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My Mother Is Seeing Other Men - Family - Nairaland

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The Hatred I Have For My Mother Is Getting Worse / What Do Some Men Gain From Sleeping With Other Men's Wives??? / I Caught My Wife Selling Her Nude Pictures To Other Men. What Should I Do? (2) (3) (4)

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My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Yelabechi: 1:52pm On Sep 16, 2017
I am a guy of 34 and I'm married with 2kids.
I have been going through my mom's phone for a while now and things I see on it are too bad. She has been having sexchats with 3 different men, I am most certain she has met and had sex with one of them.

Background to the story....

My dad has never been the very responsible type, a chronic womanizer and he was always hurting her because she loved him to the extreme. There had been cases where she was even arrested by the police from one of his side chicks who he sponsored through school till she graduated, also a time he brought another one home who engaged in fight with my mom and nothing was done by my dad. There are so many cases like that whom i may not be able to say much on to avoid long story.

As I write this now, he has been out of the house for the past one month living with a girl of about 24. I called him severally man to man to know his motive and he said he can't just explain it but mom has not wrong him in a way because she is a good wife who knows how to take care of her man.

My mom is very beautiful and looks younger than a woman in her fifties so it is not unexpected that other men would hit on her.

I took time to imagine walking in her shoes and I understand she is really hurt, she has asked to leave his house several, I've been the one calming her down and advising her not to leave at her age. She is independent and has a good job, and according to her there is no sexual relationship between them again.

Now I know she is flirting with these men due to loniless and several heartbreak but then, it is disgusting to me that my mom is involved in that even to the point of sending nudes, I saw all these and I am just confused on how to handle this matter.

Should I confront her or just keep mute.

32 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 1:57pm On Sep 16, 2017
1. Your dad is/has been a chronic, irresponsible, unrepentant and insensitive cheat.
2.He has subjected the innocent woman to all sorts of emotional and physical abuse, even from third parties (his side chicks).
2b. All for no fault of hers.
3. He is currently with one of his side chicks.
4. Their sex life is dead.
5. Mummy is beautiful and fit _halleluyah somebody!!!
6. Mummy is independent and strong.
7. Mummy wanted to leave the marriage, you told her not to.
8. Now, mummy is moving on with her life (albeit wrongly) and you're not happy.


What kind of son are you bikonu? You don't want her to leave the marriage, you don't want her to move on. What do you want? Disrespecting her vows is NO-NO, so _ allow her leave. She should have one steady partner and not multiple (safe sex and safe chatting is important), that's the only thing you should be advising her on.

Did it ever occur to you, that just like so many married women, with community horsebands, your mum was waiting for her kids to grow within a complete family system(as society demands) before divorcing? You still decided to stop her.

This is why it's good for women to be independent and remain physically appealing. All that "who will want you after 3kids" threat, na for women wey no know wassup.

Soldier come, soldier go _barracks go remain.
This na open marriage Season1.

611 Likes 51 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nwodosis(m): 1:58pm On Sep 16, 2017
Your Mum and Dad are in what is called Polyamorous marriage! You better allow event to take care of itself, confronting you mother is exposing yourself to fury of a woman who has been in dejection. But guy, you no also try o, invading your mother's privacy.

114 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by BlackDBagba: 1:58pm On Sep 16, 2017
Ok
Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 2:01pm On Sep 16, 2017
So you mean your mom shouldn't enjoy herself because she married? op are you crazy!
your dad is outdated and is good for her to have a taste on young guys so that she will not age quickly.you mom is smart audacious and quality woman , tell her to put in more effort!

63 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by lilmax(m): 2:07pm On Sep 16, 2017
let her do what she wants, as far there are consequences, you don't have to worry yourself about it

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Feranchek(m): 2:12pm On Sep 16, 2017
taoheedoriloye:
So you mean your mom shouldn't enjoy herself because she married? op are you crazy!
your dad is outdated and is good for her to have a taste on young guys so that she will not age quickly.you mom is smart audacious and quality woman , tell her to put in more effort!

So cos the man does it, then she should engage in it too. You geh sense? Well, na omode dey worrey you. If she wants sexual satisfaction, then file for a divorce!

Yelabechi, their marriage seem to have hit rock bottom, so to avoid shame through illicit affairs, let her kukuma file for a divorce and biko don't stop her again cos you sef don see sey konji don hold the woman.

30 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by carammel(f): 2:21pm On Sep 16, 2017
Well,I understand if you dont want your mom to leave,that may give room for open affair since she would be living alone and since we are in Africa,she will turn to outcast by mere doing that and you lot would call her all sort of names.
Allow the woman be sir and face your own family, just try as much as possible not to go the way of your dad. He is a very bad example but a good example of most African men.

