chocolateme:
It is well.. So na you and her pastor go dey marry her now, because finally na the pastor's opinion and decision go dey rule in your marriage with her.
This is not good at all.
Sight other examples of marriages destroyed by her kind of her arbitrary discretion and be firm to let her know that it's better not to go down the aisle this way than have a cold marriage. She will decide to choose. Pastor never settle his own family matter finish talk more of other people's own.
Who agrees with me that the church leaders and pastors has the most issues in their homes?
I am open to critics in case there are any..




FTC
CHOCOLATE CREAM

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

tuscani:
THE ANGER OF A WOMAN.

tuscani:
I tot we dealt with this topic before. well this is my response again

Almost all the posts here are saying similar thing. if you really love this woman, take her for anger management/ therapy first. I have a guy now who is wishing that only if he knew about nairaland before getting married. You case will be more pathetic because you have been warned by your peers. After marriage you will soon realised that Love is not only the ingredient required to sustain a marriage.

THE ANGER OF A WOMAN

What is a contentious woman? One that likes to contend – who likes to argue, criticize, disagree, fight, oppose, or question. She is full of questions, reminders, and suggestions – all to help, of course. Rather than dote on you, she will nag; rather than sweetly agree, she will question and suggest alternatives , she is critical, moody, opinionated, or questioning– until you wish you were single in the woods.

The odious woman cannot smell herself. She thinks she is helpful by prodding, asking questions, stressing over details, giving reminders, expecting perfection, or disliking a choice. If you were to ask her, she would say she is a good woman and wife

What is an angry woman? She cannot rule her spirit and likes to fight. She is easily angered, dissatisfied, irritated, negative, or resentful. She can find something negative about any event, and she frets and talks most about that. She is not satisfied. She is hardly ever content, seldom your sweet lover, but always irritated and stressed out.

Stkingsley:
The truth is, she is not temperamental. I thought she damages things at home. I dated my wife for 5 years. We started as teenagers and she is hot hot tempered and I made the mistake of thinking she will change with time but she never did. If she gets angry in our outings, she will walk out from there. Video, TV, mirror, phone even engagement ring were the things she threw away due to being angered. Today, we are married with 2 beautiful kids. She's a disciplinarian, so my kids and maid are well behaved.
Right now she bought all the gadgets in the house and so has spared them even though she threatens to break them for me to replace. As for behavior, my wife is well behaved, a good cook, washes, tidies the house and in fact a perfectionist. Very good in and out of bed, everything you would want in a woman but make sure you don't provoke her. Whether in an occasion or anywhere. If car key is with her, make sure to go home with cab or vice versa.

My story is the best advice for you. You alone knows the degree of her temperament. But the truth is, she will not change it after marriage. You can call me for more counseling. I am married for 8 years. I 08034157602

x240:
it is not your job to treat her. She has a personal disorder and anger is the only way for her to show it.

What she needs is a psychiatrist to help her overcome her anger issues. You aren't qualified enough and since you play a dominant role in her life and you are a trigger for her anger period. You aren't suited to really help her effectively.


Visiting a mental health practitioner doesn't have to be only when someone is walking unclad on the streets.

She may have chemical imbalances which doubles her anxiety levels and causes such anger episodes and may be given long term medications, things to avoid to help her overcome this.

Her own characteristics is even peculiar as she always likes to make a scene by shouting and inviting third parties. Just a warning to you.... It would aggravate if you continue with her without seeking medical help. She would drag you outside and your neighborhood would have to come settle numerous quarrels and I fear you would spiral out of control one day. Slap her to calm her down or show your superior and things might spiral out of control. It's already happening(You blocking her hands from making phone calls) What wkuld be next? Lock her indoors and wrestle her to the floor so she can't cause a scene?


Truth is, this is not something you overcome in a day. It takes years to undo 20 years of attitude, environment and nature. Stay safe.