
Okay, let him dump her, let us hear his story about the next woman.

Bros, i don see all types of women. I was even ready to marry a WAEC holder once she is GOOD.

Its not about the fact that she doesn't have a certificate bro, the issue is that she doesn't know what she wants from Life and lies to cover that up. Op is ready to be with her even if she learns a trade. The underlined word here is the GOOD you talked about. There are issues you overlook in a woman, living a purposeless life isn't one of them.

Op listen to this dude @Majesticniyi. Walai ur babe come dis world for one thing..to enjoy!!

You can go ahead and marry her o but u go get work or You should make her understand how u feel about her lazy attitude to herself. If she wont even step up for herself how will she step up for u or ur kids when u both start having them?

If this is exactly how it is, Oh bruh, take to the exit.

Maybe you shouldn't be brash at it tho, closing all gates of emotions between you two gradually might be a good starter, On seeing this happen, she might get to understand you're not all about the pvssy power! Maybe yo gradual withdrawal might press the reset button in her brain. Just Maybe!

Naughtysite:
Thank you.

Everyone must not go to university..

It is not about going to the University, it is about being useful to herself and imparting and bringing up the kids with an independent mindset.
In her case, she only wishes to sit home all day without challenging her brain. If it is for chores, a maid can easily do them.

Majesticniyi:
Its not about the fact that she doesn't have a certificate bro, the issue is that she doesn't know what she wants from Life and lies to cover that up. Op is ready to be with her even if she learns a trade. The underlined word here is the GOOD you talked about. There are issues you overlook in a woman, living a purposeless life isn't one of them.

You understood my post perfectly.
Lies and lazy behavior towards herself. If she's this lazy as a single lady, what would happen once she's married.

Youre not compatible period.

Some other guy might like her "homely" nature...