54 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 2:22pm On Sep 16, 2017
I fit get ur momsi numba .no vex

43 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by keepingmum: 2:32pm On Sep 16, 2017
Learn to mind your biz and accord your mum her respect by not invading her privacy.
Your dad is a disgrace of a man and your mum has feelings which your dad has failed to fulfill both physically and emotionally.
She has found that outside via multiple men and how she satisfies herself shouldn't concern u......i repeat stay away from her phone

104 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by thesicilian: 2:51pm On Sep 16, 2017
Yelabechi:
I am a guy of 34 and I'm married with 2kids.
I have been going through my mom's phone for a while now and things I see on it are too bad. She has been having sexchats with 3 different men,I am most certain she has met and had sex with one of them.
Background to the story....
My dad has never been the very responsible type,a chronic womanizer and he was always hurting her because she loved him to the extreme. There had been cases where she was even arrested by the police from one of his side chicks who he sponsored through school till she graduated,also a time he brought another one home who engaged in fight with my mom and nothing was done by my dad.There are so many cases like that whom i may not be able to say much on to avoid long story.
As I write this now,he has been out of the house for the past one month living with a girl of about 24.
I called him severally man to man to know his motive and he said he can't just explain it but mom has not wrong him in a way because she is a good wife who knows how to take care of her man.
My mom is very beautiful and looks younger than a woman in her fifties so it is not unexpected that other men would hit on her.
I took time to imagine walking in her shoes and I understand she is really hurt,she has asked to leave his house several,I've been the one3 calming her down and advising her not to leave at her age. She is independent and has a good job,and according to her there is no sexual relationship between them again.

Now I know she is flirting with these men due to loniless and several heartbreak but then,it is disgusting to me that my mom is involved in that even to the point of sending nudes,I saw all these and I am just confused on how to handle this matter. Should I confront her or just keep mute.
If the above bolded part is true, then she has done nothing wrong by wanting to find happiness again. I'll suggest you leave her alone, focus on your own family and don't be like your dad.

90 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Yelabechi: 2:58pm On Sep 16, 2017
PaperLace:
1. Your dad is/has been a chronic, irresponsible, unrepentant and insensitive cheat.
2.He has subjected the innocent woman to all sorts of emotional and physical abuse, even from third parties (his side chicks).
2b. All for no fault of hers.
3. He is currently with one of his side chicks.
4. Their sex life is dead.
5. Your mum wanted to leave the marriage, you told her not to.
6. Mummy is beautiful and fit _halleluyah somebody!!!
7. Mummy is independent and strong.
8. Mummy is moving on with her life (albeit wrongly) and you're not happy.

What kind of son are you bikonu? You don't want her to leave the marriage, you don't want her to move on. What do you want? Disrespecting her vows is NO-NO, so _ allow her leave. She should have one steady partner and not multiple, that's the only thing you should be advising her on (If at all you should advise her).

Did it ever occur to you, that just like so many married women, with community horsebands, your mum was waiting for her kids to grow within a complete family syst
em
(as society demands) before divorcing?
You still decided to stop her.

This is why it's good for women to be independent and remain physically appealing. All that "who will want you after 3kids" threat, na for women wey no know wassup.

Soldier come, soldier go _barracks go remain.
This na open marriage Season1.
wow,you grab everything even up to what I didn't put there.

I really dont like the idea of her living alone,it could give room for many men visiting her and I can't stand such from my mom.

6 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Yelabechi: 3:02pm On Sep 16, 2017
carammel:
Well,I understand if you dont want your mom to leave,that may give room for open affair since she would be living alone and since we are in Africa,she will turn to outcast by mere doing that and you lot would call her all sort of names.
Allow the woman be sir and face your own family, just try as much as possible not to go the way of your dad. He is a very bad example but a good example of most African men.
You are right in the part that her living alone would bring about open affair.
lol,ma I can't be like him at least I'm married and I love my family,my wife does not deserve to be hurt and I can't stand my kids having emotional trauma courtesy of me.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Ab025(m): 3:03pm On Sep 16, 2017
It's better she officially leaves the marriage and remarry, I don't support adultery......especially for a woman in her fifties!

That's terrible

If the man has decided to be so reckless with life, it doesn't mean the woman too should also follow suit..

52 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Yelabechi: 3:05pm On Sep 16, 2017
Nwodosis:
Your Mum and Dad are in what is called Polyamorous marriage! You better allow event to take care of itself, confronting you mother is exposing yourself to fury of a woman who has been in dejection. But guy, you no also try o, evading your mother's privacy.
Anytime I visit home,I help fix one or two things on her phone so I get tempted to check things she is up to.

1 Like

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by elektra(f): 3:40pm On Sep 16, 2017
Your mum has been through such a miserable marriage life and you have contributed to it by encouraging her to remain with your grossly irresponsible dad. I don't know how anyone can stand to watch their mother suffer so much and then encourage her to continue suffering. You want her to die without living a better, peaceful life?
Please now is the perfect time for her to get out of the marriage. You kids are grown and she is getting older so she does not have the stamina to withstand your dad's shenanigans. If one of the side chicks comes to fight with your mum at fifty, do you think she will survive it?
If she leaves the marriage she won't have to be sneaking around, she can openly date and participate in a new committed relationship.

