₦airaland Forum

dangotesmummy:
Op

chocolateme:
It is well.. So na you and her pastor go dey marry her now, because finally na the pastor opinion and decision go dey rule in your marriage with her.
This is not good at all.

MARKone:
Let me advice you as a Junior brother, hold on to that proposal first, till you are sure that she will change, or that you can fully accommodate her anger issues, against all odds. You see, a lot of people do notice some character or attitudinal flaws in their partners during courtship, yet they end up getting married hoping that they can manage it, but they end up getting burnt wishing that union never happened. Anger Is a little fit of madness, it can get dangerous and deadly, as that person at that moment, might not know what he or she is doing. I am telling you from experience, hold on till you are sure, start by telling her plainly that you can't continue with relationship, if she doesn't change. And you, I hope you no be the type wey dey make pesin craze.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

Ginaz:
I wish I could give you advise but I'm terribly angry now myself.

x240:
it is not your job to treat her. She has a personal disorder and anger is the only way for her to show it.

What she needs is a psychiatrist to help her overcome her anger issues. You aren't qualified enough and since you play a dominant role in her life and you are a trigger for her anger period. You aren't suited to really help her effectively.


Visiting a mental health practitioner doesn't have to be only when someone is walking unclad on the streets.

She may have chemical imbalances which doubles her anxiety levels and causes such anger episodes and may be given long term medications, things to avoid to help her overcome this.

Her own characteristics is even peculiar as she always likes to make a scene by shouting and inviting third parties. Just a warning to you.... It would aggravate if you continue with her without seeking medical help. She would drag you outside and your neighborhood would have to come settle numerous quarrels and I fear you would spiral out of control one day. Slap her to calm her down or show your superior and things might spiral out of control. It's already happening(You blocking her hands from making phone calls) What wkuld be next? Lock her indoors and wrestle her to the floor so she can't cause a scene?


Truth is, this is not something you overcome in a day. It takes years to undo 20 years of attitude, environment and nature. Stay safe.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

x240:
it is not your job to treat her. She has a personal disorder and anger is the only way for her to show it.

What she needs is a psychiatrist to help her overcome her anger issues. You aren't qualified enough and since you play a dominant role in her life and you are a trigger for her anger period. You aren't suited to really help her effectively.


Visiting a mental health practitioner doesn't have to be only when someone is walking unclad on the streets.

She may have chemical imbalances which doubles her anxiety levels and causes such anger episodes and may be given long term medications, things to avoid to help her overcome this.

Her own characteristics is even peculiar as she always likes to make a scene by shouting and inviting third parties. Just a warning to you.... It would aggravate if you continue with her without seeking medical help. She would drag you outside and your neighborhood would have to come settle numerous quarrels and I fear you would spiral out of control one day. Slap her to calm her down or show your superior and things might spiral out of control. It's already happening(You blocking her hands from making phone calls) What wkuld be next? Lock her indoors and wrestle her to the floor so she can't cause a scene?


Truth is, this is not something you overcome in a day. It takes years to undo 20 years of attitude, environment and nature. Stay safe.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.


Alot have been said.....but bro wait oh, u suppose give us the break down of wetin dey make her vex, if u no fvck up, she won't get mad....although I see love in your eyes and also in hers, that is why she voiced out... My candid advice, you know what she hates, please stop doing it...and if she gets angry over anything try this method (gently take a walk without saying a word) until u notice she has calm down. It doesn't look like u are weak or something. When the anger don clear from her eyes, just hug her and tell her u are sorry even if she is at fault.. Trust me, one day she will reminisce over things and tend to take it cool with u......

shaiba:
I'm happy for you, taking a step in the right direction.

Relationships of any kind is to help each other's weakness.

She may have some underlying pains that tends to trigger this anger, like you said she lost both parents and was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. What type of religion would separate a family? Has she tried to re-unit with them? They are the ones that will still give her out in marriage according to custom. What step has she/u taken to resolve this?

She has not enjoyed parental love or that kind of family love? This she found in you. She is lost and frustrated at the same time. You need to talk more about everything and anything. let her know you are ready to listen and not try to solve all her problems. You are now her father and mother.

As Christians, your foundation should be in the word of God. There are great prophets of God that lost out in God's Blessings because of anger.
Two can only walk together if they agree...

You should both go for counseling

See a therapist if need be.

Think, talk, pray and talk again.

I pray God to help you both in taking the right decision.

ifeanyi83:
Well at least there are no pretences. I believe she can be managed. We can never be perfect you know. Just be patient with her, I'm sure she'll learn to manage her anger with time...

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.