Good morning nairalanders, am writing this with a confused mind and really want matured advice here.
This morning my mother wake me up around 5am, telling me we need to talk, I quickly jumped up and joined her, she started crying that I should forgive her, and I was wondering what on earth she could have done to that extent thou we having tough time at home presently. She looked at me and said the person she claim he's my father was not the one that fathered me, thou the man I assume is my father had died 12yrs ago, and even before he died I never lived with him, never had the feeling of having a father then, but I still have the hope of not being fatherless. but I still can't believe her, my mum is a minister of God in one of this big churches, how come could she have the mind to keep such a big secrete for 25yrs? And No one knows about this.
Now this was the excuse she gave for her actions then, she said when she married my pressumed father, she couldn't give birth for 3yrs, meanwhile her very 1st husband had threatened her that she will never give birth again, so she was scared that she had to give in to another man, just to be certain, and unfortunately that man conceived her, and the man wanted her as his wife then, but she had to run away from the man because of the man I claim to be my father and mum also made the pregnancy issue a secret from the man then zone it to the other man [my presumed father]
Now the issue am having is this after 25yrs my mum claim the holy spirit won't let her be, she had gone to meet that man and tell him the whole truth, she was just telling me mine now. She wanted me to meet my father tomorrow after 25yrs but am confused as am not ready for this......
Pls I need advise can this in anyway affect my life if I choose to ignore and didn't acknowledge this fact??
Pls anybody that has once handle this should help me
Pls another question here is do I have to change my surname if actually I decided to acknowledge him?
Pls mood help me with this

Hmm..

Go and meet him, it's not his fault

This is very pathetic, but you have to encourage her in order not to affect her healthwise. Thank your God that she even told you. All you need to do is to be prayerful and ensure you are mindful of what you say when you eventually meet your dad, and furthermore, your mum can't be blamed, whatever that will be will be. I will encourage you to be more prayerful because the new family you are about to be introduced to is very new to you and your siblings there may not really welcome you at a go like that, they will see you as a rival but with God all things are possible. Best of luck bro.

end time secret

Untainted007:
This is very pathetic, but you have to encourage her in order not to affect her healthwise. Thank your God that she even told you. All you need to is to be prayerful and ensure you are mindful of what you say when you eventually meet your dad.

Mindful of what I say like not be aggressive or what?

If the Holy Spirit directed her to reveal the secret to both you and your biological father, don't you think the same Holy Spirit will know how to handle the matter?

Don't condemn/judge your mum. She didn't do right but nobody is above mistakes. She was under pressure by your foster dad to conceive and that turned her to a desperate woman.

Get to meet your biological dad, who knows, this may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Have a lovely day.

powerfulsettingz:

Mindful of what I say like not be aggressive or what?

Yes, don't pour out all your mind. Bible said 'Be fast to hear but be slow to reply' I said that so no one will hold you against your word. Just encourage your mum. Ideally it might look bad for not telling you all this while. But there's always time for everything. She told you at the appointed time when your maturity can handle it.

I will be back.

EzePromoe:
Your mother never loved you (just forget about all her emotional outbursts) for her to have put you through this false life, now see what she has done and your life will never remain the same. But just forgive her and repay her with love. May God forgive some women

Is there any implications for this?

Bros... First go inside your room & have a good cry and after crying forgive your mum.

Second, follow her to go meet your real father, forgive him too.

Third: accept both ur mum & dad. Be a good son u v always been.

Finally: stay away from sympathiszers they will kill you with their lies & fake sympathy. Accept ur fate in faith so that u will enjoy ur parents.

powerfulsettingz:

Is there any implications for this?

If you're the emotional kind of person, YES. It's going to be traumatic and you're not going to see your mother the same way as before.

EzePromoe:
If you're the emotional kind of person, YES. It's going to be traumatic and you're not going to see your mother the same way as before.

Honestly I started the mind set of leaving her since she reveal this

You should forgive your mum.It will help you in dealing with the affairs of your future.
There is no implication you will suffer with whatever you decide to do.You could go and meet your real father and get to know him or you could decide to just let things be as they are and live your life.

...it beats me how some men can have a child in the house and not doubt the child is theirs.I dey too sensitive for this kain thing.

Holy spirit? After 25years? Where as it been since all these years? Nonsense. That is her conscience eating her up. Op, go n meet ur father jare.

KissCODE:
Bros... First go inside your room & have a good cry and after crying forgive your mum.

Second, follow her to go meet your real father, forgive him too.

Third: accept both ur mum & dad. Be a good son u v always been.