50 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nellychinma20(f): 4:10pm On Sep 16, 2017
Just let her enjoy her heaven on earth ,she really tried staying that long with ur a******* of a father .

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 4:14pm On Sep 16, 2017
Yelabechi:

wow,you grab everything even up to what I didn't put there.

I really dont like the idea of her living alone,it could give room for many men visiting her and I can't stand such from my mom.

You can stand it from your dad but not your mum.
I don't get you.
Your dad has moved out so technically your mum is alone. Your an adult not a child. She doesn't owe you explanations same way your dad didn't ask for your permission to have his numerous affairs.
Quit your double standards..that's the reason she's having secret affairs.
Let your mum go stop guilt tripping her.

Its her marriage. Let her end it if she so wishes. Advice her on the next person to consider to date that he should be worthy of her.
She's your mum

46 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Daeylar(f): 4:41pm On Sep 16, 2017
I hope even after you saw how badly your dad treated your mum, you're not here trying to ask for help on how to stop her enjoying her life?

I mean the man trained one sidechick through university, she was arrested by police because of that sidechick, brought home another one to fight with your mum, no sexual relationship, many more stories and it seems like you're bothered because she wants to find another man and live her life., why? She deserves to. Don't you think so? You should be happy for her. Why aren't you?

This is bad, no offence but it seems like your parents raised another generation of men who think that a man cheating is manageable but the woman shouldn't cheat and she also shouldn't leave if the man cheats.

You witnessed how wrong and painful it is for the mum first hand yet you turned out this way.
Too bad. what went wrong

Maybe you don't want you parents marriage to break up but you need to understand that your mum's happiness comes first and if leaving and finding someone new is what will make her happy then you need to support her.

Op, here is how to handle it, you need to be happy that your mum is moving on. If she wants to leave the marriage. that's fine,
Be there for her, be happy for her.

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 4:52pm On Sep 16, 2017
Leave the woman alone, she deserves to be happy, its an open marriage the way I see it.

7 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by nautybride: 5:04pm On Sep 16, 2017
Men will always be men. They want women in their control for life, even OP wants his mum to continue in misery. Your mum no try o, she kukuma endure till last na!

7 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 5:05pm On Sep 16, 2017
Mind your business,face your wife and fu..c...k her well.

8 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Evacroft: 5:44pm On Sep 16, 2017
Very selfish act , u never have been able to sort the wary ways of ur father but u want to stop ur mum from moving forward, her life,her choice. I still dont know why women endure these bullshit all in the name of what pple will say.

14 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by emeraldknytt(m): 6:36pm On Sep 16, 2017
I see quite rational points here but something is amiss. If your mother has made up her mind to part ways with your father, try as much as possible to persuade her to "Hold steady to A MAN she finds her true happiness with" . Sorry to say but jumping around will only paint you dark and also make her prone to the numerous STIs and STDs some men harbor in their bodies.

11 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by sisisioge: 7:16pm On Sep 16, 2017
Hmmm...pls mind your business. But try to spend as much time as you can manage with her. Its ain't over until it is finally over...so glad she got her groove back cool

3 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by baby124: 7:35pm On Sep 16, 2017
Leave her phone alone and go and face your family. You are living your own life, you don't want her to at least live her own life. From your age and her age it's obvious she married very early. To a very irresponsible man. Now she is trying to find some joy and peace but you want to pour sand in her garri. Please let her leave your father if it will give her peace.

You can advise her on the dangers of sending nudes however, and the importance of focusing on a relationship with a good and caring man. Because of her age when she got married she may be naive about taking sexual precautions so try to educate her on the importance of a condom.

9 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Adaumunocha(f): 7:55pm On Sep 16, 2017
Feranchek:


So cos the man does it, then she should engage in it too. You geh sense? Well, na omode dey worrey you. If she wants sexual satisfaction, then file for a divorce!

Yelabechi, their marriage seem to have hit rock bottom, so to avoid shame through illicit affairs, let her kukuma file for a divorce and biko don't stop her again cos you sef don see sey konji don hold the woman.
I wonder if the op tried checking his dad's amorous behavior. No one should deprive one of happiness biko. Op biko face front.

5 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 8:02pm On Sep 16, 2017
Leave her alone and mind your business! Why didn't you open a thread about your irresponsible dad living with another girl? So you expect her to just be at home anxiously waiting for your promiscuous dad to return while she seeps in sadness? Abeg leave that woman alone!!!! Allow her to be happy and satisfy her sexual needs. It's not only your dad that knows how to cheat.

24 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by AngelicBeing: 8:03pm On Sep 16, 2017
sad

2 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by LadyJustice(f): 8:03pm On Sep 16, 2017
.
Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by DanielsParker(m): 8:04pm On Sep 16, 2017
Werin you wan make the woman do na?


this op sef.

4 Likes

Re: My Mother Is Seeing Other Men by Nobody: 8:04pm On Sep 16, 2017
Pictures of the nudes or.....

2 Likes

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