Finally: stay away from sympathiszers they will kill you with their lies & fake sympathy. Accept ur fate in faith so that u will enjoy ur parents.

forgive his father for what wrong? When his mother clearly made the pregnancy issue a secret frm him n even ran away with it. Go n meet ur father jare op

Wowzer!

Women and paternity fraud sha. Bros, go and meet him. He might turn out to be a great friend , not necessarily a father. If my mom decides to shock me with a new father today, she would be shocked at my level of acceptance. Anyways, I look forward to watching my kids grow with touches of me and their daddy's features in them...the daddy they call daddy.

Bro you should be happy she told u this.I suggest you try to get some things or gifts as I will call it to present to him.There is nothing there Bro I have been there before

Don't know why Holy Spirit has to be used as excuse for confession that has to do with Conscience.

Sorry to say your mum is evil, hard hearted with no conscience. 25yrs? If your pseudo father had not died, would she have made the confession. Just wondering how she eats, sleeps and wake up seeing you for 25 years knowing your real father is somewhere and concealing it from you.

Meet up with your father, not his fault since he was deceived.

Find the heart to forgive your mother. I feel for your pseudo- father cos he was deceived till death.

Women!

Every day my fear of women increases. I fear those creatures. Their heart is very deep. What is going on in there one can never say.
At least men always let you know where you stand with them. But women..... I fear

Abeg, my mum should come n reveal to me dat Dangote is my real father ooo.

thelish:
Abeg, my mum should come n reveal to me dat Dangote is my real father ooo.

How can you read my mind so fast?

corisande:


How can you read my mind so fast?

Hahahahaha. I have always dreamt of a day like dat ooo. Seems it will never come to pass. lol

corisande:


How can you read my mind so fast?

see them, choppers association!

Your mum didn't mean harm to you. She's been living with a huge burden all these years. She was in matrimonial pain and to cope with that she cheated on her husband. Sin number one.

To cover up one sin she needed other sins : Not opening up to her husband on the owner of the child ; not letting you know of your real dad even when you became of age.

Why would she do that? No, she's not evil, she doesn't hate you nor detest her husband. There is no sinister motive. The reason is just FEAR.

Fear of what will people say? A woman of God? Tufiakwa! She fears a scandal too big for her will unravel and decimate her and all she's built.

Second, Fear of you. Why complicate your life further? If I tell him can he handle it? Won't it kill him? Will he still look at me as a good mother or role model? Will my son still trust me?

You see, one sin has set in motion a complicated network of actions and behaviours and outcomes. Unintended consequences. That's what it's called.

We all make mistakes. We all sin. Even the best of us.

Forgive her. Don’t make things worse for her. Trust me your mum must have been through hell all these years. Even right now. She's been paying for her sins. It's her cross. May God forgive her.

Bring closure to things. Meet your dad. Be a man. It's never the same after a certain age, nevertheless be brave. Half bread is better than chinchin. Besides you never know.

Be strong. Be open. Be forgiving. Have courage. Life may yet have great things in store for you.

Remember, fortune favours the brave.

thelish:
Abeg, my mum should come n reveal to me dat Dangote is my real father ooo.

you like better thing sha

omoharry:
you like better thing sha

With this kind revelation, breakthrough is my other name ooo. I will love my mum more. lol

I like the bolded.

Wowzer:
Don't know why Holy Spirit has to be used as excuse for confession that has to do with Conscience.

Sorry to say your mum is evil, hard hearted with no conscience. 25yrs? If your pseudo father had not died, would she have made the confession. Just wondering how she eats, sleeps and wake up seeing you for 25 years knowing your real father is somewhere and concealing it from you.

Meet up with your father, not his fault since he was deceived.

Find the heart to forgive your mother. I feel for your pseudo- father cos he was deceived till death.

Women!

Nonsense! Names or fathers or families don't make anyone who he or she is. Hard work does. Names are for tombstones. Ignore this and move on with life.

I nearly allowed this stupidity ruin my life. Don't let it do same to you.

Remember the millions at motherless babies home. They too are the earth.

oglalasioux:
Nonsense! Names or fathers or families don't make anyone who he or she is. Hard work does. Names are for tombstones. Ignore this and move on with life.

I nearly allowed this stupidity ruin my life. Don't let it do same to you.

Remember the millions at motherless babies home. They too are the earth.

You have said it all. @op Even if your father turns out to be dangote Do you think he will proudly accept you if you are a lazy bum when he has other kids to deal with.
There are many parentless kids. You have three and you are complaining. At least your adoptive father is the one who is supposed to be hurt, but he isn't because your mother covered his shame of not being able to impregnate her. Just calm down and think of all the good things she has been to you. Some people have biological fathers who are as useless as the p in psychology.